Re: Excellent IEP meeting (accomodations)

[Guest guest]

I really think was different from day one. I noticed a lack of eye contact when he was an infant. It was like he was looking through me or past me. I couldn't see any eye color, either! It was like his eyes were extremely dilated or something. He was happy but it took a LOT to get him to pay attention to people. He was my first so I didn't realize I was having to work SO hard to get him to laugh and smile and just BE in my world. So I joined him in his world and I talked endlessly to him about what he was doing. I didn't have any thoughts of him being autistic. Well, occasionally I'd worry a bit but he had so many amazing strengths that it kind of overshadowed my worries. He knew the alphabet by 1 year. He was completely obsessed with it. I noticed him making what I thought were

baby noises. DEEEEE, ZEEEEE, EEEEE. He would pick up different letters of the alphabet at the same time. They corresponded with what he was saying! I noticed him pointing to page numbers or trying to touch page numbers in his books when he was very little, like around 6 months or so. I noticed saw other kids as interesting moving objects just like he did toy trains or dogs. He'd scream and squeal at any of them in exactly the same way.

He learned to talk at the normal time but his vocabulary was completely unrelated to anything involving human interaction. It was the alphabet and numbers and the word "clock".

seemed to think I knew where he was even when I wasn't around, he never looked for me or worried he wouldn't find me when he was a toddler. He'd just get out the door and go wandering and I'd be running down the street looking for him. I thought about this later and realized it was a perfect example of mind-blindness. It didn't occur to him I might not have in my head what he had in his. I think he was reluctant to see us as two separate beings. He wouldn't CALL me anything. I would say, "I'm MAMA" and he'd say "NO!" I don't really remember him reaching to be picked up. He did eventually get to where he would try to communicate but it was very difficult and he couldn't use words most of the time. He used a combination of words and actions or charades type behavior. One time we got out of the car after a long morning at the mall and he went crazy screaming and wanting to go back out to

the garage. Me being a very flexible human being helped. I just thought, "Well, it seems rather important to him, maybe I should just pay attention." He ran to the car, got in, looked for the garage door opener, sat in his car seat, tried to buckle himself in and pressed the button on the opener." I said, "What do you want, ?" He said, "More riding! Get fries!" He couldn't tell me a THING until he went through that whole long string of actions, however. He couldn't make his brain stop the process to just TELL ME! I took him to Mcs. He worked so hard I felt I really couldn't deny him the fries. LOL. He was trying to communicate.

started preschool in an early childhood center at age 3.5. Prior to that we tried a private preschool which did not work well. Within a short time became a lot easier. He was communicating more and starting to get needs met with words. I still couldn't imagine ever having a conversation with him. was still in the early childhood ed program in the inclusive Kindergarten where he had started the preschool. He had made a lot of progress and was even able to participate in graduation. He wouldn't sing but he did bang his little music sticks together when everyone else did and he didn't run off or get upset. He made friends there.

In Kindergarten was still frustrated a lot at school. He called the bus driver "an old bat". She was kind of unpleasant even though she drove the special ed bus. One day when got off the bus and he'd used some bad language she said, "You let him TALK that way?!" I said, "Uh, no, but I wasn't with him to stop him." GRRR. I had people telling me I should spank him. I had lots of lovely advice. still had quite a few tantrums and could be a bit aggressive. But he was making steady progress and when he felt safe and was getting his needs met he could be a completely delightful kid. had a lot of obsessions at age 5. Letters, especially Z, signs, license plates, lines painted on the curb to indicate fire lanes. He had to walk from one end to the other or he'd have a tantrum. He threw tantrums if we didn't park at Sears because he liked the HUGE sign. I

always just parked at Sears. Sometimes dad would park near what he wanted to do and would go insane and dad would say, "What's wrong with him?" Dad doesn't get that other people might want to do something different. Anyway, I was NOT gonna fight that battle. It just seemed ridiculous.

