Saying Disturbing Things

[Guest guest]

My aspie is 10 years old and he has been saying some really disturbing and

inappropriate things. I don't have any idea what to do about this. Each time

he says something I talk to him about it, but I guess I'm worried about what's

going on inside that he's coming up with this stuff. He's using bad language

(secretly, to his brother) and talking about violent and sexual things. Help!

[Guest guest]

Sexual things at age 10? That is grade 4 right.

That seems a little early. By grade 6 or 7 it is typical that

there is a lot of swearing and some fighting etc.

Any other symptoms? Problems sleeping? Mood swings? Outbursts?

Is this impulsive behavior such as passing thoughts or obsessive thoughts? Some

kids with OCD have very scary thoughts about violent

acts. Does it scare him? Some kids with mood disorders (manic)

have sexual thoughts very early and behave in ways inappriorate

for a young child.

On the other hand AS kids don't censor their thoughts

and it may just be this.

I think I would encourage him to tell you when he

has this thoughts so you can figure out what the pattern is

and if he is distrubed by them.

Has puberty started early for him, growth spurt, puberty

stage 1-2 for tanner scores early?

Pam

>

> My aspie is 10 years old and he has been saying some really disturbing and

> inappropriate things. I don't have any idea what to do about this. Each time

> he says something I talk to him about it, but I guess I'm worried about what's

> going on inside that he's coming up with this stuff. He's using bad language

> (secretly, to his brother) and talking about violent and sexual things. Help!

>

[Guest guest]

Where is he learning these things? What is happening prior to him saying them.

used to say a lot of terrible things if he was angry. He repeats horrible

things he hears just for the sake of repeating them. When your son says things,

does he know what they mean? I'm thinking some counseling might be in order.

Does he say these things at school?

Miriam

>

> My aspie is 10 years old and he has been saying some really disturbing and

> inappropriate things. I don't have any idea what to do about this. Each time

> he says something I talk to him about it, but I guess I'm worried about what's

> going on inside that he's coming up with this stuff. He's using bad language

> (secretly, to his brother) and talking about violent and sexual things. Help!

>

[Guest guest]

>

> " Where is he learning these things? What is happening prior to him saying

them. used to say a lot of terrible things if he was angry. He repeats

horrible things he hears just for the sake of repeating them. When your son

says things, does he know what they mean? I'm thinking some counseling might be

in order. Does he say these things at school? "

>

I haven't pinpointed a trigger. I have no idea where he's learning to say the

things he's saying. TV shows? We are a very conservative family so we filter

everything they watch/read etc. but obviously things could get through. It

seems like he does understand what he is saying but I don't know for sure. Like

yesterday he said it would be funny if he killed all the animals at the park (by

pouring water down their holes). I talked to him about why and he just laughed,

but when pressed finally said the animals might make a huge hole that we'd fall

into and die and it would be better for the animals to die first. Odd. He

doesn't go to school - we homeschool him.

[Guest guest]

> " Sexual things at age 10? That is grade 4 right. "

Yes. And it does seem very early to me. My husband took both of my older boys

through a preparing for adolescence class at church about 9 months ago, and I

wonder if some of the (very appropriate) information shared there was too much

for him?

> " Any other symptoms? Problems sleeping? Mood swings? Outbursts? "

He sleeps fine. Yes, definitely mood swings and outbursts. Of course some days

are better than others.

>

> " Is this impulsive behavior such as passing thoughts or obsessive thoughts?

Some kids with OCD have very scary thoughts about violent

> acts. Does it scare him? Some kids with mood disorders (manic)

> have sexual thoughts very early and behave in ways inappriorate

> for a young child. "

It seems impulsive as opposed to obsessive, but I don't know for sure. Maybe I

need to talk to him more to know what's going on inside. I would hate to think

of him having scary thoughts and feeling alone in it.

>

> " Has puberty started early for him, growth spurt, puberty

> stage 1-2 for tanner scores early? "

Not at all, no.

