how to help my son cope with death

January 6, 2010

my 7 year old son jacob is having a hard time right now and all i can think of

is he is grieving a little. he has regressed in school and gone back to hitting

and kicking kids something he hasn't really done in a couple years at least not

everyday like he is now. he keeps getting folder marks and most are for hitting

and kicking. not just in his class but its in music and pe too. he doesn't have

any good reason for doing it either i think hes just bullying right now and that

breaks my heart because i don't want him doing it. the only thing i can think of

as to why he may be regressing is our family has gone through alot of hard times

lately. in april of 08 my 6 year old niece died of a gbm brain tumor and four

months later her father and my brother was diagnosed with a brain tumor as well.

his being a grade down but on the brainstem called an aa3. so after a year of

watching my niece suffer and lose her battle in 08 we had to do it with my

brother in 09. and to make matters worse my father suddenly and very

unexpectably passed away in september of 09. he was very close with my father

and my brother and was just getting to know my niece as he was younger. all of

these deaths are hard for him to understand and hes very upset and cries alot

about them. he also is afraid we are all gonna die and ask me almost daily if

i'm sick and dying. i just tell him no that i'm ok and hes ok and lets just

enjoy that. so i have been gone from him a few times to be with my dying loved

ones and thats very hard for him as well. oh yea my brother ended up passing

away on december 11 so right before the holidays. we tried our best to make them

as normal as possible. i am very upset and grieving myself but i don't really

cry in front of him or let him see how depressed i am. i will talk with him

about them and tell him its ok to cry and be sad but too also remember the good

things about them. but now i just do not know what to do about his behavior at

school. i have just been doing time out and not letting him play with his wii

until he get a sticker. its not working. i did try to calmly talk with him

yesterday about how its not nice that we keep our hands and feet to ourselves

and we don't talk in class and yada yada. but that didn't work either. he says

his friends are nice to him so i'm not concerned about him not having friends

right now but i am afraid if he keeps it up nobody will want to keep playing

with him. so if anybody has any suggestions on how to help him deal with these

deaths and to get him back on track at school i would appreciate it. sorry so

long! thanks shara

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