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I am down..........my son is 21 and has made strides. He's a volunteer at the

library one afternoon a week. He has a provider that takes him out about one

day a week. But, I'm sick of the pit room. I'm sick of not wanting to shower

or brush teeth or shave. I'm not working right now so I'm home all day, every

day. He sometimes needs my constant attention, I have to watch every video he

makes, every video he thinks is funny, every movie he wants to watch. I keep

having thoughts of how it would be if he were typical. He would probably be

graduated from college..........he might be working some great computer

job....he might be out on his own.......then I feel terrible for having these

thoughts. I feel spent.........

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Hi there,

I really have nothing to say that would probably help you seeing that my oldest is only 14......but, I just wanted to say that you sound like a wonderful mom....who is having a rough day........and needs a break.

Forgive me for asking the following questions, but are there any "living skills" programs through Social Services? Or through your states' Autism Society?

Like I said, my oldest is only 14, so he is still "contained" in high school. But, I worry about the things you've mentioned about your own son.

One question - could you say to him, "These things need to be done every morning if you are going to stay here. You are an adult and you have to do certain things."

Then, list or even put up a checklist for him....listing showering, deoderant, brush hair, brush teeth, put dirty clothes in hamper, get dressed.

Hugs to you.

From: sara11alex77 <sara61145@...>Subject: ( ) In the dumps Date: Friday, January 28, 2011, 8:24 AM

I am down..........my son is 21 and has made strides. He's a volunteer at the library one afternoon a week. He has a provider that takes him out about one day a week. But, I'm sick of the pit room. I'm sick of not wanting to shower or brush teeth or shave. I'm not working right now so I'm home all day, every day. He sometimes needs my constant attention, I have to watch every video he makes, every video he thinks is funny, every movie he wants to watch. I keep having thoughts of how it would be if he were typical. He would probably be graduated from college..........he might be working some great computer job....he might be out on his own.......then I feel terrible for having these thoughts. I feel spent.........

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I can so sympathize with you and feeling so down! I work at home so was with

son, 26, 24/7. Since he only has ONE friend (thank goodness for that friend tho)

he is here all the time.

Would your son be interested in any job programs thru something like Voc Rehab?

In addition to those " how he WOULD have been " thoughts, I am having the " I think

we have peaked " ones. That this is sort of it for maturity and level of thinking

and it is not really going to get a lot better.

sue in TN

>

> I am down..........my son is 21 and has made strides. He's a volunteer at the

library one afternoon a week. He has a provider that takes him out about one

day a week. But, I'm sick of the pit room. I'm sick of not wanting to shower

or brush teeth or shave. I'm not working right now so I'm home all day, every

day. He sometimes needs my constant attention, I have to watch every video he

makes, every video he thinks is funny, every movie he wants to watch. I keep

having thoughts of how it would be if he were typical. He would probably be

graduated from college..........he might be working some great computer

job....he might be out on his own.......then I feel terrible for having these

thoughts. I feel spent.........

>

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OMG.  This is how it is now at 15.  It is still going to be like this at 21!!!!??????   I don't think I can take that it that long.  " Hey Mom!!!  Look at this!!! "    :)

>

> I am down..........my son is 21 and has made strides. He's a volunteer at the library one afternoon a week. He has a provider that takes him out about one day a week. But, I'm sick of the pit room. I'm sick of not wanting to shower or brush teeth or shave. I'm not working right now so I'm home all day, every day. He sometimes needs my constant attention, I have to watch every video he makes, every video he thinks is funny, every movie he wants to watch. I keep having thoughts of how it would be if he were typical. He would probably be graduated from college..........he might be working some great computer job....he might be out on his own.......then I feel terrible for having these thoughts. I feel spent.........

>

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He he. I used to laugh when Ian, at 12, said that all he wanted to do iin life was be the best at Video/online games, work at Taco Bell and live in our basement (so we wouldn't miss him).

Now, at 14, I kind of giggle and sigh......and say jokingly, "Not a chance, buddy". Sigh.................as he gets older, having him ask me to, like Debra wrote, "Hey mom, Look at this"......with his games.....37 times a night,,,,welll,,,,,,,,,isn't so funny.

Robin

......A rich man is not one who has the most,

but who needs the least.....

From: Debra Balke <dlbalke@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: In the dumps Date: Friday, January 28, 2011, 1:56 PM

OMG. This is how it is now at 15. It is still going to be like this at 21!!!!?????? I don't think I can take that it that long. "Hey Mom!!! Look at this!!!" :)>> I am down..........my son is 21 and has made strides. He's a volunteer at the library one afternoon a week. He has a provider that takes him out about one day a week. But, I'm sick of the pit room. I'm sick of not wanting to shower or brush teeth or shave. I'm not working right now so I'm home all day, every day. He sometimes needs my constant attention, I have to watch every video he makes, every video he thinks is funny, every movie he wants to watch. I keep having thoughts

of how it would be if he were typical. He would probably be graduated from college..........he might be working some great computer job....he might be out on his own.......then I feel terrible for having these thoughts. I feel spent.........>

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