Is lying common amongst Aspie kids?

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Something that we notice our son doing is lying. The interesting part is that

he is terrible at it.. So when he says something I have a hard time believing

what he said. This is classic example, he got in trouble at school for calling a

girl the " B " word. He got sent to the principal and got a signature in his

assignment book. So I shot a note to the principal asking what happened and he

told me. Then I asked my son and I played dumb about it. he basically to me that

he was talking to the girl and had an " itch " and thats what she heard.. This is

almost a daily thing with him.. Either he is lying or he has an excuse for

everything.. The excuses are pretty lame as well..

I am just not sure if this is a trait or something else going on. All I know is

it is getting pretty frustrating. When ever I talk to him I have to weed thru

the excuses and lies to get to the bottom of things...

Mike

[Guest guest]

When you said that your son has an excuse for everything, that reminded me of my 8 yo.  He just cannot take responsibility for anything.  If he does something, he blames it on someone else (often me).  " Well, it was your fault for not doing (a, b, or c). "   It is really frustrating!  My son is getting continually more unfocused and disruptive in his classroom.  i will get notes home about it and when I ask my son he says that he was not being disruptive.  Maybe he just can't see it that way, I don't know.  It frustrates me that he doesn't/can't take responsibility.

I wonder if you could promote honesty by lessening his consequences if he is honest with you.  For instance, if you were planning on taking away privileges for  a few days for the altercation you mentioned, perhaps you could let him know that he will received a day less if he is completely honest with you about it.  Maybe after time it would help.  Just a thought.

Jessie

[Guest guest]

Try being specific to what he is doing. For instance, if he is talking

when the teacher is talking, don't say " being disruptive " , say " Talking

while the teacher is talking. " If he doesn't realize it, then set up a

system where you can cue him (a note taped to his book or desk that the

teacher can tap as she walks by, for instance) to start him

self-monitoring what is going on around him that he is missing right

now. if he just blurts things out and can't wait, then I've heard of

people having the student write down what he wants to say and then give

him time to say it after the lesson.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Re:Is lying common amongst Aspie kids?

When you said that your son has an excuse for everything, that reminded

me of my 8 yo.  He just cannot take responsibility for anything.  If he

does something, he blames it on someone else (often me).  " Well, it was

your fault for not doing (a, b, or c). "   It is really frustrating!  My

son is getting continually more unfocused and disruptive in his

classroom.  i will get notes home about it and when I ask my son he

says that he was not being disruptive.  Maybe he just can't see it that

way, I don't know.  It frustrates me that he doesn't/can't take

responsibility.

I wonder if you could promote honesty by lessening his consequences if

he is honest with you.  For instance, if you were planning on taking

away privileges for  a few days for the altercation you mentioned,

perhaps you could let him know that he will received a day less if he

is completely honest with you about it.  Maybe after time it would

help.  Just a thought.

Jessie