RE: Need to Vent re School Meeting today

[Guest guest]

I totally agree with the whole thing on the schools not wanting to help our kids, because it's easier to drive them out. I'm going through the same thing right now with my son's school. Now granted, he's being an absolute PILL lately, and I am having a hard time even at home trying to put a handle on him, but it is required BY LAW that these people educate our children. Therefore, make them for once be responsible for something that is a little out of the cookie cutter mode that they wish all students were. They were very close to convincing me to take my son out of school, until my brother in law talked me out of it, because our children NEED to learn how to interact with peers, we are not going to be able to hold their hands forever. If they're home, how

are they supposed to learn anything? At least when it comes to being around peers.

From: phowson08 <paulahowson@...> Sent: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 10:58:26 AMSubject: ( ) Need to Vent re School Meeting today

hi everyone, I just need to vent. I had a meeting this morning at my son's school this morning to review the psych testing that was completed. They were discussing the results and comparing him to the "average kid" and I had to stop them to remind them that - my son is not the average kid and the results just confirmed the diagnosis. It was everything in me to sit there calmly and listen to the crap. I was thankful that I had someone there with me representing Autism Ontario (Canada)- an advocate to support me and keep my calm and to ask for things that I may forget because as we know these meeting can be very stressful and cause us to get very emotional. Needless to say, I did well and was told that I am a great advocate for my son and we are on the right track to helping my son at school. My son is 16 and just diagnosed with AS in June of this year. The school does not provide the right support for him and have no clue what to do for

him. I was told that the school just wants to frustrate us as parents so that we pull our kids out and it is not their problem anymore. But I am not going anywhere, they have not come across anyone like me yet and they will do their job as educators. My son is very bright and needs the right people in place to help him. These people chose this profession as educators and teachers - damn well do your job. It should be a rewarding experience to help someone and what them flourish and do well. So, my son is now having more testing re speech and language pathologists to see where he is at next week. So I will keep you all updated. Thanks for listening. I feel better that I was able to get it out. a in Canada

[Guest guest]

I totally agree with what you said. Each child with AS is unique and will

learn differently. You will not meet two kids with AS who is the same. I am

going to make sure that they do their jobs and educate my son and I will do what

I am supposed to do as a parent at home.

You know they wanted my son present at the meeting to hear the psych results and

I refused. He does not need to hear the negativity. To me, its all about

being positive. Why would I want to create more anxiety for him and to feel

worse about himself. He already knows that he is different. I will go to the

ends of the earth for my son to ensure that he is successful because I know he

can.

And I am going to make sure that they do the same and I will hold them

accountable for it.

>

> I totally agree with the whole thing on the schools not wanting to help our

kids, because it's easier to drive them out.  I'm going through the same thing

right now with my son's school.  Now granted, he's being an absolute PILL

lately, and I am having a hard time even at home trying to put a handle on him,

but it is required BY LAW that these people educate our children.  Therefore,

make them for once be responsible for something that is a little out of the

cookie cutter mode that they wish all students were.  They were very close to

convincing me to take my son out of school, until my brother in law talked me

out of it, because our children NEED to learn how to interact with peers, we are

not going to be able to hold their hands forever.  If they're home, how are they

supposed to learn anything? At least when it comes to being around peers.

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: phowson08 <paulahowson@...>

>

> Sent: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 10:58:26 AM

> Subject: ( ) Need to Vent re School Meeting today

>

>  

> hi everyone,

>

> I just need to vent. I had a meeting this morning at my son's school this

morning to review the psych testing that was completed. They were discussing the

results and comparing him to the " average kid " and I had to stop them to remind

them that - my son is not the average kid and the results just confirmed the

diagnosis. It was everything in me to sit there calmly and listen to the crap. I

was thankful that I had someone there with me representing Autism Ontario

(Canada)- an advocate to support me and keep my calm and to ask for things that

I may forget because as we know these meeting can be very stressful and cause us

to get very emotional. Needless to say, I did well and was told that I am a

great advocate for my son and we are on the right track to helping my son at

school.

>

> My son is 16 and just diagnosed with AS in June of this year. The school does

not provide the right support for him and have no clue what to do for him. I was

told that the school just wants to frustrate us as parents so that we pull our

kids out and it is not their problem anymore. But I am not going anywhere, they

have not come across anyone like me yet and they will do their job as educators.

My son is very bright and needs the right people in place to help him.

>

> These people chose this profession as educators and teachers - damn well do

your job. It should be a rewarding experience to help someone and what them

flourish and do well.

>

> So, my son is now having more testing re speech and language pathologists to

see where he is at next week.

>

> So I will keep you all updated.

>

> Thanks for listening.

>

> I feel better that I was able to get it out.

>

> a in Canada

>

[Guest guest]

You go, a!!!!!

Is your son "getting" what is happening? How does he feel about finally KNOWING what he's been living?

Definitely keep us posted!!!Robin

From: phowson08 <paulahowson@...>Subject: ( ) Need to Vent re School Meeting today Date: Tuesday, October 13, 2009, 9:58 AM

hi everyone, I just need to vent. I had a meeting this morning at my son's school this morning to review the psych testing that was completed. They were discussing the results and comparing him to the "average kid" and I had to stop them to remind them that - my son is not the average kid and the results just confirmed the diagnosis. It was everything in me to sit there calmly and listen to the crap. I was thankful that I had someone there with me representing Autism Ontario (Canada)- an advocate to support me and keep my calm and to ask for things that I may forget because as we know these meeting can be very stressful and cause us to get very emotional. Needless to say, I did well and was told that I am a great advocate for my son and we are on the right track to helping my son at school. My son is 16 and just diagnosed with AS in June of this year. The school does not provide the right support for him and have no clue what to do

for him. I was told that the school just wants to frustrate us as parents so that we pull our kids out and it is not their problem anymore. But I am not going anywhere, they have not come across anyone like me yet and they will do their job as educators. My son is very bright and needs the right people in place to help him. These people chose this profession as educators and teachers - damn well do your job. It should be a rewarding experience to help someone and what them flourish and do well. So, my son is now having more testing re speech and language pathologists to see where he is at next week. So I will keep you all updated. Thanks for listening. I feel better that I was able to get it out. a in Canada __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

,

I totally agree with you....that it is the LAW that requires them to teach our kids.

I guess, for me, it's seeing that although the law may require it, not all schools DO it.

That, although the law requires it, and the school may even DO their part, that, my sons emotional well-being may not be going in a positive direction at school.

They may have to legally make accommodations for him, but they can't make others welcome him and accept him.

That's what's so sad with us, anyway.

So,,,when we yanked him out of school, he lost the "stressor"...if that makes sense.

Without the stress and frustration, he became this amazing, confident, talkative young man.

He talked with others when we went places, he started to look people in the eyes. It was almost freakish how quickly it changed.So,,,,socially,,,,,,,,,,he got better when we pulled him out. Because all that he was feeling at his school was negative. Even though they tried.........maybe not as much as they should have, but most of the people in the school did try.

Now,,,,like I said, I agree with you that we should make the teachers do what they're supposed to do,,,,,but I often wonder what really goes on behind closed doors. Especially when you, as a parent, are starting to demand things and exert your knowledge.

It scares me to think that they may take out their anger and feelings of frustration for being pushed too far by us, out on our kids.

Ugh.....makes my gut hurt.

Hugs to you,

Robin

From: Chambers <missjen0124@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Need to Vent re School Meeting today Date: Tuesday, October 13, 2009, 12:53 PM

I totally agree with the whole thing on the schools not wanting to help our kids, because it's easier to drive them out. I'm going through the same thing right now with my son's school. Now granted, he's being an absolute PILL lately, and I am having a hard time even at home trying to put a handle on him, but it is required BY LAW that these people educate our children. Therefore, make them for once be responsible for something that is a little out of the cookie cutter mode that they wish all students were. They were very close to convincing me to take my son out of school, until my brother in law talked me out of it, because our children NEED to learn how to interact with peers, we are not going to be able to hold their hands forever. If they're home, how are they supposed to learn anything? At least when it comes to being around peers.

