Re: Re: exhale

[Guest guest]

Hi charlene. i've gotten a lot of positive mileage from empathizing with my 9yo

aspie's feelings. if he is venting it really helps to say something like i can

see that you are upset by xxxx. i can definitely understand how you would be

upset by that and i would be too. but the truth is that we cant behave like

that because it may be hurtful to others.

my son just wants to be heard and be told that its ok to have those feelings.

then i can guide him on his behaviors. we cant deny our kids their feelings.

we can help shape their behaviors though. geo

- ( ) Re: exhale

Sorry, but I am SO glad to hear of others!! I've been wanting to vent for days,

but just haven't gotten to it. Connor makes all kinds of annoying noises, some

singing, some just noise...and it drives us nuts!

He's also SOOOOO argumentative and negative, it about kills me! No matter what

I say, he's going to argue with me. I like something, he doesn't. I think

something's fun, he doesn't. He gripes and complains about doing schoolwork,

going to speech, going anywhere but where he wants to go. He's 12! I get so

frustrated b/c in my mind I feel like he should be able to have some self

control, but then I feel bad b/c I know he just can't some times He is VERY

smart and does great at school work and speech. She's doing some language

therapy with him and says he does AWESOME when he's there. Everytime I try to

add something fun or interesting to our schoolwork, it's met with sighing and

ughing and it depresses me b/c I work so hard to make our homeschool pleasant.

He also comes up with these scenarios and won't let up. Ex. We don't like the

fact that city is coming to country. Too many stores and buildings moving close

to our country house. He takes it to the extreme. He's goes on about how we

should just cut the power lines or knock down the pole on our property so they

can't have any electricity. We tell him it's illegal b/c it's not ours and it's

not a bright idea. He continues to argue that it's on our property and we'll

just block them from coming fix it, etc, etc, etc. No matter what I say, he

will try to come up with a way around it. He did the same thing when the

pirates took over the tanker a year or so ago. Argued me to death (even though

I had stopped " debating " him!!) about what they shoulda, coulda, woulda done to

stop it. No reasoning with him.

Sorry, didn't mean to take over your vent! LOL Whew, feels better just to tell

other's who know what it's like. Friends try to listen, but they just say it's

normal or that their kids do it...but they don't understand a mother's instinct

and the extent to which he does it.

BTW, do any of you find yourself looking at other kids and thinking " man,

he/she's got AS! " ?

Blessings,

Charlene

dh Troy

dss Connor (12) and (9)

dd Shaohannah (4, a. 11/20/06 Kunming)

dd Grace (3, a. 12/30/08. Jiaozou via PHF)

Check out the special children at Shepherd's Field Children's Village who need

sponsors! www.ChinaOrphans.org

www.themiracleofthemoment.blogspot.com

[Guest guest]

Oh those are cute...well, maybe not when he crumbled the paper...but he probably was fustrated because he wanted to know right away and you made him read which took longer...LOL...but I can understand it.

My son is 14. He fights us tooth and nail on everything...some mornings he tells me "I am" when I tell him to get up. He gets annoyed....but before he leaves to get on the bus he says...Bye Mom. I LOVE you. Even though 10 min. ago he told me I was annoying.

I think it is the Teen Years.

We asked him to study last night for his history test. Of course he got angry. Then he came in to me and said in a sweet voice...I know this stuff mom, we been going over it for TWO WEEKS! I said fine but you better come home with a good grade.

Later that night my husband asked him...why do you give us such a hard time when we mention homework. He says..."You don't know how much work I do in school. I feel it is relaxing time when I get home" I got a chuckle out of that.

Jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: MacAllister <smacalli@...> Sent: Tue, February 2, 2010 9:24:55 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: exhale

Here's a good one...I can find the humor in it now, but I was about to jump out of our SUV when it happened about an hour ago.

I handed Dylan a form and $3 to turn in today for a band fundraiser they are having later this month. In a black marker (not pen, marker) I checked the space that said "Check here if you can donate $3 to help purchase pancake mix, sausage, etc..." I clearly put a big, black checkmark in the space next to it. After I handed him the form, he said "what's this for?" I calmly told him "read the form." I could've just told him the details, but I thought he should figure this out on his own. He says "what's the money for?" and I tell him again "read the form!" Then he says, "this is a form for the pancake fundraiser, but what's the money for?" and I say "read the WHOLE form!!!" He ends up getting frustrated with me because I won't tell him and crumbles up part of the form. I'm incredulous at this point. Are you kidding me?

About 10 minutes later, we started laughing about it, but at the time, I was just so peturbed and angry. Once we were able to laugh about it, I told him "I really thought you should be able to figure out this mystery on your own, at the age of 13. Since you can read, I thought it was a no-brainer." He laughed about it with me too, but this happens from time to time. I think maybe it's a processing challenge, but I'm not giving in. He has to be able to manage things like this on his own.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: Charlene and Troy <troyandcharlene93> Sent: Mon, February 1, 2010 2:47:15 PMSubject: ( ) Re: exhale

Sorry, but I am SO glad to hear of others!! I've been wanting to vent for days, but just haven't gotten to it. Connor makes all kinds of annoying noises, some singing, some just noise...and it drives us nuts!

He's also SOOOOO argumentative and negative, it about kills me! No matter what I say, he's going to argue with me. I like something, he doesn't. I think something's fun, he doesn't. He gripes and complains about doing schoolwork, going to speech, going anywhere but where he wants to go. He's 12! I get so frustrated b/c in my mind I feel like he should be able to have some self control, but then I feel bad b/c I know he just can't some times. He is VERY smart and does great at school work and speech. She's doing some language therapy with him and says he does AWESOME when he's there. Everytime I try to add something fun or interesting to our schoolwork, it's met with sighing and ughing and it depresses me b/c I work so hard to make our homeschool pleasant.

He also comes up with these scenarios and won't let up. Ex. We don't like the fact that city is coming to country. Too many stores and buildings moving close to our country house. He takes it to the extreme. He's goes on about how we should just cut the power lines or knock down the pole on our property so they can't have any electricity. We tell him it's illegal b/c it's not ours and it's not a bright idea. He continues to argue that it's on our property and we'll just block them from coming fix it, etc, etc, etc. No matter what I say, he will try to come up with a way around it. He did the same thing when the pirates took over the tanker a year or so ago. Argued me to death (even though I had stopped "debating" him!!) about what they shoulda, coulda, woulda done to stop it. No reasoning with him.

Sorry, didn't mean to take over your vent! LOL Whew, feels better just to tell other's who know what it's like. Friends try to listen, but they just say it's normal or that their kids do it...but they don't understand a mother's instinct and the extent to which he does it.

BTW, do any of you find yourself looking at other kids and thinking "man, he/she's got AS!"?

Blessings,Charlenedh Troydss Connor (12) and (9)dd Shaohannah (4, a. 11/20/06 Kunming)dd Grace (3, a. 12/30/08. Jiaozou via PHF)Check out the special children at Shepherd's Field Children's Village who need sponsors! www.ChinaOrphans. org www.themiracleofthe moment.blogspot. com