Re: Kinda of a rant and a plea for help:(

[Guest guest]

When my kids were younger the school and therapist told us the same thing. I

noticed that my daughter stopped listening and just did what she wanted. My son

was severely ADHD and he would just run off and didn't care if he behaved he

would get more time on the computer or have a later bedtime. Same with my

daughter. Finally I listened to only one person and that was myself. I started

doing things that I felt was right. I still offered rewards for proper behavior

which I insisted on. A child does need structure, especially one on the

spectrum. He needs to learn proper behavior to keep him safe. Safety is number

one. I would find another therapist if I were you. When your son does something

right reward that. If he does something wrong let him know what he did wrong,

what he should have done right and have a consquence for bad behavior. Don't

make it a long lasting consquence but more like a time out. If he hits his

sister his time out should be seven minutes (one for each year), if he runs off

let him know he could get lost, that it worries you or he could get hurt, and

then let him know that he needs to think about what he did when he has a time

out. Some kids on the spectrum are more visual. Have a chart that shows good

behavior and what is expected. Then add a star each time he does the right

thing. (you could also remove a star when he does the wrong thing, this worked

best with my daughter but not my son, he needed that time out. My daughter

didn't care if she was in a time out or not).

I would be consistent. This is very important. It worked with both my kids,

especially the star system for my daughter. See what works best for your son.

Good luck and I hope this helps.

Robin

>

> My 7 year old son has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers on top of the

ADHD

> he was diagnosed with in January after him nearly failing 1st grade and years

of

> being told I was just high strung and he was fine or that he wasn't old enough

> to be evaluated and he was displaying 'typical' boy behavior.

>

> In August we moved from land to Arkansas in a pathetic attempt to make our

> lives better. Not knowing this would trigger some major behavioral issues, not

> knowing the child we'd been living with would change so drastically. On top

off

> this on October 10th our fourth child was born still which understandably

caused

> a lot of changes in our home as well. It was within a week of 's death

> we learned Will has AS. The therapist said my sadness was stifling Will as I

got

> very upset with him when he wandered off and we couldn't find him. She said he

> needed freedom. That I shouldn't tell him bad things can happen to children

who

> wander off. Ok fine. We've been told we shouldn't punish him. Only positive

> consequences for him ie if he walks dog in yard he can have 10 minutes on the

> computer, no if you hit your sister your going to your room cause that's not

> acceptable. Today my husband sat forever in the waiting room and all therapist

> offered was Will has sharing issues and my daughter doesn't listen. I feel

like

> my daughter, who is 4 is acting out because she's not getting attention as all

> our energy aside from meals,baths etc is dedicated in dealing with him. That

> said we have also been told we need to devote more one on one time with Will.

He

> doesn't like to eat so she's told him its ok to eat whatever he wants whenever

> he wants. Eating at night is perfectly fine. But I'm confused with that

because

> what I've read AS kids need structure and routine. This is where my plea comes

> in. What should I be doing? We're trying to move back to land as we need

> family support so we can spend more time with my younger children and perhaps

> find other services for my son as he's doing poorly in school. Am I over

> reacting and the tantrums and throwing things and other unacceptable behaviors

> are just par for the course? What is 'normal' in an AS child's life? I've

tried

> reading articles and no two really agree with the causes or treatments.

>

>

> Thanks for reading this rambling nonsense but honestly all input is welcome

>

> Jenn Lawton

>

> Mom of Will,7,allergic to peanuts tree nuts, asthmatic, environmental

allergies,

> ADHD and AS

> Willow,4, allergic to peanuts,tree nuts,eggs,seafood and

> shellfish,asthmatic,environmental allergies and eczema

> Eddie,1,allergic to peanuts,tree nuts and dairy,asthmatic,environmental

> allergies and eczema

> Sweet 10-10-10 gone but not forgotten

>

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry that your life is so stressful right now.

Life is very different with AS kids or kids with other issues.

Often they are very ridgid and if you insist they do things when

you want them too they escalate into rage. That is why the

advice you received was to use positive reinforcement. You have

to change your expectations about them listening to you

and think in terms of shaping behaviors. And it takes

so long to work on one area.

