Re: Are social skills groups beneficial?

[Guest guest]

It really helps to develop skills and emotional awareness too.

Our neurologist said social skills 3 times a week every week.

Now finding groups your son will want to attend is another

matter.

At home you can work on using more gestures so he

makes more eye contact with you (thumbs up instead of saying yes etc)

broaden his interests one day a week for a few hours to what

boys his age of doing (roller skate, bike ride etc) then let

him have his special interest time.

Next label his emotions,

if he looks mad, ask him " are you mad " " are you lonely "

" are you nervous about tommorrow? " check how he is feeling,

these kinds usually don't have a good emotional IQ, you

want him to express emotions not bottle them up.

Another social skill is teaching by social stories you say

" Your cousin likes pokemon cards, at Christmas he may want

to show you a card and he would like it if you took at interest "

You can use your own interests to practice, tell him ask me about my

interests and I will do the same with you rather than

just have him talk on about his interests.

Telling social stories such as what other typical kids

are doing that you know " I was talking to my friend and she

said her son really likes the WE game, and he plays hours

on this one game called Prisoner of War " . This way he has

some idea what others are doing and thinking about.

There is so much to explicitly to teach these kids. I like

Michele Winners books that teach parents how to explain

social perspective, but it has so many skills to teach

about how others think about each other. You can start

with yourself. Does your son know your interests?

Have him get to know your interests (it will take years)

and show in interest (hard to get motivated for Mom perhaps)

Another SS strategy is Floortime, where you spend at least

an hour a day breaking a cycle of the child being withdrawn

you enter there world and start there, with there interests only.

The RDI folks don't teach at all they play games and do things

to engage the child and have them look at you. Frustrating

for some kids and parents but part of the overall strategy.

Spending time being physical and playing with each other

such as throwing a ball, rolling around, cuddling and

playing is important too. For us this was a real struggle

when anxiety was high.

The more anxiety the more they retreat into there interests.

One very helpful strategy was to treat the anxiety at age

12, it was causing too many problems.

Obessiveness is still such a problem for us.

It is a marathon not a sprint. It takes their whole

childhood to help them grow. And often threw young

adulthood.

good luck,

Pam

l esalt

>

> My eight year old son was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. He is

very verbal, although he talks mostly about plumbing, lighting, and heating

systems. He is aware enough to refrain from speaking with classmates about these

topics, as he realizes that typical kids are uninterested. I know that he

doesn't speak with any of his classmates at lunch time and he said that he

doesn't mind this at all; he would rather look at the pipes in the lunchroom.

>

> I am wondering if I should find a social skills group for him. Are there

different kinds that address different needs? I'm not even sure what his needs

are. Does anyone have any positive or negative experiences with this? I

appreciate anyone's input. Thank you!

>

[Guest guest]

Yes and no. I think that a social skills group can help a child practice basic

social skills but it also needs to help him learn how to transfer those skills

into every day life and not just the isolated setting of the group.

My son has attended a social skills group at school for many years now. It's

helped but he is stubborn so doesn't always participate. He's also gone to

outside social skills groups and although he received good reports from those

groups it just doesn't transfer to every day life. I think that the groups that

are held with his everyday peers are most beneficial because those are the kids

that he is going to see on a regular basis.

My son is now 15. I've seen him go from a very socially awkward kid who tried

very hard to make friends with some success to a withdrawn teenager who has no

interest in friends. The school psychologist recently recommended that my son

have 5 social skills sessions per week. The school tried to put it on me but I

pushed back saying that it needed to be with his peers. They have come up with a

mix of things to fulfill this recommendation. It's too soon to tell how

effective it is. My son communicates just fine with us but has problems with

others. I tell my son that it's essential that he develop better social skills

because he's going to need them when he goes off to college.

Caroline

>

> My eight year old son was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. He is

very verbal, although he talks mostly about plumbing, lighting, and heating

systems. He is aware enough to refrain from speaking with classmates about these

topics, as he realizes that typical kids are uninterested. I know that he

doesn't speak with any of his classmates at lunch time and he said that he

doesn't mind this at all; he would rather look at the pipes in the lunchroom.

>

> I am wondering if I should find a social skills group for him. Are there

different kinds that address different needs? I'm not even sure what his needs

are. Does anyone have any positive or negative experiences with this? I

appreciate anyone's input. Thank you!

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Pam, for the very detailed response. I realize I have a lot to learn

and am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I will look into all your suggestions. Thanks

again.

> >

> > My eight year old son was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. He is

very verbal, although he talks mostly about plumbing, lighting, and heating

systems. He is aware enough to refrain from speaking with classmates about these

topics, as he realizes that typical kids are uninterested. I know that he

doesn't speak with any of his classmates at lunch time and he said that he

doesn't mind this at all; he would rather look at the pipes in the lunchroom.

> >

> > I am wondering if I should find a social skills group for him. Are there

different kinds that address different needs? I'm not even sure what his needs

are. Does anyone have any positive or negative experiences with this? I

appreciate anyone's input. Thank you!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

We've found social skills groups to be very helpful. My son has been through

several sessions at his psychologist's office since being diagnosed about 18

months ago. My DS is almost 12 now and has gotten a lot out of the groups.

Sessions include topics such as bullying, etiquette, and when and where it's

appropriate to share your special instances. For example, a boy in middle

school can still have stuffed animals but he shouldn't be taking them to school.

The psychologist who runs the groups believes while all of this is very

important, the most important thing is to get Aspies together so they can

support one another and, hopefully, find a friend or two through the groups.

Bronwyn

>

> >

> > My eight year old son was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.

> >

> > I am wondering if I should find a social skills group for him. Are there

different kinds that address different needs? I'm not even sure what his needs

are. Does anyone have any positive or negative experiences with this? I

appreciate anyone's input. Thank you!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

These are things I have learned over the last 5 years, so be kind to yourself.

Start where you feel comfortable.

Perhaps play with him a little each day and talk about his

interests and praise him for being so smart. This teaches

that it is fun to be with people and talk. Or if you don't

have time, using more gestures can be fun and your son may use

them with others eventually too.

best wishes!

Pam

> > >

> > > My eight year old son was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. He

is very verbal, although he talks mostly about plumbing, lighting, and heating

systems. He is aware enough to refrain from speaking with classmates about these

topics, as he realizes that typical kids are uninterested. I know that he

doesn't speak with any of his classmates at lunch time and he said that he

doesn't mind this at all; he would rather look at the pipes in the lunchroom.

> > >

> > > I am wondering if I should find a social skills group for him. Are there

different kinds that address different needs? I'm not even sure what his needs

are. Does anyone have any positive or negative experiences with this? I

appreciate anyone's input. Thank you!

> > >

> >

>