Re: Re: How would u address after school anxiety and shut-down?

[Guest guest]

A follow-up on the parent communication book in which the teacher responded to my questions about why my son missed p.e. and recess:

 

" He did an incredible job on the project and was thrilled to show his classmates.The problem happened when he was asked to make it a " finished " product by making arrows or title " eye-catching " He had a difficult time processing this request because he felt he was finished. I could tell he was a bit " mopey " about making a decision and hesitated when it was time to line up for P.E.  I gave him the option of " resting " in Ms. X room until he felt he could participate. He chose to rest in her room and joined the class when he was fully ready. We are fully confident that this was the appropriate choice for us to give to him. He arrived back in the classroom fully willing and ready to participate. Thanks! "

 

My son didn't do any, " resting. " He had been crying and then they let him play on the computer to get him out of their hair. I'm so ticked, anyone care to give input on how to reply to this pack of lies?

On Wed, Jun 9, 2010 at 11:46 AM, Pamela <susanonderko@...> wrote:

 

In his IEP I would try to get a behavior interventionplan added. I would tell them he is getting moreschool avoidant (if he isn't now he will be if this keeps up).If they won't add it to the IEP, you can still add

it to the IEP parental concerns section. Be specific thatyour concern is that the school is using negative reinforcement with your son an AS child and that he needs a more gradual and positive approach to behavior changes.

Public schools can be so difficult about changing their practices.They can't see the problems this is causing but you can. Youdon't have to prove he has school anxiety or avoidance. It is so common with kids with any kind of issues. And what you are

asking for is reasonable. Our daughter did develop school refusal after years of school punishments and anxiety associated with it. She had to be switched to a more supportive school. hope this helps,

Pam _______________________________________________________Problem areas: issues with cooperationStrategies: needs to have employed basic strategies for behavior change for kids with AS.

Gain cooperation through gradual exposure to things " " is not doing. Use positive reinforcement throughout the day. Praise " " when he does cooperate. Do not use negative reinforcement (scolding, loss of recess, PE etc) as it increases school anxiety and school avoidance.

__________________________________________________________Hope this helps,Pam

>> Looking to address this in the iep. My son often comes home from school (I pick him up) non-verbal or refusing to talk about his day. When I do get him to open up there's been an incident or issue that caused him a bad day. Yesterday, for instance, there was a classroom activity that the teacher asked the kids to color. My son was adamant that he didn't want to color (I can't remember if my son has ever colored. He doesn't enjoy it honestly) The teacher kept on him to color and when my son wouldn't my son said she continuted to tell him to do it. (imposing her will on an asperger's child is so inaffective)He broke down crying and they kept him out of P.E. and recess.

> > I had to find out through my son what happened as the school didn't tell me anything. Issues here of transparency.> > BUT, back to the idea of showing that my son is affected by his bad day's at school. At the last iep mtg, when I brought up how my son soemtimes doesn't talk hours after school, they said, " well, it's not affecting his performance at school. " I brought up that IDEA isn't only academic but they didn't want to hear it.

> > What would you do to address any of these issues? Thanks!>

[Guest guest]

I HATED THESE TYPES OF SCHOOL NOTES!!!!!!!!!!! AUGHHHH

That was my first thought when I read your email....

We homeschool. I gave up. It is so much easier to homeschool an autistic child than to teach/train a school district. And, it is a lot more rewarding to boot..... It took me a long time to get to that place though. I kept wanting them to do it!

Re: ( ) Re: How would u address after school anxiety and shut-down?

A follow-up on the parent communication book in which the teacher responded to my questions about why my son missed p.e. and recess:

"He did an incredible job on the project and was thrilled to show his classmates.The problem happened when he was asked to make it a "finished" product by making arrows or title "eye-catching" He had a difficult time processing this request because he felt he was finished. I could tell he was a bit "mopey" about making a decision and hesitated when it was time to line up for P.E. I gave him the option of "resting" in Ms. X room until he felt he could participate. He chose to rest in her room and joined the class when he was fully ready. We are fully confident that this was the appropriate choice for us to give to him. He arrived back in the classroom fully willing and ready to participate. Thanks!"

