Re: Ten Great Points and how they hit home today!

[Guest guest]

Good luck to your son! I hope he does great at his new job. I think all of your patience is being rewarded. :)SuzanneSent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: "Mimi" <sue@...>Sender: Date: Fri, 01 Oct 2010 12:38:08 -0000< >Reply Subject: ( ) Ten Great Points and how they hit home today! I loved your list, it was so well written and today, Number 2 hit home so perfectly:After 16 months of intense searching, 75 applications, 16 unsuccessful interviews, son got hired at the new Volkswagen plant in their food service dept. (He has vocational training for culinary!) My total excitement was tempered with my " worry button " that clicked on immediately. How will he get up? Will he understand what to do? and on and on...but I never could have anticipated this one. Today, first day on new job, one hour into work, phone rings and it is him. He whispers throatily in the phone, " Mom, I can't pee! I can't do the drug screen. " Of all the stuff I worried about, somehow I missed THIS ONE! I knew he was nervous because he takes meds for ADD but we had Dr. name, presc. etc all written down. I told him to take a deep breath, run some water, and yes he COULD do it!We are just so grateful that he has been hired! It has truly been a nightmare. He decided he did not want job coach so going it alone at least at first. Sue in TN> There are so many difficulties raising a child with Aspergers.> > 1. Your friends don't understand your problems or stress....for instance...I have a teenagers...and my friends always tell me ...oh he is just a typical teenagers...we all have that problem....but they don't. I end up not talking to them about it as they can never realize how much harder it is to raise a teen with AS.> > 2. Worry...the worry for your child...what does the future hold. Will he be able to function and hold down a job and take care of himself.> > 3. Pain...the pain you have knowing your child has no friends or loses friends easily. The pain knowing your child feels different. The pain knowing your child has been bullied or teased.> > 4. Fustration because teachers don't understand your child and the way he thinks. > > 5. Frightened because your child is ANGRY! and won't talk to you...won't tell you what is going on...> > 6. Horrified that he/she may be misunderstood and end up in legal trouble.> > 7. Tired...tired from all the battles...battles with the school, battles at home doing homework....> > 8. Depressed because I feel I can not help him. Depressed that he can not enjoy the things others do such as going to a dance or joining the swim team. > > 9. Sad because I love him so much and his life is hard and he is angry and depressed.> > 10. Hopeless at times until I connect with others on this site and know I am not the only one feeling this way.> > " In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity " Albert Einstein> > Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position> > > > > > > From: dani_gallagher83 <Dmgallagher83@...>> > Sent: Sun, September 26, 2010 10:16:48 AM> Subject: ( ) Re: Question for you all> > > > The biggest challenges in regards to raising my son (7 y/o w/AS & ADHD) has been actually getting people..... whether it be family members, school officials or my friends to actually believe that my son has AS. They just don't 'see it' so it can't be so. Another challenge is the stress. I have found that not many of those around me can understand or relate to what I'm dealing with (as a single mom, mother of AS child, full time student), so really talking to them for stress relief is kind of pointless. > > Congrats at school! Keep at it! I'm only 2 semesters from garduating with a B.A. in Psych > > le> > > >> > I am the parent of a 12yo son with AS. Currently, I am half-way through getting my Bachelor's Degree> in Psychology. For a paper I am writing currently, would any of you be willing to share some of the major challenges you face raising a child with this type of disorder. Challenges can be within your home and without (educational settings, problems with doctors, taking them out in public, etc).> > > > I would truly appreciate any help that anyone is willing to offer. If you would like to respond privately, please use my email address listed to do so. Responses on the group site are fine with me as well, if allowed.> > > > Thanks again for the all help and advice you have provided to me since I joined this group!> > > > Angi Clifton> >>

[Guest guest]

Great news, Sue! Keep us updated on how it goes!

From: Mimi <sue@...> Sent: Fri, October 1, 2010 7:38:08 AMSubject: ( ) Ten Great Points and how they hit home today!

I loved your list, it was so well written and today, Number 2 hit home so perfectly:After 16 months of intense searching, 75 applications, 16 unsuccessful interviews, son got hired at the new Volkswagen plant in their food service dept. (He has vocational training for culinary!) My total excitement was tempered with my "worry button" that clicked on immediately. How will he get up? Will he understand what to do? and on and on...but I never could have anticipated this one. Today, first day on new job, one hour into work, phone rings and it is him. He whispers throatily in the phone, "Mom, I can't pee! I can't do the drug screen." Of all the stuff I worried about, somehow I missed THIS ONE! I knew he was nervous because he takes meds for ADD but we had Dr. name, presc. etc all written down. I told him to take a deep breath, run some water, and yes he COULD do it!We are just so grateful that he has been hired! It has truly been a

nightmare. He decided he did not want job coach so going it alone at least at first. Sue in TN> There are so many difficulties raising a child with Aspergers.> > 1. Your friends don't understand your problems or stress....for instance...I have a teenagers...and my friends always tell me ...oh he is just a typical teenagers...we all have that problem....but they don't. I end up not talking to them about it as they can never realize how much harder it is to raise a teen with AS.> > 2. Worry...the worry for your child...what does the future hold. Will he be able to function and hold down a job and take care of himself.> > 3. Pain...the pain you have knowing your child has no friends or loses friends easily. The pain knowing your child feels different. The pain knowing your child has been bullied or teased.> > 4. Fustration because teachers don't understand your child and the way he

thinks. > > 5. Frightened because your child is ANGRY! and won't talk to you...won't tell you what is going on...> > 6. Horrified that he/she may be misunderstood and end up in legal trouble.> > 7. Tired...tired from all the battles...battles with the school, battles at home doing homework....> > 8. Depressed because I feel I can not help him. Depressed that he can not enjoy the things others do such as going to a dance or joining the swim team. > > 9. Sad because I love him so much and his life is hard and he is angry and depressed.> > 10. Hopeless at times until I connect with others on this site and know I am not the only one feeling this way.> > "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein> > Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position> > >

> > > > From: dani_gallagher83 <Dmgallagher83@...>> > Sent: Sun, September 26, 2010 10:16:48 AM> Subject: ( ) Re: Question for you all> > > > The biggest challenges in regards to raising my son (7 y/o w/AS & ADHD) has been actually getting people..... whether it be family members, school officials or my friends to actually believe that my son has AS. They just don't 'see it' so it can't be so. Another challenge is the stress. I have found that not many of those around me can understand or relate to what I'm dealing with (as a single mom, mother of AS child, full time student), so really talking to them for stress relief is kind of pointless. > > Congrats at school! Keep

at it! I'm only 2 semesters from garduating with a B.A. in Psych > > le> > > >> > I am the parent of a 12yo son with AS. Currently, I am half-way through getting my Bachelor's Degree> in Psychology. For a paper I am writing currently, would any of you be willing to share some of the major challenges you face raising a child with this type of disorder. Challenges can be within your home and without (educational settings, problems with doctors, taking them out in public, etc).> > > > I would truly appreciate any help that anyone is willing to offer. If you would like to respond privately, please use my email address listed to do so. Responses on the group site are fine

with me as well, if allowed.> > > > Thanks again for the all help and advice you have provided to me since I joined this group!> > > > Angi Clifton> >>

[Guest guest]

It went terrible, he was fired before he started. They sent him for drug screen.

Son was prepared because he takes a med for ADD that shows up positive. He gave

screener a piece of paper with the presciption, docs name and phone. But

screener told employer it would show up positive on drug screen and would take a

couple of days (what ever that means) so employer said in that case there is no

job and left. Told him to try back in December, " maybe an opening. "

How can they do this??? I was so upset. Son had decided to not use job coach

during training. Don't know if it would help. He has trouble peeing anyway on

command and after he was just fired, he couldn't do it.

I am so upset...

Sue inTN

> > >

> > > I am the parent of a 12yo son with AS. Currently, I am half-way through

> >getting my Bachelor's Degree

> > in Psychology. For a paper I am writing currently, would any of you be

willing

> >to share some of the major challenges you face raising a child with this type

of

> >disorder. Challenges can be within your home and without (educational

settings,

> >problems with doctors, taking them out in public, etc).

> > >

> > > I would truly appreciate any help that anyone is willing to offer. If you

> >would like to respond privately, please use my email address listed to do so.

> >Responses on the group site are fine with me as well, if allowed.

> > >

> > > Thanks again for the all help and advice you have provided to me since I

> >joined this group!

> > >

> > > Angi Clifton

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I just got some additional info from Voc Rehab...they talked to this guy.

Apparently, sthe drug test guy said it WOULD come back positive so they would

have to send it off and that would take four days and the company had to have

someone to work TODAY, so he sent son home and hired someone else. He did say,

according to Voc REhab, that he really liked son and his attitude and for him to

get back with him in December. Wow, how generous! I just can't believe they

could not hold off for 3 or 4 days. I wonder though if the call me back was just

a CYA move.

So even though son did EVERYTHING right, he even had doctor name, prescription

number etc. on a piece of paper, even doc's cell phone, none of that worked. I

wonder what the laws are on drug tests too.

sue in Tn

> > > >

> > > > I am the parent of a 12yo son with AS. Currently, I am half-way through

> > >getting my Bachelor's Degree

> > > in Psychology. For a paper I am writing currently, would any of you be

willing

> > >to share some of the major challenges you face raising a child with this

type of

> > >disorder. Challenges can be within your home and without (educational

settings,

> > >problems with doctors, taking them out in public, etc).

> > > >

> > > > I would truly appreciate any help that anyone is willing to offer. If

you

> > >would like to respond privately, please use my email address listed to do

so.

> > >Responses on the group site are fine with me as well, if allowed.

> > > >

> > > > Thanks again for the all help and advice you have provided to me since I

> > >joined this group!

> > > >

> > > > Angi Clifton

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Sue, hooray for the job! And, yeah, that hit home, poor guy! Glad he could

call you and you could talk him through it.

>

> I loved your list, it was so well written and today, Number 2 hit home so

perfectly:

>

> After 16 months of intense searching, 75 applications, 16 unsuccessful

interviews, son got hired at the new Volkswagen plant in their food service

dept. (He has vocational training for culinary!) My total excitement was

tempered with my " worry button " that clicked on immediately. How will he get up?

Will he understand what to do? and on and on...but I never could have

anticipated this

[Guest guest]

Well, crap, I just got through saying hooray. I don't understand that either.

I really don't. Had he met this " employer " before today? I would be wanting

to call their human resources dept and ask about it. I'm so sorry. (((hugs)))

to you both!

>

> It went terrible, he was fired before he started. They sent him for drug

screen. Son was prepared because he takes a med for ADD that shows up positive.

He gave screener a piece of paper with the presciption, docs name and phone. But

screener told employer it would show up positive on drug screen and would take a

couple of days (what ever that means) so employer said in that case there is no

job and left. Told him to try back in December, " maybe an opening. "

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your input. I had DS send him a note today saying he was anxious to

work. Employer told Voc Rehab it was because he had to have someone to work THAT

DAY and so just went on to the next guy. So what happens if that guy come in and

gets sick, he's fired? He and son seem to have a good rapport, on just the one

interview. I also find it hard to believe that if he liked son and his attitude

as much as he let on to Voc Rehab, he wouldn't keep him hangining for several

months. I think he was just blowing smoke up their you know what to say that...I

wonder about someone's planning skill too if they have no more idea than that

(in that type work) that would have such an urgent need. Do you think son should

send him any kind of info on why he takes ADD meds and how he focuses better, or

just drop it?

Thanks again.

Sue in TN

> > > >

> > > > I am the parent of a 12yo son with AS. Currently, I am half-way through

> > >getting my Bachelor's Degree

> > > in Psychology. For a paper I am writing currently, would any of you be

willing

> > >to share some of the major challenges you face raising a child with this

type of

> > >disorder. Challenges can be within your home and without (educational

settings,

> > >problems with doctors, taking them out in public, etc).

> > > >

> > > > I would truly appreciate any help that anyone is willing to offer. If

you

> > >would like to respond privately, please use my email address listed to do

so.

> > >Responses on the group site are fine with me as well, if allowed.

> > > >

> > > > Thanks again for the all help and advice you have provided to me since I

> > >joined this group!

> > > >

> > > > Angi Clifton

> > > >

> > >

> >

>