Re: My fears have come true!!

[Guest guest]

I get why you did that with your husband a police officer. But

the criminal system is unlikely to help him in the long run.

You don't want a felony charge against him, it will be very difficult to get him

a job or a placement in supported living facility.

AS kids don't learn from mistakes that is so true.

They need supportive services. It really is too much for the

parents alone.

You can get him a lawyer that understands special needs

maybe this can be used to advocate that your son needs

more help and support than the family alone.

I get that you don't want to be implicated in selling drugs.

And you want a strong message to not attempt this ever again.

I hope and pray he has an IEP. If he does you want to advocate for

transitional services to help him get directed into a vocational

program. All kids with an IEP are to have a transition plan.

If he does not have an IEP I hope you have a doctor or neurologist

that give him a DX of AS. You want to get him into a state

department of disabilities so that they help him with adult

transiton services.

I think counseling with a forensic psychologist that understands

autism spectrum disorders would be a great help and appropriate

support to help him understand and get a social perspective.

It will be so important though to find one that gets this

disorder.

It would be great to get him into a adult program with other

autism young adults. It will be a crowd that won't be into drugs

and crime.

Pam

>

> We have been trying to direct our 17 year old Asperger's son to the better

kids in school and he constantly gravitates to the really bad kids. I think the

good kids think he is weird and to glommy with them and the bad ones can talk

him into anything.

>

> So, yesterday we found cigarettes, ok no big deal could be worse, right? Then

we found the insides of some time release pills that turned out to be my

daughters Adderall, so I got to thinking I had better check the medicine cabinet

for the one rx that we have had sitting there for four years of Tylenol 3. It

was gone when confronted of course he lyed so then were was he getting all this

money he doesnt work. Finally he admitted to taking it and selling it to kids at

school.

>

> No matter what we have done he just doesnt get it! He never learns from his

mistakes! We are so frustrated that we did the only thing we could do. We called

the police, as of right now he is facing several felonys amongst theft charges,

or he could end up in juvinal detention at the very least he can be put on

probation. He totally knows the consequences my husband is a police officer so

its nothing that he hasnt heard.

>

> I know we are doing the right thing I just hope he gets something out of it. I

am so sad and dissappointed and feel that all of the energy I put into him has

been for nothing.

>

[Guest guest]

I will say that my son had other issues and I told the school to press charges if that is what they felt needed to happen. They did. Our life was hell for two years. My son has to be wary 9f having a gf because even if she starts any of the talk that so many girls do now, if her oparents find out then he can be in really big trouble. The court system threatened to make him registar as a sex offender for touching his gf breast on the school bus. The girl placed his hands there, he was excited, so he continued to touch. Bus driver told principal, who called girls parents, who completely over reacted, and the principal was afraid of bad publicity for the school. Needless to say the 70 yo judge who had never herd of AS ordered him to attend 100 sessions of sex offender counseling. OMG the counselor said he doesnt need to be here, this is not gong to be beneficial in the

least. She was correct. As she followed the court mandated program he had more questions and took to the internet for answers. Thank you Juvenille Court System, you have just introduced my son to porn RRRR. He also had a probation officer who frequently worked with kids with AS. He though it was all a joke, and once a month came to the house and watched a show or played a few minutes of a video game with my son. So glad all of that is over, but it taught my son nothing good. Normally in the courts eyes doing wrong is doing wrong, they do not care about you child. Good luck, and I hope you have a much better experience than I did.

Amber Barnett

From: Pamela <susanonderko@...> Sent: Wed, November 10, 2010 6:48:01 PMSubject: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

I get why you did that with your husband a police officer. But the criminal system is unlikely to help him in the long run. You don't want a felony charge against him, it will be very difficult to get him a job or a placement in supported living facility.AS kids don't learn from mistakes that is so true. They need supportive services. It really is too much for the parents alone. You can get him a lawyer that understands special needsmaybe this can be used to advocate that your son needsmore help and support than the family alone. I get that you don't want to be implicated in selling drugs.And you want a strong message to not attempt this ever again.I hope and pray he has an IEP. If he does you want to advocate fortransitional services to help him get directed into a vocationalprogram. All kids with an IEP are to have a transition plan.If he does not have an IEP I hope you have a

doctor or neurologistthat give him a DX of AS. You want to get him into a statedepartment of disabilities so that they help him with adulttransiton services. I think counseling with a forensic psychologist that understandsautism spectrum disorders would be a great help and appropriatesupport to help him understand and get a social perspective.It will be so important though to find one that gets thisdisorder. It would be great to get him into a adult program with otherautism young adults. It will be a crowd that won't be into drugsand crime. Pam >> We have been trying to direct our 17 year old Asperger's son to the better kids in school and he constantly

gravitates to the really bad kids. I think the good kids think he is weird and to glommy with them and the bad ones can talk him into anything.> > So, yesterday we found cigarettes, ok no big deal could be worse, right? Then we found the insides of some time release pills that turned out to be my daughters Adderall, so I got to thinking I had better check the medicine cabinet for the one rx that we have had sitting there for four years of Tylenol 3. It was gone when confronted of course he lyed so then were was he getting all this money he doesnt work. Finally he admitted to taking it and selling it to kids at school.> > No matter what we have done he just doesnt get it! He never learns from his mistakes! We are so frustrated that we did the only thing we could do. We called the police, as of right now he is facing several felonys amongst theft charges, or he could end up in juvinal detention at the very least he can be put

on probation. He totally knows the consequences my husband is a police officer so its nothing that he hasnt heard.> > I know we are doing the right thing I just hope he gets something out of it. I am so sad and dissappointed and feel that all of the energy I put into him has been for nothing.>

[Guest guest]

I don't think I could ever trust the school system to do the right thing when it comes to kids on the spectrum--they just don't want to get it. I wish we could have talked you out of being indifferent to the school pressing charges against your son.

