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Re: Correcting deficits... now - social skills ?

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This is really timely for me and I'd love to hear more opinions from parents of

older children about this. Did school based social skills help your child?

My son is in 5th grade. He has social skills for 30 minutes 2x a week and is

really starting to complain about it. He says " They treat us like little kids; I

know how to be social and I just don't want to be "

He is scheduled to have even more social skills next year. Other than this

school is going well academically and okay otherwise. We have an IEP and a great

SPED teacher who has helped him get the accommodations he needs like typing his

work anytime he wants to and being able to take his work to a quiet place so

that he can success in a mainstream classroom. He has also made a good friend in

the social skills group and his class that we have had over a few times. Should

I ask to have him taken out of social skills or make him tough it out? Obviously

I will talk to the SPED teacher but I just want to get some general ideas about

how well this has worked for this age group.

I'm also starting to think (okay worry) about Middle school which I'm afraid

will be a disaster. So I'm looking at my options in general from neighborhood

school with support, to partial home school, to private school... what else is

there.

>

> my son DESPISED the social skills people. He didn't want to act

> " appropriate " for these idiots, in his mind. Now, he is in a Linux users

> group at the college and tries SO hard to act appropriate, fit in, do what

> is expected, etc. He WANTS to do it in this setting. He doesn't want to be

> seen as different to these " peers " and wants to be a " team player " with

> them.

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How in the world did you manage to get social skills based in the school????? I'm so jealous.From: tracyandjamie94 <tracyandjamie@...> Sent: Fri, February 4, 2011 1:44:57 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Correcting deficits... now - social

skills ?

This is really timely for me and I'd love to hear more opinions from parents of older children about this. Did school based social skills help your child?

My son is in 5th grade. He has social skills for 30 minutes 2x a week and is really starting to complain about it. He says "They treat us like little kids; I know how to be social and I just don't want to be"

He is scheduled to have even more social skills next year. Other than this school is going well academically and okay otherwise. We have an IEP and a great SPED teacher who has helped him get the accommodations he needs like typing his work anytime he wants to and being able to take his work to a quiet place so that he can success in a mainstream classroom. He has also made a good friend in the social skills group and his class that we have had over a few times. Should I ask to have him taken out of social skills or make him tough it out? Obviously I will talk to the SPED teacher but I just want to get some general ideas about how well this has worked for this age group.

I'm also starting to think (okay worry) about Middle school which I'm afraid will be a disaster. So I'm looking at my options in general from neighborhood school with support, to partial home school, to private school... what else is there.

>

> my son DESPISED the social skills people. He didn't want to act

> "appropriate" for these idiots, in his mind. Now, he is in a Linux users

> group at the college and tries SO hard to act appropriate, fit in, do what

> is expected, etc. He WANTS to do it in this setting. He doesn't want to be

> seen as different to these "peers" and wants to be a "team player" with

> them.

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We had mixed experience with social skills groups at school. At the elementary

level they were mainly about turn taking and conversation chains. It tended to

be one group per grade. In middle school the counselor had a few groups of kids

and mixed them based on ability and needs. The counselor had stuff like role

playing and video recorded the kids in the role playing so that they could see

themselves then talk about it. There was also some time spent talking about how

to act at a dance and other social situations that they hadn't encountered

before. In high school the groups are more about learning a bit more social

grace. I would say that my son benefitted a bit from the elementary level ones

and he got a lot out of the middle school one. I'm not sure what he's getting

out of the high school one. I'm lucky if I hear anything about his day other

than " fine. "

Caroline

> >

> > my son DESPISED the social skills people. He didn't want to act

> > " appropriate " for these idiots, in his mind. Now, he is in a Linux users

> > group at the college and tries SO hard to act appropriate, fit in, do what

> > is expected, etc. He WANTS to do it in this setting. He doesn't want to be

> > seen as different to these " peers " and wants to be a " team player " with

> > them.

