Re: Am I going about this right?

[Guest guest]

You are being very compassionate! You are teaching your son to care

about his cousin. You are being a loving, kind, caring person.

The schools should have a small lunchroom setting for kids with

special needs. They should have a teacher eat with them and

help faciliate conversations. But only some of the special

education schools do this. And only very compassionate public

schools do this.

In the long term they have to find something for your nephew.

This problem won't get better most likely. Your relative will

have to really advocate greatly for an alternate lunch setting.

I find at our school, they were willing to give support for

academics but for social issues they were not. They were more

willing to pay and send her to a special ed school then

do something about social issues.

You are a very special person. I do not find many adults

even in Girl Scouts or Relgion classes that want to help

kids with special needs.

Since your relative has to advocate for a better solution

since your son won't always be able to help in this way.

I would tell your son it is just for the short term and

give him lots of praise for being so kind. I would not

force him (such as punish him) but give him lots of praise and maybe a small

incentive when he does for showing kindness.

I think you can find ways to help your nephew and not affect

your son's social life too much.

The more your nephew is able to socialize with other kids such

as your son the better your nephew will fair.

Your nephew will learn to be flexible with your son because he

wants to be with him.

We have relatives that have been very kids to my daughter.

They have saved her childhood. She is very verbal and says

how lonely she is. She says how much she loves her cousins.

You are doing a very very kind act. And so is your son.

You are a wonderful and amazing person!

Pam

>

> Hi! I am new to this group. My nephew and Niece both have AS. My nephew is

10.

>

> This is the issue. This year my nephew started going to school where my kids

go. The district is better than his old one. My son is the same age as my

nephew. My nephew is being treated pretty crappy by other students, my son

included. I nipped that in the bud as soon as I found out with my son. I

explained to him what AS is and how K is different. I am trying to teach my son

empathy. They are not in the same class, but have lunch and recess together.

>

> I contacted the principal about what my nephew was telling me. She spoke with

the kids etc. However, there is one kid, my sons best friend, who is in the

same class. He is tormenting K daily. I finally called this kids mom last

night. She had no idea what was going on.

>

> K sits by himself at lunch and plays by himself outside. He tried getting

involved with the kids that play soccer to be told he kicked like a girl and

they didn't want him playing. My son plays football outside and K is too afraid

to try.

>

> Last night I told my son that he must sit with him at lunch. My son is the

one who told me he sits by himself. Is this wrong of me to force him to sit

with him? I don't think it is too much to ask of him.

>

> I am stuck in a position where I don't want my nephew feeling so lonely but I

don't want my son to resent me. I think I am doing the right thing. I just

don't know what to do...

>