Re: School's attitude

October 19, 2010

On Tue, Oct 19, 2010 at 2:27 PM, Catcelia <c2cats@...> wrote:

I just came from a team meeting and need to vent. The school did an FBA on my son and this meeting was to review it. Did they give you a copy before the meeting so you could preview it beforehand? The first thing that was said that most of the behaviors observed were no longer an issue. Sounds like the typical school district bullshit. Nothing like an out of date report to base your child's plan - SIGH. It was a long meeting. The short of it is that my son needs more social skills work. (DUH) They only provide him one opportunity per week. The psychologist said that my son needs it 5x/wk Then the school staff proceeded to tell me how it was my issue and not theirs. That I should make it my number one priority. (I felt like slapping the woman who said this.) And since there is no local help then I should be willing to travel to get this help for my son. When I asked how they expected my son to handle a lot of travel on a week day when he has so much homework (he stresses if he can't finish).

Not to mention my son already has a lot of afterschool appointments related to his health issues and the fact that although I have flexibility in my schedule I do work full time. I also pointed out that having social skills groups with strangers that he'll probably never see again hasn't helped in the past and that he really needed more social opportunities within school. Once I said this then they started thinking of other opportunities that they could work out. So far there is an informal lunch group (one that had been discontinued but started back up despite the counselor's wish). I'm hoping that they come up with some suggestions because the outside group during the school year is just not an option because it puts too much stress on my son.

Thanks for letting me vent. Overall this is a good school district but sometimes....SIGH. I disagree that what you've shared are signs of a good school district. Sounds like the multitude of others that just give the minimum or just a little less than. You need to request an IEE NOW!! Don't sign anything. Don't let them make you override your gut instincts. Your kid does need more social skills.

Caroline

October 19, 2010

Oh, I hate it when schools say the social area isn't their problem! We live in

a small town/city and not much offered for that here (at least back when my 21

y/o was in public school).

There's PE class. There's lunch. There is group/partner work in some classes,

grades, on papers/projects.... All sorts of " social " goes on during school

hours. And some of it involves their getting their education/learning!

Sounds like your son could also use some extra time allowed for doing his

homework, maybe an accommodation for that.

Sorry some of the *team* didn't sound very supportive! Keep us updated,

>

> I just came from a team meeting and need to vent. The school did an FBA on my

son and this meeting was to review it. The first thing that was said that most

of the behaviors observed were no longer an issue. Nothing like an out of date

report to base your child's plan - SIGH. It was a long meeting. The short of it

is that my son needs more social skills work. (DUH) They only provide him one

opportunity per week. The psychologist said that my son needs it 5x/wk Then the

October 19, 2010

Yes, I did receive the report prior to the meeting because I asked for it. My

thoughts were that we don't see these behaviors at home but maybe they do at

school because he's more anxious at school. And when one of the teachers

mentioned that my son didn't display these behaviors any more the psychologist

was flabbergasted that the spec ed folks hadn't mentioned that to her in the 2

weeks since she had issued the report.

You're right I've been slacking off a bit on pushing the school but now it's

time to be firm. I asked for a S & L eval so we could get an official foreign

language waiver last spring. When I asked the SLP today if she had done the

testing she admitted that she had not. This was the same woman who told me that

I should make my taking my son to outside social groups my #1 priority. I will

send a letter to the head of special ed to express my concerns. I will point out

that they are in now violation of the law since it has been far more than 30

school days when they rec'd my request for the eval. I know how to deal with a

school not providing services. I dealt with one for 4 yrs (mediation 3 out 4

yrs; and that's only because I was too naive the 1st yr) before I moved to my

current home.