>

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Hi ,

When my son was in the lower grades. social skills was very helpful for him. I even thought the N.T. kids can use it as well. I also kept him busy in sports and other activities. As he got older more kids joined his social skill group making him the older kid and the young ones needing more help then him. so he also said he didn't want to go because the kids act too silly and he's more advanced. (even though he still needed the social skills class) but not that one. unless let let him be a helper - but he didnt' want that. they let him in the older group which was awesome! they picked out a movie for the next week, how much they would need for the movie, lunch and snack. parents dropped their kids off at a location that the kids picked and they all had a few hours out. after the movies they went to a restaurant and ate lunch together. that was just what my son needed. then

the program ran out of funds. ugh! we tried a different social skills group which ended up to be like the first one that he out grew. right now - I'm working on social skills with him...

I guess my point is: you have to shop around for a social skills group that fits your sons needs. I guess it's like finding a good doctor or a good lawyer.

best luck to you and your son

Rose

From: tracyandjamie94 <tracyandjamie@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Correcting deficits... now - social skills ? Date: Friday, February 4, 2011, 2:44 PM

This is really timely for me and I'd love to hear more opinions from parents of older children about this. Did school based social skills help your child?My son is in 5th grade. He has social skills for 30 minutes 2x a week and is really starting to complain about it. He says "They treat us like little kids; I know how to be social and I just don't want to be"He is scheduled to have even more social skills next year. Other than this school is going well academically and okay otherwise. We have an IEP and a great SPED teacher who has helped him get the accommodations he needs like typing his work anytime he wants to and being able to take his work to a quiet place so that he can success in a mainstream classroom. He has also made a good friend in the social skills group and his class that we have had over a few times. Should I ask to have him taken out of social skills or make him tough it out? Obviously I will talk to the SPED teacher

but I just want to get some general ideas about how well this has worked for this age group.I'm also starting to think (okay worry) about Middle school which I'm afraid will be a disaster. So I'm looking at my options in general from neighborhood school with support, to partial home school, to private school... what else is there.>> my son DESPISED the social skills people. He didn't want to act> "appropriate" for these idiots, in his mind. Now, he is in a Linux users> group at the college and tries SO hard to act appropriate, fit in, do what> is expected, etc. He WANTS to do it in this setting. He doesn't want to be> seen as different

to these "peers" and wants to be a "team player" with> them.

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My son attends social skills groups outside of school, and they are really

helping with a lot of things. They asked for some input from the parents on

specific problems they have had socially with other kids, and they are gearing

their topics towards these things. It also helps tremendously that they are run

by a young guy who plays in a rock band, and the kids consider him " cool " . He

will never admit that he likes them, though the last time he came out and said

" that was so awesome! " Now in his middle school, they are going to start a

Skillstreaming Program for social skills, and I hope they will have someone they

consider to be " cool " running this also!

> > >

> > > my son DESPISED the social skills people. He didn't want to act

> > > " appropriate " for these idiots, in his mind. Now, he is in a Linux users

> > > group at the college and tries SO hard to act appropriate, fit in, do what

> > > is expected, etc. He WANTS to do it in this setting. He doesn't want to

be

> > > seen as different to these " peers " and wants to be a " team player " with

> > > them.

> >

>

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Our SPED depts' provide it once a week in the classroom with other kids "like" them.

Robin

......A rich man is not one who has the most,

but who needs the least.....

From: Fawn Kazmierczak <lostfranklingirl@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Correcting deficits... now - social skills ? Date: Friday, February 4, 2011, 3:51 PM

How in the world did you manage to get social skills based in the school????? I'm so jealous.

From: tracyandjamie94 <tracyandjamie@...> Sent: Fri, February 4, 2011 1:44:57 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Correcting deficits... now - social skills ?

