Chores and Rewards

[Guest guest]

I was reading the conversation on here regarding how to get our kids to

do chores and whether they should be paid (rewarded) or do it because

they are part of the family and some things are just done because of

that.

I wanted to add a thought to this discussion. I do not feel that this

is an " either or " situation. Of course, ideally, we want our kids to

do what they need to do whether they get rewarded or not. This is our

goal and as adults, we often do things whether we get rewarded or not

just because it needs doing. But as we also know, our kids are kids

and they also have different levels of abilities. Therefore, we often

need to scaffold the process.

Just like the goals and objectives we make at the school, these kinds

of skills are things we can design goals for and provide positive

rewards as they progress and meet with success. Also, what we reward

today does not have to be something we " always " reward forever. We

should fade our help and fade rewards as they meet with success.

Intermittent reward is the best kind - giving a reward once in a while.

And rewarding might have to be constant at first as the skill is

taught and learned, but once it is mastered, it is ok to switch over to

intermittent reward/praise and to move on to a new skill to

learn/teach.

Within the schools, we expect new skills to first be taught. As they

0Aare being taught and learned, we expect to see a lot of incentive

provided and rewards at certain points, to keep motivation going. But

as the skill is mastered, we cue less, we reward less often and/or

expect more for that reward. I sort of see this " learning to do chores

at home " as the same kind of situation. If your child can do nothing

on their own, you will probably be thinking of ways to reward and cue

them. If your child is more independent or has learned these skills,

you provide less oversight, less cuing and rewards are less often or

not given (except gratitude for working hard and being a great kid!)

I just wanted to add that because there were a lot of people who were

on one side of this or the other. And I really see it as something

that you start off with one side and move to the other as your child

learns and progresses.

 Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke