I'm not sure I am in the right forum

[Guest guest]

However I am 50 years old and I was just recently diagnosed by a psychiatrist as

having a " classic case " of Aspergers.

I'm very surprised.

I was painfully shy as a child and I was bullied in school. People thought i was

a " little scientist " and i was very interested in space and science fiction. My

iq is in the 130s. My handwriting is poor. I walked with a funny gait until my

20s. I am a bookworm, I need an hour or so of solitude daily. I'm great with

computers. I guess I'm a geek. I have many friends, however I don't enjoy a lot

of socializing and small talk. I never read fiction.

On the other hand I have always had a great sense of humor, I have never avoided

eye contact and in general I have never been as bizarre as the leading character

in the recent movie " Adam " . My wife and I are together for 16 years and we have

three children who adore me. I generally have no problem holding a job.

So would anyone here have an opinion about this diagnosis?

[Guest guest]

One thing to keep in mind is that we tend to grow "into" our Asperger's as we get older.. We don't grow "out of" it, but we grow 'into" it. So as we get older, we may seem less and less Aspie, but the issues are definitely still there.. We have just found ways to cope, avoid, and redirect ourselves.. No one is forcing us to do things we hate any longer, which is a biggie! Unless you are doing a job that you despise.. But I cannot hold a job.. Never could. But I know my brother with Asperger's has held the same job for over 15 years and I think he is more Aspie than me in some ways. Our Dad got him hired on where he was working and he just stuck with it. I gave up trying to hold a job after I got married and started having children. I suppose if I were a

man I would not have that choice (most likely). I cannot make eye contact very well so that is one thing that keeps me from getting hired. I am 35 and undiagnosed. All my children are diagnosed, but I have not made that leap for me yet.

I also cannot read fiction at all. I have tried, but I can't. I have a huge library in my home. And I continue to collect.. I LOVE books.. But they are all non-fiction except for the ones I collect for my children. I have 3 Aspie daughters and two of them devour fiction, but one of them cannot read fiction at all.

I would say you fit the Asperger's description quite a bit.. Asperger's varies so much.. It never looks the same in any two Aspies. Some are able to make good eye contact. I know all three of my daughters are completely different from one another, but all three are diagnosed with Asperger's.

Do your children have the same issues?

Misty

From: S <harrydubois@...> Sent: Mon, February 14, 2011 2:51:21 PMSubject: ( ) I'm not sure I am in the right forum

However I am 50 years old and I was just recently diagnosed by a psychiatrist as having a "classic case" of Aspergers.I'm very surprised.I was painfully shy as a child and I was bullied in school. People thought i was a "little scientist" and i was very interested in space and science fiction. My iq is in the 130s. My handwriting is poor. I walked with a funny gait until my 20s. I am a bookworm, I need an hour or so of solitude daily. I'm great with computers. I guess I'm a geek. I have many friends, however I don't enjoy a lot of socializing and small talk. I never read fiction.On the other hand I have always had a great sense of humor, I have never avoided eye contact and in general I have never been as bizarre as the leading character in the recent movie "Adam". My wife and I are together for 16 years and we have three children who adore me. I generally have no problem holding a job.So would anyone here have an

opinion about this diagnosis?

Need Mail bonding?Go to the Q&A for great tips from Answers users.

[Guest guest]

Thank you very much. Very interesting. I still am a bit confused however, regarding what defines Aspergers. It almost sounds like anyone a little shy could fit the diagnosis, going right up to a complete mental case.None of my children have been diagnosed with Aspergers. My sonhowever has cerebral palsy and is so involved physically that beingAspie might not be noticed so easily. Besides him I have two littledaughters.I was adopted as a baby by the way. I have met my biological family,however. My mother's and my brother's handwriting is poor and lookssimilar to mine. My birth mother is very reclusive and has almost nosocial contact with anyone, although when younger she was seeminglymore normal. Her mother, who died many years ago, was famous for beingvery cold and unfeeling.Would you recommend any books in particular?Sent from my iPadOn Feb 15, 2011, at 11:46 AM, md l <dontblinkhs@...> wrote:

One thing to keep in mind is that we tend to grow "into" our Asperger's as we get older.. We don't grow "out of" it, but we grow 'into" it. So as we get older, we may seem less and less Aspie, but the issues are definitely still there.. We have just found ways to cope, avoid, and redirect ourselves.. No one is forcing us to do things we hate any longer, which is a biggie! Unless you are doing a job that you despise.. But I cannot hold a job.. Never could. But I know my brother with Asperger's has held the same job for over 15 years and I think he is more Aspie than me in some ways. Our Dad got him hired on where he was working and he just stuck with it. I gave up trying to hold a job after I got married and started having children. I suppose if I were a

man I would not have that choice (most likely). I cannot make eye contact very well so that is one thing that keeps me from getting hired. I am 35 and undiagnosed. All my children are diagnosed, but I have not made that leap for me yet.

