Guest guest Posted June 10, 2010 Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 That's too bad she feels that way. My ex's parents have trouble with my son't diagnosis as well. They are all about making suggestions but they don't see him enough to really know what's going on with him. Really I just try to ignore them and be as polite as I can when they say anything. > > I've known we've had Asperger's for past 2 years, but only recently got official diagnosis. I knew something was odd prior, but didn't know what it was. > > My MIL refuses to accept diagnosis. Ironically, she works with special needs children. But family hasn't been close for years - I think she doesn't want to believe it because doesn't like me and my son is a lot like me (but more severe). Is frustrating, but am trying to just get on with our lives. > > Miranda > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2010 Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 My inlaws constantly harass us about ds eating habits. He only eats peanut butter and a few other things. I have heard for many years how if I had cooked better, or "made" him eat, that he would like more types of food.We only got diagnosis a few months ago. It has helped us so much to know what was going on. We tended to blame ourselves for all of his little quirks. Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: "jm.smoldt" <jm.smoldt@...>Date: Thu, 10 Jun 2010 21:12:37 -0000< >Subject: ( ) Re: family in denial That's too bad she feels that way. My ex's parents have trouble with my son't diagnosis as well. They are all about making suggestions but they don't see him enough to really know what's going on with him. Really I just try to ignore them and be as polite as I can when they say anything.>> I've known we've had Asperger's for past 2 years, but only recently got official diagnosis. I knew something was odd prior, but didn't know what it was. > > My MIL refuses to accept diagnosis. Ironically, she works with special needs children. But family hasn't been close for years - I think she doesn't want to believe it because doesn't like me and my son is a lot like me (but more severe). Is frustrating, but am trying to just get on with our lives.> > Miranda> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2010 Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 we moved country! They are very superficial, malicious people as well as unsupportive. My husband's sister disowned us (turns out she hated me and family on her side). We don't lose sleep over it anymore. At least my family are supportive. Miranda > > > > I've known we've had Asperger's for past 2 years, but only recently got official diagnosis. I knew something was odd prior, but didn't know what it was. > > > > My MIL refuses to accept diagnosis. Ironically, she works with special needs children. But family hasn't been close for years - I think she doesn't want to believe it because doesn't like me and my son is a lot like me (but more severe). Is frustrating, but am trying to just get on with our lives. > > > > Miranda > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2010 Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 I have had to deal with some of this from both my family and my husband's family. My father refuses to accept that there is an issue - he holds out that children need time to be children and his answer to the emotional meltdowns (the only issue my father was willing to admit he saw) was to turn on the cartoon channels to distract him. Our son had other medical issues that involved frequent high fevers, so my father believes the issues are just delay from Tyler being sick so much and not related to the autism at all. When we got the dx I tried reasoning with him, even if that is so (cause is from fevers), you treat the symptoms which involves knowing about and understanding how to help children on the spectrum. And my DH parents are very distant. They put off that they care (and in some respect they do), but honestly they only call near holidays and only see the kids 2-3 times a year. When Tyler was counting, reciting the alphabet, reading and doing jigsaw puzzles at 2 years old my MIL comment was, "We don't want him to be a genius, they have problems". Then after my DH told her about the dx (diagnosis) she called me and said, "I thought there was something but didn't want to say anything" - What kind of caring is that??? Wouldn't you want to get the child help as early as possible if that were the case? And she also made a comment, " He will always be special " How was I supposed to take that one???? EVERY child is special with their own individualities and uniqueness. EVERY child has 'quirks' whether NT or otherwise. It doesn't take being on the spectrum to be 'special'. I don't know why some people are so afraid to even consider the possibility, but some are. With regards to my In Laws I am just polite when they call or come around, but I stand up for myself if comments are made that are incorrect also. My FIL (step to my husband) and I don't get along very well. I am a strong woman and don't let others push me around, and he likes to have everyone 'under his thumb'. Sorry everyone, I have to learn to limit my response length. I tend to get very wordy. ~ P. From: jm.smoldt <jm.smoldt@...>Subject: ( ) Re: family in denial Date: Thursday, June 10, 2010, 2:12 PM That's too bad she feels that way. My ex's parents have trouble with my son't diagnosis as well. They are all about making suggestions but they don't see him enough to really know what's going on with him. Really I just try to ignore them and be as polite as I can when they say anything.>> I've known we've had Asperger's for past 2 years, but only recently got official diagnosis. I knew something was odd prior, but didn't know what it was. > > My MIL refuses to accept diagnosis. Ironically, she works with special needs children. But family hasn't been close for years - I think she doesn't want to believe it because doesn't like me and my son is a lot like me (but more severe). Is frustrating, but am trying to just get on with our lives.> > Miranda> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2010 Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 yes, we got blamed and judged a lot. We've developed thicker skins and learnt to ignore people that think they could do better. My MIL wanted us to send my wee boy on a plane by himself from Australia to New Zealand to visit her (but hates my guts, that's probably why she's in denial that he's like me). Of course, I refused - can imagine my wee lad freaking out and screaming on a plane that he can't get off for hours! We only got formally diagnosed recently, but I've known for a few years (but we waited to see if we needed to pursue a label or not - we decided we had to). It's been useful for me and my hubby understanding all my quirks too eg hate sloppy kisses and bad breath cos of sensory issues, not rejection of him! Miranda > > > > I've known we've had Asperger's for past 2 years, but only recently got official diagnosis. I knew something was odd prior, but didn't know what it was. > > > > My MIL refuses to accept diagnosis. Ironically, she works with special needs children. But family hasn't been close for years - I think she doesn't want to believe it because doesn't like me and my son is a lot like me (but more severe). Is frustrating, but am trying to just get on with our lives. > > > > Miranda > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2010 Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 I get wordy too. Sorry if I dominate a bit. I used to be mouse and not express my opinion at all. My family are being very supportive and learning all they can. My husband's family have had a strained relationship for years (I'm a strong woman too that stands up for myself - no more bullying). My husband is the black sheep - the only decent one in a pack of wolves - they all backstab each other - is awful. I think they all think I'm a lunatic that I have me son on a diet (no A1 casein and additives). My parents have seen first hand how ill he gets when has a little dairy - throwing up blood, weak for days etc. He is okay with A2 dairy casein. My parents are religious (which can be irritating when my mother starts preaching, but she's only trying to help). They thought I turned my life on God therefore my life went bad. (I started suffering from depression as young adult). I told dad gently the other day, it was actually the other way around - I find it hard to believe God cares for me when he doesn't seem to look out for me. I was confused by all the people telling me to pray more, read Bible more and that I was possessed by devil! Plus church is hugely social. Dad said I was a happy child. I was because my father took care of everything - paid bills, earnt money to feed us etc. (I didn't realise I was " different " back then). Now my husband does all that. I feel quite frustrated at times because have often felt like a burden to my husband because I have high IQ but can not manage a lot of daily adult responsibilities - being a parent is the hardest responsibility of all. My husband's own sister disowned him - I think his family hate me and therefore shut him out because he supports me (emotionally etc). Miranda > > > > I've known we've had Asperger's for past 2 years, but only recently got official diagnosis. I knew something was odd prior, but didn't know what it was. > > > > My MIL refuses to accept diagnosis. Ironically, she works with special needs children. But family hasn't been close for years - I think she doesn't want to believe it because doesn't like me and my son is a lot like me (but more severe). Is frustrating, but am trying to just get on with our lives. > > > > Miranda > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2010 Report Share Posted June 11, 2010 I was a picky eater when young (well, still not the best diet, LOL, I don't like veges). However, my Aspie son was extremely picky, limited in what he ate. I could probably count and just add up to 10 or so things he'd eat. I do think some of it was food texture. But also just that he did not like some foods, just like I don't like veges. Glad to say, at 21, he eats quite a variety of food, including veges LOL, and I don't think there is anything he won't try. It began to improve in high school. > > My inlaws constantly harass us about ds eating habits. He only eats peanut butter and a few other things. I have heard for many years how if I had cooked better, or " made " him eat, that he would like more types of food. > > We only got diagnosis a few months ago. It has helped us so much to know what was going on. We tended to blame ourselves for all of his little quirks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2010 Report Share Posted June 11, 2010 My 20 year old son did that only limited food when young....bologna and weiners only. He outgrew it.....he eats everything in sight now. From: deabakcp@... <deabakcp@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: family in denial Date: Thursday, June 10, 2010, 4:18 PM My inlaws constantly harass us about ds eating habits. He only eats peanut butter and a few other things. I have heard for many years how if I had cooked better, or "made" him eat, that he would like more types of food.We only got diagnosis a few months ago. It has helped us so much to know what was going on. We tended to blame ourselves for all of his little quirks. Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry® From: "jm.smoldt" <jm.smoldt (DOT) com> Date: Thu, 10 Jun 2010 21:12:37 -0000 < > Subject: ( ) Re: family in denial That's too bad she feels that way. My ex's parents have trouble with my son't diagnosis as well. They are all about making suggestions but they don't see him enough to really know what's going on with him. Really I just try to ignore them and be as polite as I can when they say anything.>> I've known we've had Asperger's for past 2 years, but only recently got official diagnosis. I knew something was odd prior, but didn't know what it was. > > My MIL refuses to accept diagnosis. Ironically, she works with special needs children. But family hasn't been close for years - I think she doesn't want to believe it because doesn't like me and my son is a lot like me (but more severe). Is frustrating, but am trying to just get on with our lives.> > Miranda> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2010 Report Share Posted June 14, 2010 I actually got those lectures from my in-laws early on. It was not about food but about his behavior and his inability to talk. To make matters worse, he was selectively mute and wouldn't talk to my in-laws for many many years. But they would comment that I should "go to work" and put him in day care so he could learn to be around people. And well, it just went on and on for years. We finally just got to the point that when they started bad mouthing us (me), we'd just get up and leave. We were nice about it and made excuses, "Oh, gotta get home...." but we would leave. It was the best thing we did. Well, that plus move two states away. Gosh did that help! lol. Anyway, they caught on faster than I would have thought to our leaving quickly once they started harassing us. And they stopped or slowed down a lot in that regard once they made the connection. I consider it a form on behavior modification really. lol. Roxanna Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. ( ) Re: family in denial That's too bad she feels that way. My ex's parents have trouble with my son't diagnosis as well. They are all about making suggestions but they don't see him enough to really know what's going on with him. Really I just try to ignore them and be as polite as I can when they say anything. > > I've known we've had Asperger's for past 2 years, but only recently got official diagnosis. I knew something was odd prior, but didn't know what it was. > > My MIL refuses to accept diagnosis. Ironically, she works with special needs children. But family hasn't been close for years - I think she doesn't want to believe it because doesn't like me and my son is a lot like me (but more severe). Is frustrating, but am trying to just get on with our lives. > > Miranda > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2010 Report Share Posted June 14, 2010 I was selectively mute too as a child. We find it easier living in a different country from our parents Miranda > > > > I've known we've had Asperger's for past 2 years, but only recently got official diagnosis. I knew something was odd prior, but didn't know what it was. > > > > My MIL refuses to accept diagnosis. Ironically, she works with special needs children. But family hasn't been close for years - I think she doesn't want to believe it because doesn't like me and my son is a lot like me (but more severe). Is frustrating, but am trying to just get on with our lives. > > > > Miranda > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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