Re: my son has aspergers

[Guest guest]

Hi! I just joined this group and so far they have been very informative and helpful! This sounds like both our boys, though the 6 year old (Adjustment Disorder) is the one that throws horrible tantrums all the time and the 8 year old (PDD) is the one who doesn't bring his planner home and forgets his homework all the time and I have caught him just guessing at some of the answers for his Math homework too. That is unusual because he is really good at the Math, but sometimes he just does NOT want to do the work. I don't have much advice as I am struggling with them, having Asperger's myself. I think our 8 year old also definitely has it, but we try not to label the boys too much. Good luck!

In a message dated 10/21/2010 4:18:19 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, tcstm267@... writes:

My son is 10yrs old and it is so hard dealing with it. He throws these really bad fits when he is upset and is having a real hard time in school. I don't know how to help him and me. I just got a phone call from his school that he doesn't hand in his homework and when he does his work all he does is guess.

[Guest guest]

One thing that can help all kids, particulary kids with Aspergers, is to let them know the schedule way ahead of time, and to also let them know what you expect them to do. I think it helps because not only have you told them what they are supposed to do but with the extra warning they can prepare.

Strange thing about my son happened today. I thought he was getting better being flexible and more readily handling transitions. I think he is, but probably a large part of it is that we as parents have gotten more scheduled and routine. So yesterday my wife told my son that she wasn't going to be able to take him to OT and that Daddy was going to drive him. he immediately began working himself up. By the time this morning came he was still saying he wasn't going to go, etc.... Due to a family emergency our OT called and had to cancell. But just this simple thing of switching the drivers flipped him out. Our son is better about this sort of stuff but sometimes he'll latch on to the littlest of things and drive himself nuts. I drive the family around all over the place. Last year I drove him to school everyday. But I had never driven him to OT and that was

enough to get him bent out of shape. It can be difficult and sometime forewarning works and sometimes is makes things worse. In this case if we had just dropped the surprise change on him he probably wouldn't have cared. But he hasn't been wanting to go to OT lately so any excuse and he'll work himself up.

I guess you have to take each situation at a time. For example if we are planning a trip its good to tell him in advance. For example we told him this morning that we might take him to the shuttle launch. No problem he already wants to go. If we had surprised him he certainly would have freaked out. On the other hand take today..... and with warning he still freaked out.

From: tcstm267 <tcstm267@...>Subject: ( ) my son has aspergers Date: Thursday, October 21, 2010, 9:34 AM

My son is 10yrs old and it is so hard dealing with it. He throws these really bad fits when he is upset and is having a real hard time in school. I don't know how to help him and me. I just got a phone call from his school that he doesn't hand in his homework and when he does his work all he does is guess.

[Guest guest]

Kristie,

I forgot to mention it earlier. But I think your actually an example of how most of us hope our Aspie kids can turn out. My total goal for him is to get him to a place where he can at least have a family of his own and be loved like you are. I think its great that you've made it through this life. I think having an understanding like you do you'll be able to help your kids more and more. As they mature they'll also learn better how to maintain self control. It will happen. My son is a very loving kid but his social anxiety really holds him back. At home around the house he's not all that much different than the typical kid. So hopefully he'll be a success like you.

I'd also like to add that we all need to be careful not to confuse typcial kids versus authority behaviore with that of normal kids. I have found that there is a very fine line between when hes acting out because of his Aspergers and when he is just being kid who doesn't want to do his work. It can be very difficult to tell. I've just got to be careful not to give him a pass.

My wife and I pushed to the limit all the time with our 2 NT and 1 aspie and two Dachsunds. I can't imagine how you single gals do it. I really can't.

From: kristieannesmama@... <kristieannesmama@...>Subject: Re: ( ) my son has aspergers Date: Thursday, October 21, 2010, 6:00 PM

Hi! I just joined this group and so far they have been very informative and helpful! This sounds like both our boys, though the 6 year old (Adjustment Disorder) is the one that throws horrible tantrums all the time and the 8 year old (PDD) is the one who doesn't bring his planner home and forgets his homework all the time and I have caught him just guessing at some of the answers for his Math homework too. That is unusual because he is really good at the Math, but sometimes he just does NOT want to do the work. I don't have much advice as I am struggling with them, having Asperger's myself. I think our 8 year old also definitely has it, but we try not to label the boys too much. Good luck!

In a message dated 10/21/2010 4:18:19 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, tcstm267@... writes:

My son is 10yrs old and it is so hard dealing with it. He throws these really bad fits when he is upset and is having a real hard time in school. I don't know how to help him and me. I just got a phone call from his school that he doesn't hand in his homework and when he does his work all he does is guess.

[Guest guest]

*BIG BLUSH* Well, thank you! That is SO nice for you to say! I also have hope for my sons as well as my daughters that they will be the best they can be. Our eldest wants to be a Pastry Chef ever since she was 4 years old but our boys don't know what they want to be. Thanks again!

In a message dated 10/22/2010 8:14:25 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, southardengineering@... writes:

Kristie,

I forgot to mention it earlier. But I think your actually an example of how most of us hope our Aspie kids can turn out. My total goal for him is to get him to a place where he can at least have a family of his own and be loved like you are. I think its great that you've made it through this life. I think having an understanding like you do you'll be able to help your kids more and more. As they mature they'll also learn better how to maintain self control. It will happen. My son is a very loving kid but his social anxiety really holds him back. At home around the house he's not all that much different than the typical kid. So hopefully he'll be a success like you.

I'd also like to add that we all need to be careful not to confuse typcial kids versus authority behaviore with that of normal kids. I have found that there is a very fine line between when hes acting out because of his Aspergers and when he is just being kid who doesn't want to do his work. It can be very difficult to tell. I've just got to be careful not to give him a pass.

My wife and I pushed to the limit all the time with our 2 NT and 1 aspie and two Dachsunds. I can't imagine how you single gals do it. I really can't.

From: kristieannesmama@... <kristieannesmama@...>Subject: Re: ( ) my son has aspergers Date: Thursday, October 21, 2010, 6:00 PM

Hi! I just joined this group and so far they have been very informative and helpful! This sounds like both our boys, though the 6 year old (Adjustment Disorder) is the one that throws horrible tantrums all the time and the 8 year old (PDD) is the one who doesn't bring his planner home and forgets his homework all the time and I have caught him just guessing at some of the answers for his Math homework too. That is unusual because he is really good at the Math, but sometimes he just does NOT want to do the work. I don't have much advice as I am struggling with them, having Asperger's myself. I think our 8 year old also definitely has it, but we try not to label the boys too much. Good luck!

In a message dated 10/21/2010 4:18:19 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, tcstm267@... writes:

My son is 10yrs old and it is so hard dealing with it. He throws these really bad fits when he is upset and is having a real hard time in school. I don't know how to help him and me. I just got a phone call from his school that he doesn't hand in his homework and when he does his work all he does is guess.

[Guest guest]

Hello & Welcome,

Your son sound like mine, and many others here too. What you're dealing with is

so common. When you have the time look through all the messages here, this is a

wonderful group of people that are supportive, caring and NON judgemental.

Even though it won't change your childs diagnosis or behavior it at the least

helps to know that so many others are going through the same things as you.

I have got to admit, school is my sons biggest issue. It causes most of his

stress. One thing that has helped a bit is getting him an IEP (Individual

Education Plan) through the school. If you don't already have one in effect

please contact the school counceler. It's a little step towards getting rid of

some of our childrens daily stress.

Sincerely,

>

> My son is 10yrs old and it is so hard dealing with it. He throws these really

bad fits when he is upset and is having a real hard time in school. I don't know

how to help him and me. I just got a phone call from his school that he doesn't

hand in his homework and when he does his work all he does is guess.

>

[Guest guest]

We do the same thing about transitions and change of plans. Just a little note; Both my husband and I take our AS son and daughter (5), to school. We switch off who gets to drop who off. So we take turns. At first our AS son got all upset and didn't want to go unless Mommy dropped him off. After many trials, both kids now expect changes do happen (at least at drop off), but the message we're trying to send to our kids is that life can throw a wrench in your plans and you have to learn to adapt. It's hard on all of us.

From: "Southard Engineering, Inc." <southardengineering@...> Sent: Thu, October 21, 2010 2:28:51 PMSubject: Re: ( ) my son has aspergers

One thing that can help all kids, particulary kids with Aspergers, is to let them know the schedule way ahead of time, and to also let them know what you expect them to do. I think it helps because not only have you told them what they are supposed to do but with the extra warning they can prepare.

Strange thing about my son happened today. I thought he was getting better being flexible and more readily handling transitions. I think he is, but probably a large part of it is that we as parents have gotten more scheduled and routine. So yesterday my wife told my son that she wasn't going to be able to take him to OT and that Daddy was going to drive him. he immediately began working himself up. By the time this morning came he was still saying he wasn't going to go, etc.... Due to a family emergency our OT called and had to cancell. But just this simple thing of switching the drivers flipped him out. Our son is better about this sort of stuff but sometimes he'll latch on to the littlest of things and drive himself nuts. I drive the family around all over the place. Last year I drove him to school everyday. But I had never driven him to OT and that was

enough to get him bent out of shape. It can be difficult and sometime forewarning works and sometimes is makes things worse. In this case if we had just dropped the surprise change on him he probably wouldn't have cared. But he hasn't been wanting to go to OT lately so any excuse and he'll work himself up.

I guess you have to take each situation at a time. For example if we are planning a trip its good to tell him in advance. For example we told him this morning that we might take him to the shuttle launch. No problem he already wants to go. If we had surprised him he certainly would have freaked out. On the other hand take today..... and with warning he still freaked out.

From: tcstm267 <tcstm267@...>Subject: ( ) my son has aspergers Date: Thursday, October 21, 2010, 9:34 AM

My son is 10yrs old and it is so hard dealing with it. He throws these really bad fits when he is upset and is having a real hard time in school. I don't know how to help him and me. I just got a phone call from his school that he doesn't hand in his homework and when he does his work all he does is guess.