Re: Two Questions :) obsessions response

[Guest guest]

We 'played in to' it with our 16 year old, and the expense and amounts we paid were up to us (meaning, he didn't get everything he wanted with it)--

he had numerous obsessions: 17 months- 3 years of age, he was in to dinosaurs and knew more about 24 or so types and kinds of dinosaurs, called them all by names, and I got him books (bought a FEW but tons from the library) and we dove in together; that died out (same time, he was in to suits and wore one in about 90 degree temps TO THE ZOO with his cowboy boots: then, he was people (Sammy Sosa all one summer and would only wear Sammy's uniform---we bought 2 so we could wash and this went on about 3 months LITERALLY---you called him , he corrected you----we called him , then SAMMY!--------the phases ALL pass!!!! EXCEPT, he IS a sports nut; good at basketball (himself), and has a football team, basketball team, golf star, and baseball team that he follows and knows everything (SERIOUSLY) about them and their histories (as well as a lot of other teams but he will make an amazing recruiter, scout, something like that one day----he is AMAZING with this information and it has grown us all together as a family!

WE TOOK HIM TO SEE LEBRON JAMES play basketball and had 19th row seats (Christmas 2006---still best Christmas ever for our family and may always be!). We all had jerseys, and we just went with it. He has ENRICHED ALL OUR LIVES (our son!). We watch more sports than we ever would have ourselves, and really, the 'weirdness' obsessiveness is just NOT the same---really, it is VERY MANLY and NORMAL NOW!!!!! MEN chatting sound just like our son!

Our 8 year old Aspies is obsessed with office supplies and we have had to handle him differently as he takes my stuff all the time (which IS stealing) and I can NEVER FIND ANYTHING! We have dealt with IT differently. He also is obsessed with dressing up (suits) but his phase is 2nd grade and now; he LOOKS GREAT IN A SUIT (we say that because our 7 year old whom is N.T. doesn't really!); however, it makes him WEIRD / different and NOT LIKE HIS CLASSMATES IN 3rd grade, so part of his waiver programming includes THAT, and last year, we limited him to once per week; this year, twice he has been allowed to wear a suit----as HE NEEDS TO FIT IN so that is what we are supporting.

SO, basically, if it is something harmless to the child, at their age, (long vs short hair; pants v. shorts even if hot, HARMLESS!) then do it; if it will make other kids tease them because of their age then, is outside of your home, something like that, we have been advised to 'keep it at home' and work with them on that (we point it out in public, etc.----show them that OTHERS are NOT doing as he does at home---type of thing). HOPE THAT HELPS!

Good Luck

Ruthie Dolezal

Aspergers Treatment From: fnofsports@...Date: Sun, 14 Feb 2010 22:21:44 -0600Subject: RE: ( ) Two Questions

1) Peoples opinions will vary but generally it seems to do more harm then good to discourage obsessions. Legos can help with creativity and making friends too, things that will help him later on in life. 2) Definately don't stop him from doing what he likes to do, but if it gets to the point where he no longer likes it near as much and wants to quit... I donno.

From: caitlinwray (DOT) caDate: Mon, 15 Feb 2010 01:42:02 +0000Subject: ( ) Two Questions

I am in the early stages of researching Aspergers (my son was diagnosed 4 days ago) but there are two questions I would really really appreciate an answer for if you've had any experience with these areas:1) should we be actively limiting or discouraging his intense fascinations? Currently it is Lego, and mainly star wars lego. Is limiting or avoiding his fascinations good or bad for him?2) should we be reconsidering the music lessons he's been getting (used to be suzuki violin and he recently moved to piano - his own request) - does this just add more stress and pressure and require more mental effort that he could otherwise be redirecting to managing his Aspergers? Or is this good for him?Thanks very much!!!!CaitlinEmbracing change as a blessing in disguise at www.welcome-to-normal.com

Hotmail: Free, trusted and rich email service. Get it now.

[Guest guest]

Thanks everyone for sharing all your wisdom. I hadn't thought of the socialization potential with lego and star wars, that's a very good point. Also the sports issue - he's in swimming and skating right now, but no team sports. I'm not sure he would handle them very well just yet, but definitely something to consider in the near future. I think that will be an important part of 'fitting in' as he gets older.