From: phowson08 <paulahowson@ hotmail.com> Sent: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 10:58:26 AMSubject: ( ) Need to Vent re School Meeting today

hi everyone, I just need to vent. I had a meeting this morning at my son's school this morning to review the psych testing that was completed. They were discussing the results and comparing him to the "average kid" and I had to stop them to remind them that - my son is not the average kid and the results just confirmed the diagnosis. It was everything in me to sit there calmly and listen to the crap. I was thankful that I had someone there with me representing Autism Ontario (Canada)- an advocate to support me and keep my calm and to ask for things that I may forget because as we know these meeting can be very stressful and cause us to get very emotional. Needless to say, I did well and was told that I am a great advocate for my son and we are on the right track to helping my son at school. My son is 16 and just diagnosed with AS in June of this year. The school does not provide the right support for him and have no clue what to do

for him. I was told that the school just wants to frustrate us as parents so that we pull our kids out and it is not their problem anymore. But I am not going anywhere, they have not come across anyone like me yet and they will do their job as educators. My son is very bright and needs the right people in place to help him. These people chose this profession as educators and teachers - damn well do your job. It should be a rewarding experience to help someone and what them flourish and do well. So, my son is now having more testing re speech and language pathologists to see where he is at next week. So I will keep you all updated. Thanks for listening. I feel better that I was able to get it out. a in Canada __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your support.

My son does know what is happening and he knows that I will go to the ends of the earth for him. He feels a sense of relief now with the diagnosis.

But today, I was so proud of him. He actually spoke up to his resource teacher and told him that the resource room is too loud for him to concrete and asked to be moved to another room where it is quite and he can work. Jerell would never do that in the past, but it seems to me that he is seeing what I am doing for him and that we are standing up for ourselves and are not going to sit back and take it.

a

From: jrisjs@...Date: Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:46:09 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) Need to Vent re School Meeting today

You go, a!!!!!

Is your son "getting" what is happening? How does he feel about finally KNOWING what he's been living?

Definitely keep us posted!!!Robin

From: phowson08 <paulahowsonhotmail>Subject: ( ) Need to Vent re School Meeting today Date: Tuesday, October 13, 2009, 9:58 AM

hi everyone, I just need to vent. I had a meeting this morning at my son's school this morning to review the psych testing that was completed. They were discussing the results and comparing him to the "average kid" and I had to stop them to remind them that - my son is not the average kid and the results just confirmed the diagnosis. It was everything in me to sit there calmly and listen to the crap. I was thankful that I had someone there with me representing Autism Ontario (Canada)- an advocate to support me and keep my calm and to ask for things that I may forget because as we know these meeting can be very stressful and cause us to get very emotional. Needless to say, I did well and was told that I am a great advocate for my son and we are on the right track to helping my son at school. My son is 16 and just diagnosed with AS in June of this year. The school does not provide the right support for him and have no clue what to do for him. I was told that the school just wants to frustrate us as parents so that we pull our kids out and it is not their problem anymore. But I am not going anywhere, they have not come across anyone like me yet and they will do their job as educators. My son is very bright and needs the right people in place to help him. These people chose this profession as educators and teachers - damn well do your job. It should be a rewarding experience to help someone and what them flourish and do well. So, my son is now having more testing re speech and language pathologists to see where he is at next week. So I will keep you all updated. Thanks for listening. I feel better that I was able to get it out. a in Canada __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I have totally contemplated for the last 2 years pulling my son out and homeschooling him. It's definitely going to be my last resort. BUT, that's just it, the school doesn't want to try unless I force them to. I wish I could put a hidden camera on my son so I could watch his triggers and how the staff responds. They swear that his meltdowns are totally unprovoked, and I try to tell them just because they can't see it, doesn't mean that it's nothing. On top of the fact that other kids are so mean, and know that my son breaks down from little things, so they can whisper things to him, and he loses it. And all of a sudden they're scared of him..so they say. I highly doubt these kids are actually scared of my son.

If this high functioning program that I'm trying to get him into doesn't work, I probably will end up homeschooling him, as long as I can find him at least ONE friend to play with. Kids don't need a lot of friends, just that one who they can rely on. I'm the same way as an adult. I used to be the "popular" girl in school (which makes it EXTREMELY hard for me to relate to my son) but as I got older, I realized the number of friends you have doesn't matter at all. I really don't need more than 1 or 2 and I'm fine. As long as my son is happy (which I don't beleive he is lately) I will have succeeded in life.

From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Tue, October 13, 2009 10:14:06 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Need to Vent re School Meeting today

,

I totally agree with you....that it is the LAW that requires them to teach our kids.

I guess, for me, it's seeing that although the law may require it, not all schools DO it.

That, although the law requires it, and the school may even DO their part, that, my sons emotional well-being may not be going in a positive direction at school.

They may have to legally make accommodations for him, but they can't make others welcome him and accept him.

That's what's so sad with us, anyway.

So,,,when we yanked him out of school, he lost the "stressor".. .if that makes sense.

