Re: SSI application, still need help!

[Guest guest]

Sue:

I realize that the lawyer you contacted disappointed you, but, I bet that if you

call another lawyer's office and tell them what happened to you with the first

one, it will help matters A LOT. I speak from experience, by the way. The first

lawyer we used with my mom let things fall through the cracks, so the second

lawyer (same firm) did all of the work for free!

I'd really recommend using a lawyer, if you can. This is sometimes a one-shot

deal, and, despite all of the work you are doing, if he gets denied, you will

have to go through the whole appeals process, with no guarantees of a " Yes. "

It sounds like you are so used to having to do everything for him yourself...

This is a step in helping him get help from someone/some place else, and it may

frighten you to have to count on someone else (especially after your first

experience), but this may be something that is beneficial to both your son AND

you, in that you get to let others pitch in to get him what he needs.

I'll be sending positive thoughts and prayers your way!

Gladys

> >

> > Hi Sue,

> >

> > Please don't beat yourself up too badly... I have 5 kids. Three are adults

and then a teen

> > with NVLD/TS and Maeci my aspie ! I feel as though I enabled my sons.

They are now out on their own and doing okay. My adult daughter is in college

and is soaring.

> > They all had the same upbringing so.... I just came to the conclusion it

takes boys longer to mature and grow up. I feel your pain!

> >

> > I did go to the DHS and show them Maeci's dx . Maeci is considered

clinically disabled and will be eligible for Medicaid or what is called TEFRA.

Our insurance co who we had for 12 years and never missed a premium dropped us

upon renewal this January. I am paying out of pocket for both their medical

care . I applied for Medicaid in Feb.

> > for both of them . Their case is still pending b/c they are so backed up at

the state office.

> > I will go back to the attorney I spoke with . It will be cheaper then paying

some of their doctors visits especially the cardiologist !

> >

> > I feel you should hire an attorney to get SSI or SS disability for your

son.

> > A SS attorney will know what options are out there and available for your

son.

> > A good attorney works on a contingency bases and some get back pay as well.

> > I don't know what area of TN you live in but, I grew up in Gatlinburg. I

could recommend

> > a good attorney in that area for you.

> > I currently live in NW AR and have lived here for the past 17 years.

> > I hope this helps... Here is a big hug !

> > Elinor

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: Sue Lowery <sue@>

> >

> > Sent: Thu, April 29, 2010 9:18:37 AM

> > Subject: RE: ( ) SSI application, can someone please, please

help me be as negative as possible

> >

> >

> > Thanks Elinor. I ended up putting off my phone

> > interview with SS to May because I wanted to get more information. Yesterday

I

> > spoke with someone who is not attorney, but her company works with people to

> > get ss disability. She was pretty discouraging about son’s chances, it

> > was the same “he falls through the cracks story.â€

> >

> > I spent the weekend pulling out every

> > psychological, school evaluation, and therapist he had seen since age 4 and

> > writing down all names, dates, results, etc. to prepare for the interview.

> >

> > Seeing all of these tests was a constant repetition

> > of performance levels so low, so far below peers. It was also a shocking

slap

> > to see how little services he got to work on these results. And a shock to

see

> > all the cancelled checks written for therapies that insurance didn’t

> > cover. My natural inclination is to be an optimist, but I realize for this

SS application

> > I need to be something else…I am just having a hard time doing it!

> >

> > I was proud of the fact that son was

> > riding bike to bus stop so he could go to work. Well, first of all the fact

he

> > has a job, even though only 16 hours, bad thing. That he can ride a bike,

bad

> > thing, that he can read a bus schedule, very bad. And on and on. I feel like

> > somebody ripped the blinders off of my eyes this past few days and the

picture

> > is really ugly. I don’t know what I am going to do about him.

> >

> > All of his life, I think I have been

> > making excuses for him. Telling myself that schoolwork is so hard for him,

so I’ll

> > work with him on this subject or that aspect and eventually as he matures,

he’ll

> > get it or he’ll try harder and do it on his own.

> > I’ll make up this game or try this

> > method. And so, well, he would have been better off in the long run if I had

> > taken a hand’s off policy. The reason he falls thru the cracks is ME, it

> > is not based on what he can do or cannot do.

> >

> > And over the past months every dream that

> > I have had for him, every hope, every expectation has been shattered one by

> > one. The hope he would be able to drive? Well, he crashed his car for the

last

> > time last month, so that’s out. The hope he would be able to live

independently?

> > Well, I need to convince SS that he CAN’T and will never be able to and

> > he most likely won’t How can he, $500 a month pay, what a joke.

