Re: self absorbed behaviors replace anxiety

[Guest guest]

I have 2 friends dealing with this. One is her daughter and one is her husband. they have no natural sense of time. the need alarms to keep reminding them of things all day long.From: Pamela <susanonderko@...>Subject: ( ) self absorbed behaviors replace anxiety Date: Friday, May 21, 2010, 8:14 AM

Now that my daughter's anxiety and obsessions are better under control what I see is that she is still very slow and self absorbed in

meaningless tasks, especailly when she is more tired.

When I send her in to take her shower she often now sits

on the floor and plays with something she has brought in until

I come in and direct her to get into the shower. I will

have to stay in the bathroom and tell her to hurry up

and wash up otherwise she may stand in the shower and

sing for 30 minutes or more.

I still find that I have to be like an aide and direct

each moves or else she just gets interested in something

and doesn't move. If she goes upstairs to fix her hair

and I don't go up after her she may get distracted and

instead of something taking 5 minutes she can be up there

for 30 minutes if I didn't follow-up.

She is 12 years old does have attentional issues and slow

processing speed. She is very smart in reasoning skills

and has lots of ideas. From little she was very slow

but also anxious. I always thought anxiety alone was

the problem with her not staying on tasks.

Have many of you also seen this type of behavior?

Pam

[Guest guest]

What a great idea Melody. I read Temple's book too and I thought

there were many really good suggestions but I didn't have an

idea how to implement them. My daughter is so oppostional to any

changes in her thinking that I think this kind of practice would

help her too rather than trying to address it in the moment.

Pam

>

> Hi pam-

>

> I have noticed this behavior in megan too and like your daughter, she moves

> thru the world slowly. In some cases, I know it is about her compulsions,

> but not always. this morning she took an extra 7 minutes getting ready

> because she dropped toothpaste on her under shirt and she was trying to

> clean it. I recently read temple grandin's book unwritten rules of social

> relationships. The book talks about the importance of learning to

> prioritize and flexible thinking. it struck me these factors might

> contribute to her delay today. so later when she is in a receptive

> mood-usually over dinner, I will play a priority game with her, where I will

> offer her 3 or 4 things to place into order of priority and discuss the

> outcome of her choices, which may lead to re-prioritizing. It can be just

> as useful and seem more game like if let her start off giving me 3-4 things

> to prioritize and let her critique my choices. This is a new approach I

> am trying with her and am hoping will ultimately lead to a reminder word

> which is defined in her mind as playful, so if she is sidetracked, I can

> mention the word, we will both smile and hopefully move on. I am thinking

> since she likes birds, i may give 3-4 things a momma bird may do on the way

> to feed her waiting babies, so the reminder word may be " baby birds

> waiting " . The momma bird's to do list will evolve to more human actions as

> we take turns. Having said all this, I realize I cannot change her speed,

> even when on task, she just moves slow.

>

>

>

> Good luck pam

>

> Regards, melody

>