AS kids often have horrible anxiety and life is uncomfortable for

them. Your son is very young but many AS kids do get relief from

antidepressants SSRI's.

I would recommend the book " Clinical Treatment of Autism "

by Dr. Hollander to explain the medication treatments

that can help. It is definately worth at some point in the

future to see if a low dose of SSRI (like zoloft, prozac etc)

will reduce outbursts and tantrums. You would need

to see a child psychiatrist or a pediatric neurologist.

School and change often escalates meltdowns.

We had to let our daughter watch TV to get her to calm down

and sit and eat until she was about 11 and finally on

zoloft. I would give her food every 2 hours or so, so

she didn't crave sweets. I would give her cereal and milk

after dinner about 7pm. I would make raison toast and milk

again right before bed if she would eat it. Her anxiety

was so bad in grade 4 that I would pick her out at lunch

and have a hot sandwich and an milk and cookies for her.

I would play the VCR for her so she could relax. Anxiety

was at the source of all of this.

For sleep she was so anxious in the school year I had

to lay with her until she feel asleep. She still needs

this during the school year.

All AS kids have problems making and keeping friends.

They feel loneliness. The key issue is that they like

to think about their interests to the exclusion of

others. It is recommended that the parents spend

at least 1 hour 1:1 time with your AS child and talk

about their interests and help them come out of their

isolation. I feel so bad the suffering my daughter had

when she was young. She was so anxious from school it

was very hard to play with her after school. She was

very overloaded and would be doing repititive things to

calm herself. I should have tried medication for the

anxiety earlier.

Some kids with AS have more learning issues, or some

may be more hyper or some many have more anxiety,

or some may have more rage and outbursts. The emotional

problems and the extent of them vary.

Some manage in school with an IEP for special interventions

and some can't cope at all and end up in smaller special

needs schools.

Kids with AS usually need more time to do things and more

patience with their transitions in school. They are

often very disorganized and need help with this and

accomodations. Some have attentional issues. In Dr.

Hollander's book there are many clinical trials

to see how stimultants help or hurt our AS kids with

attnetional issues. The main issue is that stimulatants

often increase anxiety. But there are some that help.

In school our kids often feel lonely and isolated and need

help and support to fit in. They need social skill training.

They benefit from having groups set up so they are accepted

at lunch and in unstructured settings.

Do keep a set schedule every day but don't punish if he

takes long to stop what he is doing and switch

his mindset. Be patience and validate that you know it

is hard for him, offer to help him. With meals let

him sit at the table and ask him what will help him

that is reasonable. Would he like to have some warm

milk and a few crackers to start? And praise him for

any slight improvement no matter how small.

There are no magic treatments, it is all like teaching a

baby to walk, very gradual with lots of praise and encouragement.

I hope this helps a little. I know how hard it is to cope

with a new diagnosis and try to figure out what to do.

Pam

tyu tnaeey are s

>

> My 7 year old son has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers on top of the

ADHD

> he was diagnosed with in January after him nearly failing 1st grade and years

of

> being told I was just high strung and he was fine or that he wasn't old enough

> to be evaluated and he was displaying 'typical' boy behavior.

>

> In August we moved from land to Arkansas in a pathetic attempt to make our

> lives better. Not knowing this would trigger some major behavioral issues, not

> knowing the child we'd been living with would change so drastically. On top

off

> this on October 10th our fourth child was born still which understandably

caused

> a lot of changes in our home as well. It was within a week of 's death

> we learned Will has AS. The therapist said my sadness was stifling Will as I

got

> very upset with him when he wandered off and we couldn't find him. She said he

> needed freedom. That I shouldn't tell him bad things can happen to children

who

> wander off. Ok fine. We've been told we shouldn't punish him. Only positive

> consequences for him ie if he walks dog in yard he can have 10 minutes on the

> computer, no if you hit your sister your going to your room cause that's not

> acceptable. Today my husband sat forever in the waiting room and all therapist

> offered was Will has sharing issues and my daughter doesn't listen. I feel

like

> my daughter, who is 4 is acting out because she's not getting attention as all

> our energy aside from meals,baths etc is dedicated in dealing with him. That

> said we have also been told we need to devote more one on one time with Will.

He

> doesn't like to eat so she's told him its ok to eat whatever he wants whenever

> he wants. Eating at night is perfectly fine. But I'm confused with that

because

> what I've read AS kids need structure and routine. This is where my plea comes

> in. What should I be doing? We're trying to move back to land as we need

> family support so we can spend more time with my younger children and perhaps

> find other services for my son as he's doing poorly in school. Am I over

> reacting and the tantrums and throwing things and other unacceptable behaviors

> are just par for the course? What is 'normal' in an AS child's life? I've

tried

> reading articles and no two really agree with the causes or treatments.

>

>

> Thanks for reading this rambling nonsense but honestly all input is welcome

>

> Jenn Lawton

>

> Mom of Will,7,allergic to peanuts tree nuts, asthmatic, environmental

allergies,

> ADHD and AS

> Willow,4, allergic to peanuts,tree nuts,eggs,seafood and

> shellfish,asthmatic,environmental allergies and eczema

> Eddie,1,allergic to peanuts,tree nuts and dairy,asthmatic,environmental

> allergies and eczema

> Sweet 10-10-10 gone but not forgotten

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Jenn,

Let me start by extending my condolences on the passing of your sweet baby angel. A family member recently experienced a silent birth and I know how devastating this must be for you and your family.I am sending you a cyber hug.

I am Board Certified Behavior Analyst and Special Education teacher- Do you know anything about ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis?) I would suggest you research principles of ABA and how you can implement strategies at home. Google - ABA or Applied Behavior Analysis, If you want, privately send me your top 5 concerns & be as specific as possible- include who is usually present, where the behavior occurs, how often behavior occurs, how long it lasts, what usually happens right before the behavior and right after the behavior. ABA is a science that is driven by data. What I am proposing is not a very scientific approach since I am not observing & recording the behavior but it may give you a starting point.

I am a mom first & foremost- My oldest son had special needs and he was the inspiration for my pursuing my profession. I know all about the "blame game" and guilt that goes along with raising a special needs child. Hang in there!

Kim Cioce, BCBA

ababehavioral.com

( I am providing my website to you to check out for a brief explanation of ABA but there are tons of research and websites to check out)

[Guest guest]

Sorry but I have to disagree with the therapist. Her advice sounds like she has

never dealt with a child in a real life situation. If you don't move back to MD

then my advice would be to find a new therapist.

My first concern would be the safety issue. Our rule was that we always had to

be able to see my son or he had to be with one of us whenever we went out. There

were no exceptions to this rule.

One thing that helped my son when he got out of control was removing him from

the situation. We would have him go to a quiet place to think about what he had

done. Once he was calmed down we'd talk it out with him and have him say that he

was sorry if needed. Another thing that helped was teaching him acceptable ways

to deal with his frustration other than hitting someone. His preschool teacher

did it using a social story. I think the options she offered was squeezing a

toy, stomping his feet or saying 'NO' loudly. (My son was mostly non verbal as a

preschooler.)

We'd also always be on the lookout for triggers for bad behavior such as being

over tired or starting to get sick. My son had a lot less coping mechanisims

during those times.

We did stick to a schedule whenever we could and when we couldn't we made sure

to accomodate my son as best we could. Once when attending an anniversary party

we knew dinner would be much later than we normally ate so we stopped at McD's

and bought my son a meal then proceeded to the party. My son ate his meal and

was happy. Other parents at the party wished that they had followed our example

because the meal ended up being much later than was indicated on the invite.

Some of my neighbors have told me that my son is one of the best behaved kids

that they have encountered. So having negative consequences for certain bad

behaviors worked for him. My son is 15 now. If you need help figuring out what

will best work for your son then try to find a behavior therapist (not your

current one) who can help you develop a plan that will work for your son and

your entire family.

BTW, my son had many of the same allergies that your kids do except the nut

allergies. He's outgrown the asthma and most of the allergies except the

shellfish. He does has sensitivity to things like artificial food dyes.

