Re: Gender issues and autism

[Guest guest]

This needs to be looked into farther. My son has Asperger's with sensory issues - tactile dysfunction. I have to cut the tags out of ALL of his clothes, make sure there are no strings on them, OH NO if any of my hair is on them, and his shoes can't have the strings that tie. He's 12.5. When he comes home, all of his clothes come off, except for his boxer briefs.He's been called girly, gay, fag, even by his own father. Some even say he will turn out to be gay because of the way he acts.I accept him for how and who he is and will never judge him, but I never realized the connection between the 'male brain' before. You got me thinking now...The Asperger Child Incwww.TheAspergerChild.org From: julie1013 <julie1013@...>"ShadowSyndromeKids " <ShadowSyndromeKids >; "Aspergers Syndrome " <Aspergers Syndrome >; "aspergershighfunctioningautism " <aspergershighfunctioningautism >; "aspergers-teens " <aspergers-teens >; "Autism and Aspergers Treatment " <Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Sent: Fri, June 18, 2010 10:46:20 PMSubject: Gender issues and autism

As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.†Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?

Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because sensory issues make pants— anything touching her legs— uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

[Guest guest]

His father calls him this? I assume he’s divorced from you.

What kind of pants does he wear?

How does he act that people call him gay?

Anyway lots of people say that AS is the ultimate male brain because it’s extreme systemizing rather than empathizing.

On 6/19/10 1:17 AM, " Baer " <amandabaer76@...> wrote:

This needs to be looked into farther. My son has Asperger's with sensory issues - tactile dysfunction. I have to cut the tags out of ALL of his clothes, make sure there are no strings on them, OH NO if any of my hair is on them, and his shoes can't have the strings that tie. He's 12.5. When he comes home, all of his clothes come off, except for his boxer briefs.

He's been called girly, gay, fag, even by his own father. Some even say he will turn out to be gay because of the way he acts.

I accept him for how and who he is and will never judge him, but I never realized the connection between the 'male brain' before. You got me thinking now...

The Asperger Child Inc

www.TheAspergerChild.org <http://www.TheAspergerChild.org>

From: julie1013 <julie1013@...>

" ShadowSyndromeKids " <ShadowSyndromeKids >; " Aspergers Syndrome " <Aspergers Syndrome >; " aspergershighfunctioningautism " <aspergershighfunctioningautism >; " aspergers-teens " <aspergers-teens >; " Autism and Aspergers Treatment " <Autism and Aspergers Treatment >

Sent: Fri, June 18, 2010 10:46:20 PM

Subject: Gender issues and autism

As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.” Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?

Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because sensory issues make pants— anything touching her legs— uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

[Guest guest]

yes, we have been divorced for 10 years. he thinks our sn has no problems and that doctors are wrong, blah blah blah. i hear charlie browns teacher when he and i did communicate. we no longer even talk about our son.He always wants to wear silky shorts, even when it's cold outside. A hooded sweatshirt when it's hot out, makes no sense to me. But he likes to cover his head. I think it's to hide.He gets upset and cries when he is at home when people call him gay, especially his dad. He gets intensely aggressive when people make fun of me (kids - when they have never seen me). His older half brother, 18, picks on him, sides with the father and they pick on him together... it's rather sad. He keeps calling me wanting to come home. I want

him here too. But, it's his dads part of the summer until July 1st. It's killing me.From: julie1013 <julie1013@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Sat, June 19, 2010 8:45:45 AMSubject: Re: Gender issues and autism

His father calls him this? I assume he’s divorced from you.

What kind of pants does he wear?

How does he act that people call him gay?

Anyway lots of people say that AS is the ultimate male brain because it’s extreme systemizing rather than empathizing.

On 6/19/10 1:17 AM, " Baer" <amandabaer76> wrote:

This needs to be looked into farther. My son has Asperger's with sensory issues - tactile dysfunction. I have to cut the tags out of ALL of his clothes, make sure there are no strings on them, OH NO if any of my hair is on them, and his shoes can't have the strings that tie. He's 12.5. When he comes home, all of his clothes come off, except for his boxer briefs.

He's been called girly, gay, fag, even by his own father. Some even say he will turn out to be gay because of the way he acts.

I accept him for how and who he is and will never judge him, but I never realized the connection between the 'male brain' before. You got me thinking now...