I also cannot read fiction at all. I have tried, but I can't. I have a huge library in my home. And I continue to collect.. I LOVE books.. But they are all non-fiction except for the ones I collect for my children. I have 3 Aspie daughters and two of them devour fiction, but one of them cannot read fiction at all.

I would say you fit the Asperger's description quite a bit.. Asperger's varies so much.. It never looks the same in any two Aspies. Some are able to make good eye contact. I know all three of my daughters are completely different from one another, but all three are diagnosed with Asperger's.

Do your children have the same issues?

Misty

From: S <harrydubois@...> Sent: Mon, February 14, 2011 2:51:21 PMSubject: ( ) I'm not sure I am in the right forum

However I am 50 years old and I was just recently diagnosed by a psychiatrist as having a "classic case" of Aspergers.I'm very surprised.I was painfully shy as a child and I was bullied in school. People thought i was a "little scientist" and i was very interested in space and science fiction. My iq is in the 130s. My handwriting is poor. I walked with a funny gait until my 20s. I am a bookworm, I need an hour or so of solitude daily. I'm great with computers. I guess I'm a geek. I have many friends, however I don't enjoy a lot of socializing and small talk. I never read fiction.On the other hand I have always had a great sense of humor, I have never avoided eye contact and in general I have never been as bizarre as the leading character in the recent movie "Adam". My wife and I are together for 16 years and we have three children who adore me. I generally have no problem holding a job.So would anyone here have an

opinion about this diagnosis?

Need Mail bonding?Go to the Q & A for great tips from Answers users.

[Guest guest]

It may help you understand your history a little but do not let it define your future. Aspergers is a spectrum and many people fall on the end of having very few symptoms and others on the complete opposite end with some pretty debilitating ones. The real question is what do you think of the diagnosis?. Do you feel relieved or irritated, do you think he is dead on or completely off base? If he is not reccommending medication, then it may not make a bit of difference in your life at all. If he is, then you should make sure it targets the symptoms that really are making life hard for you in my opinion anyways. I think of Aspergers as a different way of being and thinking, not as a disability, so you need to treat the parts that make life hard and miserable and use

the rest to do what you love and makes you happy. That is what it is all about. The label is a means to an end for getting the help you need but at 50 you may have gotten to where you need without the label and then what purpose does it serve? Or maybe you are tremendously unhappy and that is what the psychiatrist is trying to help you sort out.... I do not know. You have to decide if this will help you or not to find the happiness you are looking for, otherwise I would say it makes little difference.

From: S <harrydubois@...> Sent: Mon, February 14, 2011 2:51:21 PMSubject: ( ) I'm not sure I am in the right forum

However I am 50 years old and I was just recently diagnosed by a psychiatrist as having a "classic case" of Aspergers.I'm very surprised.I was painfully shy as a child and I was bullied in school. People thought i was a "little scientist" and i was very interested in space and science fiction. My iq is in the 130s. My handwriting is poor. I walked with a funny gait until my 20s. I am a bookworm, I need an hour or so of solitude daily. I'm great with computers. I guess I'm a geek. I have many friends, however I don't enjoy a lot of socializing and small talk. I never read fiction.On the other hand I have always had a great sense of humor, I have never avoided eye contact and in general I have never been as bizarre as the leading character in the recent movie "Adam". My wife and I are together for 16 years and we have three children who adore me. I generally have no problem holding a job.So would anyone here have an

opinion about this diagnosis?

[Guest guest]

First of all, I'm not quite certain what exactly aspergers is. It seems to include everyone from people who are shy and bookish up to people who have terrible phobias and mental disabilities.No one is recommending medication, however the diagnosis, if correct, helps me to better understand myself and also it helps others to be more tolerant of me. I have bought my wife two books about being married to an aspie. First of all, she says it sounds exactly like me. Secondly, she now has a lot more patience with some of my quirks. So anyway, I really wish I had learned this much earlier. Sent from my iPhoneOn Feb 15, 2011, at 6:38 PM, Jadczak <bjadczak@...> wrote:

It may help you understand your history a little but do not let it define your future. Aspergers is a spectrum and many people fall on the end of having very few symptoms and others on the complete opposite end with some pretty debilitating ones. The real question is what do you think of the diagnosis?. Do you feel relieved or irritated, do you think he is dead on or completely off base? If he is not reccommending medication, then it may not make a bit of difference in your life at all. If he is, then you should make sure it targets the symptoms that really are making life hard for you in my opinion anyways. I think of Aspergers as a different way of being and thinking, not as a disability, so you need to treat the parts that make life hard and miserable and use

the rest to do what you love and makes you happy. That is what it is all about. The label is a means to an end for getting the help you need but at 50 you may have gotten to where you need without the label and then what purpose does it serve? Or maybe you are tremendously unhappy and that is what the psychiatrist is trying to help you sort out.... I do not know. You have to decide if this will help you or not to find the happiness you are looking for, otherwise I would say it makes little difference.