Couldn't help notice all the eczema in your family. We've had great luck using

epsom salts disolved in bath water to control eczema break outs. We first

starting using the epsom salts because I heard it helped kids with sensory

issues. The fact that it helped with eczema was just a side benefit. You need to

disolve the salts in very hot water then add them to the bath water and soak for

at least 20 minutes. You can even dip a face cloth in epsom salt water then

place the face cloth on the affected area for a bit to help relieve a break out

if you are unable to soak in a bath. We haven't used any cremes for eczema since

starting the baths. This site has info about epsom salts and sensory issues.

http://www.enzymestuff.com/epsomsalts.htm#2

Caroline

>

> My 7 year old son has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers on top of the

ADHD

> he was diagnosed with in January after him nearly failing 1st grade and years

of

> being told I was just high strung and he was fine or that he wasn't old enough

> to be evaluated and he was displaying 'typical' boy behavior.

>

> In August we moved from land to Arkansas in a pathetic attempt to make our

> lives better. Not knowing this would trigger some major behavioral issues, not

> knowing the child we'd been living with would change so drastically. On top

off

> this on October 10th our fourth child was born still which understandably

caused

> a lot of changes in our home as well. It was within a week of 's death

> we learned Will has AS. The therapist said my sadness was stifling Will as I

got

> very upset with him when he wandered off and we couldn't find him. She said he

> needed freedom. That I shouldn't tell him bad things can happen to children

who

> wander off. Ok fine. We've been told we shouldn't punish him. Only positive

> consequences for him ie if he walks dog in yard he can have 10 minutes on the

> computer, no if you hit your sister your going to your room cause that's not

> acceptable. Today my husband sat forever in the waiting room and all therapist

> offered was Will has sharing issues and my daughter doesn't listen. I feel

like

> my daughter, who is 4 is acting out because she's not getting attention as all

> our energy aside from meals,baths etc is dedicated in dealing with him. That

> said we have also been told we need to devote more one on one time with Will.

He

> doesn't like to eat so she's told him its ok to eat whatever he wants whenever

> he wants. Eating at night is perfectly fine. But I'm confused with that

because

> what I've read AS kids need structure and routine. This is where my plea comes

> in. What should I be doing? We're trying to move back to land as we need

> family support so we can spend more time with my younger children and perhaps

> find other services for my son as he's doing poorly in school. Am I over

> reacting and the tantrums and throwing things and other unacceptable behaviors

> are just par for the course? What is 'normal' in an AS child's life? I've

tried

> reading articles and no two really agree with the causes or treatments.

>

>

> Thanks for reading this rambling nonsense but honestly all input is welcome

>

> Jenn Lawton

>

> Mom of Will,7,allergic to peanuts tree nuts, asthmatic, environmental

allergies,

> ADHD and AS

> Willow,4, allergic to peanuts,tree nuts,eggs,seafood and

> shellfish,asthmatic,environmental allergies and eczema

> Eddie,1,allergic to peanuts,tree nuts and dairy,asthmatic,environmental

> allergies and eczema

> Sweet 10-10-10 gone but not forgotten

>

[Guest guest]

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for your loss and all the stress on top of it.

I'm sending you lots of electronic hugs. You are a GREAT mom. Just asking for

help puts you in that category. You are getting so much conflicting information

from so many sources. I didn't go through anywhere near as much but my kids

were 3 years apart and there were similar issues with my son hitting his sister

and his sister not listening. also isn't a great eater.

It is very hard to find the right combination of structure and flexibility. The

structure is something you find slowly and it is about doing things in sequence

and maybe not sticking to strict time schedules. Though for some kids time

schedules are important. If your son can tell time and likes to do that and

would like a watch then maybe he should have one or a timer or a clock just for

him. You can find middle ground. If he likes to eat at night, build that into

the structure and see if you can get him to agree to when. " You can eat a snack

before bed, then we'll read a book, then it will be time to turn off the light. "

It won't always work, it won't always be structured, you won't always have the

energy to enforce it all but it is ok. There is this philosophy called " Good

Enough " parenting. Kids don't need perfect parents, just good enough ones. If

you're working at it, and I can see that you are, then it is likely you're doing

fine.

