Guest guest Posted February 8, 2011 Report Share Posted February 8, 2011 Jan, Wow, I'm so sorry this is happening. Things seemed to be going so good. Is your son on an IEP? This is serious but they can't just arbitrarily say it is not part of his AS. A manifestation determination has to be made in front of a hearing, not by one person alone. Sounds like you're doing all the right things. Taking his computer, seeing a therapist etc. I don't know what else to tell you to do. I would get a letter from your son's doctor saying that this type of behavior can be expected from him due to his AS because of his social skills deficits and lack impulse control. We had to do this one time when a teacher pushed my son in the hallway and he was accused of saying "Don't touch me b#*tch." Which he says he didn't say and he has never cussed before so we believed him. But even still, if it did happen, he doesn't like to be touched and we told them that. We got a letter from my son's dr and he got one day suspension instead of three. Yes, this is serious but it would be more so if your son was NT. Since he has AS he might not fully understand the severity of it all. Maybe speaking to a judge or officer might make him realize how serious it is. Has he ever gotten in a fight before or had any similar issue? I'm really sorry, don't know what else to say. I hope you all get through this ok and things get better again. Keep up posted and we are here for you! ne From: jan <jrushen@...>Subject: ( ) Son Suspended from School Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 6:17 PM Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2011 Report Share Posted February 8, 2011 Thanks ne....he got in troube with MySpace when he was in 6th grade....again saying things inappropriately...calling the girl "the school whore". And, you are so right ...it does have to do with AS. How could it not...it is part of who he is. I just broke down when I got there. The police resource officier was there and was angry with my son because he lied at first and then told the truth. He said he won't give my son any breaks from now on. I think a lot has to do with the fact this girl is really pretty and my son has low self-esteem so he probably can't believe he has her for a girlfriend. My son claims that she told him this kid won't stop bothering her. So, of course, my son takes it into his own hands. And, then they told me the girl came down and talk to the Asst. Principal because my son yells at her...which sounded like my son was a control freak and a controller. I am really sick over all this. "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: susanne hansen <s_hansen34@...> Sent: Tue, February 8, 2011 6:45:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School Jan, Wow, I'm so sorry this is happening. Things seemed to be going so good. Is your son on an IEP? This is serious but they can't just arbitrarily say it is not part of his AS. A manifestation determination has to be made in front of a hearing, not by one person alone. Sounds like you're doing all the right things. Taking his computer, seeing a therapist etc. I don't know what else to tell you to do. I would get a letter from your son's doctor saying that this type of behavior can be expected from him due to his AS because of his social skills deficits and lack impulse control. We had to do this one time when a teacher pushed my son in the hallway and he was accused of saying "Don't touch me b#*tch." Which he says he didn't say and he has never cussed before so we believed him. But even still, if it did happen, he doesn't like to be touched and we told them that. We got a letter from my son's dr and he got one day suspension instead of three. Yes, this is serious but it would be more so if your son was NT. Since he has AS he might not fully understand the severity of it all. Maybe speaking to a judge or officer might make him realize how serious it is. Has he ever gotten in a fight before or had any similar issue? I'm really sorry, don't know what else to say. I hope you all get through this ok and things get better again. Keep up posted and we are here for you! ne From: jan <jrushen@...>Subject: ( ) Son Suspended from School Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 6:17 PM Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2011 Report Share Posted February 8, 2011 Aw, geez, Jan. It is just a constant roller coaster with these kids, isn’t it? And, I know how sick at heart you are – been there, done that. Hugs, From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of rushen janice Sent: Tuesday, February 08, 2011 5:54 PM Subject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School Thanks ne....he got in troube with MySpace when he was in 6th grade....again saying things inappropriately...calling the girl " the school whore " . And, you are so right ...it does have to do with AS. How could it not...it is part of who he is. I just broke down when I got there. The police resource officier was there and was angry with my son because he lied at first and then told the truth. He said he won't give my son any breaks from now on. I think a lot has to do with the fact this girl is really pretty and my son has low self-esteem so he probably can't believe he has her for a girlfriend. My son claims that she told him this kid won't stop bothering her. So, of course, my son takes it into his own hands. And, then they told me the girl came down and talk to the Asst. Principal because my son yells at her...which sounded like my son was a control freak and a controller. I am really sick over all this. " In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity " Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: susanne hansen <s_hansen34@...> Sent: Tue, February 8, 2011 6:45:58 PM Subject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School Jan, Wow, I'm so sorry this is happening. Things seemed to be going so good. Is your son on an IEP? This is serious but they can't just arbitrarily say it is not part of his AS. A manifestation determination has to be made in front of a hearing, not by one person alone. Sounds like you're doing all the right things. Taking his computer, seeing a therapist etc. I don't know what else to tell you to do. I would get a letter from your son's doctor saying that this type of behavior can be expected from him due to his AS because of his social skills deficits and lack impulse control. We had to do this one time when a teacher pushed my son in the hallway and he was accused of saying " Don't touch me b#*tch. " Which he says he didn't say and he has never cussed before so we believed him. But even still, if it did happen, he doesn't like to be touched and we told them that. We got a letter from my son's dr and he got one day suspension instead of three. Yes, this is serious but it would be more so if your son was NT. Since he has AS he might not fully understand the severity of it all. Maybe speaking to a judge or officer might make him realize how serious it is. Has he ever gotten in a fight before or had any similar issue? I'm really sorry, don't know what else to say. I hope you all get through this ok and things get better again. Keep up posted and we are here for you! ne From: jan <jrushen@...> Subject: ( ) Son Suspended from School Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 6:17 PM Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days. Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would " kill him " , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help. jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2011 Report Share Posted February 8, 2011 Thanks....and the hard part is that my son said he ex-friend hacked into his accoutn and wrote some of the garbage...omg. Do I believe him or not??? This happened when he was on AOL instant messaging. And, the asst. principal intereview my son's girlfriend and she said he yelled at her once when they were fighting...but when the asst. principal talked to me she made it sound like my son was a "Control freak" and yelled at her all the time....Things get so confusing I don't know who or what to believe. My son lies to me and then eventually tells me the truth...and now he will fall behind in school and he was doing so GOOD. And, this incident will only make him angrier....I told him he can't go onto facebook anymore. But he says it is his only way of getting in contact with some of his friends. I do believe he would share his password on facebook...he is too trusting and when he and his friend broke off their friendship it was more my son breaking it off because he was tied of this kid yelling at him all the time. Raising our children is so hard. I worry about when he is 18. j "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: Elgamal <cindyelgamal@...> Sent: Tue, February 8, 2011 7:47:17 PMSubject: RE: ( ) Son Suspended from School Aw, geez, Jan. It is just a constant roller coaster with these kids, isn’t it? And, I know how sick at heart you are – been there, done that. Hugs, From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of rushen janiceSent: Tuesday, February 08, 2011 5:54 PM Subject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School Thanks ne....he got in troube with MySpace when he was in 6th grade....again saying things inappropriately...calling the girl "the school whore". And, you are so right ...it does have to do with AS. How could it not...it is part of who he is. I just broke down when I got there. The police resource officier was there and was angry with my son because he lied at first and then told the truth. He said he won't give my son any breaks from now on. I think a lot has to do with the fact this girl is really pretty and my son has low self-esteem so he probably can't believe he has her for a girlfriend. My son claims that she told him this kid won't stop bothering her. So, of course, my son takes it into his own hands. And, then they told me the girl came down and talk to the Asst. Principal because my son yells at her...which sounded like my son was a control freak and a controller. I am really sick over all this. "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: susanne hansen <s_hansen34@...> Sent: Tue, February 8, 2011 6:45:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School Jan, Wow, I'm so sorry this is happening. Things seemed to be going so good. Is your son on an IEP? This is serious but they can't just arbitrarily say it is not part of his AS. A manifestation determination has to be made in front of a hearing, not by one person alone. Sounds like you're doing all the right things. Taking his computer, seeing a therapist etc. I don't know what else to tell you to do. I would get a letter from your son's doctor saying that this type of behavior can be expected from him due to his AS because of his social skills deficits and lack impulse control. We had to do this one time when a teacher pushed my son in the hallway and he was accused of saying "Don't touch me b#*tch." Which he says he didn't say and he has never cussed before so we believed him. But even still, if it did happen, he doesn't like to be touched and we told them that. We got a letter from my son's dr and he got one day suspension instead of three. Yes, this is serious but it would be more so if your son was NT. Since he has AS he might not fully understand the severity of it all. Maybe speaking to a judge or officer might make him realize how serious it is. Has he ever gotten in a fight before or had any similar issue? I'm really sorry, don't know what else to say. I hope you all get through this ok and things get better again. Keep up posted and we are here for you! ne From: jan <jrushen@...>Subject: ( ) Son Suspended from School Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 6:17 PM Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan Bored stiff? Loosen up...Download and play hundreds of games for free on Games. 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Guest guest Posted February 8, 2011 Report Share Posted February 8, 2011 Well, ne...you put a smile on my face ....I got a chuckle out of that. Not that it is funny but sometimes when we look back at things ...they are. Like when this girl was teasing my son about his good friend...he told her to stop or he would spit on her. She kept it up ...so he did what he warned her ......he spit on her. of course he got suspended for a day. To me that was so typical Aspie. I laugh now thinking about it. He was honesty and said if you don't stop I will spit on you and she kept it up and he did what he said was going to. Hopefully I will be able to look back on this and sigh...and say...Thank Goodness those days are over. "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: susanne hansen <s_hansen34@...> Sent: Tue, February 8, 2011 9:36:34 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School You know Jan, raising NT kids isn't much easier actually. My oldest who is now 23, got expelled one year we were stationed in Germany because he was playing with a toy gun on the bus that another student brought to school, and when the priciple told him to get off the bus he called him a f* & king fagget. OMG! Teenagers can be SO frustrating. ne From: jan <jrushen@...>Subject: ( ) Son Suspended from School Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 6:17 PM Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan Bored stiff? Loosen up...Download and play hundreds of games for free on Games. We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love(and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list. Bored stiff? Loosen up...Download and play hundreds of games for free on Games. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2011 Report Share Posted February 8, 2011 I'm glad I got you to smile! Sometimes when we are cought up in the mess and stress of it all it's hard to see beyond it. It can be all consuming. I've been there many, many times and will for sure be again. But raising kids is the toughest job in the world and the most rewarding at the same time. My AS son can frustrate me to no end, but the other day I walk into the kitchen and he had made me a note on the counter in pretzel pieces that said "I love you Mom". I had to take a picture and post it on my facebook. This is the kind of stuff that makes it all worth it. Hang in there honey!! <<hugs>>ne From: jan <jrushen@...