's speech was kind of limited. He had a huge vocabulary but he seemed to have a hard time getting words out unless he was stimming. He is still very stimmy with words that are not meant to communicate anything. He likes to pretend video game battles calling out the different players names and their actions. " uses a water spell to defeat..." Something like that. He will put the names of his friends into the script. Sometimes he will actually provide dialogue and impersonate the person's voice and it's freaking SCARY. I'll be like, ", I know Rayleigh isn't here, are you doing that?!" Inevitably he is. I think it may be a way of expresses that he misses someone. He has always been a talented mimic. He would borrow whole lines of dialogue from comic strips or TV in order to communicate. It was like a functional echolalia. He still does that. I'll

ask him something and if the answer is complicated it's like he goes through a big file of whole sentences. If it's something he says often he's had a lot of practice. He has speech dyspraxia so he can't get his mouth to work as fast as his brain.

never could use an appropriate sound level with his voice. He's either too loud (when he's having a lot of fun) or too quiet (especially when he's extremely upset). It's really hard to help a kid who won't speak loud enough to tell me what he's upset about! He is MUCH better at this now but in Kindergarten he couldn't. Even as recent as 4th grade it was hard for him. Now in 7th he's suddenly able to be more calm during conflicts and one day last year he said, "I went upstairs and asked Rayleigh if I could play her computer and she wouldn't let me and I yelled at her and she hit me but I didn't hit her." I asked Rayleigh about it and sure enough, it was accurate. WOO HOO, this is a HUGE thing. He didn't lie about his role in it and didn't exaggerate his sister's role in it. Seriously, this is a huge relief.

has always been the type of asperger kid to act out rather than withdraw. This means there are seriously distressing consequences to school staff doing the WRONG things. I found this out when we were in Texas. Prior to Texas he was getting his needs met pretty well so I didn't have experience with his extreme reactions to people being punitive and negative and not understanding his limitations. In Texas they took away all his behavior supports and damn if he didn't go apeshit! Sorry for the language, but it's the best way to describe it. The staff at that school suffered for their lack of understanding and after several months I had this epiphany that was advocating for himself in the only way he knew how. I started to get very tough then because I was very clear on what they were doing wrong and what I was doing right and it gave me POWER. Wow, what a

feeling. I've already told the story about being moved to another, MUCH BETTER school within a couple of weeks of my amazing new understanding of 's behavior. I learned a lot from that terrible situation. Then when we moved here, I knew how to ask the right questions in INTERROGATING schools before we bought a house. The districts here are quite small and buying a house in a crappy district would not do because they didn't have more than one school where he could be sent at any given grade. There are 3 elementary schools here, there is one Intermediate School (5-6) one Middle School and one High School. So, I knew I had to actually GO to these schools before making a decision. I saw how things were run and I saw how they behaved toward new parents and kids and I got a really good feeling from them. They were open and let me wander around because it was summer and no kids were

there. They said, "Talk to anyone you meet!". Another school up here was much less open even though it was summer. They were very crowded and I just didn't get a good feeling somehow. So here we are in an amazing place I hope we never leave at least until the kids graduate!

I'm just rambling on and on. I hope I've covered everything. Let me know if I haven't!

is very asperger. He is obsessed with video games. He is socially awkward. He is kind of clumsy and has an odd gait with some strange postures at times. He makes sounds to hear himself. He used to flap his hands. He likes to scream when he's happy in this extremely high voice. I asked what he'd do when his voice changed and he said, "I'll make a different noise." blurts out inappropriate things in public either in response to people's private conversations (extremely sensitive hearing) or in asking questions about sex (he IS 12 afterall). When he asks he's not trying to be gross, he's just trying to get information and I can't help being amused. The LOOKS we get sometimes. Fortunately, this just makes me laugh even more. has a hard time getting words out unless he's stimming or singing. would rather play video games than anything else though

he does have a few other interests and it's not impossible to pull him from video games. has difficulty with handwriting/fine motor control. has some MAJOR sensory issues that we're finally going to address at Easter Seals as well as school. I can't wait to get this report. is undersensitive to stimuli. So he tries to touch people's hair or he spins or he hides under sofa cushions or he chews or he moves constantly to try to stimulate those sensory systems because they NEED stimulation. He has to spin a long time before his vestibular system registers ANY movement. He has some vision problems with tracking and convergence insufficiency. These were helped a great deal by vision therapy and glasses. He still doesn't always know where he is or what is in space or what is near him. He used to hide under his desk in first grade and I think it was because he felt safe. He

likes small spaces.

Okay, I thought I was done but I'm writing another novel. AGG. Need to make this kid finish homework.

Thanks for reading all this. I do enjoy sharing it, especially if it helps other people.

Miriam

Miriam Mim Mimmom

mimbanash@...

[Guest guest]

If anyone is struggling with knowing what to ask for, feel free to use ideas from what has. I figured it might help someone to get a sense of what a really good school is doing. It IS possible in public schools.

Miriam Mim Mimmom

mimbanash@...

[Guest guest]

Dont know if I have mentioned this but... I am SO jealous

( ) re: Excellent IEP meeting (accomodations)

If anyone is struggling with knowing what to ask for, feel free to use ideas from what has. I figured it might help someone to get a sense of what a really good school is doing. It IS possible in public schools.

Miriam Mim Mimmom

mimbanash

[Guest guest]

It makes me feel sick that other people can't get these services. It is what

these kids need and if they get needs met they can become an asset to a school.

This is what so many school admins fail to comprehend.

Miriam

>

> Dont know if I have mentioned this but... I am SO jealous

> ( ) re: Excellent IEP meeting (accomodations)

>

>

>

> If anyone is struggling with knowing what to ask for, feel free to use

ideas from what has. I figured it might help someone to get a sense of

what a really good school is doing. It IS possible in public schools.

>

>

> Miriam

> Mim

> Mimmom

> mimbanash@...

>

[Guest guest]

I live in Nashua and b/c they are a 'big' school district they think that they can handle all the services that each one of these kids needs.. and some they can but the kids like my own son they just cant. It stinks because he falls right in the middle of it all.. he is smart but has ld's so needs more time and visual cues, no behavior issues at all but he has anxiety that impacts his learning, his self-esteem and his entire world really then there is the Aspie in him that is just so lost in the whole social environment that he is forced to survive in on a daily basis. I dont know what is worse living in a big district that honestly cant accomodate a child like my son or living in a small district where everyone tells me that he 'wont get the services he needs b/c they are so small'. I am just beyond frustrated and annoyed with school in general! Is it NH or is it everywhere?

( ) re: Excellent IEP meeting (accomodations)> > > > If anyone is struggling with knowing what to ask for, feel free to use ideas from what has. I figured it might help someone to get a sense of what a really good school is doing. It IS possible in public schools.> > > Miriam > Mim > Mimmom> mimbanash@...>

[Guest guest]

There is still no excuse...no excuse at all...Big District, Small District or Medium....your son still derserved what is due him...a fair and approproiate Education.

Our school district is so large that they split it into 2..east and west. Two high schools, 2 jr.hs., 2 intermediated schools and at least 8 elementary schools. Our high schools have about 3 or 400 in each ...so that is a total of 800 seniors. But that doesn't matter...a child with LD and with an IEP has A LoT of Rights...more than the school will tell you. Learn the laws and read 's Law....it is on the internet.

jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: a Ayotte <phrayotte@...> Sent: Sun, November 29, 2009 12:36:33 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: Excellent IEP meeting (accomodations)

I live in Nashua and b/c they are a 'big' school district they think that they can handle all the services that each one of these kids needs.. and some they can but the kids like my own son they just cant. It stinks because he falls right in the middle of it all.. he is smart but has ld's so needs more time and visual cues, no behavior issues at all but he has anxiety that impacts his learning, his self-esteem and his entire world really then there is the Aspie in him that is just so lost in the whole social environment that he is forced to survive in on a daily basis. I dont know what is worse living in a big district that honestly cant accomodate a child like my son or living in a small district where everyone tells me that he 'wont get the services he needs b/c they are so small'. I am just beyond frustrated and annoyed with school in general! Is it NH or is it everywhere?