October 19, 2010

Actually it is their isse.I encourage you to call your state PTI for guidance.-- Sent from my Palm PreOn Oct 19, 2010 16:14, Catcelia <c2cats@...> wrote:

I just came from a team meeting and need to vent. The school did an FBA on my son and this meeting was to review it. The first thing that was said that most of the behaviors observed were no longer an issue. Nothing like an out of date report to base your child's plan - SIGH. It was a long meeting. The short of it is that my son needs more social skills work. (DUH) They only provide him one opportunity per week. The psychologist said that my son needs it 5x/wk Then the school staff proceeded to tell me how it was my issue and not theirs. That I should make it my number one priority. (I felt like slapping the woman who said this.) And since there is no local help then I should be willing to travel to get this help for my son. When I asked how they expected my son to handle a lot of travel on a week day when he has so much homework (he stresses if he can't finish). Not to mention my son already has a lot of afterschool appointments related to his health issues and the fact that although I have flexibility in my schedule I do work full time. I also pointed out that having social skills groups with strangers that he'll probably never see again hasn't helped in the past and that he really needed more social opportunities within school. Once I said this then they started thinking of other opportunities that they could work out. So far there is an informal lunch group (one that had been discontinued but started back up despite the counselor's wish). I'm hoping that they come up with some suggestions because the outside group during the school year is just not an option because it puts too much stress on my son.

Thanks for letting me vent. Overall this is a good school district but sometimes....SIGH.

Caroline

October 21, 2010

The school is really throwing the problem back into your lap. They should provide more social skill help. The ST or school counselor should be giving him social skill help over a variety of situations and environments on a regular basis according to his needs. It is their problem. It's everyone's problem. They are required to provide this kind of help to him. The purpose of the IDEA is: <<(d)(1)(A) to ensure that all children with disabilities have available to them a free appropriate public education that emphasizes special education and related services designed to meet their unique needs and prepare them for further education, employment and independent living.>>

Note the last part where it discusses preparing him for further education, employment and independent living.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) School's attitude

I just came from a team meeting and need to vent. The school did an FBA on my son and this meeting was to review it. The first thing that was said that most of the behaviors observed were no longer an issue. Nothing like an out of date report to base your child's plan - SIGH. It was a long meeting. The short of it is that my son needs more social skills work. (DUH) They only provide him one opportunity per week. The psychologist said that my son needs it 5x/wk Then the school staff proceeded to tell me how it was my issue and not theirs. That I should make it my number one priority. (I felt like slapping the woman who said this.) And since there is no local help then I should be willing to travel to get this help for my son. When I asked how they expected my son to handle a lot of travel on a week day when he has so much homework (he stresses if he can't finish). Not to mention my son already has a lot of afterschool appointments related to his health issues and the fact that although I have flexibility in my schedule I do work full time. I also pointed out that having social skills groups with strangers that he'll probably never see again hasn't helped in the past and that he really needed more social opportunities within school. Once I said this then they started thinking of other opportunities that they could work out. So far there is an informal lunch group (one that had been discontinued but started back up despite the counselor's wish). I'm hoping that they come up with some suggestions because the outside group during the school year is just not an option because it puts too much stress on my son.

Thanks for letting me vent. Overall this is a good school district but sometimes....SIGH.

Caroline

October 22, 2010

I'm just new to the group and noticed this string so I am going to follow it. I feel for you with the school issue. For us the same thing, the school is throwing it all back in my lap since he "does well at school" (which is a lie becvause I have witnessed MANY things) anyways. I just wanted to sympathize with you and give you some support. So many of us deal with this.

Denel

mom to 5 year old Zachary who carries a menu of diagnoses =(

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of RoxannaSent: Thursday, October 21, 2010 10:18 PM Subject: Re: ( ) School's attitude

The school is really throwing the problem back into your lap. They should provide more social skill help. The ST or school counselor should be giving him social skill help over a variety of situations and environments on a regular basis according to his needs. It is their problem. It's everyone's problem. They are required to provide this kind of help to him. The purpose of the IDEA is: <<(d)(1)(A) to ensure that all children with disabilities have available to them a free appropriate public education that emphasizes special education and related services designed to meet their unique needs and prepare them for further education, employment and independent living.>> Note the last part where it discusses preparing him for further education, employment and independent living.