The Asperger Child Inc

www.TheAspergerChil d.org <http://www.TheAsper gerChild. org>

From: julie1013 <julie1013@optonline .net>

"ShadowSyndromeKids" <ShadowSyndromeKids>; "Aspergers Syndrome" <Aspergers Syndrome>; "aspergershighfuncti oningautism" <aspergershighfuncti oningautism>; "aspergers-teens" <aspergers-teens>; "Autism and Aspergers Treatment" <Autism and Aspergers Treatment>

Sent: Fri, June 18, 2010 10:46:20 PM

Subject: Gender issues and autism

As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.†Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?

Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because sensory issues make pants— anything touching her legs— uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

[Guest guest]

My son is also 12 with sensory issues. All tage removed, prefers shorts and t-shirts. aka hates winter. But if I may comment, Aspies have EXTREME EMPATHY, providing it is with animals, or something we can relate to. As an adult, my empathy increased for others, still not all situations, but to the point that I can no longer watch movies such as "saving private ryan", titanic, schindlers list etc. We are not the robots people think we are. Its atually NT's that have become de-sensitized.

From: julie1013 <julie1013@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Sat, June 19, 2010 8:45:45 AMSubject: Re: Gender issues and autism

His father calls him this? I assume he’s divorced from you.What kind of pants does he wear?How does he act that people call him gay?Anyway lots of people say that AS is the ultimate male brain because it’s extreme systemizing rather than empathizing.On 6/19/10 1:17 AM, " Baer" <amandabaer76> wrote:

This needs to be looked into farther. My son has Asperger's with sensory issues - tactile dysfunction. I have to cut the tags out of ALL of his clothes, make sure there are no strings on them, OH NO if any of my hair is on them, and his shoes can't have the strings that tie. He's 12.5. When he comes home, all of his clothes come off, except for his boxer briefs.He's been called girly, gay, fag, even by his own father. Some even say he will turn out to be gay because of the way he acts.I accept him for how and who he is and will never judge him, but I never realized the connection between the 'male brain' before. You got me thinking now...The Asperger Child Incwww.TheAspergerChil d.org <http://www.TheAsper gerChild. org>

From: julie1013 <julie1013@optonline .net>"ShadowSyndromeKids" <ShadowSyndromeKids>; "Aspergers Syndrome" <Aspergers Syndrome>; "aspergershighfuncti oningautism" <aspergershighfuncti oningautism>; "aspergers-teens" <aspergers-teens>; "Autism and Aspergers Treatment" <Autism and Aspergers Treatment>Sent: Fri, June 18, 2010 10:46:20 PMSubject: Gender issues and autism As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.†Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because sensory issues make pants— anything touching her legs— uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such situations? There should be

something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

[Guest guest]

Where are you getting this information about boys having the ultimate male brain? I think a boy wanting to wear a dress transcends sensory issues. All of this is, of course, really personal in how you deal with it. I would consider how you feel about it and find a psychologist that supports your position and start seeing that person. Good luck!Sent via BlackBerry by AT&TFrom: julie1013 <julie1013@...>Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2010 22:46:20 -0400ShadowSyndromeKids <ShadowSyndromeKids >; < >; aspergershighfunctioningautism <aspergershighfunctioningautism >; aspergers-teens <aspergers-teens >; Autism and Aspergers Treatment <Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Subject: ( ) Gender issues and autism As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.” Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because sensory issues make pants— anything touching her legs— uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

[Guest guest]

For the sensory issue. My guy wears silk skivies. He tends to run without clothes when he can. He is not as extreme about that kind of thing, but he likes silk. My mom made me take his baby blanket away when he got school age... I often wonder how bad an idea that was since this is when a lot of his behavior came out. I don't know anything about the ultimate male brain, but I know we have issues with what is appropriate to watch and what isn't as he can get just about ANY type of movie online *sigh*

This needs to be looked into farther. My son has Asperger's with sensory issues - tactile dysfunction. I have to cut the tags out of ALL of his clothes, make sure there are no strings on them, OH NO if any of my hair is on them, and his shoes can't have the strings that tie. He's 12.5. When he comes home, all of his clothes come off, except for his boxer briefs.

He's been called girly, gay, fag, even by his own father. Some even say he will turn out to be gay because of the way he acts.

I accept him for how and who he is and will never judge him, but I never realized the connection between the 'male brain' before. You got me thinking now...

