Re:messy child - what to do?

July 10, 2010

Oh.....I don't have any advice, but have to agree with Sue that it's just more work raising a kid with AS.

I remember when my son was younger. When he was into Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon cards and had Leggo's......and collected a multitude of "little things", as well as shells and Hot Wheels.....sigh.

It was SOOOO hard to keep organized. Daily, I would sit with him and go through his cards. I remember HAVING to help him separate the different types of Pokemon cards, because he NEEDED them separated.....but would never KEEP them that way.

I bought containers............card-holders.....binders..........heck, I bought containers for everything he had. Thinking that if we could just be organized enough, it would calm him and help keep things off the floor or in his bed or.....whatever.

Nope.

I guess maybe in time, he got better a bit. But, it was a constant chore. He's now 14 and incredibly better. I attribute this to his age, though, and that his interests have changed to gaming and reading.

We still have to go through it once in a while and weed things out. But, at least there aren't thousands of cards laying around anymore.....or marbles or shells, etc. Just so you know, he still has all these things. They are in boxes on his shelf....NOT being taken out. He he.

Good luck. In our case, it got better.

Attack and enjoy every minute of life.

Try everything.....protect everything.

Robin

From: Comtois <suetois@...>Subject: ( ) Re:messy child - what to do? Date: Saturday, July 10, 2010, 6:31 AM

I think cleaning can be overwhelming for a kid with an ASD. My oldest son can't even find things. I remember once he couldn't find his shoes--which were sitting in the middle of the carpet in a clean room (which he was standing in). I think to him details all have the same level of importance, so no one thing stands out more than any other. I read somewhere that people with autism can be like that. (When he was younger, my son would draw each blade of grass and leaf on a tree, rather than just coloring the whole thing green. To him, the world is composed of individual blades of grass--not the overall experience of a lawn.) It must be like living in a world where you're constantly playing Where's Waldo.

I think one of the problems for kids with an ASD is that they often lack the executive function skills to break down a complicated task for themselves. They need to be taught a method, or they get overwhelmed and just melt down. They need to work on only one room at a time. One thing I do with my kids that might help with tidying your son's room is to teach them to start with the biggest stuff first. If their blanket is on the floor, that's the first thing we pick up. If the biggest thing is dirty clothes, then that's what I have them do first. It gives the impression of a lot of progress in a short amount of time. We have shoe box-sized bins for small stuffed toys, toy cars, etc. They pick up categories of things. ("Now find all the HotWheels." "Now find all the trains.") At the end, all the miscellaneous little stuff goes in the same bin. I often have to guide them through the

cleaning process like this. It takes time, but it results in much less resistance-- and eventually they learn the process.)

AFA the DVDs go, you might try making him "check them out of the library." You give him the DVD he wants, and to get another one, he has to bring the first one back to you.

All of this is really labor intensive for the parent, but then again IMO raising a child with autism is just more work than raising a typical kid.

Good luck.

Sue

My son doesn't know where to start when tidying up. He is chronically disorganised (is this a feature of ADHD more than AS?). He needs a lot of direction to tidy his room, otherwise melts down at the thought of it.

July 10, 2010

Our son's room/bathroom is always a disaster. Something that worked (at least a

couple of times) was to take some painter's tape and tape off an area, like his

nightstand/bookcase. It was an area about 5 x 5 feet. I put on his daily to-do

list we were going to " take care of zone 1 " and he was very curious about what

" zone 1 " was. So he first had to take care of and only clean up the stuff in

that one zone. And then I taped off another area and that went on the next day

" zone 2 " . And it worked! He too is extremely disorganized. Stuff is always on

the floor and he is very overwhelmed if we say " clean up your room. " The " fun "

may wear off, but at least he has way to organize the areas of his room. Don't

be discouraged, but he is 26!

Sue in TN

> >

> > I think cleaning can be overwhelming for a kid with an ASD. My oldest son

can't even find things. I remember once he couldn't find his shoes--which were

sitting in the middle of the carpet in a clean room (which he was standing in).

I think to him details all have the same level of importance, so no one thing

stands out more than any other. I read somewhere that people with autism can be

like that. (When he was younger, my son would draw each blade of grass and leaf

on a tree, rather than just coloring the whole thing green. To him, the world

is composed of individual blades of grass--not the overall experience of a

lawn.) It must be like living in a world where you're constantly playing

Where's Waldo.

> >

> > I think one of the problems for kids with an ASD is that they often lack the

executive function skills to break down a complicated task for themselves. They

need to be taught a method, or they get overwhelmed and just melt down. They

need to work on only one room at a time. One thing I do with my kids that might

help with tidying your son's room is to teach them to start with the biggest

stuff first. If their blanket is on the floor, that's the first thing we pick

up. If the biggest thing is dirty clothes, then that's what I have them do

first. It gives the impression of a lot of progress in a short amount of time.

We have shoe box-sized bins for small stuffed toys, toy cars, etc. They pick up

categories of things. ( " Now find all the HotWheels. " " Now find all the

trains. " ) At the end, all the miscellaneous little stuff goes in the same bin.

I often have to guide them through the cleaning process like this. It takes

time, but it results in much less resistance--and eventually they learn the

process.)

> >

> > AFA the DVDs go, you might try making him " check them out of the library. "

You give him the DVD he wants, and to get another one, he has to bring the first

one back to you.

> >

> > All of this is really labor intensive for the parent, but then again IMO

raising a child with autism is just more work than raising a typical kid.

> >

> > Good luck.

> >

> > Sue

> >

> > > My son doesn't know where to start when tidying up. He is chronically

disorganised (is this a feature of ADHD more than AS?). He needs a lot of

direction to tidy his room, otherwise melts down at the thought of it.

> >

>

July 10, 2010

ha ha ha - so he may never learn! Mind you, both of his parents aren't

naturally organised/tidy. I just learnt to thru working in a lab and also with

my very meticulous father training me.

When my hubby vents about our boy's stuff everywhere, I say, well why not set an

example by putting your stuff away too - but really I'm not great either - it's

just that we have different stuff lying around. I just need to be able to

vacuum etc under it all. Once thing I do is just pick it all up and dump it in

his room so I can find the floor in the rest of the house. I'm not asking for

immaculate or super-organised - just hoping he can find things for himself and

put away what he gets out, because it makes work for me (and I hate housework).

What frustrates me is that he doesn't look after his things (but then neither

does his father really)

Miranda

> > >

> > > I think cleaning can be overwhelming for a kid with an ASD. My oldest son