Re: Neuropsych assessment -

[Guest guest]

I totally understand and we are here to listen. It will get better for you both. Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless deviceFrom: "andie6294" <andie6294@...>Date: Wed, 07 Oct 2009 05:46:46 -0000< >Subject: ( ) Neuropsych assessment - So we spent an entire day and a half torturing my daughter (6) with a TON of tests until she could take no more. In case some of you didn't read my previous post about testing.... we live in the middle of nowhere and had to drive close to 4 hours, so the center tried to get as much testing as they could in during this one trip. The only thing they didn't get to was the academic testing. Of course I'm really bummed about that, but hopefully they'll get us in again real soon for it. I don't know how long I have to wait for results. They said they really couldn't give any preliminary findings, but the tester definitely got to know ALL sides of liese, on AND off Adderall. I'm sure it's normal procedure, but the testing was done one-on-one while I waited in the lobby, so I have no idea how she performed or if she was at all cooperative. I just pray they come up with SOMETHING. We've had a rough couple of days since we got home. She seems to be more stressed out and very irritable. I even got a call to pick her up from school today because she was in the office complaining that her eyes hurt and she was too tired to concentrate. She went to bed rather early last night and slept well too. She's a very perceptive little girl, and I hope she doesn't have the feeling that we think she's defective - although I suppose if someone dragged me 4 hours from home and made me sit in a closet with some person hurling questions at me for hours on end, I may question myself too.So I'm beat and feeling a bit worn down. I had high hopes, and figured I'd walk away with a little something, but it's more of the waiting game. I find myself getting more and more frustrated with my daughter to the point that I feel I'm not enjoying her at all. In fact, most of the time, I dread the time I have to be with her. I often feel resentful because I'm trying so hard to help her, I'm devoting my life to it, but it just isn't doing any good. I expect results, but she doesn't work WITH me - she doesn't see that I'm trying to make her life (and, well, mine too) easier. I am totally just venting right now. I think I'm more upset with myself because I should be treasuring my daughter, but I feel like all my effort is being wasted. It's like she doesn't WANT to learn. She wants to do what is familiar and fights anything that may even remotely challenge her. I honestly don't know how she's squeaking by in school. Ugg. I'm tired (but what else is new???). Think I'll quit bitching and stop my pity party and go to bed. I'll once again be optimistic that tomorrow will be a better day. Thanks to you all. I'm sure my questions and rants will continue soon!Andie

[Guest guest]

I used to feel resentful when my son was younger and we were still trying to figure out exactly what was wrong with my son (now 13.) I also had a hard time enjoying him most of the time b/c I felt like it was 1 step forward, 3 steps back. Here's a great analogy...it's like sitting down at a table to put a 1000 piece puzzle together but with no picture as a guide. FRUSTRATING! So hang in there, keep doing what you do, and don't beat yourself up if you feel defeated a lot of the time. What I found out from my son was that he was benefitting from what I was doing with him, it just took awhile to see the real benefits. I think it's part of his processing challenges. It was almost like he was storing away what he was learning and it just took awhile to figure out how to retrieve it from his brain. So hang in there! She might be learning more than you realize, but

just not ready to show it yet.

Also...about her eyes...has she ever had her vision tested? Might want to if you haven't.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: andie6294 <andie6294@...> Sent: Wednesday, October 7, 2009 12:46:46 AMSubject: ( ) Neuropsych assessment -

So we spent an entire day and a half torturing my daughter (6) with a TON of tests until she could take no more. In case some of you didn't read my previous post about testing.... we live in the middle of nowhere and had to drive close to 4 hours, so the center tried to get as much testing as they could in during this one trip. The only thing they didn't get to was the academic testing. Of course I'm really bummed about that, but hopefully they'll get us in again real soon for it. I don't know how long I have to wait for results. They said they really couldn't give any preliminary findings, but the tester definitely got to know ALL sides of liese, on AND off Adderall. I'm sure it's normal procedure, but the testing was done one-on-one while I waited in the lobby, so I have no idea how she performed or if she was at all cooperative. I just pray they come up with SOMETHING. We've had a rough couple of days since we got home. She seems to be

more stressed out and very irritable. I even got a call to pick her up from school today because she was in the office complaining that her eyes hurt and she was too tired to concentrate. She went to bed rather early last night and slept well too. She's a very perceptive little girl, and I hope she doesn't have the feeling that we think she's defective - although I suppose if someone dragged me 4 hours from home and made me sit in a closet with some person hurling questions at me for hours on end, I may question myself too.So I'm beat and feeling a bit worn down. I had high hopes, and figured I'd walk away with a little something, but it's more of the waiting game. I find myself getting more and more frustrated with my daughter to the point that I feel I'm not enjoying her at all. In fact, most of the time, I dread the time I have to be with her. I often feel resentful because I'm trying so hard to help her, I'm devoting my life to it, but it

just isn't doing any good. I expect results, but she doesn't work WITH me - she doesn't see that I'm trying to make her life (and, well, mine too) easier. I am totally just venting right now. I think I'm more upset with myself because I should be treasuring my daughter, but I feel like all my effort is being wasted. It's like she doesn't WANT to learn. She wants to do what is familiar and fights anything that may even remotely challenge her. I honestly don't know how she's squeaking by in school. Ugg. I'm tired (but what else is new???). Think I'll quit bitching and stop my pity party and go to bed. I'll once again be optimistic that tomorrow will be a better day. Thanks to you all. I'm sure my questions and rants will continue soon!Andie

[Guest guest]

I hear you, soame days can be really hard, we still have our assessment to come, judging by the last one my son just switches off if he is asked something he finds difficult, likewise with home work. But there are other times when he is an absolute joys soo funny.

I think the key lies in understanding how it must be for them, although that is often easier said than done.

Hope things get better for you.

Lor B

From: paulahowson@... <paulahowson@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Neuropsych assessment - Date: Wednesday, 7 October, 2009, 11:02 AM

I totally understand and we are here to listen. It will get better for you both. Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

From: "andie6294" <andie6294 (DOT) com>

Date: Wed, 07 Oct 2009 05:46:46 -0000

< >

Subject: ( ) Neuropsych assessment -

So we spent an entire day and a half torturing my daughter (6) with a TON of tests until she could take no more. In case some of you didn't read my previous post about testing.... we live in the middle of nowhere and had to drive close to 4 hours, so the center tried to get as much testing as they could in during this one trip. The only thing they didn't get to was the academic testing. Of course I'm really bummed about that, but hopefully they'll get us in again real soon for it. I don't know how long I have to wait for results. They said they really couldn't give any preliminary findings, but the tester definitely got to know ALL sides of liese, on AND off Adderall. I'm sure it's normal procedure, but the testing was done one-on-one while I waited in the lobby, so I have no idea how she performed or if she was at all cooperative. I just pray they come up with SOMETHING. We've had a rough couple of days since we got home. She seems to

be more stressed out and very irritable. I even got a call to pick her up from school today because she was in the office complaining that her eyes hurt and she was too tired to concentrate. She went to bed rather early last night and slept well too. She's a very perceptive little girl, and I hope she doesn't have the feeling that we think she's defective - although I suppose if someone dragged me 4 hours from home and made me sit in a closet with some person hurling questions at me for hours on end, I may question myself too.So I'm beat and feeling a bit worn down. I had high hopes, and figured I'd walk away with a little something, but it's more of the waiting game. I find myself getting more and more frustrated with my daughter to the point that I feel I'm not enjoying her at all. In fact, most of the time, I dread the time I have to be with her. I often feel resentful because I'm trying so hard to help her, I'm devoting my life to it, but it

just isn't doing any good. I expect results, but she doesn't work WITH me - she doesn't see that I'm trying to make her life (and, well, mine too) easier. I am totally just venting right now. I think I'm more upset with myself because I should be treasuring my daughter, but I feel like all my effort is being wasted. It's like she doesn't WANT to learn. She wants to do what is familiar and fights anything that may even remotely challenge her. I honestly don't know how she's squeaking by in school. Ugg. I'm tired (but what else is new???). Think I'll quit bitching and stop my pity party and go to bed. I'll once again be optimistic that tomorrow will be a better day. Thanks to you all. I'm sure my questions and rants will continue soon!Andie

[Guest guest]

You touched on many of the same issues and feelings we have.

We did the neuropsych test over a month rather than overwhelm

my daughter. I understand you couldn't do that so don't

be hard on her and yourself that was a huge stressor.

Whenever my daughter has tests, we have to give her a gradual

return to school to allow her to process what is happening

or her behavior is really bad. So I am not surprised

you had to get her at school.