Roxanna"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) School's attitude

I just came from a team meeting and need to vent. The school did an FBA on my son and this meeting was to review it. The first thing that was said that most of the behaviors observed were no longer an issue. Nothing like an out of date report to base your child's plan - SIGH. It was a long meeting. The short of it is that my son needs more social skills work. (DUH) They only provide him one opportunity per week. The psychologist said that my son needs it 5x/wk Then the school staff proceeded to tell me how it was my issue and not theirs. That I should make it my number one priority. (I felt like slapping the woman who said this.) And since there is no local help then I should be willing to travel to get this help for my son. When I asked how they expected my son to handle a lot of travel on a week day when he has so much homework (he stresses if he can't finish). Not to mention my son already has a lot of afterschool appointments related to his health issues and the fact that although I have flexibility in my schedule I do work full time. I also pointed out that having social skills groups with strangers that he'll probably never see again hasn't helped in the past and that he really needed more social opportunities within school. Once I said this then they started thinking of other opportunities that they could work out. So far there is an informal lunch group (one that had been discontinued but started back up despite the counselor's wish). I'm hoping that they come up with some suggestions because the outside group during the school year is just not an option because it puts too much stress on my son.Thanks for letting me vent. Overall this is a good school district but sometimes....SIGH.Caroline

October 22, 2010

When I hear parents write this ditty that the school's throw it back in the parent's lap, I have to make a plea to parents to be documenting all the event's/incidents that you see and what your child tells you. Write them up and send them to the school so they become a part of your child's education record--otherwise it WILL be like it never happened.

On Fri, Oct 22, 2010 at 12:21 PM, Blessed Mom <blessedmom1305@...> wrote:

I'm just new to the group and noticed this string so I am going to follow it. I feel for you with the school issue. For us the same thing, the school is throwing it all back in my lap since he " does well at school " (which is a lie becvause I have witnessed MANY things) anyways. I just wanted to sympathize with you and give you some support. So many of us deal with this.

Denel

mom to 5 year old Zachary who carries a menu of diagnoses =(

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of RoxannaSent: Thursday, October 21, 2010 10:18 PM Subject: Re: ( ) School's attitude

The school is really throwing the problem back into your lap. They should provide more social skill help. The ST or school counselor should be giving him social skill help over a variety of situations and environments on a regular basis according to his needs. It is their problem. It's everyone's problem. They are required to provide this kind of help to him. The purpose of the IDEA is: <<(d)(1)(A) to ensure that all children with disabilities have available to them a free appropriate public education that emphasizes special education and related services designed to meet their unique needs and prepare them for further education, employment and independent living.>> Note the last part where it discusses preparing him for further education, employment and independent living.

Roxanna

" I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. " - Jefferson

( ) School's attitude

I just came from a team meeting and need to vent. The school did an FBA on my son and this meeting was to review it. The first thing that was said that most of the behaviors observed were no longer an issue. Nothing like an out of date report to base your child's plan - SIGH. It was a long meeting. The short of it is that my son needs more social skills work. (DUH) They only provide him one opportunity per week. The psychologist said that my son needs it 5x/wk Then the school staff proceeded to tell me how it was my issue and not theirs. That I should make it my number one priority. (I felt like slapping the woman who said this.) And since there is no local help then I should be willing to travel to get this help for my son. When I asked how they expected my son to handle a lot of travel on a week day when he has so much homework (he stresses if he can't finish). Not to mention my son already has a lot of afterschool appointments related to his health issues and the fact that although I have flexibility in my schedule I do work full time. I also pointed out that having social skills groups with strangers that he'll probably never see again hasn't helped in the past and that he really needed more social opportunities within school. Once I said this then they started thinking of other opportunities that they could work out. So far there is an informal lunch group (one that had been discontinued but started back up despite the counselor's wish). I'm hoping that they come up with some suggestions because the outside group during the school year is just not an option because it puts too much stress on my son.Thanks for letting me vent. Overall this is a good school district but sometimes....SIGH.Caroline

October 22, 2010

I am glad they are seeing a need for his social skills work. That is the area

aspergers kids suffer the most in. Now put it back on them to give it to him in

his IEP. For us the district doesn't see the aspergers behaviors or ignore to

see them.

>

> I'm just new to the group and noticed this string so I am going to follow

> it. I feel for you with the school issue. For us the same thing, the

> school is throwing it all back in my lap since he " does well at school "

> (which is a lie becvause I have witnessed MANY things) anyways. I just

> wanted to sympathize with you and give you some support. So many of us deal

> with this.