On Thu, Nov 11, 2010 at 8:23 AM, Amber Barnett <bbeautiful1too@...> wrote:

 

I will say that my son had other issues and I told the school to press charges if that is what they felt needed to happen.  They did.  Our life was hell for two years.  My son has to be wary 9f having a gf because even if she starts any of the talk that so many girls do now, if her oparents find out then he can be in really big trouble.  The court system threatened to make him registar as a sex offender for touching his gf breast on the school bus.  The girl placed his hands there, he was excited, so he continued to touch.  Bus driver told principal, who called girls parents, who completely over reacted, and the principal was afraid of bad publicity for the school.  Needless to say the 70 yo judge who had never herd of AS ordered him to attend 100 sessions of sex offender counseling.  OMG  the counselor said he doesnt need to be here, this is not gong to be beneficial in the

least.  She was correct.   As she followed the court mandated program he had more questions and took to the internet for answers.  Thank you Juvenille Court System, you have just introduced my son to porn RRRR.  He also had a probation officer who frequently worked with kids with AS.  He though it was all a joke, and once a month came to the house and watched a show or played a few minutes of a video game with my son.  So glad all of that is over, but it taught my son nothing good.  Normally in the courts eyes doing wrong is doing wrong, they do not care about you child.  Good luck, and I hope you have a much better experience than I did. 

 

   

Amber Barnett

From: Pamela <susanonderko@...>

Sent: Wed, November 10, 2010 6:48:01 PMSubject: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!! 

I get why you did that with your husband a police officer. But the criminal system is unlikely to help him in the long run. You don't want a felony charge against him, it will be very difficult to get him a job or a placement in supported living facility.

AS kids don't learn from mistakes that is so true. They need supportive services. It really is too much for the parents alone. You can get him a lawyer that understands special needsmaybe this can be used to advocate that your son needs

more help and support than the family alone. I get that you don't want to be implicated in selling drugs.And you want a strong message to not attempt this ever again.I hope and pray he has an IEP. If he does you want to advocate for

transitional services to help him get directed into a vocationalprogram. All kids with an IEP are to have a transition plan.If he does not have an IEP I hope you have a

doctor or neurologistthat give him a DX of AS. You want to get him into a statedepartment of disabilities so that they help him with adulttransiton services. I think counseling with a forensic psychologist that understands

autism spectrum disorders would be a great help and appropriatesupport to help him understand and get a social perspective.It will be so important though to find one that gets thisdisorder. It would be great to get him into a adult program with other

autism young adults. It will be a crowd that won't be into drugsand crime. Pam

>> We have been trying to direct our 17 year old Asperger's son to the better kids in school and he constantly

gravitates to the really bad kids. I think the good kids think he is weird and to glommy with them and the bad ones can talk him into anything.> > So, yesterday we found cigarettes, ok no big deal could be worse, right? Then we found the insides of some time release pills that turned out to be my daughters Adderall, so I got to thinking I had better check the medicine cabinet for the one rx that we have had sitting there for four years of Tylenol 3. It was gone when confronted of course he lyed so then were was he getting all this money he doesnt work. Finally he admitted to taking it and selling it to kids at school.

> > No matter what we have done he just doesnt get it! He never learns from his mistakes! We are so frustrated that we did the only thing we could do. We called the police, as of right now he is facing several felonys amongst theft charges, or he could end up in juvinal detention at the very least he can be put

on probation. He totally knows the consequences my husband is a police officer so its nothing that he hasnt heard.> > I know we are doing the right thing I just hope he gets something out of it. I am so sad and dissappointed and feel that all of the energy I put into him has been for nothing.

>

[Guest guest]

You know even though these kids are on the spectrum alot of them like my son knows right and wrong and there is only so long you can go without seeing the results of their actions. Babying these kids teaches them only that there are no punishments for their actions. Now I agree the kids on the spectrum that are much worse off will not understand what they did or why the result is happening to them. I did not just call the police because of my husbands career but because it was wrong and my son knew it and the last thing I am going to let happen is my son turn into a drug pusher. In my opinion and my opinion only, alot of parents do not let these children grow and experience life good or bad they cater to ever whim of the child because of their Aspergers its easier than constintly fighting them trust me I know I was one of those parents. When you cant get help from anyone and your kid is acting like a monster you do what ever you can to

just keep the peace. But over these 17 years I have learned that in my sons case he has the ability to learn even if it is slowly it is possible, holding him back and covering for him might make me feel better but is it really doing him a favor?

http://www.etsy.com/shop/pigdreams

From: <doyourecycle@...> Sent: Thu, November 11, 2010 8:49:53 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

I don't think I could ever trust the school system to do the right thing when it comes to kids on the spectrum--they just don't want to get it. I wish we could have talked you out of being indifferent to the school pressing charges against your son.

On Thu, Nov 11, 2010 at 8:23 AM, Amber Barnett <bbeautiful1too@...> wrote:

I will say that my son had other issues and I told the school to press charges if that is what they felt needed to happen. They did. Our life was hell for two years. My son has to be wary 9f having a gf because even if she starts any of the talk that so many girls do now, if her oparents find out then he can be in really big trouble. The court system threatened to make him registar as a sex offender for touching his gf breast on the school bus. The girl placed his hands there, he was excited, so he continued to touch. Bus driver told principal, who called girls parents, who completely over reacted, and the principal was afraid of bad publicity for the school. Needless to say the 70 yo judge who had never herd of AS ordered him to attend 100 sessions of sex offender counseling. OMG the counselor said he doesnt need to be here, this is not gong to be beneficial in the

least. She was correct. As she followed the court mandated program he had more questions and took to the internet for answers. Thank you Juvenille Court System, you have just introduced my son to porn RRRR. He also had a probation officer who frequently worked with kids with AS. He though it was all a joke, and once a month came to the house and watched a show or played a few minutes of a video game with my son. So glad all of that is over, but it taught my son nothing good. Normally in the courts eyes doing wrong is doing wrong, they do not care about you child. Good luck, and I hope you have a much better experience than I did.