From: S <harrydubois@...> Sent: Mon, February 14, 2011 2:51:21 PMSubject: ( ) I'm not sure I am in the right forum

However I am 50 years old and I was just recently diagnosed by a psychiatrist as having a "classic case" of Aspergers.I'm very surprised.I was painfully shy as a child and I was bullied in school. People thought i was a "little scientist" and i was very interested in space and science fiction. My iq is in the 130s. My handwriting is poor. I walked with a funny gait until my 20s. I am a bookworm, I need an hour or so of solitude daily. I'm great with computers. I guess I'm a geek. I have many friends, however I don't enjoy a lot of socializing and small talk. I never read fiction.On the other hand I have always had a great sense of humor, I have never avoided eye contact and in general I have never been as bizarre as the leading character in the recent movie "Adam". My wife and I are together for 16 years and we have three children who adore me. I generally have no problem holding a job.So would anyone here have an

opinion about this diagnosis?

[Guest guest]

I am glad it has helped you then. a diagnosis is a double edged sword if ever there was one. Tolerance is a good thing on all of our parts. I know since my son's diagnosis I work very hard not to judge others large or small because you never know what someone else's reality is.

From: Stein <harrydubois@...>" " < >Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 9:43:06 AMSubject: Re: ( ) I'm not sure I am in the right forum

First of all, I'm not quite certain what exactly aspergers is. It seems to include everyone from people who are shy and bookish up to people who have terrible phobias and mental disabilities.

No one is recommending medication, however the diagnosis, if correct, helps me to better understand myself and also it helps others to be more tolerant of me. I have bought my wife two books about being married to an aspie. First of all, she says it sounds exactly like me. Secondly, she now has a lot more patience with some of my quirks. So anyway, I really wish I had learned this much earlier. Sent from my iPhone

On Feb 15, 2011, at 6:38 PM, Jadczak <bjadczak@...> wrote:

It may help you understand your history a little but do not let it define your future. Aspergers is a spectrum and many people fall on the end of having very few symptoms and others on the complete opposite end with some pretty debilitating ones. The real question is what do you think of the diagnosis?. Do you feel relieved or irritated, do you think he is dead on or completely off base? If he is not reccommending medication, then it may not make a bit of difference in your life at all. If he is, then you should make sure it targets the symptoms that really are making life hard for you in my opinion anyways. I think of Aspergers as a different way of being and thinking, not as a disability, so you need to treat the parts that make life hard and miserable and use the rest to do what you love and makes you happy. That is what it is all about. The label is a means to an end for getting the help you need but at 50 you may have

gotten to where you need without the label and then what purpose does it serve? Or maybe you are tremendously unhappy and that is what the psychiatrist is trying to help you sort out.... I do not know. You have to decide if this will help you or not to find the happiness you are looking for, otherwise I would say it makes little difference.

From: S <harrydubois@...> Sent: Mon, February 14, 2011 2:51:21 PMSubject: ( ) I'm not sure I am in the right forum

However I am 50 years old and I was just recently diagnosed by a psychiatrist as having a "classic case" of Aspergers.I'm very surprised.I was painfully shy as a child and I was bullied in school. People thought i was a "little scientist" and i was very interested in space and science fiction. My iq is in the 130s. My handwriting is poor. I walked with a funny gait until my 20s. I am a bookworm, I need an hour or so of solitude daily. I'm great with computers. I guess I'm a geek. I have many friends, however I don't enjoy a lot of socializing and small talk. I never read fiction.On the other hand I have always had a great sense of humor, I have never avoided eye contact and in general I have never been as bizarre as the leading character in the recent movie "Adam". My wife and I are together for 16 years and we have three children who adore me. I generally have no problem holding a job.So would anyone here have an

opinion about this diagnosis?

[Guest guest]

Well, I think there are varying degrees of Asperger's. I also think that the environment for an aspie child has a tremendous impact on whether or not he or she learns appropriate social skills and proceeds to have a healthy adult life. If a child is in an environment where they were allowed to isolate themselves then I would imagine the transition into adulthood would be very challenging.

That said, I think if you have been a functioning adult but, " with quirks " but with friends, then I can't help but wonder why you were even wasting time on a psychiatrist's chair? No insult, but as you described yourself I think you seem to have it pretty good. Btw, did your wife cajole you into seeking a possible dx?