My son didn't do any, "resting." He had been crying and then they let him play on the computer to get him out of their hair. I'm so ticked, anyone care to give input on how to reply to this pack of lies?

On Wed, Jun 9, 2010 at 11:46 AM, Pamela <susanonderko > wrote:

In his IEP I would try to get a behavior interventionplan added. I would tell them he is getting moreschool avoidant (if he isn't now he will be if this keeps up).If they won't add it to the IEP, you can still addit to the IEP parental concerns section. Be specific thatyour concern is that the school is using negative reinforcement with your son an AS child and that he needs a more gradual and positive approach to behavior changes. Public schools can be so difficult about changing their practices.They can't see the problems this is causing but you can. Youdon't have to prove he has school anxiety or avoidance. It is so common with kids with any kind of issues. And what you areasking for is reasonable. Our daughter did develop school refusal after years of school punishments and anxiety associated with it. She had to be switched to a more supportive school. hope this helps,Pam _______________________________________________________Problem areas: issues with cooperationStrategies: needs to have employed basic strategies for behavior change for kids with AS.Gain cooperation through gradual exposure to things ""is not doing. Use positive reinforcement throughout the day. Praise ""when he does cooperate. Do not use negative reinforcement (scolding, loss of recess, PE etc) as it increases school anxiety and school avoidance.__________________________________________________________Hope this helps,Pam >> Looking to address this in the iep. My son often comes home from school (I pick him up) non-verbal or refusing to talk about his day. When I do get him to open up there's been an incident or issue that caused him a bad day. Yesterday, for instance, there was a classroom activity that the teacher asked the kids to color. My son was adamant that he didn't want to color (I can't remember if my son has ever colored. He doesn't enjoy it honestly) The teacher kept on him to color and when my son wouldn't my son said she continuted to tell him to do it. (imposing her will on an asperger's child is so inaffective)He broke down crying and they kept him out of P.E. and recess.> > I had to find out through my son what happened as the school didn't tell me anything. Issues here of transparency.> > BUT, back to the idea of showing that my son is affected by his bad day's at school. At the last iep mtg, when I brought up how my son soemtimes doesn't talk hours after school, they said, "well, it's not affecting his performance at school." I brought up that IDEA isn't only academic but they didn't want to hear it.> > What would you do to address any of these issues? Thanks!>

[Guest guest]

Okay, I need more from you, please. Do you have a boy or girl? How old is your child and how long have you been homeschooling? Do you do all the instruction yourself? Where do you socialize your child with peers?  How do you get a break in the day?

Thanks

 

 

On Wed, Jun 9, 2010 at 7:43 PM, Debra Balke <dlbalke@...> wrote:

 

I HATED THESE TYPES OF SCHOOL NOTES!!!!!!!!!!!  AUGHHHH  

 

That was my first thought when I read your email....

 

We homeschool.  I gave up.  It is so much easier to homeschool an autistic child than to teach/train a school district.  And, it is a lot more rewarding to boot..... It took me a long time to get to that place though.  I kept wanting them to do it!

Re: ( ) Re: How would u address after school anxiety and shut-down?

 

A follow-up on the parent communication book in which the teacher responded to my questions about why my son missed p.e. and recess:

 

" He did an incredible job on the project and was thrilled to show his classmates.The problem happened when he was asked to make it a " finished " product by making arrows or title " eye-catching " He had a difficult time processing this request because he felt he was finished. I could tell he was a bit " mopey " about making a decision and hesitated when it was time to line up for P.E.  I gave him the option of " resting " in Ms. X room until he felt he could participate. He chose to rest in her room and joined the class when he was fully ready. We are fully confident that this was the appropriate choice for us to give to him. He arrived back in the classroom fully willing and ready to participate. Thanks! "

 

My son didn't do any, " resting. " He had been crying and then they let him play on the computer to get him out of their hair. I'm so ticked, anyone care to give input on how to reply to this pack of lies?

