Any idea? Every time my cell rings for past 2 weeks, it has been the school!

October 13, 2009

Please help.

It started two weeks ago, when my 11-year-old boy accidently touched his

large-breasted special ed teacher. The teacher reacted strongly, by sending him

to quiet time and problem solving with him by discussing " sexual harrassment " .

Note that my son just started middle school and never had this issue before and

was unconscious about the sexual issues at all. So the touch was purely

accidental: he does like touching & fidgeting with things (and sometimes people,

but usually arms and hair).

After that, he got obsessed with it. Every chance he gets, he asks " Can I touch

your breasts " , even though he clearly knows the answer is always a loud NO. He

did that to this particular teacher for pretty much every day last week. Of

course, quite often he was sent to quiet time and problem solving for asking the

question (often out loud in class). And one time he actually managed to touch

her again, while saying " tickle tickle " , and he was written up and we had to go

for morning detention.

But starting this week, he started asking pretty much every female staff whether

he could touch their breasts (and of course the answer is No and often he ends

up in quiet time again). We had one good day yesterday (and he got rewarded by

me of course), but today he managed to touch another female teacher, and now we

are going to detention tomorrow morning. And throughout the two weeks, I have

got so many calls from school... And he has never done this with me or his

grandma or his younger sisters.

There is so much I can say about how the school has handled it. I wrote several

long emails, and now I am calling for an IEP and invited the county special ed

department people. But meanwhile, I have to do something about my son's

behavior: he is stuck in this mode and often comes home tired without ever

learning anything. And it's so stressful, trying to talk to him about his

behaviors, making up for missed school time, and being able to finish homework,

and still trying to make sure he loses his confidence and happy attitude...

Any idea? I tried reward and consequence, we looked up the defintion of " sexual

harrassment " on internet together, we reasoned, we argued, and we yelled... What

would you do in this situation? Any behavior strategy? Any strategy the school

can implement?

My son has OCD and anxiety (on top of Asperger), but so far we are not yet on

medication (bad experience with Prozoc and Celexa last year for a short time

period). I am seriously considering the medication route again, but scared of

trying... What is your experience with medication?

Any idea or suggestion is very much appreciated.

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