RE: Is lying common amongst Aspie kids?

[Guest guest]

my husband is an aspie and he tell little fibs a lot. Nothing major but he will always fib if it avoids a lecture. He hates being looked at like he did something wrong so he will argue and fib to make himself right.From: Notarnicola <mikejn1@...>Subject: ( ) Is lying common amongst Aspie kids? Date: Tuesday, May 18, 2010, 10:00 AM

Hi,

Something that we notice our son doing is lying. The interesting part is that he is terrible at it.. So when he says something I have a hard time believing what he said. This is classic example, he got in trouble at school for calling a girl the "B" word. He got sent to the principal and got a signature in his assignment book. So I shot a note to the principal asking what happened and he told me. Then I asked my son and I played dumb about it. he basically to me that he was talking to the girl and had an "itch" and thats what she heard.. This is almost a daily thing with him.. Either he is lying or he has an excuse for everything.. The excuses are pretty lame as well..

I am just not sure if this is a trait or something else going on. All I know is it is getting pretty frustrating. When ever I talk to him I have to weed thru the excuses and lies to get to the bottom of things...

Mike

[Guest guest]

I'm not sure if lying is a common trait among aspie's, but I do know that my son

lies constantly. He makes up excuse for ANY bad behavior. Everything is always

someone else's fault. It drives me a bit crazy. Sometimes I really think that he

believes his lies and he even screams at the top of his lungs (which is totally

out of character for him). Not sure what to do about it, I won't let him get

away with lying, but I hate to stress him out. Sounds like we are having the

same difficulties!

[Guest guest]

No advice but I've been having a lot of trouble with the " an excuse for

everything " with my son too... He NEVER takes responsibility for anything. If

he trips, it's " something's " fault. If he gets in a disagreement with his

brother, of course it's his brother's fault. He uses his words and his brother

uses his muscles... So he tries to say " I just said .... " It's often something

like stupid and then he wonders why his brother loses it at him! It is so

annoying that he can't just say " I messed up. " He forgets to do stuff and

instead of saying so he will say something basically blaming me as to why it

didn't get done. He's 12 btw.

Sorry for the vent.

Blessings,

Charlene

dh Troy

dss Connor (12) and (10)

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www.themiracleofthemoment.blogspot.com

>

>

> Hi,

>

> Something that we notice our son doing is lying. The interesting part is that

he is terrible at it.. So when he says something I have a hard time believing

what he said. This is classic example, he got in trouble at school for calling a

girl the " B " word. He got sent to the principal and got a signature in his

assignment book. So I shot a note to the principal asking what happened and he

told me. Then I asked my son and I played dumb about it. he basically to me that

he was talking to the girl and had an " itch " and thats what she heard.. This is

almost a daily thing with him.. Either he is lying or he has an excuse for

everything.. The excuses are pretty lame as well..

>

> I am just not sure if this is a trait or something else going on. All I know

is it is getting pretty frustrating. When ever I talk to him I have to weed thru

the excuses and lies to get to the bottom of things...

>

>

> Mike

>

[Guest guest]

My child NEVER "gets" that it is her fault. It has been consistently this way since 5 years old. On May 19, 2010, at 7:42 AM, smmbcw wrote:

I'm not sure if lying is a common trait among aspie's, but I do know that my son lies constantly. He makes up excuse for ANY bad behavior. Everything is always someone else's fault. It drives me a bit crazy. Sometimes I really think that he believes his lies and he even screams at the top of his lungs (which is totally out of character for him). Not sure what to do about it, I won't let him get away with lying, but I hate to stress him out. Sounds like we are having the same difficulties!

[Guest guest]

Mine does! My Aspie will lie about a question even if it is not one he will get

in trouble for. Usually I just get, " I don't remember " even if it happened two

seconds ago. Nothing too elaborate. Not sure what advise to give. I would be

interested in any replies you get.