CaitlinEmbracing change as a blessing in disguise at www.welcome-to-normal.com

>> > We 'played in to' it with our 16 year old, and the expense and amounts we paid were up to us (meaning, he didn't get everything he wanted with it)--> > he had numerous obsessions: 17 months- 3 years of age, he was in to dinosaurs and knew more about 24 or so types and kinds of dinosaurs, called them all by names, and I got him books (bought a FEW but tons from the library) and we dove in together; that died out (same time, he was in to suits and wore one in about 90 degree temps TO THE ZOO with his cowboy boots: then, he was people (Sammy Sosa all one summer and would only wear Sammy's uniform---we bought 2 so we could wash and this went on about 3 months LITERALLY---you called him , he corrected you----we called him , then SAMMY!--------the phases ALL pass!!!! EXCEPT, he IS a sports nut; good at basketball (himself), and has a football team, basketball team, golf star, and baseball team that he follows and knows everything (SERIOUSLY) about them and their histories (as well as a lot of other teams but he will make an amazing recruiter, scout, something like that one day----he is AMAZING with this information and it has grown us all together as a family!> > > WE TOOK HIM TO SEE LEBRON JAMES play basketball and had 19th row seats (Christmas 2006---still best Christmas ever for our family and may always be!). We all had jerseys, and we just went with it. He has ENRICHED ALL OUR LIVES (our son!). We watch more sports than we ever would have ourselves, and really, the 'weirdness' obsessiveness is just NOT the same---really, it is VERY MANLY and NORMAL NOW!!!!! MEN chatting sound just like our son!> > > > Our 8 year old Aspies is obsessed with office supplies and we have had to handle him differently as he takes my stuff all the time (which IS stealing) and I can NEVER FIND ANYTHING! We have dealt with IT differently. He also is obsessed with dressing up (suits) but his phase is 2nd grade and now; he LOOKS GREAT IN A SUIT (we say that because our 7 year old whom is N.T. doesn't really!); however, it makes him WEIRD / different and NOT LIKE HIS CLASSMATES IN 3rd grade, so part of his waiver programming includes THAT, and last year, we limited him to once per week; this year, twice he has been allowed to wear a suit----as HE NEEDS TO FIT IN so that is what we are supporting. > > > > SO, basically, if it is something harmless to the child, at their age, (long vs short hair; pants v. shorts even if hot, HARMLESS!) then do it; if it will make other kids tease them because of their age then, is outside of your home, something like that, we have been advised to 'keep it at home' and work with them on that (we point it out in public, etc.----show them that OTHERS are NOT doing as he does at home---type of thing). HOPE THAT HELPS!> > > > Good Luck> > > > Ruthie Dolezal > > > Aspergers Treatment > From: fnofsports@...> Date: Sun, 14 Feb 2010 22:21:44 -0600> Subject: RE: ( ) Two Questions > > > > > > 1) Peoples opinions will vary but generally it seems to do more harm then good to discourage obsessions. Legos can help with creativity and making friends too, things that will help him later on in life.> > 2) Definately don't stop him from doing what he likes to do, but if it gets to the point where he no longer likes it near as much and wants to quit... I donno.> > > > > From: caitlinwray@...> Date: Mon, 15 Feb 2010 01:42:02 +0000> Subject: ( ) Two Questions > > > > > > I am in the early stages of researching Aspergers (my son was diagnosed 4 days ago) but there are two questions I would really really appreciate an answer for if you've had any experience with these areas:> 1) should we be actively limiting or discouraging his intense fascinations? Currently it is Lego, and mainly star wars lego. Is limiting or avoiding his fascinations good or bad for him?> 2) should we be reconsidering the music lessons he's been getting (used to be suzuki violin and he recently moved to piano - his own request) - does this just add more stress and pressure and require more mental effort that he could otherwise be redirecting to managing his Aspergers? Or is this good for him?> Thanks very much!!!!> Caitlin> Embracing change as a blessing in disguise at www.welcome-to-normal.com> > > > > > > Hotmail: Free, trusted and rich email service. Get it now.>

[Guest guest]

i think swimming is an excellent choice. it involves individual effort but

contributes to the swimming " team " . my opinion. dont wait. the younger the

better. geo

- ( ) Two Questions

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>

>

>

>

> I am in the early stages of researching Aspergers (my son was

diagnosed 4 days ago) but there are two questions I would really really

appreciate an answer for if you've had any experience with these areas:

> 1) should we be actively limiting or discouraging his intense

fascinations? Currently it is Lego, and mainly star wars lego. Is

limiting or avoiding his fascinations good or bad for him?

> 2) should we be reconsidering the music lessons he's been getting

(used to be suzuki violin and he recently moved to piano - his own

request) - does this just add more stress and pressure and require more

mental effort that he could otherwise be redirecting to managing his

Aspergers? Or is this good for him?

> Thanks very much!!!!

> Caitlin

> Embracing change as a blessing in disguise at

www.welcome-to-normal.com

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Hotmail: Free, trusted and rich email service. Get it now.