The Asperger Child Inc

www.TheAspergerChil d.org <http://www.TheAsper gerChild. org>

From: julie1013 <julie1013@optonline .net>

"ShadowSyndromeKids" <ShadowSyndromeKids>; "Aspergers Syndrome" <Aspergers Syndrome>; "aspergershighfuncti oningautism" <aspergershighfuncti oningautism>; "aspergers-teens" <aspergers-teens>; "Autism and Aspergers Treatment" <Autism and Aspergers Treatment>

Sent: Fri, June 18, 2010 10:46:20 PM

Subject: Gender issues and autism

As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.†Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?

Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because sensory issues make pants— anything touching her legs— uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

[Guest guest]

"There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory issues..."There are. Kilts have been worn for centuries in Europe, and "utilikilts" have become something of a fashion trend, at least up here in the Seattle area.

[Guest guest]

My son does not seem to have that problem, but maybe instead of a skirt or dress, a really soft knit short might be an option to consider. Zach my ds sensory issue is socks, we have to buy the gap kids socks that are seamless or have the seam on the out side instead of the inside.

From: smacalli@... <smacalli@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Gender issues and autism Date: Saturday, June 19, 2010, 9:43 PM

Where are you getting this information about boys having the ultimate male brain? I think a boy wanting to wear a dress transcends sensory issues. All of this is, of course, really personal in how you deal with it. I would consider how you feel about it and find a psychologist that supports your position and start seeing that person. Good luck!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT & T

From: julie1013 <julie1013@optonline .net>

Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2010 22:46:20 -0400

ShadowSyndromeKids<ShadowSyndromeKids>; < >; aspergershighfuncti oningautism<aspergershighfuncti oningautism>; aspergers-teens<aspergers-teens>; Autism and Aspergers Treatment<Autism and Aspergers Treatment>

Subject: ( ) Gender issues and autism

As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.†Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because sensory issues make pants— anything touching her legs— uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory

issues...

[Guest guest]

Start seeing that person? I don’t have a kid. I’m just wondering is all. Anyway some boys want to wear skirts because of gender identity issues, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some boys want to because of sensory issues. I am curious if that has ever come up is all.

On 6/19/10 5:43 PM, " smacalli@... " <smacalli@...> wrote:

Where are you getting this information about boys having the ultimate male brain? I think a boy wanting to wear a dress transcends sensory issues. All of this is, of course, really personal in how you deal with it. I would consider how you feel about it and find a psychologist that supports your position and start seeing that person. Good luck!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT

From: julie1013 <julie1013@...>

Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2010 22:46:20 -0400

ShadowSyndromeKids <ShadowSyndromeKids >; < >; aspergershighfunctioningautism <aspergershighfunctioningautism >; aspergers-teens <aspergers-teens >; Autism and Aspergers Treatment <Autism and Aspergers Treatment >

Subject: ( ) Gender issues and autism

As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.” Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?

Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because sensory issues make pants— anything touching her legs— uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

[Guest guest]

I assumed you had a child because of the question you asked. I think you are making a jump between boys with sensory issues leading to them maybe wanting to wear skirts. In most families, it's not an option so it wouldn't even be something to choose between. You made an assumption that we all knew about autistic boys usually having the "ultimate male brain." Where did you get this info? And why are you asking multiple listservs the same question about this but you don't have a child?Sent via BlackBerry by AT&TFrom: julie1013 <julie1013@...>Date: Sat, 19 Jun 2010 20:55:16 -0400< >Subject: Re: ( ) Gender issues and autism Start seeing that person? I don’t have a kid. I’m just wondering is all. Anyway some boys want to wear skirts because of gender identity issues, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some boys want to because of sensory issues. I am curious if that has ever come up is all.On 6/19/10 5:43 PM, " smacalli " <smacalli > wrote: Where are you getting this information about boys having the ultimate male brain? I think a boy wanting to wear a dress transcends sensory issues. All of this is, of course, really personal in how you deal with it. I would consider how you feel about it and find a psychologist that supports your position and start seeing that person. Good luck!Sent via BlackBerry by ATFrom: julie1013 <julie1013optonline (DOT) net> Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2010 22:46:20 -0400ShadowSyndromeKids <ShadowSyndromeKids >; < >; aspergershighfunctioningautism <aspergershighfunctioningautism >; aspergers-teens <aspergers-teens >; Autism and Aspergers Treatment <Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Subject: ( ) Gender issues and autism As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.” Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because sensory issues make pants— anything touching her legs— uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

[Guest guest]

Yeah well NTs I think have less empathy because they’re more likely to be bullies.