Without the stress and frustration, he became this amazing, confident, talkative young man.

He talked with others when we went places, he started to look people in the eyes. It was almost freakish how quickly it changed.So,,,,socially, ,,,,,,,,, he got better when we pulled him out. Because all that he was feeling at his school was negative. Even though they tried....... ..maybe not as much as they should have, but most of the people in the school did try.

Now,,,,like I said, I agree with you that we should make the teachers do what they're supposed to do,,,,,but I often wonder what really goes on behind closed doors. Especially when you, as a parent, are starting to demand things and exert your knowledge.

It scares me to think that they may take out their anger and feelings of frustration for being pushed too far by us, out on our kids.

Ugh.....makes my gut hurt.

Hugs to you,

Robin

From: Chambers <missjen0124>Subject: Re: ( ) Need to Vent re School Meeting today Date: Tuesday, October 13, 2009, 12:53 PM

I totally agree with the whole thing on the schools not wanting to help our kids, because it's easier to drive them out. I'm going through the same thing right now with my son's school. Now granted, he's being an absolute PILL lately, and I am having a hard time even at home trying to put a handle on him, but it is required BY LAW that these people educate our children. Therefore, make them for once be responsible for something that is a little out of the cookie cutter mode that they wish all students were. They were very close to convincing me to take my son out of school, until my brother in law talked me out of it, because our children NEED to learn how to interact with peers, we are not going to be able to hold their hands forever. If they're home, how are they supposed to learn anything? At least when it comes to being around peers.

From: phowson08 <paulahowson@ hotmail.com> Sent: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 10:58:26 AMSubject: ( ) Need to Vent re School Meeting today

hi everyone, I just need to vent. I had a meeting this morning at my son's school this morning to review the psych testing that was completed. They were discussing the results and comparing him to the "average kid" and I had to stop them to remind them that - my son is not the average kid and the results just confirmed the diagnosis. It was everything in me to sit there calmly and listen to the crap. I was thankful that I had someone there with me representing Autism Ontario (Canada)- an advocate to support me and keep my calm and to ask for things that I may forget because as we know these meeting can be very stressful and cause us to get very emotional. Needless to say, I did well and was told that I am a great advocate for my son and we are on the right track to helping my son at school. My son is 16 and just diagnosed with AS in June of this year. The school does not provide the right support for him and have no clue what to do

for him. I was told that the school just wants to frustrate us as parents so that we pull our kids out and it is not their problem anymore. But I am not going anywhere, they have not come across anyone like me yet and they will do their job as educators. My son is very bright and needs the right people in place to help him. These people chose this profession as educators and teachers - damn well do your job. It should be a rewarding experience to help someone and what them flourish and do well. So, my son is now having more testing re speech and language pathologists to see where he is at next week. So I will keep you all updated. Thanks for listening. I feel better that I was able to get it out. a in Canada ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __

[Guest guest]

a, you have every reason to be proud of him. It's wonderful that he's taking in what he has,,,and is going to help himself............that's an incredible thing!!!

Robin

From: phowson08 <paulahowson@ hotmail.com>Subject: ( ) Need to Vent re School Meeting today Date: Tuesday, October 13, 2009, 9:58 AM

hi everyone, I just need to vent. I had a meeting this morning at my son's school this morning to review the psych testing that was completed. They were discussing the results and comparing him to the "average kid" and I had to stop them to remind them that - my son is not the average kid and the results just confirmed the diagnosis. It was everything in me to sit there calmly and listen to the crap. I was thankful that I had someone there with me representing Autism Ontario (Canada)- an advocate to support me and keep my calm and to ask for things that I may forget because as we know these meeting can be very stressful and cause us to get very emotional. Needless to say, I did well and was told that I am a great advocate for my son and we are on the right track to helping my son at school. My son is 16 and just diagnosed with AS in June of this year. The school does not provide the right support for him and have no clue what to do

for him. I was told that the school just wants to frustrate us as parents so that we pull our kids out and it is not their problem anymore. But I am not going anywhere, they have not come across anyone like me yet and they will do their job as educators. My son is very bright and needs the right people in place to help him. These people chose this profession as educators and teachers - damn well do your job. It should be a rewarding experience to help someone and what them flourish and do well. So, my son is now having more testing re speech and language pathologists to see where he is at next week. So I will keep you all updated. Thanks for listening. I feel better that I was able to get it out. a in Canada ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __