Re: how to respond

[Guest guest]

Wow, you seem really frustrated. How old is your son? How long has this been going on? Is it new or has your son pretty much always been like this? Don't know if you've tried what I propose, but it's worth suggesting, I think. It may be worth getting a book that details what I'm superficially relaying to you.  You might consider creating a very specific  rule about  questions. Also, do not impose the rule for a sold week after it's made. You need to give your son a solid week to digest the rule and be able to ask you questions about the rule before it's implemented. Basically, you need him to memorize the rule.

 Is it that your son asks questions non-stop, or that he doesn't like your answer and requires more from you? ( I also wonder if he has general anxiety and this is how it's manifesting itself?)

I also wonder if your son would do better if he had a daily visual schedule to adhere to? However, with things like dinner that can't always be put on a schedule, this could be an opportunity to teach him about flexibility?

Consider this rule: When you receive an answer to a question you've asked you may ask only 2 follow up questions. After that if you still want to ask another question, you may look up your question at: www.howeverythingworks.org.   (assuming you would allow that).

Since you mentioned you have a behaviorist coming to your home already, have they been helpful at all? Have you asked them what to do in response to your problem? What is he/she telling you to do?

On Mon, Mar 28, 2011 at 9:04 PM, Theresa Stoops <houndlover2@...> wrote:

 

my son has once again drove me over the wall.

First we have a behavior specialist that comes 1x every 2 weeks which really is not enough.

My son thinks everything should be his way of course.

Every night when is dinner, etc.

We have set up basic rules that when I say end of story that means drop it.

Often used when I give an answer he does not want to except, he will keep on asking it saying I have not answered the question.

 

Tonight was over dinner when it would be, etc.

Ended up him calling me lazy, etc.

Yes I had said end of story but that did not work.

He thinks everything should be when he wants it, etc.

I try to explain that the house does not run on his wants.

 

I cannot except my child calling me names and just ignore it. There must be a sense of some sort of respect to adults regardless of

his Aspergers. No boss is going to put up with that, no wife will either.

 

so once again I took his computer knowing darn well it will not change his behavior but at the same time I feel if I do Nothing then I

am saying it is ok for you to talk to me anyway you wish.

I would not put up with it from my other children either

 

Theresa StoopsCoordinator OfFlorida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group 850-408-3789 God Bless All Military Families We All Hope On Your Safe Return Home.

[Guest guest]

This is good advice. Also, if my son is repeating something, I ask him "what did I already say?" And I have it say it to me. That seems to help him process it and quit asking.Suzanne (in Mi)Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: "Catcelia" <c2cats@...>Sender: Date: Tue, 29 Mar 2011 13:20:29 -0000< >Reply Subject: ( ) Re: how to respond Our son would ask us the same question over and over again. One counselor told us to limit our son to asking the same (or similar) question 2x before telling him to think about what we had already answered because our answer was not going to change then move on to another topic. It was difficult at first but this technique finally helped stop the endless questioning.As to the disrespect you are right not to tolerate it. I advise spelling out the rules to your son (no name calling, polite toward others, your house - your rules, etc) because he may not truly understand the general concept of respect. I would also spell out the consequences if he disregards your rules. Caroline>> my son has once again drove me over the wall.> First we have a behavior specialist that comes 1x every 2 weeks which really is not enough.> My son thinks everything should be his way of course.> Every night when is dinner, etc.> We have set up basic rules that when I say end of story that means drop it.> Often used when I give an answer he does not want to except, he will keep on asking it saying I have not answered the question.> > Tonight was over dinner when it would be, etc.> Ended up him calling me lazy, etc.> Yes I had said end of story but that did not work.> He thinks everything should be when he wants it, etc. > I try to explain that the house does not run on his wants. > > I cannot except my child calling me names and just ignore it. There must be a sense of some sort of respect to adults regardless of > his Aspergers. No boss is going to put up with that, no wife will either.> > so once again I took his computer knowing darn well it will not change his behavior but at the same time I feel if I do Nothing then I > am saying it is ok for you to talk to me anyway you wish.> I would not put up with it from my other children either> > Theresa Stoops> Coordinator Of> Florida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group > 850-408-3789> God Bless All Military Families We All Hope On Your Safe Return Home.>

[Guest guest]

wow your son sounds like my boyfriend son he 15 we would here stuff like it not his job to clean up that would be so annoying he has gotten better they think everything about them i'm hoping in time they willget a little more flexiable with there view on thing i'm probably wrong

From: Theresa Stoops <houndlover2@...>Subject: ( ) how to respond Date: Tuesday, March 29, 2011, 1:04 AM

my son has once again drove me over the wall.