On 6/19/10 9:21 AM, " Misty Rose " <mlr3475080@...> wrote:

My son is also 12 with sensory issues. All tage removed, prefers shorts and t-shirts. aka hates winter. But if I may comment, Aspies have EXTREME EMPATHY, providing it is with animals, or something we can relate to. As an adult, my empathy increased for others, still not all situations, but to the point that I can no longer watch movies such as " saving private ryan " , titanic, schindlers list etc. We are not the robots people think we are. Its atually NT's that have become de-sensitized.

From: julie1013 <julie1013@...>

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Sent: Sat, June 19, 2010 8:45:45 AM

Subject: Re: Gender issues and autism

His father calls him this? I assume he’s divorced from you.

What kind of pants does he wear?

How does he act that people call him gay?

Anyway lots of people say that AS is the ultimate male brain because it’s extreme systemizing rather than empathizing.

On 6/19/10 1:17 AM, " Baer " <amandabaer76> wrote:

This needs to be looked into farther. My son has Asperger's with sensory issues - tactile dysfunction. I have to cut the tags out of ALL of his clothes, make sure there are no strings on them, OH NO if any of my hair is on them, and his shoes can't have the strings that tie. He's 12.5. When he comes home, all of his clothes come off, except for his boxer briefs.

He's been called girly, gay, fag, even by his own father. Some even say he will turn out to be gay because of the way he acts.

I accept him for how and who he is and will never judge him, but I never realized the connection between the 'male brain' before. You got me thinking now...

The Asperger Child Inc

www.TheAspergerChil d.org <http://d.org/> <http://www.TheAsper gerChild. org <http://www.theaspergerchild.org/> >

From: julie1013 <julie1013@optonline .net>

" ShadowSyndromeKids " <ShadowSyndromeKids>; " Aspergers Syndrome " <Aspergers Syndrome>; " aspergershighfuncti oningautism " <aspergershighfuncti oningautism>; " aspergers-teens " <aspergers-teens>; " Autism and Aspergers Treatment " <Autism and Aspergers Treatment>

Sent: Fri, June 18, 2010 10:46:20 PM

Subject: Gender issues and autism

As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.” Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?

Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because sensory issues make pants— anything touching her legs— uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

[Guest guest]

Have you fought for full custody? That’s so messed up that he would be put through this. Why do they call him gay? Because he’s not macho? Or is he effeminate? Not that it should matter. Just wondering.

On 6/19/10 8:51 AM, " Baer " <amandabaer76@...> wrote:

yes, we have been divorced for 10 years. he thinks our sn has no problems and that doctors are wrong, blah blah blah. i hear charlie browns teacher when he and i did communicate. we no longer even talk about our son.

He always wants to wear silky shorts, even when it's cold outside. A hooded sweatshirt when it's hot out, makes no sense to me. But he likes to cover his head. I think it's to hide.

He gets upset and cries when he is at home when people call him gay, especially his dad. He gets intensely aggressive when people make fun of me (kids - when they have never seen me). His older half brother, 18, picks on him, sides with the father and they pick on him together... it's rather sad. He keeps calling me wanting to come home. I want him here too. But, it's his dads part of the summer until July 1st. It's killing me.

From: julie1013 <julie1013@...>

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Sent: Sat, June 19, 2010 8:45:45 AM

Subject: Re: Gender issues and autism

His father calls him this? I assume he’s divorced from you.

What kind of pants does he wear?

How does he act that people call him gay?

Anyway lots of people say that AS is the ultimate male brain because it’s extreme systemizing rather than empathizing.

On 6/19/10 1:17 AM, " Baer " <amandabaer76> wrote:

This needs to be looked into farther. My son has Asperger's with sensory issues - tactile dysfunction. I have to cut the tags out of ALL of his clothes, make sure there are no strings on them, OH NO if any of my hair is on them, and his shoes can't have the strings that tie. He's 12.5. When he comes home, all of his clothes come off, except for his boxer briefs.

He's been called girly, gay, fag, even by his own father. Some even say he will turn out to be gay because of the way he acts.

I accept him for how and who he is and will never judge him, but I never realized the connection between the 'male brain' before. You got me thinking now...

The Asperger Child Inc

www.TheAspergerChil d.org <http://d.org> <http://www.TheAsper gerChild. org <http://www.TheAspergerChild.org> >

From: julie1013 <julie1013@optonline .net>

" ShadowSyndromeKids " <ShadowSyndromeKids>; " Aspergers Syndrome " <Aspergers Syndrome>; " aspergershighfuncti oningautism " <aspergershighfuncti oningautism>; " aspergers-teens " <aspergers-teens>; " Autism and Aspergers Treatment " <Autism and Aspergers Treatment>

Sent: Fri, June 18, 2010 10:46:20 PM

Subject: Gender issues and autism

As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.” Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?

Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because sensory issues make pants— anything touching her legs— uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

[Guest guest]

Because I am on the autism spectrum and I am writing a book. If a girl has sensory issues, it’s easy enough for her to wear “boy” clothes such as pants. But what if the reverse happens? I want to know how people would accommodate such a unique situation.

There is a book by Simon Baron-Cohen called The Essential Difference and the extreme male brain thing is outlined there.

On 6/20/10 12:43 AM, " smacalli@... " <smacalli@...> wrote:

I assumed you had a child because of the question you asked. I think you are making a jump between boys with sensory issues leading to them maybe wanting to wear skirts. In most families, it's not an option so it wouldn't even be something to choose between. You made an assumption that we all knew about autistic boys usually having the " ultimate male brain. " Where did you get this info? And why are you asking multiple listservs the same question about this but you don't have a child?

Sent via BlackBerry by AT

From: julie1013 <julie1013@...>

Date: Sat, 19 Jun 2010 20:55:16 -0400

< >

Subject: Re: ( ) Gender issues and autism

Start seeing that person? I don’t have a kid. I’m just wondering is all. Anyway some boys want to wear skirts because of gender identity issues, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some boys want to because of sensory issues. I am curious if that has ever come up is all.

On 6/19/10 5:43 PM, " smacalli@... " <smacalli@...> wrote:

Where are you getting this information about boys having the ultimate male brain? I think a boy wanting to wear a dress transcends sensory issues. All of this is, of course, really personal in how you deal with it. I would consider how you feel about it and find a psychologist that supports your position and start seeing that person. Good luck!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT

From: julie1013 <julie1013@...>

Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2010 22:46:20 -0400

ShadowSyndromeKids <ShadowSyndromeKids >; < >; aspergershighfunctioningautism <aspergershighfunctioningautism >; aspergers-teens <aspergers-teens >; Autism and Aspergers Treatment <Autism and Aspergers Treatment >

Subject: ( ) Gender issues and autism

As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.” Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?

Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because sensory issues make pants— anything touching her legs— uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

[Guest guest]

It's appropriate that I read this today - Father's Day. I would like to say that this theory of the "ultimate male brain" is pretty insulting to men overall and it also does not represent autism and the severe disability that affects people with autism to say that they are just like a man. Being a man doesn't make you autistic or even close to that. Many men are/can be caring, empathetic, social, able to live and work independently. They get married, help raise daughters and sons. So I really don't like having them lumped into this non-category. Girls can be tomboys and not autistic as well. In fact, tomboys generally "don't" wear dresses which means they are more likely to wear pants and not dresses. So that does not even match what you are saying.

You also discussed boys wearing dresses for sensory issues and I sort of laughed when I saw that. As if these kids do not have enough about them that says "I'm strange", you want to dress them in girly clothes? I can't think of a better way to get them beat up every day, ridiculed and have zero friends. The second part to this is that "sensory" is not static. People learn and develop over time, autistic and NT people are the same this way. What might be a sensitivity at one point does not mean it will always be a sensitivity or that it cannot be dealt with.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Gender issues and autism

As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.†Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?

Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because sensory issues make pants— anything touching her legs— uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

[Guest guest]

Roxanna,My thoughts exactly.DeanaSent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...>Sender: Date: Sun, 20 Jun 2010 20:54:22 -0400< >Reply Subject: Re: ( ) Gender issues and autism It's appropriate that I read this today - Father's Day. I would like to say that this theory of the "ultimate male brain" is pretty insulting to men overall and it also does not represent autism and the severe disability that affects people with autism to say that they are just like a man. Being a man doesn't make you autistic or even close to that. Many men are/can be caring, empathetic, social, able to live and work independently. They get married, help raise daughters and sons. So I really don't like having them lumped into this non-category. Girls can be tomboys and not autistic as well. In fact, tomboys generally "don't" wear dresses which means they are more likely to wear pants and not dresses. So that does not even match what you are saying. You also discussed boys wearing dresses for sensory issues and I sort of laughed when I saw that. As if these kids do not have enough about them that says "I'm strange", you want to dress them in girly clothes? I can't think of a better way to get them beat up every day, ridiculed and have zero friends. The second part to this is that "sensory" is not static. People learn and develop over time, autistic and NT people are the same this way. What might be a sensitivity at one point does not mean it will always be a sensitivity or that it cannot be dealt with. RoxannaWhenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. ( ) Gender issues and autism As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.†Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because sensory issues make pants— anything touching her legs— uncomfortable. I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

[Guest guest]

The " ultimate male brain " is one theory of many, and not really well known here

in the states. It's a theory posited by Simon Baron-Cohen a well-known UK

researcher. I think you may have thrown some people off by assuming everyone

knows this book/theory. I have no idea how gender expression ties in (or if it

does) with Asperger's but if my son had that sensitivity, the obvious solution

would be a kilt, not a skirt. If you are assuming the theory to be correct, then

the ultimate male expression of going about in something other than

pants/shorts, would be the kilt. But as others have pointed out sensory issues

manifest differently for each child who has them. Occupational Therapy to

desensitize the child's legs gradually would probably be the best suggestion. To

be in that kind of discomfort constantly would affect day to day life, so some

sort of intervention through OT is what I imagine would work best.

-April

>

> As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the ³ultimate male brain.²

> Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But

> how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more

> girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents

> handled it?

>

> Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because

> sensory issues make pants‹ anything touching her legs‹ uncomfortable. I was

> wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if

> so what¹s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or

> a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the

> school about why), and many parents don¹t want to take that risk. So what do

> parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a

> skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I actually prefer pants over skirts - more comfortable as I like to be warm.

Nothing with fixed waistbands or denim etc - too irritating.

I think dressing a boy in a skirt will invite more teasing.

Miranda

> >

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >> Where are you getting this information about boys having the ultimate male

> >> brain? I think a boy wanting to wear a dress transcends sensory issues.

All

> >> of this is, of course, really personal in how you deal with it. I would

> >> consider how you feel about it and find a psychologist that supports your

> >> position and start seeing that person. Good luck!

> >>

> >> Sent via BlackBerry by AT

> >>

> >>

> >> From: julie1013 <julie1013@...>

> >> Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2010 22:46:20 -0400

> >> ShadowSyndromeKids <ShadowSyndromeKids >;

> >> < >;

> >>

aspergershighfunctioningautism <aspergershighfunctioningautism

> >> >;

> >> aspergers-teens <aspergers-teens >;

> >> Autism and Aspergers Treatment <Autism and Aspergers Treatment >

> >> Subject: ( ) Gender issues and autism

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >> As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the ³ultimate male brain.²

> >> Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But

how

> >> often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly?

> >> Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?

> >>

> >> Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because

> >> sensory issues make pants‹ anything touching her legs‹ uncomfortable. I was

> >> wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if

> >> so what¹s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt

or

> >> a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the

> >> school about why), and many parents don¹t want to take that risk. So what

do

> >> parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a

skirt

> >> for boys with leg sensory issues...

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I am a female thinker INTP, which goes against the stereotype that males are

thinkers (objective) and females are feelers (subjective). I don't like the

male brain theory as it is reinforcing an incorrect stereotype that males are

thinkers and have no feelings

Miranda

> >

> > As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the ³ultimate male brain.²

> > Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But

> > how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more

> > girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents

> > handled it?

> >

> > Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because

> > sensory issues make pants‹ anything touching her legs‹ uncomfortable. I was

> > wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if

> > so what¹s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or

> > a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the

> > school about why), and many parents don¹t want to take that risk. So what do

> > parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a

> > skirt for boys with leg sensory issues...

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

my son used to have a " blankie " made of very soft wool and satin which was his

comforter - he would rub it between his fingers and suck his thumb. I think it

originated from tugging on my hair (which was long and silky) while

breast-feeding. He now has a tongue-licking tic and spreads his fingers (which

may be unrelated).