Sometimes your daughter might not be listening. It would help to teach her that

if your son uses words it is important for her to respond to them because words

are very hard for him. Then sometimes you can make a point of telling your son

that your daughter needs your time. Maybe you can do things with just your

daughter. Check out your local agencies to help families dealing with

disabilities. You can sometimes get respite care. We have respite care but we

hardly use it. If we hire someone to stay with the kids we get the money

reimbursed.

If you're having a hard time and yelling, you can talk to your kids about this

and talk to them about what they do when they feel very stressed. You can say,

" I'm sorry, I'm feeling very upset right now and I need a few minutes to calm

down. " They will learn to use the same words. Right now, though, do what you

can to take care of yourself. I know that's really hard. Moving back to

land where you are near family may help. land is a much better state

for services than anything I've heard about further south. If you have the

opportunity to move to County land and it's near where your family is

DO IT. That's where was diagnosed and they did a fantastic job with him.

Think about the things you've read and really try to find what you think makes

the most sense to you. My favorite parenting book isn't about asperger syndrome

and has ideas that will work for a lot of kids. It's called Raising Your

Spirited Child. It's small and a pretty quick read. You can get it at the

library. I bought my copy for 50 cents at a yard sale. My daughter's current

school has a copy in the guidance office. Which is why we chose to move to this

town in the first place.

Try not to kick yourself. Keep coming here and feel free to rant. We've all

been through the asperger things and a lot of us have dealt with sibling issues.

Those are a lot to be getting on with and you have the recent loss of your baby

on top of that. It breaks my heart to think of it. Don't let these people give

you grief. If they're tell you this, then they are not thinking about the whole

picture. Maybe you could find a counselor just for you. You might get better

advice that way AND you'd get some help dealing with your child without it being

so critical of what you're doing. You do NOT need that crap.

Hugs,

Miriam

>

> My 7 year old son has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers on top of the

ADHD

> he was diagnosed with in January after him nearly failing 1st grade and years

of

> being told I was just high strung and he was fine or that he wasn't old enough

> to be evaluated and he was displaying 'typical' boy behavior.

>

> In August we moved from land to Arkansas in a pathetic attempt to make our

> lives better. Not knowing this would trigger some major behavioral issues, not

> knowing the child we'd been living with would change so drastically. On top

off

> this on October 10th our fourth child was born still which understandably

caused

> a lot of changes in our home as well. It was within a week of 's death

> we learned Will has AS. The therapist said my sadness was stifling Will as I

got

> very upset with him when he wandered off and we couldn't find him. She said he

> needed freedom. That I shouldn't tell him bad things can happen to children

who

> wander off. Ok fine. We've been told we shouldn't punish him. Only positive

> consequences for him ie if he walks dog in yard he can have 10 minutes on the

> computer, no if you hit your sister your going to your room cause that's not

> acceptable. Today my husband sat forever in the waiting room and all therapist

> offered was Will has sharing issues and my daughter doesn't listen. I feel

like

> my daughter, who is 4 is acting out because she's not getting attention as all

> our energy aside from meals,baths etc is dedicated in dealing with him. That

> said we have also been told we need to devote more one on one time with Will.

He

> doesn't like to eat so she's told him its ok to eat whatever he wants whenever

> he wants. Eating at night is perfectly fine. But I'm confused with that

because

> what I've read AS kids need structure and routine. This is where my plea comes

> in. What should I be doing? We're trying to move back to land as we need

> family support so we can spend more time with my younger children and perhaps

> find other services for my son as he's doing poorly in school. Am I over

> reacting and the tantrums and throwing things and other unacceptable behaviors

> are just par for the course? What is 'normal' in an AS child's life? I've

tried

> reading articles and no two really agree with the causes or treatments.

>

>

> Thanks for reading this rambling nonsense but honestly all input is welcome

>

> Jenn Lawton

>

> Mom of Will,7,allergic to peanuts tree nuts, asthmatic, environmental

allergies,

> ADHD and AS

> Willow,4, allergic to peanuts,tree nuts,eggs,seafood and

> shellfish,asthmatic,environmental allergies and eczema

> Eddie,1,allergic to peanuts,tree nuts and dairy,asthmatic,environmental

> allergies and eczema

> Sweet 10-10-10 gone but not forgotten

>

[Guest guest]

Well my first advice would be to do exactly what you are doing and get near

family again when you can. Make sure you have your epipens since exzema is an

indicator that those peanut allergies might cause the severe reactions where the

throat closes up. My aspie (7) also has a peanut allergy. But only the peanut.