First we have a behavior specialist that comes 1x every 2 weeks which really is not enough.

My son thinks everything should be his way of course.

Every night when is dinner, etc.

We have set up basic rules that when I say end of story that means drop it.

Often used when I give an answer he does not want to except, he will keep on asking it saying I have not answered the question.

Tonight was over dinner when it would be, etc.

Ended up him calling me lazy, etc.

Yes I had said end of story but that did not work.

He thinks everything should be when he wants it, etc.

I try to explain that the house does not run on his wants.

I cannot except my child calling me names and just ignore it. There must be a sense of some sort of respect to adults regardless of

his Aspergers. No boss is going to put up with that, no wife will either.

so once again I took his computer knowing darn well it will not change his behavior but at the same time I feel if I do Nothing then I

am saying it is ok for you to talk to me anyway you wish.

I would not put up with it from my other children either

Theresa StoopsCoordinator OfFlorida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group 850-408-3789 God Bless All Military Families We All Hope On Your Safe Return Home.

[Guest guest]

We are going Friday for a diagnosis.....we are pretty sure it will be Asperger's or High Functioning Autism.

My son constantly tells my sister to shut up......not necessarily when she is talking. Just walks by and nonchalantly tells her to shut up or calls her stupid. Drives her nuts. I go over the fact that he shouldn't talk to her like that, but she gets fustrated and yells at him.

I swear I think if is a habit instead of just being rude. I have 4 kids and it is chaos it someone comes over because they all want to talk and interrupt each other. He finall just says Your stupid or shut up to my sister. One day he jumped up and down in front of her and said Do you see me, hey hey do you see me? and her response was in a yelling voice. Yes I see you, stop it I see you. I had to choke back the tears he just wanted to be noticed and she didn't really respond like I thought she should.

Myke

From: suzmarkwood@... <suzmarkwood@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: how to respond Date: Tuesday, March 29, 2011, 2:51 PM

This is good advice. Also, if my son is repeating something, I ask him "what did I already say?" And I have it say it to me. That seems to help him process it and quit asking.Suzanne (in Mi)

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

From: "Catcelia" <c2cats@...>

Sender:

Date: Tue, 29 Mar 2011 13:20:29 -0000

< >

Reply

Subject: ( ) Re: how to respond

Our son would ask us the same question over and over again. One counselor told us to limit our son to asking the same (or similar) question 2x before telling him to think about what we had already answered because our answer was not going to change then move on to another topic. It was difficult at first but this technique finally helped stop the endless questioning.As to the disrespect you are right not to tolerate it. I advise spelling out the rules to your son (no name calling, polite toward others, your house - your rules, etc) because he may not truly understand the general concept of respect. I would also spell out the consequences if he disregards your rules. Caroline>> my son has once again drove me over the wall.> First we have a behavior specialist that comes 1x every 2 weeks which really is not enough.> My son thinks everything should be his way of course.> Every night when is dinner, etc.> We have set up basic rules that when I say end of story that means drop it.> Often used when I give an answer he does not want to except, he will keep on asking it saying I have not answered the question.> > Tonight was over dinner when it would be, etc.> Ended up him calling me lazy, etc.> Yes I had said end of story but that did not work.> He thinks everything should be when he wants it, etc. > I try to explain that the house does not run on his wants. > > I cannot except my child calling me names and just ignore it. There must be a sense of some sort of respect to adults regardless of > his Aspergers. No

boss is going to put up with that, no wife will either.> > so once again I took his computer knowing darn well it will not change his behavior but at the same time I feel if I do Nothing then I > am saying it is ok for you to talk to me anyway you wish.> I would not put up with it from my other children either> > Theresa Stoops> Coordinator Of> Florida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group > 850-408-3789> God Bless All Military Families We All Hope On Your Safe Return Home.>