Re: Anyone with a child with this profile?

Posted February 5, 2011 · February 5, 2011

I know you're talking to Sue, but wanted to chime in.

Our son was really "into" everything, too, when younger. Loved to be around other kids and do things. Then,,,,,he'd either go to far and be jumping on them or touching them or "getting in their space".......or whatever. Nothing was intentional. He just didn't get it. But,,,,he didn't know it.

For us,,,,,,,,,,over the years, he got that he didn't "get it". Then, the anger and frustration set in. That was horrible for us.

He started seeing that he was different in like, 4th grade. It got really bad and 5th was the worst. The teachers spoke of possibly putting him "in patient" to have him totally evaluated.

We didn't' do it,,,,,,instead pulled him out and took him off his ADHD meds. He improved by getting him out of the Socially Sucky Situation.

This worked....for him....and us.

I'm not saying that it will be this way for you, but, yes, as he aged, he saw his limitations much "better". Of course, there was a time (and still is at times) when if he heard someone talking about rollerblading, he'd chime in about how he was also a rollerblader even though he'd only SEEN it done, like once. he he.

SO,,,,,in that way, he didn't' "see" his limitations or "disability". Ugh.Also,,,,,,,he likes being alone. Sounds horrible to say it. And I feel like I SHOULDN'T"T say it.....like I'm not doing my PART in SOCIALIZING him.......but it's true. There is a kid who calls him to ask questions about an on line game.......and Ian is really cool with him but canNOT wait to get off the phone. he he.

Hugs to you.

Robin

......A rich man is not one who has the most,

but who needs the least.....

From: rumbai_rankin <rumbai_rankin@...>Subject: ( ) Anyone with a child with this profile? Date: Saturday, February 5, 2011, 7:30 PM

Hi, Sue from Sumatra here again. Thanks for the input on balancing pursuing gifts and correcting defecits.Our son had very high scores on the SRS test, but tested within normal range on the social motivation element. This attribute of his makes him very challenging. He is just as motivated socially as his NT peers, so he will tend not to shy away from challenging situations - instead he tries to participate fully and fails miserably, with a strong physical reaction in the middle of the activity. As a result, we cannot take him to any unstructured social situations unless a parent or adult is one-on-one with him the entire time. It would be so much easier if he were more of a loner - I would so prefer it if we could bring something along for him to sit and do alone. He is 6 now. Will he come to better understand his limitations and start to shy away from such situations?

Posted February 6, 2011 · February 6, 2011

Thanks, Robin. Sounds so much like my son. Hmmm, so maybe we are in a decent

place right now with him loving school and thinking his peers enjoy him, naive

to the fact that they do not and unaware that it is not normal to be spending so

much time in the principal's office...

I have read that middle school is to be feared. I hope we are able to get him

into a good gifted school when we return to the US, before he hits 4th grade. I

am starting to look into this now, knowing these schools can have long wait

lists.

Thanks everyone & push on -

- Sue

>

> From: rumbai_rankin <rumbai_rankin@...>

> Subject: ( ) Anyone with a child with this profile?

>

> Date: Saturday, February 5, 2011, 7:30 PM

>

> Â

>

> Hi, Sue from Sumatra here again. Thanks for the input on balancing pursuing

gifts and correcting defecits.

>

> Our son had very high scores on the SRS test, but tested within normal range

on the social motivation element. This attribute of his makes him very

challenging. He is just as motivated socially as his NT peers, so he will tend

not to shy away from challenging situations - instead he tries to participate

fully and fails miserably, with a strong physical reaction in the middle of the

activity. As a result, we cannot take him to any unstructured social situations

unless a parent or adult is one-on-one with him the entire time. It would be so

much easier if he were more of a loner - I would so prefer it if we could bring

something along for him to sit and do alone. He is 6 now. Will he come to better

understand his limitations and start to shy away from such situations?

>

Posted February 6, 2011 · February 6, 2011

I don't know if he will shy away ever. Maybe not. You could pick some of the issues he has while participating and work on them - teaching him a better or different way of handling whatever problem he has. Practice that skill, then cue him while he is in the moment, if necessary. He could then learn ways to better handle whatever he is struggling with socially.

I do think many of these kids do improve their skills when they get older but how much they improve is so unpredictable. Everyone matures as they get older but how much is again, unpredictable. Just work on teaching him the skills he is lacking so he can improve. And I think it does get better overall. My own ds (22 yo, hfa, dyslexia) was so difficult to deal with at age 6. He's improved a whole lot over the years but it came in small bursts and pieces and always a lot later than his peers. He was not an "outie" though! He was reserved and would avoid social contact. So now he does get out more and he responds appropriately most of the time. But he still tends to avoid social things, which are really hard for him. Still, every once in a while, he up and does something on his own that I would not have believed he could do. lol.

Roxanna

â€œOur lives begin to end the day we

become silent about things that matter.â€ - Luther King, Jr.

( ) Anyone with a child with this profile?

Hi, Sue from Sumatra here again. Thanks for the input on balancing pursuing gifts and correcting defecits.

Our son had very high scores on the SRS test, but tested within normal range on the social motivation element. This attribute of his makes him very challenging. He is just as motivated socially as his NT peers, so he will tend not to shy away from challenging situations - instead he tries to participate fully and fails miserably, with a strong physical reaction in the middle of the activity. As a result, we cannot take him to any unstructured social situations unless a parent or adult is one-on-one with him the entire time. It would be so much easier if he were more of a loner - I would so prefer it if we could bring something along for him to sit and do alone. He is 6 now. Will he come to better understand his limitations and start to shy away from such situations?

Posted February 6, 2011 · February 6, 2011

I think he will (with your help understanding that he does better

1:1). For our daughter she understood this better by age 9 or 10.

Pam