As far as discipline you've got to just keep on them just like all the other

kids, keeping in mind that you've got to recongnize when he is acting out

because he is being a rebellous kid and when he is acting out due to sensory or

ASPIE issues. For example he will have a difficult time handling change. You

will soon learn the signs of when he is going to act out and you can do things

like telling him well before hand on how the days schedule it going to go. Or

in other cases it might be better to not say anything at all. Your just gonna

have to tune in to his inner aspie. Once you learn all about AS you will be

able to see patterns in how you son reacts to change and different sensory

environments that are stressfull. Try to make him laugh in the mornings as this

will get his days off to a better start. Laughter reduces anxiety.

I'd also recommende Omega 3-6-9 for your kids. My personal opinion is that

because there is a link between skin sensitivity and allergies that the tissue

healing qualities of the OMEGAs might help a bit over a long time. Also they

should help with attention.

You might try melatonin at nights (start with 150-200 micrograms). It will help

him fall asleep better and also help get a better quality of sleep. Since he

probably has some sensory issues fatigue is always a problem with AS and ADHD.

I've also read where Melatonin (the dog version) is used to treat dogs for

anxiety. I don't really know if this has been studied in humans but I can tell

you it helped take a bit of the edge of for our Caleb (6).

OT, OT, OT, play, exercise......

My biggest tips for behavior is simply to make the rules clear and consistent.

Most Aspies like rules and also can like goal settting. They tend to be SQUARES

so poor behavior while they are still young can be obtained. But you've got to

realize when they are overwhelmed and learn that what to you and me might be bad

behavior is really them acting quite logically because of what they are really

perceiving.

As far as the (4) year old goes you can help her by including her in as much of

your sons therapy also. Our OT because of liability reason won't allow our (4)

year old to join Caleb it OT but he liked it too. In fact I think one of the

biggest blessings for Caleb is that his little brother is very social. We have

gone from little brother always wanting to play with solitary Caleb to Caleb now

getting upset when Nate doesn't want to play. In fact they spend the whole day

together.

To help with Calebs sensory issues I started a five exercises a day goal. I

actually started this on my own before he was even in OT. But with OT I think

the combination has really helped him a lot. I made little brother do it to.

The competition helped to push Caleb a bit. It also has helped teach compassion

as sometime we have to let little Nate win or out shine him. Early on little

Nate would alwasys pick up on things much faster. It frustrated Caleb a bit at

time. But it also showed him it could be done and acted as kind of a goal

setting for him.

I still think having the younger NT was the biggest source of help we have

gotten. Aspies tend to be socially and maturity about 2/3 their age. So you

younger daughter and son hopefully will communicate better and better. Caleb I

think picks up on Nate's sayings even to this day more than visa versa. So if

you can get them to play it will really help your ASPIE sone. Being a girl this

may be more difficult. Try to find the BOY type things your girl likes to do

and maybe they can start sharing in various forms of fun.

A slip N slide is a great way for the kids to learn how to fall with style. It

will take a ways lots of the fears of falling. It is also probably a great

source of motor planning and vestibular. Gotta get a trampoline. It helps with

integrating vestibular and proprioceptive sensory systems and is FUN FUN FUN.

Do it before school and it will have about a 30 minute affect of calming your

son down. So it might help him transition to the school setting.

I'm going to try to post an excel file of all the kinds of exercises I've done

with my kid. We are now working on ball catching.

Calling his name (gave a skittle every time he turned his head and made eye

contact, we did this for days on end, eventually he would even hear his name in

crowd. This was perhaps one of the most important things we did. Its hard to

get off go when it comes to socializing if you kid misses all the opportunities

when other kids try to get his attention. I'd even disguise my voice, etc...

