wake up to bullying/E.C. Bernard

[Guest guest]

Roxanna,

Move over,  there is a  long  line of us standing next to you

screaming in horror!

I just googled  both the FOX show and the Today show to see the

videos.

I am shaking my head at how there are three adults and a camera

on the bus, but the school apparently had done nothing to determine who the

bullies are?

This is going on in the bus, and the three adults do nothing ? 

It’s south Florida, even if by some stretch it is true that the two bus aides

do not speak a word of English (sounds like an exaggeration, no?) they can still

report to someone the names/video stills of the offenders.   They communicated

with someone in order to get hired, so surely they can communicate.    Why are

there two bus aides?  Have they tried to report it?  What is their function on

that bus?  Are the buses contracted out and the school doesn’t handle bus

situations?

I wonder, how  long has this been going on?  How long ago did

Dad notify the school? Did he contact the right person?  Leave a message?

I think every school needs a page in their student handbook and

on their website and around the building about how to report bullying.

Did they identify the school, past being a middle school bus?

 I noticed that the news folks all talk about his anger, but

what about his frustration?  What about his hurt about not being able to

protect his daughter who has extra challenges as she has CP?  I know that the

father of the  boy in my class that I wrote about  openly wept at our awards

ceremony when I asked all of the anonymous volunteers in  our protection

project to stand.  HE wept because he had felt so powerless to protect his son

and yet this group of 12 and 13 year olds quietly did so.  How awful for any

parent to feel so powerless.

Also, when I have listened to students who have observed another

being bullied, they also are traumatized, fearing they may be next, and many

create rituals in the hopes if they do ever thing right, they won’t be the next

target.  Students who volunteered to be a part of our class solution to Jordan’s

bullying told me that they have been waiting for some adult to do something and

that they wanted to help rather than watch someone be so hurt.

So Roxanna, I am honored that you feel that you learned enough

from my little book to know that the ‘experts’  are only partially right.

My goal is to educate the schools and the parents of victims.

 Next summer I will be presenting to the national guidance

counselor association’s conference on this topic.

 In December I am presenting to a group of youth leaders in Indiana. 

 I am giving a presentation to the parents of  local ASD group here in PA in a

few weeks.

 I have begun to contact state agencies in charge of looking at

this issue, am asking anyone who reads the book to pass it on to a local school

or library, and am trying to start a quiet grass roots movement.  I will be

looking into grants that  might fund getting the book into schools and local

libraries.  Any suggestions as to which organization  might help with that

would be welcomed.   Another friend thought that churches might be interested

in helping parents, but I haven’t looked into that yet. 

Meanwhile, news stories like this are heart-wrenching.  If

anyone can find the name of the school and/or the mailing address for the Dad,

let me know and I will forward the book to them.  The ugly truth is that

children with different challenges tend to be the victims of bullying and it is

up to us to protect them.

E.C. Bernard

www.ecbernard.org

Did

any of you see Fox and Friends this morning? It's a morning news talk

show on Fox News. They had a news story of a father screaming at a bus

load of kids and threatening them with death if they touched his daughter

again. His daughter has CP and apparently, the kids on the bus were

bullying her - putting condoms on her head, pulling body parts, poking, calling

her names. so the dad got on the bus and started screaming at the kids

and told them to knock it off or else. Apparently, the bus cam can catch

the father screaming. I wonder if the camera caught the kids bullying?

This man needs a good sped lawyer to get his hands on those video's. Now

the father is being prosecuted. He had already gone to the school, asking

for help. The school put two non-English speaking adults on the bus to

help the situation...which did nothing. Even the bus driver is sitting

there ignoring the situation as the father is screaming.

I was just so upset after seeing this news clip and the resulting

discussion. They had an " expert " on there, E.C., and I just

screamed at the tv. The guy said all the same trite and useless

things they all say. He said, " The father feels guilty " for

having a child with a disability. (That's why he snapped...ugh, they so

do not get it!!) and said we have to teach these kids (the bullied) to be more

self-reliant. (Improve their self esteem...I was screaming, " We

could improve her self-esteem better if those kids were not so effectively

ripping it to shreds every day on the bus! " morons!) And

really, this girl bravely got on the bus every day, knowing she would be teased

and bullied. I don't think she needs a lesson to learn

self-reliance.

And of course, " Contact the school " for help. Which parents

SHOULD DO, and which he did. But which accomplished nothing. There

is only one E.C. in the world! <g> But the school staff were

obviously doing nothing to stop the problem. The " expert "

should have said " contact the school and threaten a lawsuit " to get

their attention. Only then will they take it seriously.

And finally, the expert came up with the biggest waste of time, " The

father should talk to the parents of the kids who are bullying. " The

expert admonished that the parent has to approach this situation the right

way. Oh please! What a disaster! Can you imagine a parent who

has a child covered in condoms on a daily basis trying to say to another

parent, " That's not nice. " The situation is so beyond

that. And the school staff should have hauled these parents in to discuss

it long ago and then kicked these kids off the bus until they stopped.

This is not something the parent should be doing. You are just setting up

the same situation. Many times, these parents will defend their little

darling to the death and are bully's themselves. You should not do

this! You have no idea if you will be talking to reasonable parent who

cares or one who is going to slug you for suggestion little ny is not an

angel. I couldn't believe he suggested that.

Then there was discussion about the " poor kids " on the bus who were

" traumatized " by the parent screaming at them. I LOL.

These kids were not traumatized and frankly, they deserved more than they

got! A parent screaming at them? They see more trauma on you-tube,

frankly. They are not stupid - they can understand

" cause/effect " relationships. It was just the height of nonsense

to hear them discuss this angle. I was disgusted. I thought about

being on that bus as a student and I would have been thinking, " Thank God

someone is finally doing something with these mean kids! " I think it

is more " taxing " on the kids to have no adult solving the problem or

in charge - to just be lost at sea on a bus with mob rule. What is more

traumatizing than that? Seeing a parent yelling to leave his kid alone is

traumatizing? I was so disgusted.

Then the " expert " said that the girl is on suicide watch now - and he

alluded that this is because the father screamed at the bully's on the

bus. Oh yes, that is what sent her over the edge. It wasn't the

constant daily torture that she dealt with and then finally having her dad flip

out over it. AUGH! Can you tell I was yelling at the tv?

(Maybe that's the first sign of senility or old age or mental illness or

something? Yikes!) lol.

I realized after reading your book, E.C., that I knew more than this

" expert " about bullying. And I just felt so bad for the father

in this situation. I remember standing in an office once being told,

" We realize he was upset when they pushed his head into the window and

wouldn't let him go, but we just can't have him screaming on the bus like

that. " (Made me wonder who had the learning disability, lol) I

just relived that moment and wanted to scream at these people who don't get

it. I wish I was really rich to send this man money to hire a good

attorney. Ugh. I hope he gets a good atty just from the publicity

his case is getting. He deserves it. Anyway, I got up and sent an

email to the show and let off steam. lol. what a way to wake up

today!

Roxanna

" I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the

government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking

care of them. " - Jefferson