Amber Barnett

From: Pamela <susanonderko@...> Sent: Wed, November 10, 2010 6:48:01 PMSubject: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

I get why you did that with your husband a police officer. But the criminal system is unlikely to help him in the long run. You don't want a felony charge against him, it will be very difficult to get him a job or a placement in supported living facility.AS kids don't learn from mistakes that is so true. They need supportive services. It really is too much for the parents alone. You can get him a lawyer that understands special needsmaybe this can be used to advocate that your son needsmore help and support than the family alone. I get that you don't want to be implicated in selling drugs.And you want a strong message to not attempt this ever again.I hope and pray he has an IEP. If he does you want to advocate fortransitional services to help him get directed into a vocationalprogram. All kids with an IEP are to have a transition plan.If he does not have an IEP I hope you have a

doctor or neurologistthat give him a DX of AS. You want to get him into a statedepartment of disabilities so that they help him with adulttransiton services. I think counseling with a forensic psychologist that understandsautism spectrum disorders would be a great help and appropriatesupport to help him understand and get a social perspective.It will be so important though to find one that gets thisdisorder. It would be great to get him into a adult program with otherautism young adults. It will be a crowd that won't be into drugsand crime. Pam >> We have been trying to direct our 17 year old Asperger's son to the better kids in school and he constantly

gravitates to the really bad kids. I think the good kids think he is weird and to glommy with them and the bad ones can talk him into anything.> > So, yesterday we found cigarettes, ok no big deal could be worse, right? Then we found the insides of some time release pills that turned out to be my daughters Adderall, so I got to thinking I had better check the medicine cabinet for the one rx that we have had sitting there for four years of Tylenol 3. It was gone when confronted of course he lyed so then were was he getting all this money he doesnt work. Finally he admitted to taking it and selling it to kids at school.> > No matter what we have done he just doesnt get it! He never learns from his mistakes! We are so frustrated that we did the only thing we could do. We called the police, as of right now he is facing several felonys amongst theft charges, or he could end up in juvinal detention at the very least he can be put

on probation. He totally knows the consequences my husband is a police officer so its nothing that he hasnt heard.> > I know we are doing the right thing I just hope he gets something out of it. I am so sad and dissappointed and feel that all of the energy I put into him has been for nothing.>

[Guest guest]

OMG! That is my fears too! Girls are so forward and my son is so naive to a degree...I am sure he knows about sex and all...but he just doesn't get the whole social scene...and would get in trouble too! Did you son have an IEP? If he did, I would have called a manifestation meeting. But I do know the girl's parents would never understand.....ugh!

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: <doyourecycle@...> Sent: Thu, November 11, 2010 11:49:53 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

I don't think I could ever trust the school system to do the right thing when it comes to kids on the spectrum--they just don't want to get it. I wish we could have talked you out of being indifferent to the school pressing charges against your son.

On Thu, Nov 11, 2010 at 8:23 AM, Amber Barnett <bbeautiful1too@...> wrote:

I will say that my son had other issues and I told the school to press charges if that is what they felt needed to happen. They did. Our life was hell for two years. My son has to be wary 9f having a gf because even if she starts any of the talk that so many girls do now, if her oparents find out then he can be in really big trouble. The court system threatened to make him registar as a sex offender for touching his gf breast on the school bus. The girl placed his hands there, he was excited, so he continued to touch. Bus driver told principal, who called girls parents, who completely over reacted, and the principal was afraid of bad publicity for the school. Needless to say the 70 yo judge who had never herd of AS ordered him to attend 100 sessions of sex offender counseling. OMG the counselor said he doesnt need to be here, this is not gong to be beneficial in the

least. She was correct. As she followed the court mandated program he had more questions and took to the internet for answers. Thank you Juvenille Court System, you have just introduced my son to porn RRRR. He also had a probation officer who frequently worked with kids with AS. He though it was all a joke, and once a month came to the house and watched a show or played a few minutes of a video game with my son. So glad all of that is over, but it taught my son nothing good. Normally in the courts eyes doing wrong is doing wrong, they do not care about you child. Good luck, and I hope you have a much better experience than I did.

Amber Barnett

From: Pamela <susanonderko@...> Sent: Wed, November 10, 2010 6:48:01 PMSubject: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

I get why you did that with your husband a police officer. But the criminal system is unlikely to help him in the long run. You don't want a felony charge against him, it will be very difficult to get him a job or a placement in supported living facility.AS kids don't learn from mistakes that is so true. They need supportive services. It really is too much for the parents alone. You can get him a lawyer that understands special needsmaybe this can be used to advocate that your son needsmore help and support than the family alone. I get that you don't want to be implicated in selling drugs.And you want a strong message to not attempt this ever again.I hope and pray he has an IEP. If he does you want to advocate fortransitional services to help him get directed into a vocationalprogram. All kids with an IEP are to have a transition plan.If he does not have an IEP I hope you have a

doctor or neurologistthat give him a DX of AS. You want to get him into a statedepartment of disabilities so that they help him with adulttransiton services. I think counseling with a forensic psychologist that understandsautism spectrum disorders would be a great help and appropriatesupport to help him understand and get a social perspective.It will be so important though to find one that gets thisdisorder. It would be great to get him into a adult program with otherautism young adults. It will be a crowd that won't be into drugsand crime. Pam >> We have been trying to direct our 17 year old Asperger's son to the better kids in school and he constantly

gravitates to the really bad kids. I think the good kids think he is weird and to glommy with them and the bad ones can talk him into anything.> > So, yesterday we found cigarettes, ok no big deal could be worse, right? Then we found the insides of some time release pills that turned out to be my daughters Adderall, so I got to thinking I had better check the medicine cabinet for the one rx that we have had sitting there for four years of Tylenol 3. It was gone when confronted of course he lyed so then were was he getting all this money he doesnt work. Finally he admitted to taking it and selling it to kids at school.> > No matter what we have done he just doesnt get it! He never learns from his mistakes! We are so frustrated that we did the only thing we could do. We called the police, as of right now he is facing several felonys amongst theft charges, or he could end up in juvinal detention at the very least he can be put

on probation. He totally knows the consequences my husband is a police officer so its nothing that he hasnt heard.> > I know we are doing the right thing I just hope he gets something out of it. I am so sad and dissappointed and feel that all of the energy I put into him has been for nothing.>

[Guest guest]

I wish so as well, but at the time we did not even have a firm diagnosis for him. I was being told by the mental health professional he was seeing, at my request btw, ha he was doing these things to see what he could get away with. The only good thing that cae out of this whole ordal was me learning even more about my son and the way his "disability" as they call it can manifest itself and what others have experienced. I began hunting for aconnectin to othes in our situation as soon as w ha our diagnosis, and we did use that in court... otherwise the judge was going to poull him fr our loving and accepting home and send him to a detention facility!

