re: son depressed, im depressed

[Guest guest]

I havent read all the messages on this topic, but my son went through a really

tough time, when he was bullied and teased at school. And my son had a breakdown

and had to be admitted to hospital. The violent meltdowns were awful, he still

breaks things sometimes. I try to get my son punching a punching bag or pillow

and this helps, breathing exercises, etc. Then once he calms down you can get

him to talk about things. My son is a really lovely kid and bottled things up

until he go home, I really hope things get better for your son

[Guest guest]

Oh Janice, i have just read more posts and i can really relate to what your son

is going through. My son's grandmother passed away and a kid at school kept

picking on him saying " You're mum could die any minute " which really fed my

son's anxiety. Its hard and you have to keep your cool around your son. I know

thats easier said than done. God i used to get so angry. I had to really work at

keeping cool, calm and collected. You might have to get the police involved

before its gets any worse...please hang in there

[Guest guest]

My son must bottle things up too! His teachers have told me this year that he is SWEET, KIND and POLITE! Wow! He even thanked his Support Teacher for helping his to get to class and helping him with his work...and she told him...that my job....it is what I am suppose to do...maybe my son never had such great teachers.

So he is holding it together when in school...it is when he is home. And, when he is angry you really can't talk to him at all. Everything escalates so quickly...

This whole deal was one of the worst...I might have overstepped my bounds by yelling at my son to get the "blank" off the phone. But I think I was near a nervous breakdown...and still close to it...His ex-b.f. heard me and at that point I wanted that kid to hear me. I wanted him to know that I was well aware of what he was doing to my son and I didn't like it. My son blames me and doesn't see how the kid was being cruel to my son. Maybe one day he will understand...he doesn't now.

thanks for the support....

jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Sharron <sharron.crockett@...>Subject: ( ) re: son depressed, im depressed Date: Saturday, September 26, 2009, 1:22 AM

I havent read all the messages on this topic, but my son went through a really tough time, when he was bullied and teased at school. And my son had a breakdown and had to be admitted to hospital. The violent meltdowns were awful, he still breaks things sometimes. I try to get my son punching a punching bag or pillow and this helps, breathing exercises, etc. Then once he calms down you can get him to talk about things. My son is a really lovely kid and bottled things up until he go home, I really hope things get better for your son

[Guest guest]

Jan,Mack,17, holds it together at school & explodes at home, too! This is very typical AS behavior, but knowing that doesn't make things any easier at home. He is angry, yelling, slamming doors. At leSt the aggression toward us has decreased. I think that is because we have backed off at home. We do require that he complete chores & eat dinner with the family. As for schoolwork we have stopped battling him at home. His IEP was yesterday & they suggested a schedule at home. My husband asked Mack if he had a schedule at home & where it is. Mack told the IEP that it was on the refrigerator. Then my husband asked him if he follows it & Mack told them "no'". We quit fighting to make him follow it because he becomes violent. My husband told them that we can lead the horse to water, but can't make him drink! They told us that next year in English 2, he will have term papers & he keeps losing his flash drive. I suggested that the Resource teacher keep it since it is very unlikely that he is going to work on them at home. We'll see. We have a very good relationship with the resource teacher & communicate by email at least weekly, so he usually takes our suggestions or comes up with an even better one! The team suggested that Mack might need an extra year to finish high school. I found that humorous because I suggested at the beginning of his fresman year last year that we plan a six-year schedule for & no one wanted to do it. Now they are seeing why I wanted that. He can't handle more than two core academic subjects a semester. So we'll see how things go!Sent from my iPhoneBlessings, DonnaOn Sep 26, 2009, at 11:02 AM, rushen janice <jrushen@...> wrote:

My son must bottle things up too! His teachers have told me this year that he is SWEET, KIND and POLITE! Wow! He even thanked his Support Teacher for helping his to get to class and helping him with his work...and she told him...that my job....it is what I am suppose to do...maybe my son never had such great teachers.

So he is holding it together when in school...it is when he is home. And, when he is angry you really can't talk to him at all. Everything escalates so quickly...

This whole deal was one of the worst...I might have overstepped my bounds by yelling at my son to get the "blank" off the phone. But I think I was near a nervous breakdown...and still close to it...His ex-b.f. heard me and at that point I wanted that kid to hear me. I wanted him to know that I was well aware of what he was doing to my son and I didn't like it. My son blames me and doesn't see how the kid was being cruel to my son. Maybe one day he will understand...he doesn't now.

thanks for the support....

jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Sharron <sharron.crockett .au>Subject: ( ) re: son depressed, im depressed Date: Saturday, September 26, 2009, 1:22 AM

I havent read all the messages on this topic, but my son went through a really tough time, when he was bullied and teased at school. And my son had a breakdown and had to be admitted to hospital. The violent meltdowns were awful, he still breaks things sometimes. I try to get my son punching a punching bag or pillow and this helps, breathing exercises, etc. Then once he calms down you can get him to talk about things. My son is a really lovely kid and bottled things up until he go home, I really hope things get better for your son

[Guest guest]

Donna,

It is nice to know I am not alone...not that I want anyone else to go thru what I am....but it does comfort me to know it is part of being Aspie. it is amazing that our children are so much a like and none of them know each other ...it still amzes me.

