Re: Telling other kids

[Guest guest]

I wouldn't tell kids that young, I don't think they would understand. But you can always tell them to play nice. And say "Gregor gets upset when you girls hide and don't play with him. Can you let him in the play house sometimes?" And they will probably say yes.

Kids that age would respond better to specific requests, I think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suzanne

suzmarkwood@...

From: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@...>Subject: ( ) Telling other kids Date: Thursday, September 17, 2009, 1:38 AM

Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?

My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to chase the three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.

How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?

[Guest guest]

I think it might be good to explain that he's upset because some six year olds

won't like this game asperger syndrome or not. I always answered questions

honestly and even if seemed really different, which he did, the kids would

have an answer rather than coming to their own conclusions. When kids came to

their own conclusions and often when adults come to their own conclusions they

just think is bad. But when I talk to people, explain his behavior, help

them understand, help them get that is also not the only kid with these

kinds of differences, then the information is used and generalized in a way that

makes everything easier. Once a little girl asked me, " Why does hide under

his desk in math? " I told her that he has some trouble knowing what is around

him and how far away things are but that if he hides under the desk he can touch

everything around him and it makes him feel safe. Then she continued talking to

and playing with and was completely comfortable. She also knew she

could ask me questions without me being upset and that I'd answer her honestly.

Another kid in 4th grade asked me, " Is asperger syndrome something to be ashamed

of? " I told him that it wasn't, that was born that way and that it

affected his social skills. I explained that some people are really good at

being with other people and some people are better with math. is good at

math but not at dealing with people. The boy said, " should take a class in

social skills. " Then I told him that was taking a social skills class

already. It sounds like he's being mean here, but really, this kid was very

sweet and trying to be helpful and as long as his tone of voice and body

language led me to believe he just wanted to understand and to help I was more

than happy to answer without scolding him for how the questions happened to come

out. He was very friendly with prior to this and continued to be friendly

with afterwards.

Of course telling other kids can go wrong and sometimes it's hard to tell which

kids will be rotten about it but when they're only 6 years old most of them

haven't developed much malice yet. Teach them now because I think it can get

harder later. You don't have to use labels. Just say, " well, he has a hard

time with... just like some people have a hard time with math or spelling. " It

won't seem like a big deal then.

Miriam

Miriam

>

> Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?

> My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on

like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem

is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started

playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But

their favourite game is for my son to chase the three of them and they hide in

the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice

in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.

> How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem

really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?

>

[Guest guest]

Since the other gals are younger,,,,I'd talk to the parents, first. Just tell them the way it is with your son.

Then,,,,,explain how games like "hide and seek", or basically any "sport" is hard on them. He, socially, doesnt' "get" that it's okay for there to be laughter when you can't find the others.

Maybe you can all (parents and kids) sit down and talk about the need to play more inclusive games?

Good luck.

Robin

From: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@...>Subject: ( ) Telling other kids Date: Thursday, September 17, 2009, 3:38 AM

Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?

My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to chase the three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.

How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?

[Guest guest]

I would just explain to the girls what part of the " game " is upsetting

Gregor. I used to " speak for " my older ds because he wouldn't talk to

people. So a lot of times I would just state what it was that was

bothering him abou something. And also encourage Gregor to learn how

to speak up for himself. Practice with him - role play - how to say,

" I don't like playing this game because... "

 Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

( ) Telling other kids

anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?

My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get

on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great.

The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his

class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually

they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to

chase the three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let

him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor

comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.

How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, wit

hout making

him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?

[Guest guest]

So simple, I never thought of that, I don't like this game...., he does respond well to role play. His way of dealing with bullies is going up to them while they are standing with their Mum/Dad inthe playground and saying loudly, please don't hit me at playtime it's not nice, usually the parent starts asking their own child questions. Works just now cause they are only 6yrs old.

From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Telling other kids Date: Friday, 18 September, 2009, 1:19 PM

I would just explain to the girls what part of the "game" is upsetting Gregor. I used to "speak for" my older ds because he wouldn't talk to people. So a lot of times I would just state what it was that was bothering him abou something. And also encourage Gregor to learn how to speak up for himself. Practice with him - role play - how to say, "I don't like playing this game because..." Roxanna"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke ( ) Telling other kidsanyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to chase the three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play

together?

[Guest guest]

Lorraine, that is my 12 yo too! He is always going to tell parents

what their darlings are doing. I have tried hard to make him stop

because kids don't like being tattled on - he is not making friends by

doing this. And he is so good at it! lol...

 Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

( ) Telling other kids

anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?

My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get

on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great.

The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his

class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually

they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to

chase the three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let

him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor

comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.

How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, wit

hout making

him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play

together?

[Guest guest]

My husband takes our son to school, we live in quite a small town, so most of us know which parents belong to which kids, so we usually know if Gregor is going to say something and my husband stands near the parent, and kinda says Hi I'm Gregors Dad and explains a little about Aspergers and how G finds it a little harder to make friends,most of the parents, so far, have been sympathetic. I he has a couple of friends he plays with, I don't mind if the others don't like being told on, as long as it stops them hitting him.

Our kids may have some problems but the things they are good at, boy! lolFrom: Roxanna <MadIdeasaol (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) Telling other kids Date: Friday, 18 September, 2009, 1:19 PM I would just explain to the girls what part of the "game" is upsettingGregor. I used to "speak for" my older ds because he wouldn't talk topeople. So a lot of times I would just state what it was=20that wasbothering him abou something. And also encourage Gregor to learn howto speak up for himself. Practice with him - role play - how to say,"I don't like playing this game because..." Roxanna"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to donothing." E. Burke ( ) Telling other kidsanyone got any

hints on how to tell other kids?My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they geton like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great.The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in hisclass, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usuallythey are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son tochase the three of them and they hide in the play house and won't lethim in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregorcomes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without makinghim seem really different, or do I just ask them to all playtogether?

[Guest guest]

One time a kid down the street took my ds's bike and rolled it through

some dog poop on purpose, just to be mean. My ds was hysterical about

it, talked about it for YEARS, long after the wheels were washed off

and the bike fell apart and was replaced. Several years later, we are

walking through the neighborhood on Halloween, doing " trick or treat "

and we didn't realize we had gotten to that boys house. But my ds,

having never forgotten, proceeded to tell the mother right then and

there (and loudly!) what her ds had done years before. I think the

parent was so shocked, other kids standing in line for candy were

shocked, my dh and I argued over who had to admit he was theirs. lol.

Still to this day, we bypass that house because he would do it again.

It's probably good for him to tell if they are hitting him! My ds will

tell about any infraction of life's rules - saying " darn " , being mean,

not letting him play too, having the " wrong " politics, etc. I am sure

some parents have had to listen to a list of infractions, lol.

 Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

( ) Telling other kids

anyone got any

hints on how to tell other kids?

My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a

3yr old girl and they get

on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great.

The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his

class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually

they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to

chase the three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let

him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor

comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.

How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, wit

hout making

him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play

together?

[Guest guest]

That´s the bad side of having a good memory and issues with knowing when to stop..................

/--- Den fre 2009-09-18 skrev Roxanna <MadIdeas@...>:

Från: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...>Ämne: Re: ( ) Telling other kidsTill: Datum: fredag 18 september 2009 15.24

One time a kid down the street took my ds's bike and rolled it through some dog poop on purpose, just to be mean. My ds was hysterical about it, talked about it for YEARS, long after the wheels were washed off and the bike fell apart and was replaced. Several years later, we are walking through the neighborhood on Halloween, doing "trick or treat" and we didn't realize we had gotten to that boys house. But my ds, having never forgotten, proceeded to tell the mother right then and there (and loudly!) what her ds had done years before. I think the parent was so shocked, other kids standing in line for candy were shocked, my dh and I argued over who had to admit he was theirs. lol. Still to this day, we bypass that house because he would do it again.It's probably good for him to tell if they are hitting him! My ds will tell about any infraction of life's rules - saying "darn", being mean, not

letting him play too, having the "wrong" politics, etc. I am sure some parents have had to listen to a list of infractions, lol. Roxanna"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke ( ) Telling other kidsanyone got anyhints on how to tell other kids?My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they geton like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great.The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in hisclass, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usuallythey are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son tochase the three of them and they hide in the play house and won't lethim in. I genuinly don't think

there is any malice in it, but Gregorcomes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without makinghim seem really different, or do I just ask them to all playtogether?

Låna pengar utan säkerhet.

Sök och jämför lån hos Kelkoo.