On Wed, Jun 9, 2010 at 11:46 AM, Pamela <susanonderko@...> wrote:

 

In his IEP I would try to get a behavior interventionplan added. I would tell them he is getting moreschool avoidant (if he isn't now he will be if this keeps up).If they won't add it to the IEP, you can still add

it to the IEP parental concerns section. Be specific thatyour concern is that the school is using negative reinforcement with your son an AS child and that he needs a more gradual and positive approach to behavior changes.

Public schools can be so difficult about changing their practices.They can't see the problems this is causing but you can. Youdon't have to prove he has school anxiety or avoidance. It is so common with kids with any kind of issues. And what you are

asking for is reasonable. Our daughter did develop school refusal after years of school punishments and anxiety associated with it. She had to be switched to a more supportive school. hope this helps,

Pam _______________________________________________________Problem areas: issues with cooperationStrategies: needs to have employed basic strategies for behavior change for kids with AS.

Gain cooperation through gradual exposure to things " " is not doing. Use positive reinforcement throughout the day. Praise " " when he does cooperate. Do not use negative reinforcement (scolding, loss of recess, PE etc) as it increases school anxiety and school avoidance.

__________________________________________________________Hope this helps,Pam

>> Looking to address this in the iep. My son often comes home from school (I pick him up) non-verbal or refusing to talk about his day. When I do get him to open up there's been an incident or issue that caused him a bad day. Yesterday, for instance, there was a classroom activity that the teacher asked the kids to color. My son was adamant that he didn't want to color (I can't remember if my son has ever colored. He doesn't enjoy it honestly) The teacher kept on him to color and when my son wouldn't my son said she continuted to tell him to do it. (imposing her will on an asperger's child is so inaffective)He broke down crying and they kept him out of P.E. and recess.

> > I had to find out through my son what happened as the school didn't tell me anything. Issues here of transparency.> > BUT, back to the idea of showing that my son is affected by his bad day's at school. At the last iep mtg, when I brought up how my son soemtimes doesn't talk hours after school, they said, " well, it's not affecting his performance at school. " I brought up that IDEA isn't only academic but they didn't want to hear it.

> > What would you do to address any of these issues? Thanks!>

[Guest guest]

Boy with HFA,age 14 - homeschooled since first month of 6th grade/middle school. We use the school independent studies program. Socialize with 3 hours volunteer work per week, 6 hours community college class per week, outings we hire people to do. My mom does 15 hours per week babysitting. Paid through school district funds we pull from (long painful story, almost due process hearing) and IHSS (california in home support services funding) and TCRC (California regional center minimal funding - but we take what we can get). We did swim team, daily 1 1/2 hour swim also. Hired someone to take hikes with him. Cut and paste social programs as they come and go from our area. It really only takes about 1 to 2 hours per day, year round to homeschool. So, the time isn't the problem. It is trying to find "other" activities he can do. I really have to be with him in all settings pretty much, so it is difficult from that standpoint.

Daughter is 10 years old, Aspergers, still in school and doing well at school, meltdowns/rages after school frequently. But, school benefits her and we don't get nasty-grams from the school about her. Thank god!

Re: ( ) Re: How would u address after school anxiety and shut-down?

A follow-up on the parent communication book in which the teacher responded to my questions about why my son missed p.e. and recess:

"He did an incredible job on the project and was thrilled to show his classmates.The problem happened when he was asked to make it a "finished" product by making arrows or title "eye-catching" He had a difficult time processing this request because he felt he was finished. I could tell he was a bit "mopey" about making a decision and hesitated when it was time to line up for P.E. I gave him the option of "resting" in Ms. X room until he felt he could participate. He chose to rest in her room and joined the class when he was fully ready. We are fully confident that this was the appropriate choice for us to give to him. He arrived back in the classroom fully willing and ready to participate. Thanks!"