>Subject: ( ) Son Suspended from School Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 6:17 PM Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan Bored stiff? Loosen up...Download and play hundreds of games for free on Games. We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love(and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list. Bored stiff? Loosen up...Download and play hundreds of games for free on Games. Now that's room service! Choose from over 150,000 hotels in 45,000 destinations on Travel to find your fit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2011 Report Share Posted February 8, 2011 Yes, Jan..... Darn....I'm so sorry. Hugs to you........it's all I can do or say. You are so well-spoken and I know that you will do your "homework" and be able to help your son when and if he has to see a judge. You're a good mom......and things will work out. It's horrible and scary......to know that our kids' inablilty (or lack of ability) to think it through could call legal problems....but dammit - it can. Maybe this happening while he's young willl let him see how serious ones actions can affect us? Again,,,,hugs to the 3 of you. Robin ......A rich man is not one who has the most, but who needs the least..... From: jan <jrushen@...>Subject: ( ) Son Suspended from School Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 6:17 PM Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan Now that's room service! Choose from over 150,000 hotels in 45,000 destinations on Travel to find your fit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2011 Report Share Posted February 8, 2011 I love the note. How wonderful. I actually got a note left for me when I woke up Monday Morn. It was a Post-it Note attatched to the TV adn it said: "I unplugged all of our things in the house with cords to safe us money. Love, Ian" Sigh..................................... Robin ......A rich man is not one who has the most, but who needs the least..... From: jan <jrushen@...>Subject: ( ) Son Suspended from School Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 6:17 PM Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan Bored stiff? Loosen up...Download and play hundreds of games for free on Games. We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love(and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list. Bored stiff? Loosen up...Download and play hundreds of games for free on Games. Now that's room service! Choose from over 150,000 hotels in 45,000 destinations on Travel to find your fit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 He he. If we could just combine their "ways"....he he. I'm almost peeing my pants about you having all that stuff plugged in in one corner. The soldering gun and hair dryer are my favies.......darnit, that's funny.......he he............ Robin ......A rich man is not one who has the most, but who needs the least..... From: jan <jrushen@...>Subject: ( ) Son Suspended from School Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 6:17 PM Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan Bored stiff? Loosen up...Download and play hundreds of games for free on Games. We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love(and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list. Bored stiff? Loosen up...Download and play hundreds of games for free on Games. Now that's room service! Choose from over 150,000 hotels in 45,000 destinations on Travel to find your fit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 So sorry Jan. I don't know what else to say, but I can see how this could happen so easily with the way our kids over-react and say things without thinking of the consequence. I hope you can convince them these threats were related to his AS and they have some leniency on him. Let us know what happens next. We are all here for you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Suzanne suzmarkwood@... From: jan <jrushen@...>Subject: ( ) Son Suspended from School Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 3:17 PM Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 helping mom out...what a nice guy...lol From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Tue, February 8, 2011 10:33:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School I love the note. How wonderful. I actually got a note left for me when I woke up Monday Morn. It was a Post-it Note attatched to the TV adn it said: "I unplugged all of our things in the house with cords to safe us money. Love, Ian" Sigh..................................... Robin ......A rich man is not one who has the most, but who needs the least..... From: jan <jrushen@...>Subject: ( ) Son Suspended from School Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 6:17 PM Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan Bored stiff? Loosen up...Download and play hundreds of games for free on Games. We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love(and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list. Bored stiff? Loosen up...Download and play hundreds of games for free on Games. Now that's room service! Choose from over 150,000 hotels in 45,000 destinations on Travel to find your fit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 I would contact disability rights and see if they can hep with this. They should at least rpovide in home tutoring i f they do not undo the suspension but disability rights might be able to convince them this is not appropriate for a child with a disability. From: rushen janice <jrushen@...> Sent: Tue, February 8, 2011 5:53:44 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School Thanks ne....he got in troube with MySpace when he was in 6th grade....again saying things inappropriately...calling the girl "the school whore". And, you are so right ...it does have to do with AS. How could it not...it is part of who he is. I just broke down when I got there. The police resource officier was there and was angry with my son because he lied at first and then told the truth. He said he won't give my son any breaks from now on. I think a lot has to do with the fact this girl is really pretty and my son has low self-esteem so he probably can't believe he has her for a girlfriend. My son claims that she told him this kid won't stop bothering her. So, of course, my son takes it into his own hands. And, then they told me the girl came down and talk to the Asst. Principal because my son yells at her...which sounded like my son was a control freak and a controller. I am really sick over all this. "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: susanne hansen <s_hansen34@...> Sent: Tue, February 8, 2011 6:45:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School Jan, Wow, I'm so sorry this is happening. Things seemed to be going so good. Is your son on an IEP? This is serious but they can't just arbitrarily say it is not part of his AS. A manifestation determination has to be made in front of a hearing, not by one person alone. Sounds like you're doing all the right things. Taking his computer, seeing a therapist etc. I don't know what else to tell you to do. I would get a letter from your son's doctor saying that this type of behavior can be expected from him due to his AS because of his social skills deficits and lack impulse control. We had to do this one time when a teacher pushed my son in the hallway and he was accused of saying "Don't touch me b#*tch." Which he says he didn't say and he has never cussed before so we believed him. But even still, if it did happen, he doesn't like to be touched and we told them that. We got a letter from my son's dr and he got one day suspension instead of three. Yes, this is serious but it would be more so if your son was NT. Since he has AS he might not fully understand the severity of it all. Maybe speaking to a judge or officer might make him realize how serious it is. Has he ever gotten in a fight before or had any similar issue? I'm really sorry, don't know what else to say. I hope you all get through this ok and things get better again. Keep up posted and we are here for you! ne From: jan <jrushen@...