[Guest guest]

Thats brill, love it. lolFrom: Roxanna <MadIdeasaol (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) Telling other kids Date: Friday, 18 September, 2009, 1:19 PM I would just explain to the girls what part of the "game" is upsettingGregor. I used to "speak for" my older ds because he wouldn't talk topeople. So a lot of times I would just state what it was=20that wasbothering him abou something. And also encourage Gregor to learn howto speak up for himself. Practice with him

- role play - how to say,"I don't like playing this game because..." Roxanna"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to donothing." E. Burke ( ) Telling other kidsanyone got anyhints on how to tell other kids?My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they geton like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great.The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in hisclass, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usuallythey are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son tochase the three of them and they hide in the play house and won't lethim in. I genuinly don't think

there is any malice in it, but Gregorcomes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without makinghim seem really different, or do I just ask them to all playtogether?

[Guest guest]

We've had a different problem with tattling. My daughter has a friend who comes

to play sometimes. She is very bossy and I think attention seeking. Any time

my son, the one with asperger syndrome, says or does ANYTHING she finds a reason

to tattle. Especially the bad words and is stuck on a lot of words that

aren't terribly appropriate. The developmental pediatrician and a psychologist

said to try to ignore it as much as possible. Of couse it isn't REALLY possible

to ignore it all the time but this little girl kept coming to me and saying,

" said 'hell' " . doesn't even get that hell is a bad word. We don't

make a deal of that one at all but of course other people don't like it. So one

day for a couple of hours it was, " Mrs. Banash, said... " and he was ready

to pound her. I finally told her, " It's my job to figure out if he needs

discipline! " It was driving us all crazy. Now this little girl is not miss

goody two shoes and she's not endearing herself to my son. I've stopped having

her over for sleepovers because the last time she took things from his room (not

stealing just taking them out to upset him) and then threw his wastebasket at

him!! So it's not like she has any clue about how to behave. 's own sister

doesn't tattle as much. was really ready to point this girl the last time

she visited and it's the first time I've seen him do anything so aggressive in a

long time. He was ready to hit her but I managed to jump in before it happened.

has a hard enough time without someone constantly tattling on him every 30

seconds and if he's saying a " bad " word over and over with her tattling that

maybe he really can't control it at this point.

If was HITTING her and she told me I'd be fine with it. He doesn't hit

often so it really doesn't come up much any more. If is just perseverating

on a word and not talking directly to this girl then telling me over and over

again is exasperating for me and frustrating and confusing for .

Miriam

>

> From: Roxanna <MadIdeasaol (DOT) com>

> Subject: Re: ( ) Telling other kids

>

> Date: Friday, 18 September, 2009, 1:19 PM

>

>  

>

> I would just explain to the girls what part of the " game " is upsetting

> Gregor. I used to " speak for " my older ds because he wouldn't talk to

> people. So a lot of times I would just state what it was=2

> 0that was

> bothering him abou something. And also encourage Gregor to learn how

> to speak up for himself. Practice with him - role play - how to say,

> " I don't like playing this game because... "

>

>  Roxanna

>

> " The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

> nothing. " E. Burke

>

> ( ) Telling other kids

>

> anyone got any

> hints on how to tell other kids?

>

> My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a

> 3yr old girl and they get

> on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great.

> The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his

> class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually

> they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to

> chase the three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let

> him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor

> comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.

>

> How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, wit

> hout making

> him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play

> together?

>

[Guest guest]

>

> We've had a different problem with tattling. My daughter has a friend who

comes to play sometimes. She is very bossy and I think attention seeking. Any

time my son, the one with asperger syndrome, says or does ANYTHING she finds a

reason to tattle. Especially the bad words and is stuck on a lot of words

that aren't terribly appropriate. The developmental pediatrician and a

psychologist said to try to ignore it as much as possible.

This is really bad advice. Set up a rule--no tattling. The rules most parents

and teachers set up are: 1) if it doesn't involve someone physically getting

hurt--it is tattling; 2) if something is really bugging her, she must talk to

the child bothering her and try to work it out first before she goes to an

adult. Working it out does not mean bullying.

If she can't follow the rules--she leaves your house. She'll learn.

[Guest guest]

Well...good for you kid...I am glad he told the parents...it hurt him a lot ...so much he never forgot it. My son still talks about the neighbor kid that bullied him ..one night he shot him in the face with an air gun...my son was so frightened ..he dashed in the front door...he was in 4th grade...and he never forgot it and still talks about it.

jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"From: Roxanna <MadIdeasaol (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) Telling other kids Date: Friday, 18 September, 2009, 1:19 PM I would just explain to the girls what part of the "game" is upsettingGregor. I used to "speak for" my older ds because he wouldn't talk topeople. So a lot of times I would just state what it was=20that wasbothering him abou something. And also encourage Gregor to learn howto speak up for himself. Practice with him - role play - how to say,"I don't like playing this game because..." Roxanna"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to donothing." E.

