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[Guest guest]

Pam, Thanks so much. This is all so helpful, and I will definitely take a look at the websites you sent. I'm finding that I have to be really careful about even the 1:1 playdates my daughter has. Some kids just "get" her better than others, but there's really no way to tell ahead of time sometimes. So my daughter and I have these little "debriefing" talks after the friend leaves to see what went well, what didn't and so on. Groups are hard for her. She's done okay with girl scouts so far, but gets panicky when they are going to do something away from their regular meeting spot and time and I can't be there. I don't go to the meetings anymore, and she is hanging in there, but there are two of these off time, off site events coming up

that I can't go to because of work and school, so we'll see how it goes. I'm really trying to help her not make everything a catastrophe, which is SO HARD! She and my husband both think everything is the end of the world, and I spend so much energy helping each of them see what some other ways to look at things are. The biggest part for my daughter is to get her not to say her all or nothing things in front of her friends. I feel like if she has to say "I hate so and so" or "I'm never going to play with so and so again" then she at least needs to do it in private where her friends can't hear this because other kids don't understand that she is just scared and nervous and not understanding what has just happened. The good thing is that our next door neighbor is her favorite friend, and she has CP and some other physical issues that require LOTS of therapies and appointments, so I am able to relate that to my

daughter's appointments. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it makes her feel less weird that she and her friend both have to go see special people who can help them with things that are hard for them. I never know what is going to work day to day, and I really like your advice to leave kids wanting more of my daughter. I hadn't really thought of it that way. Thanks again for your ideas and support.