Guest guest Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 How horrible, Nora. Would you mind explaining a bit more? Robin From: Nora <nxh1961@...>Subject: ( ) I feel horrible Date: Wednesday, November 18, 2009, 11:57 AM We had a horrible weekend. My beautiful grandson was witness to some very negative family dynamics. he is 4 yrs old. Now he is acting out terribly. i feel so guilty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 Not sure about the details but we are all human beings and we do the best we can. My son witnessed some horrific exchanges when he was younger too and after some time passed, I would talk with him about it. Normally he wouldn't want to talk too much, but I would reassure him that nothing that happened was his fault, that I loved him, and that it wasn't fair he had to see/hear anything he had to see/hear. I didn't always have answers, but those key things I'd say to him repeatedly. "Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out." From: Nora <nxh1961@...> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 11:57:40 AMSubject: ( ) I feel horrible We had a horrible weekend. My beautiful grandson was witness to some very negative family dynamics. he is 4 yrs old. Now he is acting out terribly. i feel so guilty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2009 Report Share Posted November 19, 2009 Don't feel guilty! Just don't let him back in to that situation the next time. And help him get past it now! Roxanna " The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. " E. Burke ( ) I feel horrible We had a horrible weekend. My beautiful grandson was witness to some very negative family dynamics. he is 4 yrs old. Now he is acting out terribly. i feel so guilty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2009 Report Share Posted November 19, 2009 It might be a good idea, when all has settled down a bit and your grandson isn't there, to request that everyone exhibit self-control in the future and arrange for a time and place to discuss the issue further when 'innocent bystanders' aren't present. They could be told/reminded about the effect on this little boy. His needs must come first, before those of the adults who feel a need to 'vent'. I agree with another person who posted who said that it's important to simply explain to, and reassure, your grandson that sometimes people make mistakes/don't make good choices/etc. (whatever fits your situation), but that they all love him and whatever happened wasn't his fault and doesn't affect anyone's feelings/love for him, etc. Ideally, everyone involved would do the same for him, so he has the reassurance of everyone who had a part in the negative situation. If he mentions it in the future, address it as often as it takes until he feels assured. Depending how he is acting out, you can address it appropriately as each situation arises. It's obvious that you care deeply about your grandson or you wouldn't have posted this! I think everyone has felt bad about something they wish they had or hadn't said or done in their lives. We can't go back, only forward. I don't know if any of this would help in your situation or not without knowing more details; but hopefully, it can serve as a starting point. Best wishes for you, your grandson, and everyone else involved. -Kari > > We had a horrible weekend. My beautiful grandson was witness to some very negative family dynamics. he is 4 yrs old. Now he is acting out terribly. i feel so guilty. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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