son, age 12 going back to early childhood meltdowns

[Guest guest]

Ds (12) has AS. Was dxd at age 9. We've known since early childhood. He used

to have meltdowns 3-4 x/day (around age 4-5). Then, he started taking buspar

and it went to 3-4 meltdowns a month.

Anyway, since then, DS has been quite stable, minus Aspie type behaviors and of

course, occasional meltdowns, and usually the behaviors during the meltdowns

were yelling and being " stuck, " not anything destructive.

This school year, however, he started 6th grade, a new middle school, a MUCH

earlier bus ride, etc. The meltdowns increased in nature and in frequency right

about the week before school started. And, they have continued on. I would say

that out of 7 days, he has at least 5 meltdowns, mostly including yelling

(screaming a high pitch), and throwing things. Occasionally, he attacks Dad or

brother.

The triggers are most often being asked to take a shower, or being asked to do

homework.

I am desperate for ideas. I have asked his dr (a developmental pediatrician

who's known him since he was 5) and he said he'd consult with the psychiatrist

who works with him and get back to me (that was last Tuesday).

DS currently takes Prozac, 2 tablets (10 mg each) in the morning and 1 tab (10

mg) @ 3 PM along with Fish Oil (DHA from Nordic Naturals). He also takes

singulair and allegra for allergies and asthma. And, Asmenex inhaler.

We are very careful about DS's schedule, not " springing " things on him. He

knows about the shower at least 1 day in advance, and really only takes them 1-2

times per week after all the meltdowns take up pretty much the whole evening.

He's also not getting enough sleep! He just stims or whatever and won't get

ready for bed. He knows it's important to get enough sleep and has to wake up

@6 AM for the bus, so HE decided that he should go to bed @ 8:30. He's rarely

there before 9:30 and some nights, 10 or 10:30.

I know school is a huge stressor, but of course, the school doesn't see this.

He is, however, on an IEP. We have his three year re-eval and subsequent IEP

meeting this Thursday.

As for the shower, yesterday was " shower day " and he did not complete the

shower. So, today I told him I wanted him to take a shower in the afternoon (I

know, it's not the usual), but he agreed. Then, I said " 4PM " which he obviously

didn't process, b/c at 4:55 when I reminded him it needed to be done before

supper (@ 5:30), he said I never said 4:00 and that he was in the middle of

watching a TV episode. I told him, " OK, I'll serve you supper after your

shower. " We'll eat in about 1/2 hour. At this point, it's 7:00 pm and he

hasn't taken a shower, and is laying on the couch crying, saying he's starving.

I've told him countless times that I'd be glad to serve him supper after his

shower. During supper, he was in the living room (connected to our

dining/kitchen) screaming at the top of his lungs, and then threw things at Dad.

Then, later, after I escorted him to his room (he let me, actually), he came

out, retrieved items from his brother's room (such as basketballs) and threw

them down the hall. He even attacked Dad, pulling his shirt and screaming.

Now, he's saying he needs food to survive, and he doesn't need a shower to

survive.

Help!! I'm at my wit's end, although deep breathing helps. It's just so hard

when it interferes with the well being (and getting to sleep) of my other kids.

Thanks.