( ) re: Excellent IEP meeting (accomodations)> > > > If anyone is

struggling with knowing what to ask for, feel free to use ideas from what has. I figured it might help someone to get a sense of what a really good school is doing. It IS possible in public schools.> > > Miriam > Mim > Mimmom> mimbanash@.. .>

[Guest guest]

, There is a center in Exeter, it's called COOL ~ Center of Optimum Learning.... its a day school and has tutoring services. If they can't help you directly, they may be able to advocate for you and give you recommendations for other resources and contacts.

From: a Ayotte <phrayotte@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Excellent IEP meeting (accomodations) Date: Sunday, November 29, 2009, 11:36 AM

I live in Nashua and b/c they are a 'big' school district they think that they can handle all the services that each one of these kids needs.. and some they can but the kids like my own son they just cant. It stinks because he falls right in the middle of it all.. he is smart but has ld's so needs more time and visual cues, no behavior issues at all but he has anxiety that impacts his learning, his self-esteem and his entire world really then there is the Aspie in him that is just so lost in the whole social environment that he is forced to survive in on a daily basis. I dont know what is worse living in a big district that honestly cant accomodate a child like my son or living in a small district where everyone tells me that he 'wont get the services he needs b/c they are so small'. I am just beyond frustrated and annoyed with school in general! Is it NH or is it everywhere?

( ) re: Excellent IEP

meeting (accomodations)> > > > If anyone is struggling with knowing what to ask for, feel free to use ideas from what has. I figured it might help someone to get a sense of what a really good school is doing. It IS possible in public schools.> > > Miriam > Mim > Mimmom> mimbanash@.. .>

[Guest guest]

Exeter PA?/????

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: Kate Stone <katesdishes@...> Sent: Mon, November 30, 2009 8:45:06 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: Excellent IEP meeting (accomodations)

, There is a center in Exeter, it's called COOL ~ Center of Optimum Learning.... its a day school and has tutoring services. If they can't help you directly, they may be able to advocate for you and give you recommendations for other resources and contacts.

From: a Ayotte <phrayottecomcast (DOT) net>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Excellent IEP meeting (accomodations) Date: Sunday, November 29, 2009, 11:36 AM

I live in Nashua and b/c they are a 'big' school district they think that they can handle all the services that each one of these kids needs.. and some they can but the kids like my own son they just cant. It stinks because he falls right in the middle of it all.. he is smart but has ld's so needs more time and visual cues, no behavior issues at all but he has anxiety that impacts his learning, his self-esteem and his entire world really then there is the Aspie in him that is just so lost in the whole social environment that he is forced to survive in on a daily basis. I dont know what is worse living in a big district that honestly cant accomodate a child like my son or living in a small district where everyone tells me that he 'wont get the services he needs b/c they are so small'. I am just beyond frustrated and annoyed with school in general! Is it NH or is it everywhere?

( ) re: Excellent IEP meeting (accomodations)> > > > If anyone is struggling with knowing what to

ask for, feel free to use ideas from what has. I figured it might help someone to get a sense of what a really good school is doing. It IS possible in public schools.> > > Miriam > Mim > Mimmom> mimbanash@.. .>

[Guest guest]

New Hampshire

From: a Ayotte <phrayottecomcast (DOT) net>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Excellent IEP meeting (accomodations) Date: Sunday, November 29, 2009, 11:36 AM

I live in Nashua and b/c they are a 'big' school district they think that they can handle all the services that each one of these kids needs.. and some they can but the kids like my own son they just cant. It stinks because he falls right in the middle of it all.. he is smart but has ld's so needs more time and visual cues, no behavior issues at all but he has anxiety that impacts his learning, his self-esteem and his entire world really then there is the Aspie in him that is just so lost in the whole social environment that he is forced to survive in on a daily basis. I dont know what is worse living in a big district that honestly cant accomodate a child like my son or living in a small district where everyone tells me that he 'wont get the services he needs b/c they are so small'. I am just beyond frustrated and annoyed with school in general! Is it NH or is it everywhere?

( ) re: Excellent IEP meeting (accomodations)> > > > If anyone is struggling with knowing what to

ask for, feel free to use ideas from what has. I figured it might help someone to get a sense of what a really good school is doing. It IS possible in public schools.> > > Miriam > Mim > Mimmom> mimbanash@.. .>