>

> Denel

> mom to 5 year old Zachary who carries a menu of diagnoses =(

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Roxanna

> Sent: Thursday, October 21, 2010 10:18 PM

>

> Subject: Re: ( ) School's attitude

>

> The school is really throwing the problem back into your lap. They should

> provide more social skill help. The ST or school counselor should be giving

> him social skill help over a variety of situations and environments on a

> regular basis according to his needs. It is their problem. It's everyone's

> problem. They are required to provide this kind of help to him. The

> purpose of the IDEA is: <<(d)(1)(A)

> <http://%28d%29%281%29%28A%29%20to%20ensure%20that%20all%20children%20with%2

> 0disabilities%20have%20available%20to%20them%20a%20free%20appropriate%20publ

> ic%20education%20that%20emphasizes%20special%20education%20and%20related%20s

> ervices%20designed%20to%20meet%20their%20unique%20needs%20and%20prepare%20th

> em%20for%20further%20education,%20employment%20and%20independent%20living.>

> to ensure that all children with disabilities have available to them a free

> appropriate public education that emphasizes special education and related

> services designed to meet their unique needs and prepare them for further

> education, employment and independent living.>>

>

> Note the last part where it discusses preparing him for further education,

> employment and independent living.

>

> Roxanna

> " I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government

> from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of

> them. " - Jefferson

>

> ( ) School's attitude

>

> I just came from a team meeting and need to vent. The school did an FBA on

> my son and this meeting was to review it. The first thing that was said that

> most of the behaviors observed were no longer an issue. Nothing like an out

> of date report to base your child's plan - SIGH. It was a long meeting. The

> short of it is that my son needs more social skills work. (DUH) They only

> provide him one opportunity per week. The psychologist said that my son

> needs it 5x/wk Then the school staff proceeded to tell me how it was my

> issue and not theirs. That I should make it my number one priority. (I felt

> like slapping the woman who said this.) And since there is no local help

> then I should be willing to travel to get this help for my son. When I asked

> how they expected my son to handle a lot of travel on a week day when he has

> so much homework (he stresses if he can't finish). Not to mention my son

> already has a lot of afterschool appointments related to his health issues

> and the fact that although I have flexibility in my schedule I do work full

> time. I also pointed out that having social skills groups with strangers

> that he'll probably never see again hasn't helped in the past and that he

> really needed more social opportunities within school. Once I said this then

> they started thinking of other opportunities that they could work out. So

> far there is an informal lunch group (one that had been discontinued but

> started back up despite the counselor's wish). I'm hoping that they come up

> with some suggestions because the outside group during the school year is

> just not an option because it puts too much stress on my son.

>

> Thanks for letting me vent. Overall this is a good school district but

> sometimes....SIGH.

>

> Caroline

>

October 26, 2010

One important thing to remember is that you can accumulate data as well as anyone else. When the school says things are great at school and you know this is not true, you can and should document what is going on. Dates, times, episodes, events, comments, etc. All of this accumulates to paint a larger picture. Then when the school staff say, "He's doing great" or "we never see that problem" - you can whip out your data and say, "Well, on this date, this happened...then on this day, we dealt with this...." and so on.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) School's attitude

I just came from a team meeting and need to vent. The school did an FBA on my son and this meeting was to review it. The first thing that was said that most of the behaviors observed were no longer an issue. Nothing like an out of date report to base your child's plan - SIGH. It was a long meeting. The short of it is that my son needs more social skills work. (DUH) They only provide him one opportunity per week. The psychologist said that my son needs it 5x/wk Then the school staff proceeded to tell me how it was my issue and not theirs. That I should make it my number one priority. (I felt like slapping the woman who said this.) And since there is no local help then I should be willing to travel to get this help for my son. When I asked how they expected my son to handle a lot of travel on a week day when he has so much homework (he stresses if he can't finish). Not to mention my son already has a lot of afterschool appointments related to his health issues and the fact that although I have flexibility in my schedule I do work full time. I also pointed out that having social skills groups with strangers that he'll probably never see again hasn't helped in the past and that he really needed more social opportunities within school. Once I said this then they started thinking of other opportunities that they could work out. So far there is an informal lunch group (one that had been discontinued but started back up despite the counselor's wish). I'm hoping that they come up with some suggestions because the outside group during the school year is just not an option because it puts too much stress on my son.