I too had a hard time getting a DX. I finally taped my daughter

socializing with other girls 1:1. The girl in the tape was

trying to engage my daughter and she kept going back to her

fixated interest. This tape really helped the PhD see the AS.

The problem with my daughter is she is so engaging 1:1 with

adults especially if she is talking about her interest in animals.

I tried from age 4 - 9 to get a DX. So hang in there it is exhausting

I know.

I understand the kind of despair about working so hard to help

your child and not seeing results. But it takes a long time.

We started my daughter on zoloft this summer and finally she is

receptive to some shaping of ideas. Also as she is getting older

she is a little better able to be self reflective. She is almost

12 now.

The best advice I can give if you are feeling upset with your

child is to cut back on activities and expectations to socialize

until you can enjoy being together 1:1 first.

Dr. Stanley Greenspan is a child psychiatrist and has written

some books on special needs kids. What I really found interesting

was that he recommends the parents spend 30 minutes (with each parent 1:1)

talking to the child about there interests. He calls this

floortime and it is being used in the Autism community

more and more. Anyway the idea is to engage your child

in a postive relationship daily and to get the child to put

words to emotions. Here is the remarkable thing to me, he says

that when you express feelings it changes the way you feel.

It helps you regulate your emotions better. Anyway try some

play if you are not burned out with work, housework and other

child care. It is not that easy to find time especially if you work or have

other kids I realize. But it is a strategy that helps

so much.

I hope the report is helpful!

Pam

n , " andie6294 " <andie6294@...> wrote:

>

> So we spent an entire day and a half torturing my daughter (6) with a TON of

tests until she could take no more. In case some of you didn't read my previous

post about testing.... we live in the middle of nowhere and had to drive close

to 4 hours, so the center tried to get as much testing as they could in during

this one trip. The only thing they didn't get to was the academic testing. Of

course I'm really bummed about that, but hopefully they'll get us in again real

soon for it. I don't know how long I have to wait for results. They said they

really couldn't give any preliminary findings, but the tester definitely got to

know ALL sides of liese, on AND off Adderall. I'm sure it's normal

procedure, but the testing was done one-on-one while I waited in the lobby, so I

have no idea how she performed or if she was at all cooperative. I just pray

they come up with SOMETHING.

>

> We've had a rough couple of days since we got home. She seems to be more

stressed out and very irritable. I even got a call to pick her up from school

today because she was in the office complaining that her eyes hurt and she was

too tired to concentrate. She went to bed rather early last night and slept

well too. She's a very perceptive little girl, and I hope she doesn't have the

feeling that we think she's defective - although I suppose if someone dragged me

4 hours from home and made me sit in a closet with some person hurling questions

at me for hours on end, I may question myself too.

>

> So I'm beat and feeling a bit worn down. I had high hopes, and figured I'd

walk away with a little something, but it's more of the waiting game. I find

myself getting more and more frustrated with my daughter to the point that I

feel I'm not enjoying her at all. In fact, most of the time, I dread the time I

have to be with her. I often feel resentful because I'm trying so hard to help

her, I'm devoting my life to it, but it just isn't doing any good. I expect

results, but she doesn't work WITH me - she doesn't see that I'm trying to make

her life (and, well, mine too) easier.

>

> I am totally just venting right now. I think I'm more upset with myself

because I should be treasuring my daughter, but I feel like all my effort is

being wasted. It's like she doesn't WANT to learn. She wants to do what is

familiar and fights anything that may even remotely challenge her. I honestly

don't know how she's squeaking by in school.

>

> Ugg. I'm tired (but what else is new???). Think I'll quit bitching and stop my

pity party and go to bed. I'll once again be optimistic that tomorrow will be a

better day. Thanks to you all. I'm sure my questions and rants will continue

soon!