Just drilled it till he got good at it.

pushing the lawn mower (proprioceptive)

trampoline (proprioceptive and vestibular)

racing barefoot (lungs, tactile, motor planning)

cruches (to help with posterior control)

tree climp( proprioceptive)

straw blowing, blowing bubbles, gum, blowing up balloons(to help with oral

behaviors)

tug of war

monkey bars (still very difficult)

kickball (he really liked this game)

PACMAN (good for eye hand coordination but don't due too much video games)

Obstacle course races (climb, run, tunnel, jump etc)kind of like those dog

agility trials.

Simon says

twisting with swinging arms

spinning him (depended on the day on how much I could do but eventually he came

around)

barefoot running (tactile, motor planning)

swinging (difficult for us but have now mastered)

rolling

sit ups,

tetherball

jumping

bounce house

merry go round

jumping jacks (took a while)

jumping on trampoline with one leg

summersalts

baseball batting using a beach ball to start out

teeball

dot drill

soccor exercises

wrestling (at first he had to be on top all the time)

OK I could go on and on. The most important tip when dealing with any of the

sensory issues and ASPIE issues is that if you see a weakness subteling or

sometime outright forcefully make your child practice the skills that are

lacking. ASPIES tend to have these issues and they also tend to be

perfectionist and tend to be immature for their age. This combinations makes

them resistant to trying anything new or things they know are difficult for

them.

With Alzeheimers one of the lessons learned is that if you don't use it you lose

it. Those skills that aren't practiced or used are lost first.

With AS and sensory issues I think its similar. Only if you never practice the

skill you never develop it. For many of Caleb's skills it took him 10 times

longer to learn but once learn many of the skills are like riding a bike. Once

your got it you got it. With each new skill is one less thing holding them

back. Even learning to sit MORE still in ones seats is powerful because it will

free them up to learning in the classroom. If your son is exhausted from trying

to control his body all day it will be very very hard to learn. So by treating

the sensory issues and helping him learn to control his body it will free up his

mind to concentrate and focus on his schooling.

You might also consider holding him back a year since as I mentioned before he

as an ASPIE is probably immature in many ways socially. This would also allow

the OT therapy kick in so he will be a more enabled learning. Plus you simply

don't want him to fall too far behind in school since so much of it require

sequential learning.

>

> My 7 year old son has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers on top of the

ADHD

> he was diagnosed with in January after him nearly failing 1st grade and years

of

> being told I was just high strung and he was fine or that he wasn't old enough

> to be evaluated and he was displaying 'typical' boy behavior.

>

> In August we moved from land to Arkansas in a pathetic attempt to make our

> lives better. Not knowing this would trigger some major behavioral issues, not

> knowing the child we'd been living with would change so drastically. On top

off

> this on October 10th our fourth child was born still which understandably

caused

> a lot of changes in our home as well. It was within a week of 's death

> we learned Will has AS. The therapist said my sadness was stifling Will as I

got

> very upset with him when he wandered off and we couldn't find him. She said he

> needed freedom. That I shouldn't tell him bad things can happen to children

who

> wander off. Ok fine. We've been told we shouldn't punish him. Only positive

> consequences for him ie if he walks dog in yard he can have 10 minutes on the

> computer, no if you hit your sister your going to your room cause that's not

> acceptable. Today my husband sat forever in the waiting room and all therapist

> offered was Will has sharing issues and my daughter doesn't listen. I feel

like

> my daughter, who is 4 is acting out because she's not getting attention as all

> our energy aside from meals,baths etc is dedicated in dealing with him. That

> said we have also been told we need to devote more one on one time with Will.

He

> doesn't like to eat so she's told him its ok to eat whatever he wants whenever

> he wants. Eating at night is perfectly fine. But I'm confused with that

because

> what I've read AS kids need structure and routine. This is where my plea comes

> in. What should I be doing? We're trying to move back to land as we need

> family support so we can spend more time with my younger children and perhaps

> find other services for my son as he's doing poorly in school. Am I over

> reacting and the tantrums and throwing things and other unacceptable behaviors

> are just par for the course? What is 'normal' in an AS child's life? I've

tried

> reading articles and no two really agree with the causes or treatments.