Amber Barnett

From: <doyourecycle@...> Sent: Thu, November 11, 2010 11:49:53 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

I don't think I could ever trust the school system to do the right thing when it comes to kids on the spectrum--they just don't want to get it. I wish we could have talked you out of being indifferent to the school pressing charges against your son.

On Thu, Nov 11, 2010 at 8:23 AM, Amber Barnett <bbeautiful1too@...> wrote:

I will say that my son had other issues and I told the school to press charges if that is what they felt needed to happen. They did. Our life was hell for two years. My son has to be wary 9f having a gf because even if she starts any of the talk that so many girls do now, if her oparents find out then he can be in really big trouble. The court system threatened to make him registar as a sex offender for touching his gf breast on the school bus. The girl placed his hands there, he was excited, so he continued to touch. Bus driver told principal, who called girls parents, who completely over reacted, and the principal was afraid of bad publicity for the school. Needless to say the 70 yo judge who had never herd of AS ordered him to attend 100 sessions of sex offender counseling. OMG the counselor said he doesnt need to be here, this is not gong to be beneficial in the

least. She was correct. As she followed the court mandated program he had more questions and took to the internet for answers. Thank you Juvenille Court System, you have just introduced my son to porn RRRR. He also had a probation officer who frequently worked with kids with AS. He though it was all a joke, and once a month came to the house and watched a show or played a few minutes of a video game with my son. So glad all of that is over, but it taught my son nothing good. Normally in the courts eyes doing wrong is doing wrong, they do not care about you child. Good luck, and I hope you have a much better experience than I did.

Amber Barnett

From: Pamela <susanonderko@...> Sent: Wed, November 10, 2010 6:48:01 PMSubject: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

I get why you did that with your husband a police officer. But the criminal system is unlikely to help him in the long run. You don't want a felony charge against him, it will be very difficult to get him a job or a placement in supported living facility.AS kids don't learn from mistakes that is so true. They need supportive services. It really is too much for the parents alone. You can get him a lawyer that understands special needsmaybe this can be used to advocate that your son needsmore help and support than the family alone. I get that you don't want to be implicated in selling drugs.And you want a strong message to not attempt this ever again.I hope and pray he has an IEP. If he does you want to advocate fortransitional services to help him get directed into a vocationalprogram. All kids with an IEP are to have a transition plan.If he does not have an IEP I hope you have a

doctor or neurologistthat give him a DX of AS. You want to get him into a statedepartment of disabilities so that they help him with adulttransiton services. I think counseling with a forensic psychologist that understandsautism spectrum disorders would be a great help and appropriatesupport to help him understand and get a social perspective.It will be so important though to find one that gets thisdisorder. It would be great to get him into a adult program with otherautism young adults. It will be a crowd that won't be into drugsand crime. Pam >> We have been trying to direct our 17 year old Asperger's son to the better kids in school and he constantly

gravitates to the really bad kids. I think the good kids think he is weird and to glommy with them and the bad ones can talk him into anything.> > So, yesterday we found cigarettes, ok no big deal could be worse, right? Then we found the insides of some time release pills that turned out to be my daughters Adderall, so I got to thinking I had better check the medicine cabinet for the one rx that we have had sitting there for four years of Tylenol 3. It was gone when confronted of course he lyed so then were was he getting all this money he doesnt work. Finally he admitted to taking it and selling it to kids at school.> > No matter what we have done he just doesnt get it! He never learns from his mistakes! We are so frustrated that we did the only thing we could do. We called the police, as of right now he is facing several felonys amongst theft charges, or he could end up in juvinal detention at the very least he can be put

on probation. He totally knows the consequences my husband is a police officer so its nothing that he hasnt heard.> > I know we are doing the right thing I just hope he gets something out of it. I am so sad and dissappointed and feel that all of the energy I put into him has been for nothing.>

[Guest guest]

Yes he had an IEP... we had a manifestatin meeting. At the time of the meeting his only confirmed diagnosis was ADHD. The school argued until a diagnosis of Aspergers was confirmed by the district that I could not say that it was due to his Aspergers. I refused to sign in agreement. They made my life hell. I contacxted his old advocate. She rescheduled a new meeting, adn by thte time we left they were shaking in their boots. They nade many accomodations for him, finally put him in the gifted program een tough his grades did not dictate that placement. I began telling him in a frank and more educational way about things that were appropriate and not. That seemed to help a great deal.

Amber Barnett

From: rushen janice <jrushen@...> Sent: Thu, November 11, 2010 7:13:47 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

OMG! That is my fears too! Girls are so forward and my son is so naive to a degree...I am sure he knows about sex and all...but he just doesn't get the whole social scene...and would get in trouble too! Did you son have an IEP? If he did, I would have called a manifestation meeting. But I do know the girl's parents would never understand.....ugh!

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: <doyourecycle@...> Sent: Thu, November 11, 2010 11:49:53 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

I don't think I could ever trust the school system to do the right thing when it comes to kids on the spectrum--they just don't want to get it. I wish we could have talked you out of being indifferent to the school pressing charges against your son.