> >

> > The schools Adaptive Behavior Scale showed

> > he was lower than 98% of his peers, pretty much “1s†out of “10sâ€,

> > where was I when I saw this? Well, the home evaluation had a totally

different

> > score, imagine that, apparently I was still wearing those rose-colored

glasses!

> > The hope he would find a good job, a living wage, insurance? He works

sometime sixteen

> > hours a week, no insurance, barely minimum wage. I have been a rose-colored

glasses

> > wearing fool! I should have just left him to his own to make it or not,

instead

> > of pushing, helping and doing for him. Then I would not be facing the

prospect

> > of continuing this for the rest of my life. He would have care somewhere,

after

> > I am dead, someone would be there to look after him. Right now, there will

not

> > be. Sorry for the rant…it has been the most difficult of months. I knew

> > the SS thing would be hard to get, now looks like impossible. It really is

like

> > grieving over and over and over again, there is no end to it. When you think

> > you are done, you are accepting, BAM, some new thing hits you and you start

> > grieving for the child you didn’t have all over again. Twenty five years

of

> > this with no closure, and no closure in sight, is a long time.

> >

> > Sue in TN

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> >

> > From: [mailto:AspergersSu pport@group

s.com] On Behalf Of Elinor Mullin

> > Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2010

> > 6:54 PM

> >

> > Subject: Re: ( )

> > SSI application, can someone please, please help me be as negative as

possible

> >

> >

> > Hi Sue,

> > I will share with you my story with SSI . This is for

> > my 17 y.o. daughter who has

> > 's Syndrome and NVLD . TS has many health issues

> > with it. She see 7 different

> > specialist ...several times through out the year.

> > First I applied on line and got a conference call and was

> > denied. I went to see a

> > SS attorney. The first initial visit is free. He

> > recommended I go down to the SS office physically and wait to see an agent

> > so, I did. He told me that there are

> > only certain months that the SS will approve

> > applicants. Each agent is only allowed to approve X amount of applicants

> > per year. May is a good month to apply. I go to the SS office and

> > wait in line. The agent sent me to the DHS office to apply for

> > Medicaid this was in Feb. I have not heard anything to

> > date. One month before her 18th b-day (3rd time)

> > I go with her to the SS office and reapply for SSI.

> > One positive is her name is in the

> > system ! As far as my daughter who is 11 and

> > just got a dx of AS plus more.

> > I plan to apply for Medicaid for her as well.

> > You must take the dx and all medical/therapy records that you have

> > with you plus have all doctors names on hand. This

> > will make the app go quicker. If my 11 y.o is denied for Medicaid .

> > I will go back and hire the SS attorney to push it

> > through. I thought with Obama's Health Care Reform no child /

> > adult was to be denied Relief. I hope this helps

> > ! Best of luck to you! I grew up in TN ! : )

> > Elinor mom to Maeci 11 who's confirmed dx is AS, dysgraphia,

> > depressive disorder , enuresis nocturnal and desommia nos.

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> >

> > From:Mimi

> > <suelowerydesign (DOT) com>

> >

> > Sent: Wed, April 28, 2010 4:07:18

> > PM

> > Subject: ( ) SSI

> > application, can someone please, please help me be as negative as possible

> >

> >

> > We are trying to get SSI for son, 25 years old, who is

> > the poster child for falls through the cracks. On IQ test, verbal in the

90s,

> > performance in the 50s. I have been panicked at what to tell them to apply

for

> > SSI, spoke with someone today (a person who helps get ssi, doesn't work for

> > them) who says to " stick to the facts " and tell them all things he

> > can't do. As an eternal optimist, that is SO hard to do.

> >

> > Even though all my other dreams and fantasies for him have been dashed to

the

> > ground, I still hold out hope that one day, he could live on his own. She

says

> > I have to, however, convince them he CANNOT. She advised I should tell them

> > stuff like how we have to constantly remind him to shower, shave. And then I

> > don't know what to say! The fact that he can ride a bike makes him much less

> > likely to get it, LOL. I thought I was Alice in Wonderland when she said

that,

> > the fact that he has to ride a bike to catch a bus because he can't

drive...not

> > a plus. If he can ride a bus, that's another point in the " no "

> > column!

> >

> > So please, anyone that has gone through this...any supported living

arrangement

> > we are looking at he would HAVE to have SSI for it to be affordable. He only

> > makes $500/month, oh yeah, another " no " point that he has part time

> > job.

> >

> > If we charge him rent, that's a plus! yes, I AM in Wonderland!

> >

> > Sue in TN

> >

>