naive young adults Re: Cure

[Guest guest]

I think being taken advantage of is a very big concern. I was very naive and

did not cope well flatting with people (was alright with kind people, but there

was always someone manipulative and cruel which was confusing and distressing).

I left home to go to uni at age 18 and I would have had social and emotional

maturity of a 14 year old probably.

Miranda

>

> Sue – Great post. My son wasn't diagnosed until he was 15 – diagnosed at

> age 5 with ADHD though I often thought that there was something more going

> on than just the ADHD. I attributed the late diagnosis to not enough

> awareness about Aspergers – it wasn't an accepted diagnosis in the U.S.

> until 1994. My son does drive and is a very good driver but struggles with

> many of the things you mention. His dad is in the process of getting legal

> guardianship as he is not ready to make any major decisions and we worry

> about others taking advantage of him. We do hope that this is not permanent

> and we can reverse it at some point but this may never happen. I am also

> involved with a group of parents with Aspie kids – we are looking at

> appropriate housing options for our adult kids. Again, I am hopeful that by

> the time this becomes a reality my son won't need this – but still realistic

> enough to know that he may need to live in some sort of housing that offers

> supports.

>

>

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Comtois

> Sent: June 08, 2010 08:04 PM

>

> Subject: ( ) Re: Cure

>

>

>

>

>

> My almost 19yo son has AS. He's never had any sort of verbal delay, and he

> has a *very* high IQ. But he's not going to be leading an independent life

> as an adult for a long time--if ever. He needs to be our ward (and is happy

> to be so) because he can't handle major decisions for himself. He can't

> find a doctor or an apartment, navigate college, be responsible for

> remembering to do important things, or do many other things that a typical

> person of his age can do if they absolutely have to. He probably won't ever

> be able to drive because he processes events slowly and startles rather than

> reacting appropriately when something unexpected happens. He has earned two

> professional certificates, but is on the waiting list with the Department of

> Rehabilitative Services because he's sufficiently handicapped to qualify for

> job placement and job coaching services--without which he would be unable to

> get or retain a job. (He has no sense of business-appropriate behavior and

> doesn't self-edit the sort of comments that will get you fired, so he's

> going to need an employer who is *very* understanding.) Something like 70%

> of adults with AS are under or unemployed because of similar problems. He's

> never had a friend despite the fact that he would dearly love at least one.

> He probably won't ever marry and have a family of his own. We're *hoping*

> that, with appropriate supports, he'll eventually be able to leave home, but

> that's years and years in the future if ever.

>

>

>

> I'm also saddened by parents whose children have been diagnosed at 5 or 6

> yo, who think that their child has " mild AS. " If a person has mild AS--the

> kind that means they're going to be quirky adults and absent-minded

> professors--they're often not diagnosed until they're in junior high and

> their social deficits have become a problem. (I have another son who has AS

> who's in that category.) If AS is apparent at the age of 5 or 6, it's

> probably not going to be a " mild case. " It's all about not keeping pace

> developmentally with chronological peers. None of the 5yos have great

> social skills, so a mild case isn't even apparent at that age. However, as

> typical children become more socially competent, kids with AS lag farther

> and farther behind. If you can already see that lag at a very early age

> it's a pretty good indication that you're not dealing with a mild case of

> AS.

>

>

>

> As far as the need for a cure goes, my feeling is that if, as an adult, you

> have AS and you can take care of yourself, you probably don't need a

> cure--although you might want one anyway because it would simplify life a

> great deal. If you don't need friends or a family of your own, then you're

> not going to be bothered by their absence and you probably don't need a

> cure. If, however, you want a family, your spouse is going to have to do

> the heavy lifting in the relationship if it's going to succeed. My husband

> has AS, so I have some experience with this. If you have AS, and it means

> you can't hold a job and have to depend on your family, social services, or

> the kindness of strangers as an adult rather than taking care of yourself,

> then you're being selfish and deluding yourself if you think you're simply

> " different. "

>

>

>

> Sue

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> < /message/144200;_ylc=X3oDMTJx

> Z2liOWRxBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE1BGdycElkAzE4NjM4BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNjMyOTA1MgRtc2dJZAMx

> NDQyMDAEc2VjA2Rtc2cEc2xrA3Ztc2cEc3RpbWUDMTI3NjA0MDc2NQ--> Re: Cure

>

>

> Posted by: " Roxanna " MadIdeas@...

> <mailto:MadIdeas@...?Subject=%20Re%3A%20Cure> roxannaneely

> <roxannaneely>

>

>

> Tue Jun 8, 2010 2:12 pm (PDT)

>

>

>

>

>

> Well, if that is true then she is wrong. This is a group for parents

> whose kids have AS and HFA. (My two ds's have HFA and not AS) We are

> not an " AS only " group. Also, AS people are not guaranteed completely

> independent lives as adults at all either. If they were all going to

> do fine as adults, then I can see how one wouldn't be that worried and

> how one might think having AS was just a " different way of thinking. "

> However, that is not true at all.

>

> Also, autism is a spectrum disorder but that does not mean there is a

> menu of problems that only certain people have within the spectrum.

> Rather, it means they all have the same core problems with varying

> severity.

>

> Roxanna

> Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

>

> Re: ( ) Cure

>

> Do people who can't even talk or communicate have aspergers? I think

> she is referring to aspergers only--as this is an aspergers group.

> Asperger children are even above high functioning autism on the

> spectrum. They are completely independent as adults and do not have the

> issues that other lower spectrum children have.

> So I think she is referring to Aspergers--not the children who can't

> communicate or participate.

>

> Purrs & Kisses,

> Kristal of Digi Kitty

> The Kitty who loves Digi!

> Designer for the VDBC " More " Team - you can see my designs HERE!!!

>

> Â

> Â

> Â

>