Death of grandparent - advice needed!

[Guest guest]

My grandmother just passed away. My son is only 4, I have no idea how to

approach this. She'd been in a rehab center, and he asks about her every day and

we've been visiting, talking to her on the phone, etc. He was close to her. I

don't know what to do , what to tell him? He's already mentioned her today. We

fully expected her to recover, so I have not been prepping him for the

possibilty that she might not.

I'm leaning towards not bringing him to the wake/funeral. He's going to know

something's going on, as plans for this weekend are suddenly cancelled and next

week he will be missing some school.

Any suggestions? Has anyone dealt with this with an ASD child so young?

TJ

[Guest guest]

I would find a book about death and start reading it with him -

something age appropriate. If you go to someplace like Amazon.com and

just put in death in the children's books section, you will find some

that may help. Then you can also get them from your library as well.

This is one area that is so hard because we don't plan for the worst

and we sometimes don't see it coming. I am sorry to hear about your

grandmother. I don't know whether not bringing him is right or wrong -

a tough call. But do include him in as much as possible so he can

grieve and be comforted by family as well. That is really what

funeral's are about.

Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

( ) Death of grandparent - advice needed!

My grandmother just passed away. My son is only 4, I have no idea how

to approach this. She'd been in a rehab center, and he asks about her

every day and we've been visiting, talking to her on the phone, etc. He

was close to her. I don't know what to do , what to tell him? He's

already mentioned her today. We fully expected her to recover, so I

have not been prepping him for the possibilty that she might not.

I'm leaning towards not bringing him to the wake/funeral. He's going to

know something's going on, as plans for this weekend are suddenly

cancelled and next week he will be missing some school.

Any suggestions? Has anyone dealt with this with an ASD child so young?

TJ

[Guest guest]

Iam so sorry to hear about your loss.

Yes we have. My daughter was 4 when her uncle died and 5 when

her grandmother died.

Both times I framed the information like a social story.

I explained that her uncle or grandmother died. And

I told her how people in the family may feel, that

her Dad may cry and that people may be sad. And then

the day before the wake I explained what that was.

I rehearse what we would do, walk in, say hello to

family, and then I explained we would say a prayer

as a way of paying our last respects and then leave.

Both times things went well. The extended family was happy

to see her and their mood was happy and hugging her. And it

was touching that my husband and I held her hand as we

said a prayer. So I made it very structured.

I was not for her going to the mass and the cementary but

it meant a lot to my husband that she was there. I was very anxious

how I was going to keep her quiet and cooperative and if she

had a meltdown I was going to be trapped with her and not

have my own car to take her home. I was stressed. Somehow there were no

meltdowns.

I hope all things go well for you.

Pam

>

> My grandmother just passed away. My son is only 4, I have no idea how to

approach this. She'd been in a rehab center, and he asks about her every day and

we've been visiting, talking to her on the phone, etc. He was close to her. I

don't know what to do , what to tell him? He's already mentioned her today. We

fully expected her to recover, so I have not been prepping him for the

possibilty that she might not.

> I'm leaning towards not bringing him to the wake/funeral. He's going to know

something's going on, as plans for this weekend are suddenly cancelled and next

week he will be missing some school.

> Any suggestions? Has anyone dealt with this with an ASD child so young?

> TJ

>