My son didn't do any, "resting." He had been crying and then they let him play on the computer to get him out of their hair. I'm so ticked, anyone care to give input on how to reply to this pack of lies?

On Wed, Jun 9, 2010 at 11:46 AM, Pamela <susanonderko > wrote:

In his IEP I would try to get a behavior interventionplan added. I would tell them he is getting moreschool avoidant (if he isn't now he will be if this keeps up).If they won't add it to the IEP, you can still addit to the IEP parental concerns section. Be specific thatyour concern is that the school is using negative reinforcement with your son an AS child and that he needs a more gradual and positive approach to behavior changes. Public schools can be so difficult about changing their practices.They can't see the problems this is causing but you can. Youdon't have to prove he has school anxiety or avoidance. It is so common with kids with any kind of issues. And what you areasking for is reasonable. Our daughter did develop school refusal after years of school punishments and anxiety associated with it. She had to be switched to a more supportive school. hope this helps,Pam _______________________________________________________Problem areas: issues with cooperationStrategies: needs to have employed basic strategies for behavior change for kids with AS.Gain cooperation through gradual exposure to things ""is not doing. Use positive reinforcement throughout the day. Praise ""when he does cooperate. Do not use negative reinforcement (scolding, loss of recess, PE etc) as it increases school anxiety and school avoidance.__________________________________________________________Hope this helps,Pam >> Looking to address this in the iep. My son often comes home from school (I pick him up) non-verbal or refusing to talk about his day. When I do get him to open up there's been an incident or issue that caused him a bad day. Yesterday, for instance, there was a classroom activity that the teacher asked the kids to color. My son was adamant that he didn't want to color (I can't remember if my son has ever colored. He doesn't enjoy it honestly) The teacher kept on him to color and when my son wouldn't my son said she continuted to tell him to do it. (imposing her will on an asperger's child is so inaffective)He broke down crying and they kept him out of P.E. and recess.> > I had to find out through my son what happened as the school didn't tell me anything. Issues here of transparency.> > BUT, back to the idea of showing that my son is affected by his bad day's at school. At the last iep mtg, when I brought up how my son soemtimes doesn't talk hours after school, they said, "well, it's not affecting his performance at school." I brought up that IDEA isn't only academic but they didn't want to hear it.> > What would you do to address any of these issues? Thanks!>

[Guest guest]

How was the initial transition at the start of homeschooling? Did your son enjoy it right from the start or was it a bumpy road? Are you connected with other homeschoolers in the area? Any advice for someone on the fence about it? My son is a 3rd grader now. I'm really not sure how he'd feel about being homeschooled--don't know if he would fully understand what that meant until it was actually a reality for him. Thanks for all your input!

On Wed, Jun 9, 2010 at 8:21 PM, Debra Balke <dlbalke@...> wrote:

 

Boy with HFA,age 14 - homeschooled since first month of 6th grade/middle school.  We use the school independent studies program.  Socialize with 3 hours volunteer work per week, 6 hours community college class per week, outings we hire people to do.  My mom does 15 hours per week babysitting.  Paid through school district funds we pull from (long painful story, almost due process hearing) and IHSS (california in home support services funding) and TCRC (California regional center minimal funding - but we take what we can get).  We did swim team, daily 1 1/2 hour swim also.  Hired someone to take hikes with him.  Cut and paste social programs as they come and go from our area.  It really only takes about 1 to 2 hours per day, year round to homeschool.  So, the time isn't the problem.  It is trying to find " other " activities he can do.  I really have to be with him in all settings pretty much, so it is difficult from that standpoint.

 

Daughter is 10 years old, Aspergers, still in school and doing well at school, meltdowns/rages after school frequently.  But, school benefits her and we don't get nasty-grams from the school about her.  Thank god!

Re: ( ) Re: How would u address after school anxiety and shut-down?