Burke ( ) Telling other kidsanyone got anyhints on how to tell other kids?My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they geton like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great.The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in hisclass, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usuallythey are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son tochase the three of them and they hide in the play house and won't lethim in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregorcomes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without makinghim seem

really different, or do I just ask them to all playtogether?

[Guest guest]

It seems you could tell 6 yr olds that they have to take turns " chasing. " That

would be encouraging their play, but would not always leave your son outside the

playhouse. It is too easy for NTs to always make our children the ones that

everyone else is running away from! If they want to play the game, insist that

some one else also experience the feeling of being left alone outside the

playhouse.

Good Luck!

>

> Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?

> My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on

like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem

is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started

playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But

their favourite game is for my son to chase the three of them and they hide in

the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice

in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.

> How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem

really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?

>

[Guest guest]

Reminds me of a kid we knew when was 3-4 years old. He was our next-door

neighbor and thought he was THE BEST. called him " My Hero " for a

while. But this kid was not nice. He always wanted to play tag knowing that

couldn't catch him. Then EVERYTHING became " base " . was fairly

good-natured about it at the time. He wasn't getting that he was being teased.

This kid could see was vulnerable, a perfect victim who couldn't tell his

side of what happened.

One day when I wasn't home this kid and his mom came over and my husband let

them in for a while. The boys were playing in our " jump-o-lene " (inflatable

thing but not a bounce house,nowhere near as expensive). Apparently,

punched the boy. Nobody saw what the kid did to and I didn't find out

until bath time. had a perfect human child bite on his shoulder which

looked like it drew blood. I asked , " What is that on your shoulder? How

did you get that? " He answered, " Liam did that before I hit him. " had

never bitten anyone prior to this but he started doing it thanks to this rotten

kid.

still didn't get this kid was mean. He would sneak up and hit and

have all the kids run away from him. decked him for it one day right in

front of his mother. Of course this looked like going berserk for no

reason. Later I found out Liam had hit him on the butt and had planned everyone

to run from him. It was so sad. I hated it. STILL didn't get it.

One day Liam told us, " isn't allowed in our yard because he starts fights. "

Lovely. wanted to play with him. I said, " Oh, okay, we'll go somewhere

else and play. " The kid tried to take back what he'd said.

Another day the kid said, " I'm not allowed to bring out my baseball because my

dad said might go crazy and throw it through the window. " Yeah this wasn't

just about the kid.

The final thing that made get it... My husband was outside washing the car

and wanted to be out there. I told my husband, " Don't let him go to Liam's

house. " A bit later my husband came in and said, " I thought you should know

is at Liam's house. " I ran out of the house as fast as my legs would

allow. By the time I got there was jumping around trying to get a turn

with a ball. There were about 10 kids there because they were having a party.

was only 4 and totally couldn't get that he would be perceived as trying to

take the ball from them. I heard Liam yell, " Hit him with the ball, hit him

with the ball! " started crying and he knew. He knew Liam was mean and his

heart was completely broken.

I picked up and walked away. As we were walking I heard Liam shout, " Baby,

baby " . I was holding as he wailed and said in a loud voice so he could

hear me, " this is why I don't like you to come over here, these kids don't

play nicely! " I was right next to a bunch of parents who all scrambled to see

what was going on. LOL. I didn't intend for them to hear this, I was focused

on . A few seconds later I hear Liam say, " I didn't do nuthin'! " Whatever.

I'd have been more sympathetic if he hadn't shouted " baby baby " at us. Poor

. He was so angry he drew this picture in red and black pen and you could

just feel the anger.

was never friends with Liam after that and we had many nasty run-ins with

the parents. The mom always said things like, " My son would NEVER do that. "

Avoid this type of parent. They are delusional. The mom told me, " Your kid is

the one with the problem. " I made a mistake in telling her about having him

evaluated for autism. We've never had so much trouble with anyone else but

these parents were immature and stupid. I did my best to supervise and keep

things from happening because wanted to play with this kid so badly, but

even when I was RIGHT THERE it couldn't be prevented.