Thanks for letting me vent. Overall this is a good school district but sometimes....SIGH.

Caroline

December 9, 2010

I have documented it, but not sent it into

the school. I didn’t realize if you did that it would be part of

the record, I assumed they would just ignore it as parent issue again.

Thank you for this advice!

Denel

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of

Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010

1:43 PM

Subject: Re: ( )

School's attitude

When I hear parents write this ditty that the school's

throw it back in the parent's lap, I have to make a plea to parents to be

documenting all the event's/incidents that you see and what your child tells

you. Write them up and send them to the school so they become a part of your

child's education record--otherwise it WILL be like it never happened.

On Fri, Oct 22, 2010 at 12:21 PM, Blessed Mom <blessedmom1305@...>

wrote:

I'm just new to the group

and noticed this string so I am going to follow it. I feel for you with the

school issue. For us the same thing, the school is throwing it all back in my

lap since he " does well at school " (which is a lie becvause I have

witnessed MANY things) anyways. I just wanted to sympathize with you and give

you some support. So many of us deal with this.

Denel

mom to 5 year old Zachary

who carries a menu of diagnoses =(

From: [mailto: ]

On Behalf Of Roxanna

Sent: Thursday, October 21, 2010

10:18 PM

Subject: Re: ( )

School's attitude

The school is

really throwing the problem back into your lap. They should provide more social

skill help. The ST or school counselor should be giving him social skill help

over a variety of situations and environments on a regular basis according to

his needs. It is their problem. It's everyone's problem. They are required to

provide this kind of help to him. The purpose of the IDEA is: <<(d)(1)(A) to ensure that all children with disabilities have

available to them a free appropriate public education that emphasizes special

education and related services designed to meet their unique needs and prepare

them for further education, employment and independent living.>>

Note the last part where it discusses preparing him for further education,

employment and independent living.

Roxanna

" I predict future happiness for

Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the

people under the pretense of taking care of them. " - Jefferson

( ) School's attitude

I just came from a team meeting and need to vent. The school did

an FBA on my son and this meeting was to review it. The first thing that was

said that most of the behaviors observed were no longer an issue. Nothing like

an out of date report to base your child's plan - SIGH. It was a long meeting.

The short of it is that my son needs more social skills work. (DUH) They only

provide him one opportunity per week. The psychologist said that my son needs

it 5x/wk Then the school staff proceeded to tell me how it was my issue and not

theirs. That I should make it my number one priority. (I felt like slapping the

woman who said this.) And since there is no local help then I should be willing

to travel to get this help for my son. When I asked how they expected my son to

handle a lot of travel on a week day when he has so much homework (he stresses

if he can't finish). Not to mention my son already has a lot of afterschool

appointments related to his health issues and the fact that although I have

flexibility in my schedule I do work full time. I also pointed out that having

social skills groups with strangers that he'll probably never see again hasn't helped

in the past and that he really needed more social opportunities within school.

Once I said this then they started thinking of other opportunities that they

could work out. So far there is an informal lunch group (one that had been

discontinued but started back up despite the counselor's wish). I'm hoping that

they come up with some suggestions because the outside group during the school

year is just not an option because it puts too much stress on my son.

Thanks for letting me vent. Overall this is a good school district but

sometimes....SIGH.

Caroline

December 9, 2010

I’m getting a lot of (since he is so

intelligent) we are giving him FAPE and he is making effective progress.

No, he had that intelligence BEFORE he came to you and he is applying his

knowledge. They are ignoring the behaviors socially/emotionally.

His recent CBAT hospitalization they noticed that he does not interact, he

copies and mimics. He has no social skills and is very awkward. Ya

think? I have been saying this all along and the school sees him “socially”

ok yeah well they aren’t; looking at HOW he is interacting. He doesn’t

make eye contact, except to literally “watch” for how to act.

