Re: Difficult and time consuming decison making

[Guest guest]

My daughter has similar difficulties, especially in store situations. I

remember a trip to the bookstore where she had earned the opportunity to pick

several books, and she was excited about it, and when we got into the store she

started acting very " droopy " and sulky.

NOW I know (and she knows, so she can articulate it) that it isn't just the fact

of making the choice that overwhelms her. It is the setting as well -- too much

visual stimulation, combined with store lighting and smells and noise and her

internal sense of pressure about having to make a decision fast.

She's been able to explain (and we also had some extensive testing done that

helped us understand this, among other phenomena) that she gets into the store

and almost can't see individual books because her brain gets overwhelmed at the

walls of books. Sort of like seeing a group of blurry trees and not being able

to pick out individual leaves.

So, we know that the sensory overload and psychological overload of decision

making in that setting really does " trip " her brain wiring. Now, I choose a

book or two and say " Does this look good? " And for clothes shopping, we either

go to one store, I select three things and she chooses, and/or we do a lot of

online shopping where she can look at home without the sensory overload.

It helped me a lot to learn and understand that it isn't my daughter's " fault "

-- it's just overload.

[Guest guest]

have you limited the choices she has? i.e. give her three choices next time you shop - or just two? see if that helps? Have her decide before you get to the store from several choices. Have her keep a running list of things she wants and let her see how one choice is not "the only choice she can ever make" as she crosses things off the list. then she might be able to make a choice because she knows she can get the next thing on her list the next time? Sounds like being in the store could be what is confusing - so much going on - that she may not be able to focus. You could try teaching how to shop step by step as well, if that seems to help. Get a list, show her how we use the list to get what we need, etc. Try quieter stores or less crowded times - hard to tell what is causing the problem but let us know if anything works!

If you shop after a school day, it might be just too much to add to the day. But if she also has this problem on weekends, then that isn't it. My 2 ds's with HFA do not shop. lol. My oldest hates going to a store and when he does, he gets what we went to get. Then he gets annoyed if I want to look around. With the younger one, he gets what he needs and then he's "tired" and hopes I hurry up so he can get home. It's all about him. They do ok picking out what they want though.

Choices would be really tough, though. Think about it! If it's a choice where any of the items picked have the same weight - how do you choose? It is just something people learn over time but if you need to break it down and teach it - wow, that is a big one. She may not have those thoughts going through her mind of "I like purple, so I'll pick the purple thing." or "I'm hungry so I pick the candy bar" etc. If you didn't have that self-talk going on in your head, making a decision could be really difficult. How do you eliminate the items to find the one you want? You might need to walk her though "how to think" and eliminate in order to choose? Just thinking out loud...

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Difficult and time consuming decison making

Have your AS children had issues with taking too

long to make a decision. Such as not thinking any option

is good enough and seeing flaws and being locked into

keeping changing their mind and insisting they have to?

I have drastically reduced shopping and giving options and

that of course helps.

Anytime though we try to exposure her to some options she is

backed into confusion. We may spend over an hour in a store

trying to select a reward that she has earned. She

may not be able to decide. If I decide for her and leave

we have a huge meltdown, huge. Yet she is motivated to

earn rewards for shopping, she is very stimulated by the

choices.

What in the world is going on? She is on zoloft. It helps

with anxiety but not with this area.

The problem seems to be that making choices for her is very

pleasurable she wants to shop, make choices at school

on science projects yet she is overstimulated by it and she

gets into a ridgid mindset.

Any ideas?

Pam