 

A follow-up on the parent communication book in which the teacher responded to my questions about why my son missed p.e. and recess:

 

" He did an incredible job on the project and was thrilled to show his classmates.The problem happened when he was asked to make it a " finished " product by making arrows or title " eye-catching " He had a difficult time processing this request because he felt he was finished. I could tell he was a bit " mopey " about making a decision and hesitated when it was time to line up for P.E.  I gave him the option of " resting " in Ms. X room until he felt he could participate. He chose to rest in her room and joined the class when he was fully ready. We are fully confident that this was the appropriate choice for us to give to him. He arrived back in the classroom fully willing and ready to participate. Thanks! "

 

My son didn't do any, " resting. " He had been crying and then they let him play on the computer to get him out of their hair. I'm so ticked, anyone care to give input on how to reply to this pack of lies?

On Wed, Jun 9, 2010 at 11:46 AM, Pamela <susanonderko@...> wrote:

 

In his IEP I would try to get a behavior interventionplan added. I would tell them he is getting moreschool avoidant (if he isn't now he will be if this keeps up).If they won't add it to the IEP, you can still add

it to the IEP parental concerns section. Be specific thatyour concern is that the school is using negative reinforcement with your son an AS child and that he needs a more gradual and positive approach to behavior changes.

Public schools can be so difficult about changing their practices.They can't see the problems this is causing but you can. Youdon't have to prove he has school anxiety or avoidance. It is so common with kids with any kind of issues. And what you are

asking for is reasonable. Our daughter did develop school refusal after years of school punishments and anxiety associated with it. She had to be switched to a more supportive school. hope this helps,

Pam _______________________________________________________Problem areas: issues with cooperationStrategies: needs to have employed basic strategies for behavior change for kids with AS.

Gain cooperation through gradual exposure to things " " is not doing. Use positive reinforcement throughout the day. Praise " " when he does cooperate. Do not use negative reinforcement (scolding, loss of recess, PE etc) as it increases school anxiety and school avoidance.

__________________________________________________________Hope this helps,Pam

>> Looking to address this in the iep. My son often comes home from school (I pick him up) non-verbal or refusing to talk about his day. When I do get him to open up there's been an incident or issue that caused him a bad day. Yesterday, for instance, there was a classroom activity that the teacher asked the kids to color. My son was adamant that he didn't want to color (I can't remember if my son has ever colored. He doesn't enjoy it honestly) The teacher kept on him to color and when my son wouldn't my son said she continuted to tell him to do it. (imposing her will on an asperger's child is so inaffective)He broke down crying and they kept him out of P.E. and recess.

> > I had to find out through my son what happened as the school didn't tell me anything. Issues here of transparency.> > BUT, back to the idea of showing that my son is affected by his bad day's at school. At the last iep mtg, when I brought up how my son soemtimes doesn't talk hours after school, they said, " well, it's not affecting his performance at school. " I brought up that IDEA isn't only academic but they didn't want to hear it.

> > What would you do to address any of these issues? Thanks!>

[Guest guest]

This kind of "mixed message" thing always happened to us. Especially with my older ds when he was younger in elementary school. Sometimes I was even called in to "explain" things - well, not explain really. More like let them show me what horrible awful thing my kid was doing. lol. And always, I would smile because it wasn't awful at all but expected if you knew my ds well enough.

One thing you really need to do is get a behavior plan written up and attached to his IEP as well. make sure everyone who works with him has a copy and understands it. I don't know your ds specifically, but you know how to manage these kinds of situations and you can make an outline to that effect and have the team discuss and add their two cents. My ds had a simple one in middle school - numbered 1 - 4, I think. And calling us was not the last option either . I wanted to be brought in much sooner than letting them go through a pile of interventions that were not working. But for other kids, maybe it would work better that way. You decide. At any rate, having them call you whenever there is a incident should be part of the behavior plan. I mean, look at this example and how easy it is for people like us to "get it" but how they didn't even bother to see why he was having a problem.

For what it's worth, my ds would be the same way. He did not edit. He did not improve something he had already done. It's done. Why would you do it again? lol. He is still that way.