>

>

> Hi,

>

> Something that we notice our son doing is lying. The interesting part is that

he is terrible at it.. So when he says something I have a hard time believing

what he said. This is classic example, he got in trouble at school for calling a

girl the " B " word. He got sent to the principal and got a signature in his

assignment book. So I shot a note to the principal asking what happened and he

told me. Then I asked my son and I played dumb about it. he basically to me that

he was talking to the girl and had an " itch " and thats what she heard.. This is

almost a daily thing with him.. Either he is lying or he has an excuse for

everything.. The excuses are pretty lame as well..

>

> I am just not sure if this is a trait or something else going on. All I know

is it is getting pretty frustrating. When ever I talk to him I have to weed thru

the excuses and lies to get to the bottom of things...

>

>

> Mike

>

[Guest guest]

mine does too. Even if he isnt in trouble! So I have to tell him he isnt gonne be in trouble, and that he can be honest with me.... then he tells me the truth. I think they feel inferior from the day at school, and just feel tired of it all. They are used to being bullied and are fed up and don't comprehend any question and have to have it explained that the correct answer is the RIGHT answer.

From: jm.smoldt <jm.smoldt@...> Sent: Wed, May 19, 2010 10:53:07 AMSubject: ( ) Re: Is lying common amongst Aspie kids?

Mine does! My Aspie will lie about a question even if it is not one he will get in trouble for. Usually I just get, "I don't remember" even if it happened two seconds ago. Nothing too elaborate. Not sure what advise to give. I would be interested in any replies you get.>> > Hi,> > Something that we notice our son doing is lying. The interesting part is that he is terrible at it.. So when he says something I have a hard time believing what he said. This is classic example, he got in trouble at school for calling a girl the "B" word. He got sent to the principal and got a signature in his assignment book. So I shot a note to the principal asking what happened and he told me. Then I asked my

son and I played dumb about it. he basically to me that he was talking to the girl and had an "itch" and thats what she heard.. This is almost a daily thing with him.. Either he is lying or he has an excuse for everything.. The excuses are pretty lame as well..> > I am just not sure if this is a trait or something else going on. All I know is it is getting pretty frustrating. When ever I talk to him I have to weed thru the excuses and lies to get to the bottom of things...> > > Mike>

[Guest guest]

For a long time, my daughter would actually tell on herself when she did something wrong. Now the first thing out of her mouth she lies. I think its because in the stressful moment she just says whatever. And then she gets even more scared because now she just lied. I think sometimes she believes her lies to because it will take her a long time of sitting and thinking sometimes to remember what really happened. On May 19, 2010, at 5:42 AM, smmbcw wrote:

I'm not sure if lying is a common trait among aspie's, but I do know that my son lies constantly. He makes up excuse for ANY bad behavior. Everything is always someone else's fault. It drives me a bit crazy. Sometimes I really think that he believes his lies and he even screams at the top of his lungs (which is totally out of character for him). Not sure what to do about it, I won't let him get away with lying, but I hate to stress him out. Sounds like we are having the same difficulties!

“Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” - Steve Jobs

[Guest guest]

Wow, I'm glad this thread was started. We are only relatively new to learning

about Aspergers and our son. One of the most confusing problems was that he

would tell us about " bad " things he did at school, we would of course freak

out...turns out he was having a problem as he put it being " too honest " and

would say he did things that he only imagined. It's almost as if thinking about

it or seeing it in his mind = actually doing it. Now at least we understand

that these bad behaviors didn't happen [a relief], but it still makes it quite

confusing to understand how his school day actually went because he still can't

quite articulate when/where/if certain things happened. He did experience

relief once we explained that the difference between " thinking " about stuff and

it actually occurring. And that he won't get in trouble for his thoughts. He

is six.

Does anyone have similar experiences?

---- Byrne <kabob@...> wrote:

> For a long time, my daughter would actually tell on herself when she did

something wrong. Now the first thing out of her mouth she lies. I think its

because in the stressful moment she just says whatever. And then she gets even

more scared because now she just lied. I think sometimes she believes her lies

to because it will take her a long time of sitting and thinking sometimes to

remember what really happened.