>

>

> Thanks for reading this rambling nonsense but honestly all input is welcome

>

> Jenn Lawton

>

> Mom of Will,7,allergic to peanuts tree nuts, asthmatic, environmental

allergies,

> ADHD and AS

> Willow,4, allergic to peanuts,tree nuts,eggs,seafood and

> shellfish,asthmatic,environmental allergies and eczema

> Eddie,1,allergic to peanuts,tree nuts and dairy,asthmatic,environmental

> allergies and eczema

> Sweet 10-10-10 gone but not forgotten

>

[Guest guest]

My son is seven and has Aspergers, and I don't agree with what your therapist

has been saying. I do think these kids need structure. I do think we need to

be understanding in some areas that they can't help much, but we have to teach

them to not hit. Now the tantrums issue takes some work. Usually I have to

find a way to calm my son down not just send him to his room. Sending him to

his room escalates things. We do not have major eating problems with him but we

do my daughter who has sensory integration disorder and may possibly have

aspergers as well, we have not gone through testing with her yet but she has

several signs. With her, we do make her sit down at mealtimes and if she

doesn't eat, she has to drink a pediasure which the doctor put her on at age two

when her eating problems started. She has to finish drinking before she can get

up for the meal. Mealtimes and snacks are all scheduled. Now for an older

child you might try ensure or carnation instant breakfast over pediasure. I

guess I am not sure how bad your eating issues are but my daughter would starve

herself without pediasure. My son is extremely picky but eats a lot of what he

does like so he does okay. If you really don't agree with your therapist, you

can try switching. We went through three clinical social workers before we

ended up with our current psychologist and OT whom we are just checking in with

now and then now. They gave us awesome advice and we are doing quite well on

our own now.

>

> My 7 year old son has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers on top of the

ADHD

> he was diagnosed with in January after him nearly failing 1st grade and years

of

> being told I was just high strung and he was fine or that he wasn't old enough

> to be evaluated and he was displaying 'typical' boy behavior.

>

> In August we moved from land to Arkansas in a pathetic attempt to make our

> lives better. Not knowing this would trigger some major behavioral issues, not

> knowing the child we'd been living with would change so drastically. On top

off

> this on October 10th our fourth child was born still which understandably

caused

> a lot of changes in our home as well. It was within a week of 's death

> we learned Will has AS. The therapist said my sadness was stifling Will as I

got

> very upset with him when he wandered off and we couldn't find him. She said he

> needed freedom. That I shouldn't tell him bad things can happen to children

who

> wander off. Ok fine. We've been told we shouldn't punish him. Only positive

> consequences for him ie if he walks dog in yard he can have 10 minutes on the

> computer, no if you hit your sister your going to your room cause that's not

> acceptable. Today my husband sat forever in the waiting room and all therapist

> offered was Will has sharing issues and my daughter doesn't listen. I feel

like

> my daughter, who is 4 is acting out because she's not getting attention as all

> our energy aside from meals,baths etc is dedicated in dealing with him. That

> said we have also been told we need to devote more one on one time with Will.

He

> doesn't like to eat so she's told him its ok to eat whatever he wants whenever

> he wants. Eating at night is perfectly fine. But I'm confused with that

because

> what I've read AS kids need structure and routine. This is where my plea comes

> in. What should I be doing? We're trying to move back to land as we need

> family support so we can spend more time with my younger children and perhaps

> find other services for my son as he's doing poorly in school. Am I over

> reacting and the tantrums and throwing things and other unacceptable behaviors

> are just par for the course? What is 'normal' in an AS child's life? I've

tried

> reading articles and no two really agree with the causes or treatments.

>

>

> Thanks for reading this rambling nonsense but honestly all input is welcome

>

> Jenn Lawton

>

> Mom of Will,7,allergic to peanuts tree nuts, asthmatic, environmental

allergies,

> ADHD and AS

> Willow,4, allergic to peanuts,tree nuts,eggs,seafood and

> shellfish,asthmatic,environmental allergies and eczema

> Eddie,1,allergic to peanuts,tree nuts and dairy,asthmatic,environmental

> allergies and eczema

> Sweet 10-10-10 gone but not forgotten

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Jenn,

I want to add my hugs and condolences to you. I'm sorry for the loss of your

son, as well as the hard year you've had. I think the others gave you some good

advice to start with. So, I just wanted to add my empathy and welcome to you.