I would add that you might have teacher in-servicing done as part of the IEP. Or at the least, you could get the teacher a book on AS/HFA or even send her/him regular short informational notes. Also, one idea you can try is to have the special ed teacher figure out what happened and discuss it with the reg. ed. teacher. sometimes, they would take direction from their peers.

The idea of giving these kids a "time out room" or "place" with options on ways to cool down is that it is used incorrectly like this. I get sick at how often this is thrown on the table as "the solution" when it's not a solution at all. A kid with an anxiety disorder might need a cool down place for no good reason (i.e. "just" anxiety, no other problem) But our kids usually have a reason they are getting upset and it is important to identify what is going on because it will keep happening. You should add to a calm down place that everyone will go over what happened to figure out what caused the problem and come up with solutions or a teaching program (social story, tutoring, whatever) to go over with your ds that will teach him how else to handle that particular problem.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Re: ( ) Re: How would u address after school anxiety and shut-down?

A follow-up on the parent communication book in which the teacher responded to my questions about why my son missed p.e. and recess:

"He did an incredible job on the project and was thrilled to show his classmates.The problem happened when he was asked to make it a "finished" product by making arrows or title "eye-catching" He had a difficult time processing this request because he felt he was finished. I could tell he was a bit "mopey" about making a decision and hesitated when it was time to line up for P.E. I gave him the option of "resting" in Ms. X room until he felt he could participate. He chose to rest in her room and joined the class when he was fully ready. We are fully confident that this was the appropriate choice for us to give to him. He arrived back in the classroom fully willing and ready to participate. Thanks!"

My son didn't do any, "resting." He had been crying and then they let him play on the computer to get him out of their hair. I'm so ticked, anyone care to give input on how to reply to this pack of lies?

On Wed, Jun 9, 2010 at 11:46 AM, Pamela <susanonderko > wrote:

In his IEP I would try to get a behavior intervention

plan added. I would tell them he is getting more

school avoidant (if he isn't now he will be if this keeps up).

If they won't add it to the IEP, you can still add

it to the IEP parental concerns section. Be specific that

your concern is that the school is using negative reinforcement with your son an AS child and that he needs a more gradual and positive approach to behavior changes.

Public schools can be so difficult about changing their practices.

They can't see the problems this is causing but you can. You

don't have to prove he has school anxiety or avoidance. It is

so common with kids with any kind of issues. And what you are

asking for is reasonable.

Our daughter did develop school refusal after years of school

punishments and anxiety associated with it. She had to be

switched to a more supportive school.

hope this helps,

Pam

_______________________________________________________

Problem areas: issues with cooperation

Strategies: needs to have employed basic strategies

for behavior change for kids with AS.

Gain cooperation through gradual exposure to things ""

is not doing.

Use positive reinforcement throughout the day. Praise ""

when he does cooperate.

Do not use negative reinforcement (scolding, loss of recess, PE etc) as it increases school anxiety and school avoidance.

__________________________________________________________

Hope this helps,

Pam

>

> Looking to address this in the iep. My son often comes home from school (I pick him up) non-verbal or refusing to talk about his day. When I do get him to open up there's been an incident or issue that caused him a bad day. Yesterday, for instance, there was a classroom activity that the teacher asked the kids to color. My son was adamant that he didn't want to color (I can't remember if my son has ever colored. He doesn't enjoy it honestly) The teacher kept on him to color and when my son wouldn't my son said she continuted to tell him to do it. (imposing her will on an asperger's child is so inaffective)He broke down crying and they kept him out of P.E. and recess.

>

> I had to find out through my son what happened as the school didn't tell me anything. Issues here of transparency.

>

> BUT, back to the idea of showing that my son is affected by his bad day's at school. At the last iep mtg, when I brought up how my son soemtimes doesn't talk hours after school, they said, "well, it's not affecting his performance at school." I brought up that IDEA isn't only academic but they didn't want to hear it.

>

> What would you do to address any of these issues? Thanks!

>