>

>

>

> On May 19, 2010, at 5:42 AM, smmbcw wrote:

>

> > I'm not sure if lying is a common trait among aspie's, but I do know that my

son lies constantly. He makes up excuse for ANY bad behavior. Everything is

always someone else's fault. It drives me a bit crazy. Sometimes I really think

that he believes his lies and he even screams at the top of his lungs (which is

totally out of character for him). Not sure what to do about it, I won't let him

get away with lying, but I hate to stress him out. Sounds like we are having the

same difficulties!

> >

> >

>

>

>

> “Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the

round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're

not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify

them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change

things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the

crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that

they can change the world, are the ones who do.†- Steve Jobs

>

>

[Guest guest]

How old is your son? My son went through a phase of doing this, but it's much

better now. He didn't figure out he COULD lie until he was maybe 8 or 9. He

wasn't good at it, but he began to understand people enough that he became aware

that we didn't all have the same things in our heads. He was still doing this

until he was about 12 but in the middle of 6th grade or so I started seeing a

decline in this and an increase in his ability to understand situations. It

isn't always lying to them. Sometimes it is that their perception is off. Many

typical kids will lie to get out of things and from what I read, it is common

for kids around age 9 to do it because they are leaving magical thinking and

starting to understand the real world more. This is scary so they sometimes

will say whatever it is that they wish was true. stayed stuck in magical

thinking much longer than his sister who started trying to lie at about age 2

and his still doing it now at age 10 to get out of things. She has always been

a lot more aware of other people than her brother.

Miriam

>

>

> Hi,

>

> Something that we notice our son doing is lying. The interesting part is that

he is terrible at it.. So when he says something I have a hard time believing

what he said. This is classic example, he got in trouble at school for calling a

girl the " B " word. He got sent to the principal and got a signature in his

assignment book. So I shot a note to the principal asking what happened and he

told me. Then I asked my son and I played dumb about it. he basically to me that

he was talking to the girl and had an " itch " and thats what she heard.. This is

almost a daily thing with him.. Either he is lying or he has an excuse for

everything.. The excuses are pretty lame as well..

>

> I am just not sure if this is a trait or something else going on. All I know

is it is getting pretty frustrating. When ever I talk to him I have to weed thru

the excuses and lies to get to the bottom of things...

>

>

> Mike

>

[Guest guest]

My 9 year old Aspie is honest, almost to a fault. Since kindergarten he has a

compulsion to confess. His teacher complained she couldn't get anything done,

because he was constantly going to her desk to tell her he had a bad thought or

did something wrong. He doesn't do it so much anymore, but he is still so very

honest. So far I know I can trust anything he tells me, whether it be at home

or something that may have happened at school. He is also OCD, so that might be

the reason for his confessing and honesty.

> >

> >

> > Hi,

> >

> > Something that we notice our son doing is lying. The interesting part is

that he is terrible at it.. So when he says something I have a hard time

believing what he said. This is classic example, he got in trouble at school for

calling a girl the " B " word. He got sent to the principal and got a signature in

his assignment book. So I shot a note to the principal asking what happened and

he told me. Then I asked my son and I played dumb about it. he basically to me

that he was talking to the girl and had an " itch " and thats what she heard..

This is almost a daily thing with him.. Either he is lying or he has an excuse

for everything.. The excuses are pretty lame as well..

> >

> > I am just not sure if this is a trait or something else going on. All I know

is it is getting pretty frustrating. When ever I talk to him I have to weed thru

the excuses and lies to get to the bottom of things...

> >

> >

> > Mike

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi my name is and Iam new here, But just recently my son's answer to

everything is " I don't know " , or he tells me something that was never said by

someone. I don't know where this is coming from.

> >

> >

> > Hi,

> >

> > Something that we notice our son doing is lying. The interesting part is

that he is terrible at it.. So when he says something I have a hard time

believing what he said. This is classic example, he got in trouble at school for

calling a girl the " B " word. He got sent to the principal and got a signature in

his assignment book. So I shot a note to the principal asking what happened and

he told me. Then I asked my son and I played dumb about it. he basically to me

that he was talking to the girl and had an " itch " and thats what she heard..