>Subject: ( ) Son Suspended from School Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 6:17 PM Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan 8:00? 8:25? 8:40? Find a flick in no time with the Search movie showtime shortcut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 I don't know ...my son made some bad choice and used words like I am going to kill you...which is consider "terroristic" and you know the "no tolerance act". I know my son would not hurt anyone...he would never fight ..he is all talk. He puts on a show to appear "cool" like other kids but just doesn't get the whole social agenda. "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: Jadczak <bjadczak@...> Sent: Wed, February 9, 2011 10:58:13 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School I would contact disability rights and see if they can hep with this. They should at least rpovide in home tutoring i f they do not undo the suspension but disability rights might be able to convince them this is not appropriate for a child with a disability. From: rushen janice <jrushen@...> Sent: Tue, February 8, 2011 5:53:44 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School Thanks ne....he got in troube with MySpace when he was in 6th grade....again saying things inappropriately...calling the girl "the school whore". And, you are so right ...it does have to do with AS. How could it not...it is part of who he is. I just broke down when I got there. The police resource officier was there and was angry with my son because he lied at first and then told the truth. He said he won't give my son any breaks from now on. I think a lot has to do with the fact this girl is really pretty and my son has low self-esteem so he probably can't believe he has her for a girlfriend. My son claims that she told him this kid won't stop bothering her. So, of course, my son takes it into his own hands. And, then they told me the girl came down and talk to the Asst. Principal because my son yells at her...which sounded like my son was a control freak and a controller. I am really sick over all this. "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: susanne hansen <s_hansen34@...> Sent: Tue, February 8, 2011 6:45:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School Jan, Wow, I'm so sorry this is happening. Things seemed to be going so good. Is your son on an IEP? This is serious but they can't just arbitrarily say it is not part of his AS. A manifestation determination has to be made in front of a hearing, not by one person alone. Sounds like you're doing all the right things. Taking his computer, seeing a therapist etc. I don't know what else to tell you to do. I would get a letter from your son's doctor saying that this type of behavior can be expected from him due to his AS because of his social skills deficits and lack impulse control. We had to do this one time when a teacher pushed my son in the hallway and he was accused of saying "Don't touch me b#*tch." Which he says he didn't say and he has never cussed before so we believed him. But even still, if it did happen, he doesn't like to be touched and we told them that. We got a letter from my son's dr and he got one day suspension instead of three. Yes, this is serious but it would be more so if your son was NT. Since he has AS he might not fully understand the severity of it all. Maybe speaking to a judge or officer might make him realize how serious it is. Has he ever gotten in a fight before or had any similar issue? I'm really sorry, don't know what else to say. I hope you all get through this ok and things get better again. Keep up posted and we are here for you! ne From: jan <jrushen@...>Subject: ( ) Son Suspended from School Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 6:17 PM Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan 8:00? 8:25? 8:40? Find a flick in no timewith the Search movie showtime shortcut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 I hear you. My son punched a staff member ( at age 8) and was restrained by 3 adults and was hurt and suspended. I went directly to the special ed director and superintedent to show them his injuries. They wanted to place him in an Emotionally Behaviorally Disturbed classroom secluded from the other kids originally, but I went in with disability rights and explained all the ways they had not given him an appropriate public education and what would have prevented it. They finally sent him to a better school where now he has not been suspended once, when before it was almost daily inschool suspension and out of school suspension at least quarterly. I am sure what he did was not okay, but they need to know that they are as much contributors by not providing what he needs at school as he is... It is tough, best of luck to you while he is home. I know those were always tough days for us - not wanting to reward the behavior by allowing the things that would kep him from getting more and more agitiated at home. Routine change, and not enough structure - it was maddening for me. He was worse being home always and then he felt like he got out of school with his behavior so he would act like he was lucky he got suspended. It is a toughy. My prayers and thoughts are with you... From: rushen janice <jrushen@...> Sent: Wed, February 9, 2011 3:44:15 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School I don't know ...my son made some bad choice and used words like I am going to kill you...which is consider "terroristic" and you know the "no tolerance act". I know my son would not hurt anyone...he would never fight ..he is all talk. He puts on a show to appear "cool" like other kids but just doesn't get the whole social agenda. "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: Jadczak <bjadczak@...> Sent: Wed, February 9, 2011 10:58:13 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School I would contact disability rights and see if they can hep with this. They should at least rpovide in home tutoring i f they do not undo the suspension but disability rights might be able to convince them this is not appropriate for a child with a disability. From: rushen janice <jrushen@...> Sent: Tue, February 8, 2011 5:53:44 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School Thanks ne....he got in troube with MySpace when he was in 6th grade....again saying things inappropriately...calling the girl "the school whore". And, you are so right ...it does have to do with AS. How could it not...it is part of who he is. I just broke down when I got there. The police resource officier was there and was angry with my son because he lied at first and then told the truth. He said he won't give my son any breaks from now on. I think a lot has to do with the fact this girl is really pretty and my son has low self-esteem so he probably can't believe he has her for a girlfriend. My son claims that she told him this kid won't stop bothering her. So, of course, my son takes it into his own hands. And, then they told me the girl came down and talk to the Asst. Principal because my son yells at her...which sounded like my son was a control freak and a controller. I am really sick over all this. "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: susanne hansen <s_hansen34@...> Sent: Tue, February 8, 2011 6:45:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School Jan, Wow, I'm so sorry this is happening. Things seemed to be going so good. Is your son on an IEP? This is serious but they can't just arbitrarily say it is not part of his AS. A manifestation determination has to be made in front of a hearing, not by one person alone. Sounds like you're doing all the right things. Taking his computer, seeing a therapist etc. I don't know what else to tell you to do. I would get a letter from your son's doctor saying that this type of behavior can be expected from him due to his AS because of his social skills deficits and lack impulse control. We had to do this one time when a teacher pushed my son in the hallway and he was accused of saying "Don't touch me b#*tch." Which he says he didn't say and he has never cussed before so we believed him. But even still, if it did happen, he doesn't like to be touched and we told them that. We got a letter from my son's dr and he got one day suspension instead of three. Yes, this is serious but it would be more so if your son was NT. Since he has AS he might not fully understand the severity of it all. Maybe speaking to a judge or officer might make him realize how serious it is. Has he ever gotten in a fight before or had any similar issue? I'm really sorry, don't know what else to say. I hope you all get through this ok and things get better again. Keep up posted and we are here for you! ne From: jan <jrushen@...>Subject: ( ) Son Suspended from School Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 6:17 PM Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan 8:00? 8:25? 8:40? Find a flick in no timewith the Search movie showtime shortcut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 The 5 is against the law book is aimed at teens. The author is Kari Dunn Buron. She's also written similar books for slightly younger kids as well. http://www.amazon.com/Against-Law-Social-Boundaries-Straight/dp/1931282358/ref=s\ r_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1297297233 & sr=8-1 Here's a link to the book via Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/Against-Law-Social-Boundaries-Straight/dp/1931282358/ref=s\ r_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1297297233 & sr=8-1 > > > > Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son > >was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they > >said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went > >to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days. > > > > Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his > >girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son > >takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would " kill > >him " , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. > >He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and > >never would. > > > > > > The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on > >facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. > > > > > > The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats > >and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed > >with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we > >keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. > > > > > > WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it > >unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account > >and he said NO. > > > > > > I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't > >seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. > > > > > > The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he > >doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real > >girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would > >not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and > >it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. > > > > > > The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was > >call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. > > > > > > I am sick over this and at a losss....help. > > > > jan > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 {{{Jan}}} I'm so sorry. What a mess. It most definitely is a manifestation of his disability. How could it not be? He is saying inappropriate things, duh. That is what so many of our kids do all the time - spout off and say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Worse, they can say things that make the situation seem so out-of-proportion bad. My ds, for instance, went through a phase where he would say I beat him all the time. But I've never hit him. I don't even know why he says that. He did it again the other day in the store - got on the "You abused me as a child" thing and I finally got so angry at his nonsense that I said, "No, I did not. But I will smack you now if you don't shut it!" I know, bad mommy. (it only confirmed to him that I am abusive when I said that - I couldn't win! lol) But it was so far fetched and if someone would hear him talk that way, they would believe it. He has no sense that way. And he has little perspective in which to deal with these kinds of issues. I don't get why the school would say it's not part of his AS. That, to me, shows they are not getting the problem. Roxanna “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.†- Luther King, Jr. ( ) Son Suspended from School Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days. Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help. jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 This is tough. I look at it in a few different ways. In general, as a parent, if I heard a child threatened my child, I'd want swift action. I don't know if it would matter to me if the child had a disability or not. I might have more compassion, but it wouldn't mean that I wouldn't want the school to take it seriously. You hear about other kids who were diagnosed with things like anxiety, depression, ADHD, who end up doing violent things at school so I'm sure it's hard for the school not to take this extremely seriously. As a parent of a child with Aspergers, my stance softens a little bit. I really don't know what the answer is either because with my son, if he does things 1.5 times, it's a habit. So I'd want him to see how serious this is and my mere words might not be enough. In some ways, I might be okay with how the school is handling this b/c it might make enough of an impression on my son so he would never think to do something like this again. That protects him when he's older. As your friend on this listserv, knowing how hard you try and knowing the ups and downs you've had over the years, my heart breaks for you. I know how scary this must be for you. I'm hopeful that the resolution to this teaches him the lesson he needs to learn without going overboard. I'm really pulling for both of you! From: jan <jrushen@...> Sent: Tue, February 8, 2011 5:17:45 PMSubject: ( ) Son Suspended from School Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 Thank you Roxanna....I think they beleive he 'knew what he was saying"....but they don't realize how out of perspective it is ...and how he doesn't know how to handle social situations and how out of control he gets. I asked him today why is he so Angry all the time. He says because People Annoy me. And, to top it off...I don't think he truly understands the ramifications of all this. And, other kids talk like this and he thinks it is okay! I told him if the guy was bothering his g.f. that she should have told guidance or the Asst. Principal. His reply..."I am not going to do that...then everyone will call me a Wimp!" Right now he is having this "gay" issue. I didn't raise him that way...but I think he picks it up from others and goes overboard. I told him to let things slid off his back...to ignore...and that he will not be around these people alll his life. I told him that he and g.f. should just walk by this kid and if says HI...just ignore him. I told him he needs to learn to accept people for who they are. My son was picked on all his life...why would he pick on someone else...do you think becuase he is angry for being picked on and picking on someone else makes him feel better or empowered? I just don't get it. Now my question is...should I call for a Manifestation Meeting? All this stuff was on facebook and nothing happened at the school. Confused, depressed. saddened and feel guilty that I spoke too soon. jan "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Wed, February 9, 2011 8:38:10 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School {{{Jan}}}I'm so sorry. What a mess. It most definitely is a manifestation of his disability. How could it not be? He is saying inappropriate things, duh. That is what so many of our kids do all the time - spout off and say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Worse, they can say things that make the situation seem so out-of-proportion bad. My ds, for instance, went through a phase where he would say I beat him all the time. But I've never hit him. I don't even know why he says that. He did it again the other day in the store - got on the "You abused me as a child" thing and I finally got so angry at his nonsense that I said, "No, I did not. But I will smack you now if you don't shut it!" I know, bad mommy. (it only confirmed to him that I am abusive when I said that - I couldn't win! lol) But it was so far fetched and if someone would hear him talk that way, they would believe it. He has no sense that way. And he has little perspective in which to deal with these kinds of issues. I don't get why the school would say it's not part of his AS. That, to me, shows they are not getting the problem. Roxanna“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.†- Luther King, Jr. ( ) Son Suspended from School Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 I am sure he "knew what he was saying" but when it is filtered through the lens of AS, it isn't the same thing. When your perspective is different - so different than NT people's perspective - you think this is how to solve the problem. It would be interesting to have "TOPS" given to him - "test of problem solving." They gave that to my older ds in middle school and he scored extremely low on it and was in tears before he was finished with it. He couldn't even picture the situations, let alone figure out a solution! So he soon was getting help in ST with situations - how to understand them and solve them. It did help him. He often thinks through what might go wrong now and prepares himself. My ds goes through the gay thing too. I think all kids do but our are more apt to say things out loud than to realize it's not polite. It really started with my ds because that is what all the kids at school would say as a put down - "you're gay." or "That's so gay." Like all things with our kids, learning how to understand that, what it means, how you can talk about it privately with mom or dad vs. publicly, that is such a different story! I often think that now that we e-school at home, we are not getting calls from frantic teachers who over hear him saying things like that. lol. Learning lessons like accepting people who are different are going to be a lot harder for many of our kids. I know it seems logical that if they are teased for being different, they will be kinder to people who are different. I have not found that to be true. The kids have to internalize and generalize before they can take a life lesson like that and apply it to others. I know my own ds was always grouped with a boy who has down syndrome at school. He hated it and hated being around the kid because he was so different! everyone assumed he would be kinder to the kid. But he was the opposite because he had all these problems with social skills already and trying to figure out how the world worked - this was yet another lesson to be learned. And the kid was different and unpredictable! And he didn't even know how to add. (Something my ds thought was amazing and the weirdest thing ever!) He never thought of the situation in any way comparable to anything he has gone through in life. He just knew the kid had issues and he couldn't deal with them. I had to actually ask them to stop putting my ds with this kid because it was turning into a big big mess for my ds. People just don't get why that is when it made perfect sense to me. I still worked with him to understand that people are different and to be accepting. I worked with him to imagine a world where not everyone could multiply before Kindergarten. lol. I think he does get that now. But back in elementary school, he just couldn't picture it and he couldn't empathize with others yet. He is a very kind kid too and was even then. One year, they voted him "the kid with the biggest heart" even. So it's not a character flaw in our kids that they have this problem. He's still a good kid inside. He just has a problem learning how to empathize and how to socialize in more appropriate ways. (i.e they have AS/HFA) As for whether you should request a manifestation hearing, I don't know! I think I would want to let these people know how very much this is a part of having AS. However you do that, would be up to you! I would also make sure that this kind of problem is written in his PLOP for any future needs. It must state that he has AS and that this often will result in him saying the wrong thing or making socially inappropriate remarks. Then when they want to punish him next time, you can point out that this is part of the AS and this is something we all should know that he needs help with. The ST or counselor should be working with him on these teen situations and problem solving. Roxanna “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.†- Luther King, Jr. ( ) Son Suspended from School Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days. Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help. jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 First...what is PLOP and ST??? I have not heard these terms yet. In his IEP, his dx of AS is listed first. The psychiatrist wanted it that way to protect him. When he was in 6th grade he was suspended one day and it was ruled a manifestation of his disability. We also had an FBA meeting and came up with a Behavior Plan, which is no longer in effect. I really do thing it is part of is Disabiltiy even though the Asst. Principal already said it wasn't ...and we didn't even meet. He lacks impusle control and doesn't get social skills and says and does things inappropriately. We took him to his doctor today and he told the doctor...my girlfriend said this kid was annoying her. She told him to leave her alone and she then asked me to take care of it. My son told him 5x ...and I guess the kid didn't get the hint so my son took it over the line. My son says this kid is a cry baby and whines over everything and tells on everyone. I told him you don't have to like him...but you can't be mean to him either. Just avoid him. I said you don't like being picked on or teased ...so you shouldn't do it. He replys....well at least I don't cry like he does. My son although high function just doesn't get it. He said his gf told him to...and I said well if she told you to jump off a bridge would you? He said no...but this is different. And, he doesn't truly understand the severity of what he said...he says things out loud when they should be kept inside. In addition, I am sure he has heard other kids say "i am gonna kill him" but not really mean it. So he might think it is okay to say it. He never got when and where things are appropriate and when they are not! Jan "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Sat, February 12, 2011 1:44:51 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School I am sure he "knew what he was saying" but when it is filtered through the lens of AS, it isn't the same thing. When your perspective is different - so different than NT people's perspective - you think this is how to solve the problem. It would be interesting to have "TOPS" given to him - "test of problem solving." They gave that to my older ds in middle school and he scored extremely low on it and was in tears before he was finished with it. He couldn't even picture the situations, let alone figure out a solution! So he soon was getting help in ST with situations - how to understand them and solve them. It did help him. He often thinks through what might go wrong now and prepares himself. My ds goes through the gay thing too. I think all kids do but our are more apt to say things out loud than to realize it's not polite. It really started with my ds because that is what all the kids at school would say as a put down - "you're gay." or "That's so gay." Like all things with our kids, learning how to understand that, what it means, how you can talk about it privately with mom or dad vs. publicly, that is such a different story! I often think that now that we e-school at home, we are not getting calls from frantic teachers who over hear him saying things like that. lol. Learning lessons like accepting people who are different are going to be a lot harder for many of our kids. I know it seems logical that if they are teased for being different, they will be kinder to people who are different. I have not found that to be true. The kids have to internalize and generalize before they can take a life lesson like that and apply it to others. I know my own ds was always grouped with a boy who has down syndrome at school. He hated it and hated being around the kid because he was so different! everyone assumed he would be kinder to the kid. But he was the opposite because he had all these problems with social skills already and trying to figure out how the world worked - this was yet another lesson to be learned. And the kid was different and unpredictable! And he didn't even know how to add. (Something my ds thought was amazing and the weirdest thing ever!) He never thought of the situation in any way comparable to anything he has gone through in life. He just knew the kid had issues and he couldn't deal with them. I had to actually ask them to stop putting my ds with this kid because it was turning into a big big mess for my ds. People just don't get why that is when it made perfect sense to me.I still worked with him to understand that people are different and to be accepting. I worked with him to imagine a world where not everyone could multiply before Kindergarten. lol. I think he does get that now. But back in elementary school, he just couldn't picture it and he couldn't empathize with others yet. He is a very kind kid too and was even then. One year, they voted him "the kid with the biggest heart" even. So it's not a character flaw in our kids that they have this problem. He's still a good kid inside. He just has a problem learning how to empathize and how to socialize in more appropriate ways. (i.e they have AS/HFA) As for whether you should request a manifestation hearing, I don't know! I think I would want to let these people know how very much this is a part of having AS. However you do that, would be up to you! I would also make sure that this kind of problem is written in his PLOP for any future needs. It must state that he has AS and that this often will result in him saying the wrong thing or making socially inappropriate remarks. Then when they want to punish him next time, you can point out that this is part of the AS and this is something we all should know that he needs help with. The ST or counselor should be working with him on these teen situations and problem solving. Roxanna“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.†- Luther King, Jr. ( ) Son Suspended from School Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan Never miss an email again! Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives. Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 Well, unfortunately in our world today, someone says anything even remotely menacing and we all get to go crazy about it. I think common sense would be helpful. I mean, my older ds said things off and on in school and we never had anyone going nuts over it because they knew his dx, knew he had a problem expressing himself. In fact, they probably didn't even complain because I would have used it as a reason they should give him more services. lol. PLOP - present levels of performance. This is the beginning of the IEP where it should list his needs. Having his dx of AS listed first to protect him is exactly the point and I agree! But also list what this means for him. My ds, for instance, would shut down when he was upset and refuse to answer questions or look at people or even move. A time or two I had teachers who thought they knew better and they could "make" him move. And then if that happened, he would lash out wildly. So I wanted it all spelled out in the IEP so nobody could say they didn't know without admitting they didn't read the IEP. Then if he had a problem with this, I felt we could directly link it to the disability. ST is Speech therapy/therapist. If he is being suspended for his behaviors, he needs a behavior plan. Ass principal needs to brush up on his medical school degree before he decides it is not a manifestation of the disability. Oh wait, I bet he doesn't have a medical degree! Roxanna “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.†- Luther King, Jr. ( ) Son Suspended from School Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days. Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help. jan Never miss an email again! Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives. Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 Nope Asst. Principal (a she) doesn't have a medical degree and what is even better she was a Special Education Supervisor before she jumped to the other side of the fence and became an Asst. Principal. I have an IEP meeting coming up and I am going to mention this PLOP (present levels of performance). I did have him tested for Speech Therapy but they said he was not qualified. I think I may want to the Behavior Specialist involved now...my son gets no services from the school even though I requested social skills training and anger management. Jan "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Sat, February 12, 2011 7:23:44 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School Well, unfortunately in our world today, someone says anything even remotely menacing and we all get to go crazy about it. I think common sense would be helpful. I mean, my older ds said things off and on in school and we never had anyone going nuts over it because they knew his dx, knew he had a problem expressing himself. In fact, they probably didn't even complain because I would have used it as a reason they should give him more services. lol. PLOP - present levels of performance. This is the beginning of the IEP where it should list his needs. Having his dx of AS listed first to protect him is exactly the point and I agree! But also list what this means for him. My ds, for instance, would shut down when he was upset and refuse to answer questions or look at people or even move. A time or two I had teachers who thought they knew better and they could "make" him move. And then if that happened, he would lash out wildly. So I wanted it all spelled out in the IEP so nobody could say they didn't know without admitting they didn't read the IEP. Then if he had a problem with this, I felt we could directly link it to the disability. ST is Speech therapy/therapist. If he is being suspended for his behaviors, he needs a behavior plan. Ass principal needs to brush up on his medical school degree before he decides it is not a manifestation of the disability. Oh wait, I bet he doesn't have a medical degree! Roxanna“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.†- Luther King, Jr. ( ) Son Suspended from School Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan Never miss an email again! Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives. Check it out. Get your own web address. Have a HUGE year through Small Business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 16, 2011 Report Share Posted February 16, 2011 You might want to get an IEE for Speech therapy and have one do a good eval on problem solving, social understanding and pragmatic language issues. I have gotten IEE's for ST for my kids on many occasions in the past and I have always been surprised at the results (i.e. it was always a lot worse than the school ST would say it was.) It doesn't mean that will happen to everyone else who gets an IEE, obviously, but it is rather strange to never have the school ST see the whole problem. Let us know how things go with your meeting! Roxanna “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.†- Luther King, Jr. ( ) Son Suspended from School Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days. Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help. jan Never miss an email again! Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives. Check it out. Get your own web address. Have a HUGE year through Small Business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 16, 2011 Report Share Posted February 16, 2011 Ok...what is an IEE? Independent Evaluation? Hee Hee...I am so bad with abbreviations. "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 4:49:26 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Son Suspended from School You might want to get an IEE for Speech therapy and have one do a good eval on problem solving, social understanding and pragmatic language issues. I have gotten IEE's for ST for my kids on many occasions in the past and I have always been surprised at the results (i.e. it was always a lot worse than the school ST would say it was.) It doesn't mean that will happen to everyone else who gets an IEE, obviously, but it is rather strange to never have the school ST see the whole problem. Let us know how things go with your meeting! Roxanna“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.†- Luther King, Jr. ( ) Son Suspended from School Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days.Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help.jan Never miss an email again! Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives. Check it out. Get your own web address.Have a HUGE year through Small Business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 16, 2011 Report Share Posted February 16, 2011 Sorry, yes, an Independent educational eval. Roxanna “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.†- Luther King, Jr. ( ) Son Suspended from School Well, I guess I spoke to soon...I counted my eggs before they hatched. My son was suspended today from school. Originally it was going to be 10 days but they said...as long as he did his work at home, didn't give us a hard time and went to therapy ...they would change it to 5 days. Why was he suspended....well, it seems that this kid said hello to his girlfriend and she made a comment that he won't leave her alone. So, my son takes things into his own hands and on facebook he told this kid he would "kill him" , that he was a fxxking gay and he was going to beat him up...and so forth. He said his was going to get his father's AK .....and we don't own guns and never would. The boy reported my son to the principal. Then they got the postings on facebook. My son sounded horrible. This is not who I raised. The school said the police maybe calling. They said it was terroristic threats and he may have to go in front of a judge. OMG. And, my son is now in his bed with the covers over his head. When I try to talk he yells at me. He says we keep repeating the same thing over and over. But he jsut doesn't get it. WE did tell his he lost his computer and will never be allowed to use it unsupervised. No more facebook. We told him that he had to delete his account and he said NO. I don't know how to deal with all this. I did call his therapsit who he hasn't seen in a while and made 2 appts. for him..now he has no choice. The school said it is not part of his AS...although I think it is in a way...he doesn't have the social skills or self controls. This is his first real girlfriend...and she is cute and goodlooking. Plus, I truly know my son would not beat anyone up...it was all talk. He doesn't get how serious this is...and it is. We may end up going in front of a juveniel judge. The principal did say that if he didn't behave at school, all I had to do was call him and he would set up for him to go to the Academy for 3 of the days. I am sick over this and at a losss....help. jan Never miss an email again! Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives. Check it out. Get your own web address. Have a HUGE year through Small Business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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