a question about empathy

[Guest guest]

Hello all. I have just recently joined this group. I have two children with the

diagnosis of high functioning autism. My third child is exhibiting signs as

well. He is 3 and has not been diagnosed as I have been quite overwhelmed with

my other two. I know that sounds really terrible but I am so overwhelmed. I am

trying to home school all. Anyway, yesterday we spent the morning at Children's

hospital seeing a neurologist. I have felt that my children probably have

aspergers because they seem to meet the criteria so clearly. However, I am

thinking my son may not because of one thing. He has never been one to watch

much television as he would much prefer to scotch tape things and create pulley

systems with string. However, on the rare occasion he bothers to watch TV I have

to be VERY VERY careful that no one is getting hurt or mistreated. As you know,

most movies for children have some type of " villan " . (I am talking G movies

only) Anyway, this limits our selection considerably. Recently, I allowed him to

watch " Otis and Milo " as I heard it was quite benign. When the puppy and cat

were stranded in the box floating down the stream he became quite distressed. I

had to turn it off. This is the case for almost all movies because he cant stand

for someone to be hurt. He is also quite worried about the homeless. He has

asked more than once if we could take food and money to the day laborers. I know

that aspi's can feel and can feel deeply. But,is all of this not empathy?

Yesterday I asked the doctor about this and she dismissed it and said " probably

just another obsession " . I was wondering what you all think? Do any of you have

children who worry excessively about the feelings and problems of others? It

seems to me to fly in the face of the diagnosis. However, as I said this is all

very new to me and maybe I am just not getting it. He has an uncanny ability to

know when I am sad despite me trying to hide it. Yesterday in the car he stared

at me in the rear view mirror so intently after our doctor's appointment. I

think he knew my heart was heavy. I would appreciate any thoughts you have.

Thank you,