[Guest guest]

My stepson was making sexual comments to me at that age. He was ten when I married his dad seven years ago. He also touched me inappropriately. He said it was okay because he loved me. Later it was diagnosed as hypersexuality due to bipolar disorder & he was put on medication. Sent from my iPhoneBlessings, DonnaOn Apr 16, 2010, at 10:05 AM, "hiskids37@..." <hiskids37@...> wrote:

>" Sexual things at age 10? That is grade 4 right."

Yes. And it does seem very early to me. My husband took both of my older boys through a preparing for adolescence class at church about 9 months ago, and I wonder if some of the (very appropriate) information shared there was too much for him?

>" Any other symptoms? Problems sleeping? Mood swings? Outbursts?"

He sleeps fine. Yes, definitely mood swings and outbursts. Of course some days are better than others.

>

> "Is this impulsive behavior such as passing thoughts or obsessive thoughts? Some kids with OCD have very scary thoughts about violent

> acts. Does it scare him? Some kids with mood disorders (manic)

> have sexual thoughts very early and behave in ways inappriorate

> for a young child. "

It seems impulsive as opposed to obsessive, but I don't know for sure. Maybe I need to talk to him more to know what's going on inside. I would hate to think of him having scary thoughts and feeling alone in it.

>

> "Has puberty started early for him, growth spurt, puberty

> stage 1-2 for tanner scores early?"

Not at all, no.

[Guest guest]

That sounds like an OCD thought about fear of harm over animals making holes in

the ground. Except for the part where

you said he laughed. OCD thoughts don't make kids or adults

laugh they feel real fear.

I had a wierd thought when my daughter was born that I wanted

to cover the house in feathers to protect her so such wouldn't

get hurt. If I would have shared this thought I would have

laughed realizing it was a silly/wierd thought. But I

did feel real fear that she may get hurt.

I can't tell is he scared but doesn't want to say. My daughter

won't say she is afraid she just avoids things that scare her.

Will your son go to the park where the animals are?

Will he walk there with you. Exposure him to what he fears

and tell him even if there were holes all over you

won't get hurt. And walk on things that look like cracks etc

to exposure him. This will be telling if there is fear there

he won't want to walk on it.

Don't avoid these topics. I would treat wierd comments

as anxiety and exposure him to his fear.

If he says things about sexual topics. I would address

it as that he is noticing the differences between

males and females and label it as he is noticing

the differences and see what other things he notices

in the world such as different kinds of trees, plants

animals.

See what happens if there is always a turn back to sexual

thoughts or killing animals ....a therapist that deals

with kids with bipolar will be the most experienced

and not shocked by these thoughts.

Kids with bipolar always have a sleep issue and often have

violent dreams. You said he sleeps fine. But the comments

are not appropriate and need to be reshaped.

These thoughts then need to be addressed.

You want to make sure he develops empathy for animals.

Does he have pets? He should learn first aid and turn

his fasination with violence into good acts to help

others.

Don't be afraid to face these wierd comments. Take them

matter of factly and work on turning them around gently

and with understanding. Get a therpist for him or for yourself

if he won't go to talk to to anyone.

Dr. Tony Attwood has written that AS kids don't want to

talk about feelings and don't want to go to therapy.

My daugher is like that. It is hard to get them help.

Medications do help.

Pam

>

> >

> > " Where is he learning these things? What is happening prior to him saying

them. used to say a lot of terrible things if he was angry. He repeats

horrible things he hears just for the sake of repeating them. When your son

says things, does he know what they mean? I'm thinking some counseling might be

in order. Does he say these things at school? "

> >

> I haven't pinpointed a trigger. I have no idea where he's learning to say the

things he's saying. TV shows? We are a very conservative family so we filter

everything they watch/read etc. but obviously things could get through. It

seems like he does understand what he is saying but I don't know for sure. Like

yesterday he said it would be funny if he killed all the animals at the park (by

pouring water down their holes). I talked to him about why and he just laughed,

but when pressed finally said the animals might make a huge hole that we'd fall

into and die and it would be better for the animals to die first. Odd. He

doesn't go to school - we homeschool him.

>