He often refuses to wear shoes

Miranda

>

>

>

>

>

>  

>

>  

>

>    

>

>

>

> This needs to be looked into farther. My son has Asperger's with sensory

issues - tactile dysfunction. I have to cut the tags out of ALL of his clothes,

make sure there are no strings on  them, OH NO if any of my hair is on them,

and his shoes can't have the strings that tie. He's 12.5. When he comes home,

all of his clothes come off, except for his boxer briefs.

>

>

>

> He's been called girly, gay, fag, even by his own father. Some even say he

will turn out to be gay because of the way he acts.

>

>

>

> I accept him for how and who he is and will never judge him, but I never

realized the connection between the 'male brain' before. You got me thinking

now...

>

>

>

>

>

> The Asperger Child Inc

>

> www.TheAspergerChil d.org <http://www.TheAsper gerChild. org>  

>

>

>

> From: julie1013 <julie1013@optonline .net>

>

> " ShadowSyndromeKids " <ShadowSyndromeKids@ groups.

com>; " Aspergers Syndrome " <Aspergers Syndrome>;

" aspergershighfuncti oningautism " <aspergershighfuncti

oningautism>; " aspergers-teens "

<aspergers-teens>; " Autism and Aspergers Treatment "

<Autism and Aspergers Treatment>

>

> Sent: Fri, June 18, 2010 10:46:20 PM

>

> Subject: Gender issues and autism

>

>

>

>   

>

>    

>

>

>

> As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the “ultimate male brain.â€

Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous tomboys. But how

often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are more girly? Have

there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents handled it?

>

>

>

> Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because

sensory issues make pants†" anything touching her legs†" uncomfortable. I was

wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and if so

what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a skirt or a

dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the school

about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what do parents

do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt for boys

with leg sensory issues...

>

>

>

>

>

>  

>

>  

>

>

>

>  

>

>  

>

>    

>

[Guest guest]

That's what my mum did with his blankie. He also used to pluck tiny pieces of

wool off it and eat it. He liked both the satin trim and the very soft wool

(wasn't scratchy at all - I chose it - ha ha)

Miranda

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Â

> >

> > Â

> >

> > Â Â Â

> >

> >

> >

> > This needs to be looked into farther. My son has Asperger's with sensory

issues - tactile dysfunction. I have to cut the tags out of ALL of his clothes,

make sure there are no strings on  them, OH NO if any of my hair is on them,

and his shoes can't have the strings that tie. He's 12.5. When he comes home,

all of his clothes come off, except for his boxer briefs.

> >

> >

> >

> > He's been called girly, gay, fag, even by his own father. Some even say he

will turn out to be gay because of the way he acts.

> >

> >

> >

> > I accept him for how and who he is and will never judge him, but I never

realized the connection between the 'male brain' before. You got me thinking

now...

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > The Asperger Child Inc

> >

> > www.TheAspergerChil d.org<http://www.TheAsper gerChild. org> Â

> >

> >

> >

> > From: julie1013 <julie1013@optonline .net>

> >

> > " ShadowSyndromeKids " <ShadowSyndromeKids@

groups. com>; " Aspergers Syndrome " <Aspergers Syndrome@

groups. com>; " aspergershighfunct i oningautism "

<aspergershighfuncti oningautism>; " aspergers-teens@

groups. com " <aspergers-teens>; " Autism and Aspergers Treatment@

groups. com " <Autism and Aspergers Treatment>

> >

> > Sent: Fri, June 18, 2010 10:46:20 PM

> >

> > Subject: Gender issues and autism

> >

> >

> >

> > Â Â

> >

> > Â Â Â

> >

> >

> >

> > As many of us know, the autistic brain is often the  " ultimate male

brain.†Not surprisingly, many girls on the spectrum are androgynous

tomboys. But how often are there boys who, while still identifying as male, are

more girly? Have there been reports about that? If so, how have the parents

handled it?

> >

> >

> >

> > Recently, I spoke to a woman who says she will only wear dresses because

sensory issues make pants†" anything touching her legs†" uncomfortable.

I was wondering if any parents here have boys who have such sensory issues and

if so what’s done about it. Obviously the decision to let a boy wear a

skirt or a dress is one that has to have a lot of preparation (ie talking to the

school about why), and many parents don’t want to take that risk. So what

do parents do in such situations? There should be something sort of like a skirt

for boys with leg sensory issues...

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Â

> >

> > Â

> >

> >

> >

> > Â

> >

> > Â

> >

> > Â Â Â

> >

>