One day the boys had their super soakers out. The label says not to shoot

people at close range or in the face. This kid shot right in the face from

about 5 inches away. 's lip bled. tried to exact revenge and I did my

best to prevent it. Then Liam's MOM got mad and acted like was the one who

was being mean. I showed her 's lip and she wouldn't believe the super

soaker DID that. GRRRR.

Oh well, we moved and we don't have to deal with them any more and I'm sure

they're just as happy about that as we are.

Miriam

> >

> > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?

> > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on

like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem

is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started

playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But

their favourite game is for my son to chase the three of them and they hide in

the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice

in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.

> > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him

seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I tend to agree with you, Lorraine. I do see the benefit in trying more than

once if there seems any potential for anything positive but there is a limit.

Helping your child learn to say " no " is also very valuable. He learns what is

right and learns his own limits and learns to advocate for himself. It all

depends on the kids, the parents, the situation and it can be quite complicated.

Miriam

> > >

> > > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?

> > > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on

like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem

is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started

playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But

their favourite game is for my son to chase the three of them and they hide in

the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice

in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.

> > > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him

seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

ROFL. Yeah, my husband has some asperger traits too and I think he also has

some ODD (oppositional defiance). He just CAN'T seem to take direction. My son

has actually surpassed my husband in some social skill things. Well, dad has

had asperger traits since birth but didn't have anyone around him who got it

until my son had his dx. My son has been getting help from me since he was born

so it makes sense that he would eventually learn things that are not so easy for

my husband.

Miriam

>

> Yes, and don't even get me started on my husband.......

> Re: ( ) Re: Telling other kids

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yeah, gets a little from me and a little from dad. has some attention

issues and sensory issues. Those come from me. The asperger syndrome and

extreme braininess comes from dad. Actually, I think my husband might be

undersensitive to sensory input and is like that too. I have some tactile

defensiveness and I flap my hands though I didn't realize it until very recently

when my husband said, " you've always done that " . I'm just more aware of it now

thanks to . I'm better at the intuitive social things and at problem

solving.

We have a laugh. My husband thinks we SHOULD live in a posh house but of course

with me and the kids around he can have nothing nice. LOL. He used to be very

unpleasant about what he considers my " inefficient " behavior. I don't get much

done, housework takes me longer than it takes other people and I need more

breaks and I can easily lose track of what I'm doing or get hyperfocused on a

tiny detail. One day I told him, " I think I have dyspraxia. " He said, " Well,

I'd like to have that confirmed by a neurologist. " so I said, " Sure, if you

want to pay for a neurologist, I'm all for it. " Our insurance paid for it so it

didn't cost more than about $15. The neurologist said, " Yes, this is much like

the clumsiness you son with asperger syndrome experiences. It isn't your fault,

it isn't anything to worry about and isn't progressive. " I said, " Can I have

that in writing to show to my husband? " He wrote it for me and my husband has

been MUCH MORE understanding since then.

Hubby still has this thing about people not being " mindful " . I accidentally

knocked a chair in the basement when I walked past it and it ended up in a spot

where my husband didn't expect it. He thinks he should be able to walk from the

garage into the basement and up the stairs in the dark without encountering

objects. So he was hoppin' ass mad at me for nearly causing his demise. Yes,

he ALMOST KILLED HIMSELF FALLING AND WHAT IF HE'D HIT HIS HEAD HE'D BE DEAD AND

THEN WHERE WOULD WE BE!!! LOL. Anyway, if I bump something I don't necessarily

register that I've bumped it, I just can't. I was cleaning some stuff in the

basement and I must have bumped into it while carrying something else and there

is NO WAY IN HELL I'd ever have known if he hadn't had a meltdown over it. He

said I wasn't very " mindful " to which I replied, " Well, ADD is pretty much the

DEFINITION of a lack of mindfulness! " I can't HELP it. Turn on the stupid

LIGHTS next time! GAHHH!

, my lovely and wonderful kid with asperger syndrome, really is just the

sweetest child. He usually explains me to dad because he is more capable of the

social skills that requires. " Dad, mom just said that because she's really

tired. " " Mom wants you to let her know you're leaving the house because she

worries about you when you leave and she doesn't know where you are or why you

left. " All my hard work is paying off in a big way!

Miriam

> >

> > Yes, and don't even get me started on my husband..... ..

> > Re: ( ) Re: Telling other kids

> >

> >

> >

>