> Andie

>

[Guest guest]

One of the big problems we have in our home is the Gregor 6 has a hierachy, this goes way back to him being a baby shouting the name of who had to push his pram, if I am there he wants me to do everything, my husband gets in with both barrels if he tries to help or join in, Gregor shouts at him and says mum will do it or I asked Mum, not you. If I am not in my husband is number 1, Gregor will shout at his gran. Do you think "floor time " would help this? >> So we spent an entire day and a half torturing my daughter (6) with a TON of tests until she could take no more. In case some of you didn't read my previous post about testing.... we live in the middle of nowhere and had

to drive close to 4 hours, so the center tried to get as much testing as they could in during this one trip. The only thing they didn't get to was the academic testing. Of course I'm really bummed about that, but hopefully they'll get us in again real soon for it. I don't know how long I have to wait for results. They said they really couldn't give any preliminary findings, but the tester definitely got to know ALL sides of liese, on AND off Adderall. I'm sure it's normal procedure, but the testing was done one-on-one while I waited in the lobby, so I have no idea how she performed or if she was at all cooperative. I just pray they come up with SOMETHING. > > We've had a rough couple of days since we got home. She seems to be more stressed out and very irritable. I even got a call to pick her up from school today because she was in the office complaining that her eyes hurt and she was too tired to concentrate. She went to bed rather

early last night and slept well too. She's a very perceptive little girl, and I hope she doesn't have the feeling that we think she's defective - although I suppose if someone dragged me 4 hours from home and made me sit in a closet with some person hurling questions at me for hours on end, I may question myself too.> > So I'm beat and feeling a bit worn down. I had high hopes, and figured I'd walk away with a little something, but it's more of the waiting game. I find myself getting more and more frustrated with my daughter to the point that I feel I'm not enjoying her at all. In fact, most of the time, I dread the time I have to be with her. I often feel resentful because I'm trying so hard to help her, I'm devoting my life to it, but it just isn't doing any good. I expect results, but she doesn't work WITH me - she doesn't see that I'm trying to make her life (and, well, mine too) easier. > > I am totally just venting

right now. I think I'm more upset with myself because I should be treasuring my daughter, but I feel like all my effort is being wasted. It's like she doesn't WANT to learn. She wants to do what is familiar and fights anything that may even remotely challenge her. I honestly don't know how she's squeaking by in school. > > Ugg. I'm tired (but what else is new???). Think I'll quit bitching and stop my pity party and go to bed. I'll once again be optimistic that tomorrow will be a better day. Thanks to you all. I'm sure my questions and rants will continue soon!> Andie>

[Guest guest]

Pam,

I don't have much time to write, but this popped into my mind and I thought it

was worth mentioning. I believe the reason our kids can seem so 'normal' when

speaking 1:1 with an adult is because adults will fake interest for the sake of

being polite. Other kids will get tired of hearing the never-ending run on

about a favorite topic, and they will to try to escape. Perhaps our kids feel

that other children aren't interesting (or interested) enough, and they'd rather

just carry on with what they want to do.

Andie

>

> You touched on many of the same issues and feelings we have.

>

> We did the neuropsych test over a month rather than overwhelm

> my daughter. I understand you couldn't do that so don't

> be hard on her and yourself that was a huge stressor.

>

> Whenever my daughter has tests, we have to give her a gradual

> return to school to allow her to process what is happening

> or her behavior is really bad. So I am not surprised

> you had to get her at school.

>

> I too had a hard time getting a DX. I finally taped my daughter

> socializing with other girls 1:1. The girl in the tape was

> trying to engage my daughter and she kept going back to her

> fixated interest. This tape really helped the PhD see the AS.

> The problem with my daughter is she is so engaging 1:1 with

> adults especially if she is talking about her interest in animals.

> I tried from age 4 - 9 to get a DX. So hang in there it is exhausting

> I know.

>

>

> I understand the kind of despair about working so hard to help

> your child and not seeing results. But it takes a long time.

> We started my daughter on zoloft this summer and finally she is

> receptive to some shaping of ideas. Also as she is getting older

> she is a little better able to be self reflective. She is almost

> 12 now.

>

> The best advice I can give if you are feeling upset with your

> child is to cut back on activities and expectations to socialize

> until you can enjoy being together 1:1 first.

>

> Dr. Stanley Greenspan is a child psychiatrist and has written

> some books on special needs kids. What I really found interesting

> was that he recommends the parents spend 30 minutes (with each parent 1:1)

talking to the child about there interests. He calls this

> floortime and it is being used in the Autism community

> more and more. Anyway the idea is to engage your child

> in a postive relationship daily and to get the child to put

> words to emotions. Here is the remarkable thing to me, he says

> that when you express feelings it changes the way you feel.

> It helps you regulate your emotions better. Anyway try some

> play if you are not burned out with work, housework and other

> child care. It is not that easy to find time especially if you work or have

other kids I realize. But it is a strategy that helps

> so much.

>

> I hope the report is helpful!

>

> Pam

>

>