On Thu, Nov 11, 2010 at 8:23 AM, Amber Barnett <bbeautiful1too@...> wrote:

I will say that my son had other issues and I told the school to press charges if that is what they felt needed to happen. They did. Our life was hell for two years. My son has to be wary 9f having a gf because even if she starts any of the talk that so many girls do now, if her oparents find out then he can be in really big trouble. The court system threatened to make him registar as a sex offender for touching his gf breast on the school bus. The girl placed his hands there, he was excited, so he continued to touch. Bus driver told principal, who called girls parents, who completely over reacted, and the principal was afraid of bad publicity for the school. Needless to say the 70 yo judge who had never herd of AS ordered him to attend 100 sessions of sex offender counseling. OMG the counselor said he doesnt need to be here, this is not gong to be beneficial in the

least. She was correct. As she followed the court mandated program he had more questions and took to the internet for answers. Thank you Juvenille Court System, you have just introduced my son to porn RRRR. He also had a probation officer who frequently worked with kids with AS. He though it was all a joke, and once a month came to the house and watched a show or played a few minutes of a video game with my son. So glad all of that is over, but it taught my son nothing good. Normally in the courts eyes doing wrong is doing wrong, they do not care about you child. Good luck, and I hope you have a much better experience than I did.

Amber Barnett

From: Pamela <susanonderko@...> Sent: Wed, November 10, 2010 6:48:01 PMSubject: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

I get why you did that with your husband a police officer. But the criminal system is unlikely to help him in the long run. You don't want a felony charge against him, it will be very difficult to get him a job or a placement in supported living facility.AS kids don't learn from mistakes that is so true. They need supportive services. It really is too much for the parents alone. You can get him a lawyer that understands special needsmaybe this can be used to advocate that your son needsmore help and support than the family alone. I get that you don't want to be implicated in selling drugs.And you want a strong message to not attempt this ever again.I hope and pray he has an IEP. If he does you want to advocate fortransitional services to help him get directed into a vocationalprogram. All kids with an IEP are to have a transition plan.If he does not have an IEP I hope you have a

doctor or neurologistthat give him a DX of AS. You want to get him into a statedepartment of disabilities so that they help him with adulttransiton services. I think counseling with a forensic psychologist that understandsautism spectrum disorders would be a great help and appropriatesupport to help him understand and get a social perspective.It will be so important though to find one that gets thisdisorder. It would be great to get him into a adult program with otherautism young adults. It will be a crowd that won't be into drugsand crime. Pam >> We have been trying to direct our 17 year old Asperger's son to the better kids in school and he constantly

gravitates to the really bad kids. I think the good kids think he is weird and to glommy with them and the bad ones can talk him into anything.> > So, yesterday we found cigarettes, ok no big deal could be worse, right? Then we found the insides of some time release pills that turned out to be my daughters Adderall, so I got to thinking I had better check the medicine cabinet for the one rx that we have had sitting there for four years of Tylenol 3. It was gone when confronted of course he lyed so then were was he getting all this money he doesnt work. Finally he admitted to taking it and selling it to kids at school.> > No matter what we have done he just doesnt get it! He never learns from his mistakes! We are so frustrated that we did the only thing we could do. We called the police, as of right now he is facing several felonys amongst theft charges, or he could end up in juvinal detention at the very least he can be put

on probation. He totally knows the consequences my husband is a police officer so its nothing that he hasnt heard.> > I know we are doing the right thing I just hope he gets something out of it. I am so sad and dissappointed and feel that all of the energy I put into him has been for nothing.>

[Guest guest]

You do know best. You know the resources available or not available to

you. And I agree you don't want to ignore behavior that is criminal.

Many parents with bipolar kids will call the police when their

child repeatedly attacks and hurts family members. Somehow though

this kids seem to end up in residential treatment programs and

do get the resources that they need finally from the legal system.

I do hope it all works out well in the end for your son. It is only

harder with our economy the way it is to find and secure services

such as vocational training, adult transition services from the

government.

Best wishes, Pam

> >>

> >> We have been trying to direct our 17 year old Asperger's son to the better

kids

> >>in school and he constantly gravitates to the really bad kids. I think the

good

> >>kids think he is weird and to glommy with them and the bad ones can talk him

> >>into anything.

> >>

> >> So, yesterday we found cigarettes, ok no big deal could be worse, right?

Then

> >>we found the insides of some time release pills that turned out to be my

> >>daughters Adderall, so I got to thinking I had better check the medicine

cabinet

> >>for the one rx that we have had sitting there for four years of Tylenol 3.

It

> >>was gone when confronted of course he lyed so then were was he getting all

this

> >>money he doesnt work. Finally he admitted to taking it and selling it to

kids at

> >>school.

> >>

> >> No matter what we have done he just doesnt get it! He never learns from his

> >>mistakes! We are so frustrated that we did the only thing we could do. We

called

> >>the police, as of right now he is facing several felonys amongst theft

charges,

> >>or he could end up in juvinal detention at the very least he can be put on

> >>probation. He totally knows the consequences my husband is a police officer

so

> >>its nothing that he hasnt heard.

> >>

> >> I know we are doing the right thing I just hope he gets something out of

it. I

> >>am so sad and dissappointed and feel that all of the energy I put into him

has

> >>been for nothing.

> >>

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

It is very hard for us to give advice not knowing the whole

picture. This is another thought to help you ...not to question

your motives or methods ..

AS is not a conduct disorder. If your son has a pervasive issue

with risky behaviors that is AS plus.

And the plus needs to be figured out. If he hurts animals, plays with

knifes, likes gore, thinks rules don't apply to him

rages ...throws things when mad ..it could be BP ..

Pam

> >>

> >> We have been trying to direct our 17 year old Asperger's son to the better

kids

> >>in school and he constantly gravitates to the really bad kids. I think the

good

> >>kids think he is weird and to glommy with them and the bad ones can talk him

> >>into anything.

> >>

> >> So, yesterday we found cigarettes, ok no big deal could be worse, right?

Then

> >>we found the insides of some time release pills that turned out to be my

> >>daughters Adderall, so I got to thinking I had better check the medicine

cabinet

> >>for the one rx that we have had sitting there for four years of Tylenol 3.

It

> >>was gone when confronted of course he lyed so then were was he getting all

this

> >>money he doesnt work. Finally he admitted to taking it and selling it to

kids at

> >>school.

> >>

> >> No matter what we have done he just doesnt get it! He never learns from his

> >>mistakes! We are so frustrated that we did the only thing we could do. We

called

> >>the police, as of right now he is facing several felonys amongst theft

charges,

> >>or he could end up in juvinal detention at the very least he can be put on

> >>probation. He totally knows the consequences my husband is a police officer

so

> >>its nothing that he hasnt heard.

> >>

> >> I know we are doing the right thing I just hope he gets something out of

it. I

> >>am so sad and dissappointed and feel that all of the energy I put into him

has

> >>been for nothing.

> >>

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I disagree.I think it is very hard to say BP with ASD since each ASD is different.I agree with accountability.Use Feingold diet, GFCF and a good DAN doctor to find secondary conditions first.-- Sent from my Palm PreOn Nov 12, 2010 23:03, Pamela <susanonderko@...> wrote:

It is very hard for us to give advice not knowing the whole

picture. This is another thought to help you ...not to question

your motives or methods ..

AS is not a conduct disorder. If your son has a pervasive issue

with risky behaviors that is AS plus.

And the plus needs to be figured out. If he hurts animals, plays with

knifes, likes gore, thinks rules don't apply to him

rages ...throws things when mad ..it could be BP ..

Pam

> >>

> >> We have been trying to direct our 17 year old Asperger's son to the better kids

> >>in school and he constantly gravitates to the really bad kids. I think the good

> >>kids think he is weird and to glommy with them and the bad ones can talk him

> >>into anything.

> >>

> >> So, yesterday we found cigarettes, ok no big deal could be worse, right? Then

> >>we found the insides of some time release pills that turned out to be my

> >>daughters Adderall, so I got to thinking I had better check the medicine cabinet

> >>for the one rx that we have had sitting there for four years of Tylenol 3. It

> >>was gone when confronted of course he lyed so then were was he getting all this

> >>money he doesnt work. Finally he admitted to taking it and selling it to kids at

> >>school.

> >>

> >> No matter what we have done he just doesnt get it! He never learns from his

> >>mistakes! We are so frustrated that we did the only thing we could do. We called

> >>the police, as of right now he is facing several felonys amongst theft charges,

> >>or he could end up in juvinal detention at the very least he can be put on

> >>probation. He totally knows the consequences my husband is a police officer so

> >>its nothing that he hasnt heard.

> >>

> >> I know we are doing the right thing I just hope he gets something out of it. I

> >>am so sad and dissappointed and feel that all of the energy I put into him has

> >>been for nothing.

> >>

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,Please can you tell me what is a DAN doctor? From: Robyn Iuliano

<hamptonroadsaspergers@...>" " <Aspergers Treatment >Sent: Sat, November 13, 2010 6:39:56 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

I disagree.I think it is very hard to say BP with ASD since each ASD is different.I agree with accountability.Use Feingold diet, GFCF and a good DAN doctor to find secondary conditions first.-- Sent from my Palm PreOn Nov 12, 2010 23:03, Pamela <susanonderko@...> wrote:

It is very hard for us to give advice not knowing the whole

picture. This is another thought to help you ...not to question

your motives or methods ..

AS is not a conduct disorder. If your son has a pervasive issue

with risky behaviors that is AS plus.

And the plus needs to be figured out. If he hurts animals, plays with

knifes, likes gore, thinks rules don't apply to him

rages ...throws things when mad ..it could be BP ..

Pam

> >>

> >> We have been trying to direct our 17 year old Asperger's son to the better kids

> >>in school and he constantly gravitates to the really bad kids. I think the good

> >>kids think he is weird and to glommy with them and the bad ones can talk him

> >>into anything.

> >>

> >> So, yesterday we found cigarettes, ok no big deal could be worse, right? Then

> >>we found the insides of some time release pills that turned out to be my

> >>daughters Adderall, so I got to thinking I had better check the medicine cabinet

> >>for the one rx that we have had sitting there for four years of Tylenol 3. It

> >>was gone when confronted of course he lyed so then were was he getting all this

> >>money he doesnt work. Finally he admitted to taking it and selling it to kids at

> >>school.

> >>

> >> No matter what we have done he just doesnt get it! He never learns from his

> >>mistakes! We are so frustrated that we did the only thing we could do. We called

> >>the police, as of right now he is facing several felonys amongst theft charges,

> >>or he could end up in juvinal detention at the very least he can be put on

> >>probation. He totally knows the consequences my husband is a police officer so

> >>its nothing that he hasnt heard.

> >>

> >> I know we are doing the right thing I just hope he gets something out of it. I

> >>am so sad and dissappointed and feel that all of the energy I put into him has

> >>been for nothing.

> >>

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

He is not a violent boy he was when he was small but has grown out of it. He has been diagnosed with everything under the sun and at this point they are even saying that he may not have AS they are leaning more towards touretts even though he has no tics. The therapist looked at his IQ test and said his scores were very low, mind you this was done while in middle school, and that anything below 80 is considered boarderline retardation. So now does he have, ADD, OCD, Manic depressive, pervassive issues, tourettes, aspergers or retardation????

You know I dont care what his label is, HE JUST NEED GOOD HELP.

From: Pamela <susanonderko@...> Sent: Fri, November 12, 2010 8:02:54 PMSubject: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

It is very hard for us to give advice not knowing the wholepicture. This is another thought to help you ...not to questionyour motives or methods ..AS is not a conduct disorder. If your son has a pervasive issuewith risky behaviors that is AS plus.And the plus needs to be figured out. If he hurts animals, plays with knifes, likes gore, thinks rules don't apply to him rages ...throws things when mad ..it could be BP ..Pam > >>> >> We have been trying to direct our 17 year old Asperger's son to the better kids > >>in school and he constantly gravitates to the really bad kids. I think the good > >>kids think he is weird and to glommy with them and the bad ones can talk him > >>into anything.> >> > >> So, yesterday we found cigarettes, ok no big deal could be worse, right? Then > >>we found the insides of some time release pills that turned out to be my > >>daughters Adderall, so I got to thinking I had better check the medicine cabinet > >>for the one rx that we have had sitting there for four years of Tylenol 3. It > >>was gone when confronted of course he lyed so then were was he getting all this > >>money he doesnt work. Finally he admitted to taking it and selling it to kids at

> >>school.> >> > >> No matter what we have done he just doesnt get it! He never learns from his > >>mistakes! We are so frustrated that we did the only thing we could do. We called > >>the police, as of right now he is facing several felonys amongst theft charges, > >>or he could end up in juvinal detention at the very least he can be put on > >>probation. He totally knows the consequences my husband is a police officer so > >>its nothing that he hasnt heard.> >> > >> I know we are doing the right thing I just hope he gets something out of it. I > >>am so sad and dissappointed and feel that all of the energy I put into him has > >>been for nothing.> >>> >> >> >>

[Guest guest]

It is so hard to give good advise when when we don't

have all the experience with your child as you do.

My intention is to be helpful. If he is too much to handle

at home and with all those issues you may be able to make

a case that he needs a special needs residental program.

You would have to find a special needs lawyer to help

you figure this out. How in the world did he cope ever

in school and make any progress. He really must struggle.

If he had a IQ test and his IQ is below normal .... I don't

know what services are in your state, in NJ there is in every

county ARC which helps kids with below average IQ's .

If you live in a rural setting it may be very very hard to get help.

I wish you and your family the best,

Pam

> > >>

> > >> We have been trying to direct our 17 year old Asperger's son to the

better

> >kids

> >

> > >>in school and he constantly gravitates to the really bad kids. I think the

> >good

> >

> > >>kids think he is weird and to glommy with them and the bad ones can talk

him

>

> > >>into anything.

> > >>

> > >> So, yesterday we found cigarettes, ok no big deal could be worse, right?

> >Then

> >

> > >>we found the insides of some time release pills that turned out to be my

> > >>daughters Adderall, so I got to thinking I had better check the medicine

> >cabinet

> >

> > >>for the one rx that we have had sitting there for four years of Tylenol 3.

It

> >

> > >>was gone when confronted of course he lyed so then were was he getting all

> >this

> >

> > >>money he doesnt work. Finally he admitted to taking it and selling it to

kids

> >at

> >

> > >>school.

> > >>

> > >> No matter what we have done he just doesnt get it! He never learns from

his

>

> > >>mistakes! We are so frustrated that we did the only thing we could do. We

> >called

> >

> > >>the police, as of right now he is facing several felonys amongst theft

> >charges,

> >

> > >>or he could end up in juvinal detention at the very least he can be put on

> > >>probation. He totally knows the consequences my husband is a police

officer

> >so

> >

> > >>its nothing that he hasnt heard.

> > >>

> > >> I know we are doing the right thing I just hope he gets something out of

it.

> >I

> >

> > >>am so sad and dissappointed and feel that all of the energy I put into him

> >has

> >

> > >>been for nothing.

> > >>

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I totally appreciate all the advice I can get, Thank you to all. Even though my son has been "diganosed" with everything I listed not one of them I feel is right except for the AS. The first impression you would get from my son is that he is a normal teenage boy but, it seems to be the other kids that really hoan in on it and take advantage of his weakness and with his need to have alot of friends he seems to let right and wrong go out the window just to have them.

Nobody can tell us what is going on and we may never know and I really don't care, he just needs to get help for the issues he is having and learn to except they are there and move forward. The big major issue with him is self confidence he has none at all and never has. The therapist said she wants him in a group activity like Karate and to get a job, both can go a long way to boosting his self esteem.

Michelehttp://www.etsy.com/shop/pigdreams

From: Pamela <susanonderko@...> Sent: Sun, November 14, 2010 5:17:36 AMSubject: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

It is so hard to give good advise when when we don't have all the experience with your child as you do. My intention is to be helpful. If he is too much to handleat home and with all those issues you may be able to make a case that he needs a special needs residental program.You would have to find a special needs lawyer to helpyou figure this out. How in the world did he cope everin school and make any progress. He really must struggle.If he had a IQ test and his IQ is below normal .... I don'tknow what services are in your state, in NJ there is in everycounty ARC which helps kids with below average IQ's .If you live in a rural setting it may be very very hard to get help.I wish you and your family the best,Pam > > >>> > >> We have been trying to direct our 17 year old Asperger's son to the better > >kids > >> > >>in

school and he constantly gravitates to the really bad kids. I think the > >good > >> > >>kids think he is weird and to glommy with them and the bad ones can talk him > > > >>into anything.> > >> > > >> So, yesterday we found cigarettes, ok no big deal could be worse, right? > >Then > >> > >>we found the insides of some time release pills that turned out to be my > > >>daughters Adderall, so I got to thinking I had better check the medicine > >cabinet > >> > >>for the one rx that we have had sitting there for four years of Tylenol 3. It > >> > >>was gone when confronted of course he lyed so then were was he getting all > >this > >> > >>money he doesnt work. Finally he admitted to taking it and selling it to kids

> >at > >> > >>school.> > >> > > >> No matter what we have done he just doesnt get it! He never learns from his > > > >>mistakes! We are so frustrated that we did the only thing we could do. We > >called > >> > >>the police, as of right now he is facing several felonys amongst theft > >charges, > >> > >>or he could end up in juvinal detention at the very least he can be put on > > >>probation. He totally knows the consequences my husband is a police officer > >so > >> > >>its nothing that he hasnt heard.> > >> > > >> I know we are doing the right thing I just hope he gets something out of it. > >I > >> > >>am so sad and dissappointed and feel that all of the energy I put into

him > >has > >> > >>been for nothing.> > >>> > >> > >> > >> >>

[Guest guest]

Oh, I hear you....my 15 year old is the same way. He seems like a normal teen...and wants friends so badly. He would do anything for friends. Then gets angry when they hurt him.

I was told Karate would be good for him but he wants no part of it. I can't make him go. Maybe next year I can help him get a part time job. That would help his self-esteem.

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: Michele Ware <saldovia60@...> Sent: Sun, November 14, 2010 6:42:33 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

I totally appreciate all the advice I can get, Thank you to all. Even though my son has been "diganosed" with everything I listed not one of them I feel is right except for the AS. The first impression you would get from my son is that he is a normal teenage boy but, it seems to be the other kids that really hoan in on it and take advantage of his weakness and with his need to have alot of friends he seems to let right and wrong go out the window just to have them.

Nobody can tell us what is going on and we may never know and I really don't care, he just needs to get help for the issues he is having and learn to except they are there and move forward. The big major issue with him is self confidence he has none at all and never has. The therapist said she wants him in a group activity like Karate and to get a job, both can go a long way to boosting his self esteem.

Michelehttp://www.etsy.com/shop/pigdreams

From: Pamela <susanonderko@...> Sent: Sun, November 14, 2010 5:17:36 AMSubject: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

It is so hard to give good advise when when we don't have all the experience with your child as you do. My intention is to be helpful. If he is too much to handleat home and with all those issues you may be able to make a case that he needs a special needs residental program.You would have to find a special needs lawyer to helpyou figure this out. How in the world did he cope everin school and make any progress. He really must struggle.If he had a IQ test and his IQ is below normal .... I don'tknow what services are in your state, in NJ there is in everycounty ARC which helps kids with below average IQ's .If you live in a rural setting it may be very very hard to get help.I wish you and your family the best,Pam > > >>> > >> We have been trying to direct our 17 year old Asperger's son to the better > >kids > >> > >>in

school and he constantly gravitates to the really bad kids. I think the > >good > >> > >>kids think he is weird and to glommy with them and the bad ones can talk him > > > >>into anything.> > >> > > >> So, yesterday we found cigarettes, ok no big deal could be worse, right? > >Then > >> > >>we found the insides of some time release pills that turned out to be my > > >>daughters Adderall, so I got to thinking I had better check the medicine > >cabinet > >> > >>for the one rx that we have had sitting there for four years of Tylenol 3. It > >> > >>was gone when confronted of course he lyed so then were was he getting all > >this > >> > >>money he doesnt work. Finally he admitted to taking it and selling it to kids

> >at > >> > >>school.> > >> > > >> No matter what we have done he just doesnt get it! He never learns from his > > > >>mistakes! We are so frustrated that we did the only thing we could do. We > >called > >> > >>the police, as of right now he is facing several felonys amongst theft > >charges, > >> > >>or he could end up in juvinal detention at the very least he can be put on > > >>probation. He totally knows the consequences my husband is a police officer > >so > >> > >>its nothing that he hasnt heard.> > >> > > >> I know we are doing the right thing I just hope he gets something out of it. > >I > >> > >>am so sad and dissappointed and feel that all of the energy I put into

him > >has > >> > >>been for nothing.> > >>> > >> > >> > >> >>

[Guest guest]

My son wont have anything to do with karate either because he will be in a beginners class with a bunch of little kids. So our local gym offers Krav Maga they can start at age 13, he was all into that! http://www.etsy.com/shop/pigdreams

From: rushen janice <jrushen@...> Sent: Mon, November 15, 2010 8:18:34 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

Oh, I hear you....my 15 year old is the same way. He seems like a normal teen...and wants friends so badly. He would do anything for friends. Then gets angry when they hurt him.

I was told Karate would be good for him but he wants no part of it. I can't make him go. Maybe next year I can help him get a part time job. That would help his self-esteem.

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: Michele Ware <saldovia60@...> Sent: Sun, November 14, 2010 6:42:33 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

I totally appreciate all the advice I can get, Thank you to all. Even though my son has been "diganosed" with everything I listed not one of them I feel is right except for the AS. The first impression you would get from my son is that he is a normal teenage boy but, it seems to be the other kids that really hoan in on it and take advantage of his weakness and with his need to have alot of friends he seems to let right and wrong go out the window just to have them.

Nobody can tell us what is going on and we may never know and I really don't care, he just needs to get help for the issues he is having and learn to except they are there and move forward. The big major issue with him is self confidence he has none at all and never has. The therapist said she wants him in a group activity like Karate and to get a job, both can go a long way to boosting his self esteem.

Michelehttp://www.etsy.com/shop/pigdreams

From: Pamela <susanonderko@...> Sent: Sun, November 14, 2010 5:17:36 AMSubject: ( ) Re: My fears have come true!!

It is so hard to give good advise when when we don't have all the experience with your child as you do. My intention is to be helpful. If he is too much to handleat home and with all those issues you may be able to make a case that he needs a special needs residental program.You would have to find a special needs lawyer to helpyou figure this out. How in the world did he cope everin school and make any progress. He really must struggle.If he had a IQ test and his IQ is below normal .... I don'tknow what services are in your state, in NJ there is in everycounty ARC which helps kids with below average IQ's .If you live in a rural setting it may be very very hard to get help.I wish you and your family the best,Pam > > >>> > >> We have been trying to direct our 17 year old Asperger's son to the better > >kids > >> > >>in

school and he constantly gravitates to the really bad kids. I think the > >good > >> > >>kids think he is weird and to glommy with them and the bad ones can talk him > > > >>into anything.> > >> > > >> So, yesterday we found cigarettes, ok no big deal could be worse, right? > >Then > >> > >>we found the insides of some time release pills that turned out to be my > > >>daughters Adderall, so I got to thinking I had better check the medicine > >cabinet > >> > >>for the one rx that we have had sitting there for four years of Tylenol 3. It > >> > >>was gone when confronted of course he lyed so then were was he getting all > >this > >> > >>money he doesnt work. Finally he admitted to taking it and selling it to kids

> >at > >> > >>school.> > >> > > >> No matter what we have done he just doesnt get it! He never learns from his > > > >>mistakes! We are so frustrated that we did the only thing we could do. We > >called > >> > >>the police, as of right now he is facing several felonys amongst theft > >charges, > >> > >>or he could end up in juvinal detention at the very least he can be put on > > >>probation. He totally knows the consequences my husband is a police officer > >so > >> > >>its nothing that he hasnt heard.> > >> > > >> I know we are doing the right thing I just hope he gets something out of it. > >I > >> > >>am so sad and dissappointed and feel that all of the energy I put into

him > >has > >> > >>been for nothing.> > >>> > >> > >> > >> >>

[Guest guest]

,

This website should be able to answer your question.

http://autism.about.com/b/2007/04/11/what-is-a-dan-defeat-autism-now-doctor.htm

Regards,

>

> Hi,

> Please can you tell me what is a DAN doctor?

>