>

[Guest guest]

I agree 100%. My son was into Batman for the longest time. My neighbor gave him a homemade cape and he wore it all the time...every where....the only time I didn't was when he was on his little bike...i told him he might get it caught int he spokes...he was more worried about tearing the cape then hurting himself.

Then it was Power Rangers...and he went everywhere in the costume ...he even carried the sword.

Now he is in 8th grade and he likes his hair long....we let him...it is not worth a battle. He wears short sleeves all year round. And, one summer he would not wear shorts...and he won't wear sandals.

They go thru their obsessions and usually move on. My son finally wore a long sleeve button down dress shirt, tie and dress pants to the concert....of course he ripped them off after the concert was done...but years before he would never even wear one.

Jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: Ruthie and Dolezal <DOLEZAL123@...> <Aspergers Treatment >Sent: Mon, February 15, 2010 9:34:52 PMSubject: RE: ( ) Two Questions obsessions response

We 'played in to' it with our 16 year old, and the expense and amounts we paid were up to us (meaning, he didn't get everything he wanted with it)--he had numerous obsessions: 17 months- 3 years of age, he was in to dinosaurs and knew more about 24 or so types and kinds of dinosaurs, called them all by names, and I got him books (bought a FEW but tons from the library) and we dove in together; that died out (same time, he was in to suits and wore one in about 90 degree temps TO THE ZOO with his cowboy boots: then, he was people (Sammy Sosa all one summer and would only wear Sammy's uniform---we bought 2 so we could wash and this went on about 3 months LITERALLY--- you called him , he corrected you----we called him , then SAMMY!------ --the phases ALL pass!!!! EXCEPT, he IS a sports nut; good at basketball (himself), and has a football team, basketball team, golf star, and baseball team that he follows and

knows everything (SERIOUSLY) about them and their histories (as well as a lot of other teams but he will make an amazing recruiter, scout, something like that one day----he is AMAZING with this information and it has grown us all together as a family!WE TOOK HIM TO SEE LEBRON JAMES play basketball and had 19th row seats (Christmas 2006---still best Christmas ever for our family and may always be!). We all had jerseys, and we just went with it. He has ENRICHED ALL OUR LIVES (our son!). We watch more sports than we ever would have ourselves, and really, the 'weirdness' obsessiveness is just NOT the same---really, it is VERY MANLY and NORMAL NOW!!!!! MEN chatting sound just like our son! Our 8 year old Aspies is obsessed with office supplies and we have had to handle him differently as he takes my stuff all the time (which IS stealing) and I can NEVER FIND ANYTHING! We have dealt

with IT differently. He also is obsessed with dressing up (suits) but his phase is 2nd grade and now; he LOOKS GREAT IN A SUIT (we say that because our 7 year old whom is N.T. doesn't really!); however, it makes him WEIRD / different and NOT LIKE HIS CLASSMATES IN 3rd grade, so part of his waiver programming includes THAT, and last year, we limited him to once per week; this year, twice he has been allowed to wear a suit----as HE NEEDS TO FIT IN so that is what we are supporting. SO, basically, if it is something harmless to the child, at their age, (long vs short hair; pants v. shorts even if hot, HARMLESS!) then do it; if it will make other kids tease them because of their age then, is outside of your home, something like that, we have been advised to 'keep it at home' and work with them on that (we point it out in public, etc.----show them that OTHERS are NOT doing as he does at

home---type of thing). HOPE THAT HELPS! Good Luck Ruthie Dolezal

Aspergers TreatmentFrom: fnofsportshotmail (DOT) comDate: Sun, 14 Feb 2010 22:21:44 -0600Subject: RE: ( ) Two Questions

1) Peoples opinions will vary but generally it seems to do more harm then good to discourage obsessions. Legos can help with creativity and making friends too, things that will help him later on in life. 2) Definately don't stop him from doing what he likes to do, but if it gets to the point where he no longer likes it near as much and wants to quit... I donno.

From: caitlinwray@ .caDate: Mon, 15 Feb 2010 01:42:02 +0000Subject: ( ) Two Questions

I am in the early stages of researching Aspergers (my son was diagnosed 4 days ago) but there are two questions I would really really appreciate an answer for if you've had any experience with these areas:1) should we be actively limiting or discouraging his intense fascinations? Currently it is Lego, and mainly star wars lego. Is limiting or avoiding his fascinations good or bad for him?2) should we be reconsidering the music lessons he's been getting (used to be suzuki violin and he recently moved to piano - his own request) - does this just add more stress and pressure and require more mental effort that he could otherwise be redirecting to managing his Aspergers? Or is this good for him?Thanks very much!!!!CaitlinEmbracing change as a blessing in disguise at www.welcome- to-normal. com

Hotmail: Free, trusted and rich email service. Get it now.