We decided to do this too this year...we are not pushing him at home...and let me tell you ...it makes a big difference. I ususally let him come home...don't even greet him at the door and wait for him to talk first. If I ask questions,,,he flips. He had a lab project to do and he did a lot of it in school....but he asked me to type it. I did. He is in inclusion classes this year and he stays 1/2 hour more so he can ride a small bus without missing school time. It makes a long day for him but he usually does his math homework in there. He goes to the conference room by the Assistant Principal and she usually checks in on him. Then a monitor walks with his across the court yard to the intermediate school and gets the smaller bus there.

Thank you for posting...it makes me feel a little better knowing someone else's son is like mine...I know that sounds horrible...but I don't mean it in that sense...it is just comforting to know it truly is part of AS and not not that he is spoiled, or rotten or just mean. It helps talking about it with someone who knows. When I spoke to my friends ...they tell me..."oh, we are all going thru this..it is teenage years" or "you need to be firm with him" ...they JUST DONT GET IT....because it is not just the teenage years and they are not going through what we are.....so I don't mention my problems to people...because they think I am just to easy on him...or I spoiled him when he was young. They will NEVER understand!

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Sharron <sharron.crockett . au>Subject: ( ) re: son depressed, im depressed Date: Saturday, September 26, 2009, 1:22 AM

I havent read all the messages on this topic, but my son went through a really tough time, when he was bullied and teased at school. And my son had a breakdown and had to be admitted to hospital. The violent meltdowns were awful, he still breaks things sometimes. I try to get my son punching a punching bag or pillow and this helps, breathing exercises, etc. Then once he calms down you can get him to talk about things. My son is a really lovely kid and bottled things up until he go home, I really hope things get better for your son

[Guest guest]

Jan,I don't talk to my son until he speaks first either. He is much mote pleasant that way!I would have your son checked for bipolar. My son is bipolar, as well as AS. I think that the behavior cones from a combination of the two. I get the "teenage" years, too! Even from my mother. My 89 year old mother-in-law is more understanding. Maybe it is because she raised 5 boys!!! Mack is my youngest child - 3 sons & 1 daughter. All 3 of the boys have disabilities. So I have been through teenage years & know thus is not just teenage years. I tell them that it is teenage times 1000! People who don't live it, can't believe it. That's why we find support online. Sent from my iPhoneBlessings, DonnaOn Sep 26, 2009, at 5:19 PM, rushen janice <jrushen@...> wrote:

Donna,

It is nice to know I am not alone...not that I want anyone else to go thru what I am....but it does comfort me to know it is part of being Aspie. it is amazing that our children are so much a like and none of them know each other ...it still amzes me.

We decided to do this too this year...we are not pushing him at home...and let me tell you ...it makes a big difference. I ususally let him come home...don't even greet him at the door and wait for him to talk first. If I ask questions,,,he flips. He had a lab project to do and he did a lot of it in school....but he asked me to type it. I did. He is in inclusion classes this year and he stays 1/2 hour more so he can ride a small bus without missing school time. It makes a long day for him but he usually does his math homework in there. He goes to the conference room by the Assistant Principal and she usually checks in on him. Then a monitor walks with his across the court yard to the intermediate school and gets the smaller bus there.

Thank you for posting...it makes me feel a little better knowing someone else's son is like mine...I know that sounds horrible...but I don't mean it in that sense...it is just comforting to know it truly is part of AS and not not that he is spoiled, or rotten or just mean. It helps talking about it with someone who knows. When I spoke to my friends ...they tell me..."oh, we are all going thru this..it is teenage years" or "you need to be firm with him" ...they JUST DONT GET IT....because it is not just the teenage years and they are not going through what we are.....so I don't mention my problems to people...because they think I am just to easy on him...or I spoiled him when he was young. They will NEVER understand!

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Sharron <sharron.crockett . au>Subject: ( ) re: son depressed, im depressed Date: Saturday, September 26, 2009, 1:22 AM

I havent read all the messages on this topic, but my son went through a really tough time, when he was bullied and teased at school. And my son had a breakdown and had to be admitted to hospital. The violent meltdowns were awful, he still breaks things sometimes. I try to get my son punching a punching bag or pillow and this helps, breathing exercises, etc. Then once he calms down you can get him to talk about things. My son is a really lovely kid and bottled things up until he go home, I really hope things get better for your son