This is really timely for me and I'd love to hear more opinions from parents of older children about this. Did school based social skills help your child?My son is in 5th grade. He has social skills for 30 minutes 2x a week and is really starting to complain about it. He says "They treat us like little kids; I know how to be social and I just don't want to be"He is scheduled to have even more social skills next year. Other than this school is going well academically and okay otherwise. We have an IEP and a great SPED teacher who has helped him get the accommodations he needs like typing his work anytime he wants to and being able to take his work to a quiet place so that he can success in a mainstream classroom. He has also made a good friend in the social skills group and his class that we have had over a few times. Should I ask to have him taken out of social skills or make him tough it out? Obviously I will talk to the SPED teacher

but I just want to get some general ideas about how well this has worked for this age group.I'm also starting to think (okay worry) about Middle school which I'm afraid will be a disaster. So I'm looking at my options in general from neighborhood school with support, to partial home school, to private school... what else is there.>> my son DESPISED the social skills people. He didn't want to act> "appropriate" for these idiots, in his mind. Now, he is in a Linux users> group at the college and tries SO hard to act appropriate, fit in, do what> is expected, etc. He WANTS to do it in this setting. He doesn't want to be> seen as different

to these "peers" and wants to be a "team player" with> them.

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We were lucky, the skills groups had been in place for a few years before we

started at the school. The skills groups are only in a few elementary schools

in the district and they move the kids who need the groups into those schools.

For someone else who asked about schools earlier we are in Evergreen School

district in Southwest Washington state (metropolitan Portland, Oregon. Our

experience in the district had been short but so far they have been remarkably

accommodating and helpful to us. Hopefully the upcoming budget cuts don't

change that too much.

> >

> > my son DESPISED the social skills people. He didn't want to act

> > " appropriate " for these idiots, in his mind. Now, he is in a Linux users

> > group at the college and tries SO hard to act appropriate, fit in, do what

> > is expected, etc. He WANTS to do it in this setting. He doesn't want to be

> > seen as different to these " peers " and wants to be a " team player " with

> > them.

>

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Is it a specific program that they use that I could use if I started a social group here?

In a message dated 2/6/2011 7:27:07 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, tracyandjamie@... writes:

We were lucky, the skills groups had been in place for a few years before we started at the school. The skills groups are only in a few elementary schools in the district and they move the kids who need the groups into those schools.For someone else who asked about schools earlier we are in Evergreen School district in Southwest Washington state (metropolitan Portland, Oregon. Our experience in the district had been short but so far they have been remarkably accommodating and helpful to us. Hopefully the upcoming budget cuts don't change that too much.> >> > my son DESPISED the social skills people. He didn't want to act> > "appropriate" for these idiots, in his mind. Now, he is in a Linux users> > group at the college and tries SO hard to act appropriate, fit in, do what> > is expected, etc. He WANTS to do it in this setting. He doesn't want to be> > seen as different to these "peers" and wants to be a "team player" with> > them.>

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It's possible that the person or the program is just not what he needs. Sometimes they promote a "social skills" program but it's really just a manners class taught extra slow. lol. Or it is a program where they push all the kids with "problems" socializing so that it becomes a generic sort of experience. Or the person teaching it is just there to make sure everyone knows how to be nice and "feel good" about who they are. So the goal is not the same as actually teaching social SKILLS vs. teaching how to be a nice person.

Also, each of our kids is unique in their own way. So the same approach will not always work for all of them. One thing to do is discuss in depth what social skills are being taught and how. Ask to see the curriculum. Who is teaching it? Is it someone that works well with your child? Your child should have social goals on the IEP. Are those being addressed, taught? Is he learning those skills? They also should have a way to monitor and cue these skills in real life situations. Is that happening?

If it's just an hour a week to talk about how to be nice to your classmates? Maybe not a good deal. Talk to the school staff and find out the program and goals and see if it suits your child's needs.

School groups can be helpful if they are designed the right way! And I think who is teaching them is so important!! As your ds gets older, being around a "cool" teacher for social skills is more important as well. Someone who makes social skills something fun and interesting instead of a dreary class of rules.

Roxanna

“Our lives begin to end the day we

become silent about things that matter.†- Luther King, Jr.

Re: ( ) Correcting deficits... now - social skills ?

This is really timely for me and I'd love to hear more opinions from parents of older children about this. Did school based social skills help your child?

My son is in 5th grade. He has social skills for 30 minutes 2x a week and is really starting to complain about it. He says "They treat us like little kids; I know how to be social and I just don't want to be"

He is scheduled to have even more social skills next year. Other than this school is going well academically and okay otherwise. We have an IEP and a great SPED teacher who has helped him get the accommodations he needs like typing his work anytime he wants to and being able to take his work to a quiet place so that he can success in a mainstream classroom. He has also made a good friend in the social skills group and his class that we have had over a few times. Should I ask to have him taken out of social skills or make him tough it out? Obviously I will talk to the SPED teacher but I just want to get some general ideas about how well this has worked for this age group.

I'm also starting to think (okay worry) about Middle school which I'm afraid will be a disaster. So I'm looking at my options in general from neighborhood school with support, to partial home school, to private school... what else is there.

>

> my son DESPISED the social skills people. He didn't want to act

> "appropriate" for these idiots, in his mind. Now, he is in a Linux users

> group at the college and tries SO hard to act appropriate, fit in, do what

> is expected, etc. He WANTS to do it in this setting. He doesn't want to be

> seen as different to these "peers" and wants to be a "team player" with

> them.

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I agree! She has great great stuff! I have heard her speak a few times and it is well worth the effort to hear her. One time, I let everyone know she was coming and some teachers and ST's also came. The ST we use now was one of them and she is great!

Roxanna

“Our lives begin to end the day we

become silent about things that matter.†- Luther King, Jr.

Re: ( ) Correcting deficits... now - social skills ?

This is really timely for me and I'd love to hear more opinions from parents of older children about this. Did school based social skills help your child?

My son is in 5th grade. He has social skills for 30 minutes 2x a week and is really starting to complain about it. He says "They treat us like little kids; I know how to be social and I just don't want to be"

He is scheduled to have even more social skills next year. Other than this school is going well academically and okay otherwise. We have an IEP and a great SPED teacher who has helped him get the accommodations he needs like typing his work anytime he wants to and being able to take his work to a quiet place so that he can success in a mainstream classroom. He has also made a good friend in the social skills group and his class that we have had over a few times. Should I ask to have him taken out of social skills or make him tough it out? Obviously I will talk to the SPED teacher but I just want to get some general ideas about how well this has worked for this age group.

I'm also starting to think (okay worry) about Middle school which I'm afraid will be a disaster. So I'm looking at my options in general from neighborhood school with support, to partial home school, to private school... what else is there.

>

> my son DESPISED the social skills people. He didn't want to act

> "appropriate" for these idiots, in his mind. Now, he is in a Linux users

> group at the college and tries SO hard to act appropriate, fit in, do what

> is expected, etc. He WANTS to do it in this setting. He doesn't want to be

> seen as different to these "peers" and wants to be a "team player" with

> them.

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Hi! I just wanted to say that my 11 y/o son also attends social skills groups

outside of school,and I think they are really right on with targeting the

behaviors that a lot of other AS boys his age are dealing with. And, they do

have a young man who plays in a rock band who runs these groups, so the kids

think he is very cool. It is all boys in his group, and so they can also

discuss " guy rules " , which is something that my son desperately needs help with.

Now they are going to start a social skills group in his school...has anyone

ever heard of the Skillstreaming Program? I know it will not be run by anyone

who the kids consider " cool " , so I am not so sure this will help at all, but we

will try it.

> >

> > my son DESPISED the social skills people. He didn't want to act

> > " appropriate " for these idiots, in his mind. Now, he is in a Linux users

> > group at the college and tries SO hard to act appropriate, fit in, do what

> > is expected, etc. He WANTS to do it in this setting. He doesn't want to be

> > seen as different to these " peers " and wants to be a " team player " with

> > them.

>

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