This is almost a daily thing with him.. Either he is lying or he has an excuse

for everything.. The excuses are pretty lame as well..

> >

> > I am just not sure if this is a trait or something else going on. All I know

is it is getting pretty frustrating. When ever I talk to him I have to weed thru

the excuses and lies to get to the bottom of things...

> >

> >

> > Mike

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My daughter does similar things. We just had to talk to her about not being able to trust her when she is not telling the truth. We are usually skeptical about what she says. But this happens with us a lot. But we really just had to make sure we were hitting home with the if you tell me something thats not true I can't trust what you say. If you tell us theres a fire, and there really is one we might not believe you and we could all get hurt. Stuff like that, slowly (its taken a long time) to get her to the point where she really tries to tell the truth. We also have told her that if she has done something she will be punished but if she lies the punishment is 10 times worse. Depending on the circumstance we've let it go and said, wow we are so proud that you told us the truth, there will be no punishment. Or if its really severe, we will tell her the punishment "if you did do this will be writing lines, but if you continue to deny this and lie you will get time out, no computer, and lines". That usually prompts her to tell the truth right away. We've also done the, please go have some quiet time for 5 minutes, think about what you want to say and come back and tell us the truth before shes even spoken a word. We will say, someone did ______________ could you please go to your room and think about whether that was you and come back and please tell us the truth. that works better than the giving her the punishment up front :-D With Caitlin is paralyzing fear that stops her from talking or making up a story. Also the calmer we stay the calmer she stays. Just a thought :-D B On May 19, 2010, at 4:51 PM, jeni wrote:

Hi my name is and Iam new here, But just recently my son's answer to everything is " I don't know", or he tells me something that was never said by someone. I don't know where this is coming from.

> >

> >

> > Hi,

> >

> > Something that we notice our son doing is lying. The interesting part is that he is terrible at it.. So when he says something I have a hard time believing what he said. This is classic example, he got in trouble at school for calling a girl the "B" word. He got sent to the principal and got a signature in his assignment book. So I shot a note to the principal asking what happened and he told me. Then I asked my son and I played dumb about it. he basically to me that he was talking to the girl and had an "itch" and thats what she heard.. This is almost a daily thing with him.. Either he is lying or he has an excuse for everything.. The excuses are pretty lame as well..

> >

> > I am just not sure if this is a trait or something else going on. All I know is it is getting pretty frustrating. When ever I talk to him I have to weed thru the excuses and lies to get to the bottom of things...

> >

> >

> > Mike

> >

>

“Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” - Steve Jobs

[Guest guest]

my aspie daughter tries to lie, but is horrible at it. From: cathychristiansen84@...Date: Tue, 18 May 2010 18:08:46 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) Is lying common amongst Aspie kids?

my husband is an aspie and he tell little fibs a lot. Nothing major but he will always fib if it avoids a lecture. He hates being looked at like he did something wrong so he will argue and fib to make himself right.From: Notarnicola <mikejn1suddenlink (DOT) net>Subject: ( ) Is lying common amongst Aspie kids? Date: Tuesday, May 18, 2010, 10:00 AM

Hi,

Something that we notice our son doing is lying. The interesting part is that he is terrible at it.. So when he says something I have a hard time believing what he said. This is classic example, he got in trouble at school for calling a girl the "B" word. He got sent to the principal and got a signature in his assignment book. So I shot a note to the principal asking what happened and he told me. Then I asked my son and I played dumb about it. he basically to me that he was talking to the girl and had an "itch" and thats what she heard.. This is almost a daily thing with him.. Either he is lying or he has an excuse for everything.. The excuses are pretty lame as well..

I am just not sure if this is a trait or something else going on. All I know is it is getting pretty frustrating. When ever I talk to him I have to weed thru the excuses and lies to get to the bottom of things...

Mike

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