Bus issue

[Guest guest]

So I completely lost my mind with the school yesterday. My 6 yr. old 1st grader

apparently told a kindergartner on the bus the other day that he was going to

" hold her down " or " push her down " or something like that. She told her mom who

called the school and the bus company, and she also told her teacher who told my

son's teacher.

So when dismissal came along yesterday, his teacher put him on the bus and

assigned a seat to him. He has never had an assigned seat and flipped out and

had a total meltdown. The teacher called me and told me that she discussed it

with the principal and she told her that if the assigned seat doesn't work out,

I would have to pick him up from school. THAT was when I lost my mind.

Here's the background, he has an older sister that was on the bus with him last

year and always helped him if he had issues - she helped him avoid all problems

on the bus. I TOLD the school during our PPT about a month before school - this

WILL be a problem, and I would like for you to put something in place for him

NOW (end of the year last year) that will be his plan for the bus when school

starts - I suggested either a bus buddy or an assigned seat. I knew he probably

wouldn't like it, but I could discuss it with him and prepare him for it. The

school agreed.

So day 1, no plan in place - not sure what the school was thinking or planning,

but I figured, well, they must have something in mind. Nope, wrong, nothing -

so when my child DOES have an issue on the bus, I'm the one to suffer. I went

nuts on the teacher, then calmed down - it's not her fault. But 3 minutes after

I hung up with her, the school psychologist called - THAT's the one I went crazy

on - she was the one that said we would have a plan in place. So she said " we

have not put something in place, but he is not happy " Of course he's not happy,

he was in the middle of a melt down and you imposed your will on him - wrong

move.

I reminded her that IF they had put this in place like they were supposed to, we

would not have had an issue and this is just one step forward, two steps back

and it will likely take some recovery time before we get back to a good point.

Of course I played this up a bit with how this will probably disrupt his

learning for a few days and how 1st grade is so important as that's when the

learn to read, etc. and it would be in the school's best interest to provide him

with all the supports he needs so that he can succeed. If he succeeds, he moves

on, if he doesn't it's another year that the school system has to have him in

their charge.

O.K. - so I overreacted a bit, but I made my point and he's not getting picked

up by me. And I wouldn't let them put him on the special needs but either.

Then I told the school - oh yes, by the way, I have a new report from Yale

Child Study center which I will forward to you and I would like to schedule a

PPT for as soon as possible - it will be before the end of September. They have

a few suggestions that I would like put in place.

O.K. - if any of you are still reading, can I get some opinions on this piece

please? Yale is recommending he have 1-1 support on a full time basis in

school. So far the school has not pushed back on too much, they have not given

us everything we have asked, but have always made several accommodations for him

(with the exception of this bus issue). He does have 2 paraprofessionals that

rotate in the classroom, one in the morning, one in the afternoon, BUT they are

assigned to the classroom and not to him - they are there to help ALL of the

children that need assistance in the classroom. I have always liked the idea

that the help was there if he needed it, but wasn't focused JUST on him. I

didn't want him singled out by the other kids.

So my question is, would you push for the 1-1 full time (as suggested by Yale)

or let this ride the way it is? Am I just overreacting because I'm so upset

over the bus incident? He's a bright boy, but needs the assistance with focus

and organization. He can have meltdowns easily, BUT can be redirected with much

assistance. If the aide is right there on him, it doesn't get too bad, but if

left to his own, he can't come out of these meltdowns for a while.

Sorry for the long rambling post.

TIA

Janna