Guest guest Posted April 10, 2010 Report Share Posted April 10, 2010 Let me start off by saying that I am SO not looking forward to puberty, and this whole “sex†deal with an Aspie. So as most of you know, my son is 9.5yrs old. He’ll be 10 in August. The other day, he asked if he could walk down the street to the house of a girl from his class. I totally enjoy this girl, she’s very sweet and very patient with , always helping, etc. I also very much like her mom, who will advise to call me if he’s upset at her house (as often a phone call to Mom can difuse a situation rather quickly!!). So I thought nothing of it. Knowing what I know now, I should’ve asked a bit more about the situation. I *didn’t* know that there would be another girl from their class with them. Honestly, that is NEVER a good dynamic. I don’t think this other girl is very understanding or patient with (despite being told about his Asperger’s at school, you know how kids are). AND the dynamic of the three of them is never a good thing. Inevitably, gets left out. It’s happened lots before, and thankfully, it was usually at this other girls house (who lives about 3 houses away from us, so he’d just come home). Anyway… he phoned all upset, saying that they didn’t want to play with him anymore, and he wanted me to come get him. I told him that it was a beautiful day, and he should just come home… but that the walk would be nice… help him cool off. He complained, but walked home. And I was right, he was in a better mood when he got here. So after a while, I asked for some more info about what happened… Apparently, the three of them were down at the beach (which I knew they were going to, and was ok with that). They were having fun, looking for neat rocks, etc., when one of them decided it’d be a good idea to play “Truth or Dare†(UGH!). So I guess this “nice†girl, said dare, and dared her to kiss him. She got upset (like you would), and the girls said they were going to look for rocks again. got upset, and wanted to come home. Oy vey… he’s 9.5yrs old. I don’t even know how to APPROACH this one. So really hoping for some guidance from someone who’s “been there, done that†!!! Thanks in advance… this growing up with Asperger’s thing is scaring me already lol =) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 2010 Report Share Posted April 10, 2010 I sure do understand what you are dealing with, my dilemma is just the other way as I am the mother of a 9.5 yr old girl. I have been working with the counselor at school, as well as her ST and we all have been working on social stories on how to approach the game 'truth or dare' 'doctor' etc. We have been pretty sucessful with her knowing personal boundaries. We have her imagine a hula hoop around her and everyone she is near, and that no one can enter your hula hoop with out permission. So far it has been working. From: O'Brien <nicole.obrien@...>Subject: ( ) Ohhh dear... Date: Sunday, April 11, 2010, 12:30 AM Let me start off by saying that I am SO not looking forward to puberty, and this whole “sex†deal with an Aspie. So as most of you know, my son is 9.5yrs old. He’ll be 10 in August. The other day, he asked if he could walk down the street to the house of a girl from his class. I totally enjoy this girl, she’s very sweet and very patient with , always helping, etc. I also very much like her mom, who will advise to call me if he’s upset at her house (as often a phone call to Mom can difuse a situation rather quickly!!). So I thought nothing of it. Knowing what I know now, I should’ve asked a bit more about the situation. I *didn’t* know that there would be another girl from their class with them. Honestly, that is NEVER a good dynamic. I don’t think this other girl is very understanding or patient with (despite being told about his Asperger’s at school, you know how kids are). AND the dynamic of the three of them is never a good thing. Inevitably, gets left out. It’s happened lots before, and thankfully, it was usually at this other girls house (who lives about 3 houses away from us, so he’d just come home). Anyway… he phoned all upset, saying that they didn’t want to play with him anymore, and he wanted me to come get him. I told him that it was a beautiful day, and he should just come home… but that the walk would be nice… help him cool off. He complained, but walked home. And I was right, he was in a better mood when he got here. So after a while, I asked for some more info about what happened… Apparently, the three of them were down at the beach (which I knew they were going to, and was ok with that). They were having fun, looking for neat rocks, etc., when one of them decided it’d be a good idea to play “Truth or Dare†(UGH!). So I guess this “nice†girl, said dare, and dared her to kiss him. She got upset (like you would), and the girls said they were going to look for rocks again. got upset, and wanted to come home. Oy vey… he’s 9.5yrs old. I don’t even know how to APPROACH this one. So really hoping for some guidance from someone who’s “been there, done that†!!! Thanks in advance… this growing up with Asperger’s thing is scaring me already lol =) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2010 Report Share Posted April 11, 2010 First take a deep breath and don't panic. I have a 13 yo. He kisses his girlfriend OMG and she kisses him OMG and I tell them to stop because it's kind of rude and not really appropriate. The girl did this to when they were both 9 and she thought it was great because it's what she saw bigger people do, but didn't care for it so he just pulled away. I told them that it wasn't appropriate for 4th graders to kiss and that other kids might tease them and that worked great. It's like any other slightly inappropriate behavior. The little girl did a great job of letting him know it wasn't appropriate and that may be all he'll need. Make sure she isn't so upset she doesn't want to be friends any more and remind him when he visits her that kissing isn't appropriate. Get the book Taking Care of Myself by Wrobel and read it yourself before you get to the teen years. It's a book about hygiene and sex specifically for kids on the spectrum. There are plenty of parts you'll avoid until later but there are some great social stories in there that are fine for 9 year olds about appropriate and inappropriate behavior and stranger danger and even tooth brushing and taking a bath and using the bathroom. You can photocopy the parts that you want to work on with your son and keep the actual book somewhere safe until you need it. I use it with my 13yo. We've pretty much looked at everything in the book now. He has lots of questions and answering them appropriately at this age is extremely important because when they get tall and look like adults people will be a lot less forgiving. You have a few years to go, yet, though. DON'T PANIC. Miriam > > Let me start off by saying that I am SO not looking forward to puberty, and this whole “sex†deal with an Aspie. > > > > So as most of you know, my son is 9.5yrs old. He’ll be 10 in August. > > > > The other day, he asked if he could walk down the street to the house of a girl from his class. I totally enjoy this girl, she’s very sweet and very patient with , always helping, etc. I also very much like her mom, who will advise to call me if he’s upset at her house (as often a phone call to Mom can difuse a situation rather quickly!!). So I thought nothing of it. > > > > Knowing what I know now, I should’ve asked a bit more about the situation. I *didn’t* know that there would be another girl from their class with them. Honestly, that is NEVER a good dynamic. I don’t think this other girl is very understanding or patient with (despite being told about his Asperger’s at school, you know how kids are). AND the dynamic of the three of them is never a good thing. Inevitably, gets left out. It’s happened lots before, and thankfully, it was usually at this other girls house (who lives about 3 houses away from us, so he’d just come home). > > > > Anyway… he phoned all upset, saying that they didn’t want to play with him anymore, and he wanted me to come get him. I told him that it was a beautiful day, and he should just come home… but that the walk would be nice… help him cool off. He complained, but walked home. And I was right, he was in a better mood when he got here. > > > > So after a while, I asked for some more info about what happened… > > > > Apparently, the three of them were down at the beach (which I knew they were going to, and was ok with that). They were having fun, looking for neat rocks, etc., when one of them decided it’d be a good idea to play “Truth or Dare†(UGH!). > > > > So I guess this “nice†girl, said dare, and dared her to kiss him. She got upset (like you would), and the girls said they were going to look for rocks again. got upset, and wanted to come home. > > > > Oy vey… he’s 9.5yrs old. I don’t even know how to APPROACH this one. So really hoping for some guidance from someone who’s “been there, done that†!!! > > > > Thanks in advance… this growing up with Asperger’s thing is scaring me already lol > > > > =) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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