It’s not reciprocal, its copying. He has no indelendant play skills

AT all and all he does (since 5 months) is smash, bang, throw toys making ow

ooh ahh crash sounds. NO words are used in play except maybe a

handful. The scene never changes, the stories don’t come out.

Does this sound Aspergers to you?

His therapist says he is clealy Aspergers, but his age is holding him back from

the DX. I’m exhasperated!

Denel

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Michele

Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010

6:15 PM

Subject: Re: ( )

School's attitude

I am glad they are seeing a need for his social skills work. That is the area

aspergers kids suffer the most in. Now put it back on them to give it to him in

his IEP. For us the district doesn't see the aspergers behaviors or ignore to

see them.

>

> I'm just new to the group and noticed this string so I am going to follow

> it. I feel for you with the school issue. For us the same thing, the

> school is throwing it all back in my lap since he " does well at

school "

> (which is a lie becvause I have witnessed MANY things) anyways. I just

> wanted to sympathize with you and give you some support. So many of us

deal

> with this.

>

> Denel

> mom to 5 year old Zachary who carries a menu of diagnoses =(

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ]

On Behalf Of Roxanna

> Sent: Thursday, October 21, 2010 10:18 PM

>

> Subject: Re: ( ) School's attitude

>

> The school is really throwing the problem back into your lap. They should

> provide more social skill help. The ST or school counselor should be

giving

> him social skill help over a variety of situations and environments on a

> regular basis according to his needs. It is their problem. It's everyone's

> problem. They are required to provide this kind of help to him. The

> purpose of the IDEA is: <<(d)(1)(A)

> <http://%28d%29%281%29%28A%29%20to%20ensure%20that%20all%20children%20with%2

>

0disabilities%20have%20available%20to%20them%20a%20free%20appropriate%20publ

> ic%20education%20that%20emphasizes%20special%20education%20and%20related%20s

>

ervices%20designed%20to%20meet%20their%20unique%20needs%20and%20prepare%20th

>

em%20for%20further%20education,%20employment%20and%20independent%20living.>

> to ensure that all children with disabilities have available to them a

free

> appropriate public education that emphasizes special education and related

> services designed to meet their unique needs and prepare them for further

> education, employment and independent living.>>

>

> Note the last part where it discusses preparing him for further education,

> employment and independent living.

>

> Roxanna

> " I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the

government

> from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of

> them. " - Jefferson

>

> ( ) School's attitude

>

> I just came from a team meeting and need to vent. The school did an FBA on

> my son and this meeting was to review it. The first thing that was said

that

> most of the behaviors observed were no longer an issue. Nothing like an

out

> of date report to base your child's plan - SIGH. It was a long meeting.

The

> short of it is that my son needs more social skills work. (DUH) They only

> provide him one opportunity per week. The psychologist said that my son

> needs it 5x/wk Then the school staff proceeded to tell me how it was my

> issue and not theirs. That I should make it my number one priority. (I

felt

> like slapping the woman who said this.) And since there is no local help

> then I should be willing to travel to get this help for my son. When I

asked

> how they expected my son to handle a lot of travel on a week day when he

has

> so much homework (he stresses if he can't finish). Not to mention my son

> already has a lot of afterschool appointments related to his health issues

> and the fact that although I have flexibility in my schedule I do work

full

> time. I also pointed out that having social skills groups with strangers

> that he'll probably never see again hasn't helped in the past and that he

> really needed more social opportunities within school. Once I said this

then

> they started thinking of other opportunities that they could work out. So

> far there is an informal lunch group (one that had been discontinued but

> started back up despite the counselor's wish). I'm hoping that they come

up

> with some suggestions because the outside group during the school year is

> just not an option because it puts too much stress on my son.

>

> Thanks for letting me vent. Overall this is a good school district but

> sometimes....SIGH.

>

> Caroline

>

December 9, 2010

ALSO, send the email capturing any interaction of problem and at the end of the email write: " Request a copy of this correspondence be placed in 's education record. "

On Thu, Dec 9, 2010 at 9:58 AM, ~ Blessed Mom ~ <blessedmom1305@...> wrote: