Re: Re: How do you know if situation is caused by AS?

[Guest guest]

Those are all good strategies. Even if it is something "caused" by AS, I feel we still have to work on it. Somedays work harder than others, lol. It really is a case by case basis, and you just have to think about it from the kids' perspective. I think that will help you decide if it is a misbehavior or if it is something they can't help.

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Suzanne

suzmarkwood@...

From: tsnoo1 <tsnoo1@...>Subject: ( ) Re: How do you know if situation is caused by AS? Date: Monday, November 16, 2009, 8:44 AM

My DS is 5, so I'm relatively on the early side of parenting AS. However, for the time being, I try not to 'excuse' anything due to AS. I just keep changing up my strategies:Nag - b/c that's what comes so natural = )Leave post-it notes around the houseHave my DS write down his own listReward getting something 'right''help' him do what he needs to dorequire him to do tasks before he gets things like Wii timepraise, praise & more praise (like if he says "hi" to a classmate, it must seem to an on-looker that he just cured cancer).or even changing the rules, i.e. he can either sit or stand during dinner, but he is to stay at his 'place' and not wander around the room (which, for the time being beats saying "stay in your seat" every 30 seconds. Now, he just eats standing up --- but, he is staying "at" the table.) Who knows what is "right?" Just deal with as much as you can deal with -- there will ALWAYS BE MORE to

tackle tomorrow! = ) I'm exhausted by day's end, but I am seeing progress (slowly) on all fronts, so I continue the grind. Best wishes.-->> How do you know whether your AS child's behavior/actions are totally due to AS and probably won't change because they can't help it, or whether you should continue to address things even though your efforts don't seem to be producing any results? I don't want to 'nag' and I know parents need to 'choose their battles', especially if it's something that she/he can't help due to Asperger's. Is it that she can't remember things I've reminded her about many times, or she just doesn't want to do them, or what? And how

would I know each time?> > This is something I struggle with. Is this particular instance just being a kid or is it Asperger's? Should I be concerned or will it pass? Is it misbehavior or can it not be helped (consistently, anyway)? Does anyone understand what I mean? Does anyone else struggle with this or have any ideas? I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't seem to know, despite all the books I've read about AS. I'll be so grateful for any feedback on this! Thanks! --Kari>

[Guest guest]

My son does the same thing if he goes up the stairs he leaves all 3 lights on, so we put notes next to the lights that just said switch off, what ever he was doing, whatever it was going upstairs to the bathroom, going upstairs for a toy, it seemed he focus was more on the task in hand than his surroundings. Hopefully by the time he grows up we'll have a really eco-friendly little guy.

As for continually asking if we have said yes he could have x, y, z, I just think my son is a bit impatient, he wants it and wants it now, but he knows if he shouts or demands he would get, so he justs asks over and over. I think for those of you into a bit of psycho babble, perhaps his id is still the dominating factor, superego still trying to catch up.

From: jmlrgs1870 <jmlrgs1870@...>Subject: ( ) Re: How do you know if situation is caused by AS? Date: Friday, 20 November, 2009, 4:57

If you don't mind answering this next question, I'm wondering if you and your wife have any thoughts/ideas about WHY your dd might need/want the continual reassurance (through her asking permission repeatedly) until receiving the lollipop? I'm just trying to work out how different situations fit in with an AS personality. Sometimes I think she maybe didn't focus on my words when I initially said/asked something, but this can't be the case every single day... for example, I'd like her to remember to shut off her bedroom light when she leaves her room to go to school. It's the same routine every day, but she still forgets every day, so I politely remind her that she needs to shut off her bedroom light when she leaves her bedroom every day. She will go back and shut off the light, but forgets again the next day. Aargh!> >> > How do you know whether your AS child's behavior/actions are totally due to AS and probably won't change because they can't help it, or whether you should continue to address things even though your efforts don't seem to be producing any results? I don't want to 'nag' and I know parents need to 'choose their battles', especially if it's something that she/he can't help due to Asperger's. Is it that she can't remember things I've reminded her about many times, or she just doesn't want to do them, or what? And how would I know each time?> > > > This is something I

struggle with. Is this particular instance just being a kid or is it Asperger's? Should I be concerned or will it pass? Is it misbehavior or can it not be helped (consistently, anyway)? Does anyone understand what I mean? Does anyone else struggle with this or have any ideas? I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't seem to know, despite all the books I've read about AS. I'll be so grateful for any feedback on this! Thanks! --Kari> >>

[Guest guest]

Post a little sign reminding her to turn off her light.

Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

( ) Re: How do you know if situation is caused

by AS?

If you don't mind answering this next question, I'm wondering if you

and your wife have any thoughts/ideas about WHY your dd might need/want

the continual reassurance (through her asking permission repeatedly)

until receiving the lollipop? I'm just trying to work out how different

situations fit in with an AS personality. Sometimes I think she maybe

didn't focus on my words when I initially said/asked something, but

this can't be the case every single day... for example, I'd like her to

remember to shut off her bedroom light when she leaves her room to go

to school. It's the same routine every day, but she still forgets every

day, so I politely remind her that she needs to shut off her bedroom

light when she leaves her bedroom every day. She will go back and shut

off the light, but forgets again the next day. Aargh!

> >

> > How do you know whether your AS child's behavior/actions are

totally due to AS and probably won't change because they can't help it,

or whether you should continue to address things even though your

efforts don't seem to be producing any results? I don't want to 'nag'

and I know parents need to 'choose their battles', especially if it's

something that she/he can't help due to Asperger's. Is it that she

can't remember things I've reminded her about many times, or she just

doesn't want to do them, or what? And how would I know each time?

> >

> > This is something I struggle with. Is this particular instance just

being a kid or is it Asperger's? Should I be concerned or will it pass?

Is it misbehavior or can it not be helped (consistently, anyway)? Does

anyone understand what I mean? Does anyone else struggle with this or

have any ideas? I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't seem to know,

despite all the books I've read about AS. I'll be so grateful for any

feedback on this! Thanks! --Kari

> >

>