condescending Emails from sons teacher~

[Guest guest]

Augh I am at the end of my rope so help me.

Ashton is in 1st grade and while we are still here fighting for an IEP, (he

was diagnosed a year ago with adhd, and odd and then in July diagnosed with

aspergers) he has regular shut downs in class and goes into stimulation overload

causig him to put his head down or crawl under the desk. The solution in the

schools eyes is to send him to the office where he sits and does nothing or

helps the secretary shred papers, and when they ask him if he is ready to return

to class he says no! So there he sits, usually 95 percent of the day.

After missing 45 days of school last year because they would call me to come and

get him as they did not know how to handle him, and still refusing him an eval

for an IEP, principal states " I dont think he is suffering educationally "

hmmmmmm 45 days of school missed...so I fought and fought and fought and fought

and NOW he is finally getting evaluated. However they have already told me he

will not get a para for 1 on 1 and will most likely send him to the office

still!

(ok whole other story)

So Ashton hates going to school I literally have to bargain with him, and as you

know most aspies have their own rules so this morning I wrote a letter to his

teacher and told her if he was on his best behavior today he could go with me to

the basketball game tonight. Then he asked if he was good if he could make a

paper airplane, and I included that as well.......OK so these teachers and

school have never dealt with kids on the spectrum and do NOT know how nor do

they try to research them and yet I get a letter today as follows:

Thank you for sending me a note about the reward you have promised Ashton today.

Let's change the wording for his behaviors from " being good " to doing his first

grade job. It makes the expectation specific. I use that wording for Ashton

and all my students in class. I always ask him what is your job right now.

Therefore, if he is doing his first grade job all day then he will get to go to

JH basketball game with Mom.

Also, your second sentence talked about playing with paper airplanes. Playing

with paper airplanes is not a possibility in the classroom. Please don't make

possibility promises connected to the classroom and his behavior. First,

promising him a possibility of something is setting him up for failure. Second,

it is not something that you can follow through on. At conferences, let's talk

about rewards that are acceptable and appropriate that we all agree upon.

Thanks,

I was steaming after I read this, for one I was thinking he could do a paper

airplane during recess as he does not go to recess, he did not want to fly it

just make it as he LOVES art... I am just ready to be done with this school as a

month ago was his birthday and I received the first letter from his teacher

bashing me into the ground so this is the second letter I am receiving..

The first one was his birthday and he had a major meltdown resulting in missing

the bus so when I took him he asked me if I could bring him cupcakes and I told

him I would " try " no guarantees and I knew sugar at school not a good idea and I

did not want to make it worse well low and behold he came home that day with

cupcakes.....I called and thanked the school (not to mention I had lost my great

uncle the day before so things were insane oh and the other 5 boys in our

household helps with the stress augh) The next morning I get this email about

how I should NEVER promise cupcakes to him and that all day became about the

cupcakes and how I was tearing down what they are building up....lol little did

they know but the next day guess what...he demanded cupcakes again ha ha they

did it to themselves..no one called me and asked me about the cupcakes they just

assumed and I told her the next day I did NOT promise them to him and that with

a child with ashtons difficulties you could tell him you are going to disneyland

in 4 months and he would tell everyone he is going everyday for the next 4

months...you cannot take their word on things at least not his!

My husband and I are just very upset and unhappy with how they are handling

things and now this.....HELP!!!!