frustrated

November 16, 2000

Hi everyone,

I would be really grateful for any input on this. I've been on MTX for

2 years now--- along with folic acid , oruvail, synthroid, also EPO . This

all seemed to start about 15 years ago when I developed hyperthyroidism. I

spent the better part of a year on meds to reduce thyroid levels, was ok for

another year, and then the thyroid completely stopped functioning---enter

synthroid. I developed P about 6 yrs ago, along with a couple bad spells

with my neck and low back. Then 2 1/2 yrs ago, started flaring in my srist,

hip and toe. That's when the PA was diagnosed. Up till the last few months,

I have always had pretty low BP---never higher than 110/60. Also, I never

had significantly high lipid levels. TILL NOW.... Last winter I tried VIOXX

for about 6 months and it worked really well for the pain, but I noticed my

BP was slowly on the rise. I have a really bad family hx for CAD, so my RD

put me back on oruvail.

I am 52, admittedly overweight by 30# or so, and now struggling with

hypertension and hyperlipidemia (chol= 270 and triglycerides and LDL really

high. I have been trying really hard to get it down with diet. Walking is

really my only exercise as everything else seems to flare the PA. It is

now time to add to more meds to the " chemical stew " in my body. I am

starting to have " liver nightmares " like the old Monty Python movies ( " I've

come for your liver " )

My question is--- is this just the result of bad genes and excess weight,

OR, has anyone else had similar responses to any of the wonder meds???????

I really am working overtime trying to keep a positive attitude right now

and am starting to feel pharmaceutical phobic....... I could just stop

eating and lay all the pills on a plate and call it breakfast!!!!!!

in (snowing) Wisconsin

November 17, 2000

, I have some experience with thyroid issues, drugs and

arthritis. I was diagnosed with PA about 18 years ago at the ripe

age of 10-11 when my fingers started to swell. I've had the P for as

long as I can remember. i currently take synthroid, celebrex, MTX,

zantac, tylenol and on occasion xanax. Until recently I was also

taking alternating between flexeril and valium for my back and I just

took myself off prozac a few weeks ago.

While a senior in college, I was diagnosed with Graves disease. My

thyroxin levels were like 200 times the high limit on the chart. I

had no appetite at all and lost a ridiculous amount of weight, i'm

talking about 40 lbs or so) i almost completely stopped sleeping and

I had a resting heart rate of 120. Lets not even get into what it

did to me psychologically. i can only say for sure that i'm

currently sane because I've been on the other side of the fence!!! I

lost most of my friends that year. or should i say, I got rid of

them. i was a much different person for those few months.

AND OH OH OH.... i had the worst heartburn ever for the first time

in my life, and having been a smoker at the time (i finally quit 5

years ago), I was convinced i was dying of lung cancer. I was sure

of it. That was the only conclusion i could come to with all that

was going wrong. I refused to go home for months. I almost missed

my own grandma's funeral which happened to have been on my 22nd b'day

because I refused to answer the phone for weeks on end.

Point is, your problems with PA and your thyroid are both autoimmune

problems with triggers or problems in the genes. I was actually just

told (i'll get more info) that 91% of people with graves disease had

a parent with it also. I was adopted so i can't contribute further

here.

Environment may help trigger these things, but there is something in

the genes that at the very least allows it to happen. " They " still

arent sure. i just read this week that a new study showed that

coffee drinkers were 4 times as likely to develop rheumatoid

arthritis. But i cant believe that being 30lbs overweight caused

your PA or your thyroid to go nuts. The medical community just

realized the autoimmune connection a few years ago. I can avow that

a flare up in my PA is usually a harbinger of things to come.

It seems like my " whole system " goes nuts at once.

good luck & be well,

Ari in ny

January 11, 2002

In a message dated 01/09/2002 4:51:38 PM Eastern Standard Time,

nuttydenise@... writes:

> Does not think will even try Enbrel cause we have MS in the family

- I still stick with my original theory that it is not right to say

that Enbrel shows increase cases of MS. Yes, there may be more cases of MS

in Enbrel takers than non-Enbrel takers BUT ... MS is an autoimmune disorder,

RA is an autoimmune disorder, PA is an autoimmune disorder AND it's been

proven that if you have an autoimmune disorder, the chances are greater that

you will have another autoimmune disorder. So I think that more people who

have PA or RA have a chance to get MS regardless of what drugs they take. I

would like to see more information on this MS/Enbrel link and if the

researchers took that into consideration. If anyone knows where I could find

out, I'd appreciate it.

So all that being said, maybe Enbrel would still be appropriate for you.

It's done much more for me than MTX ever did and without any side effects.

take care,

March 8, 2005

Hi

Yes - a waiting game.

It might not work, however I have managed with some consultants to make

contact with them prior to a first consultation and ask if any tests of

previous results would be of interest. In fact prior to my seen a new

consultant last October I sent him 4 years of blood tests and at the

consultation he smiled and said " I've done my homework " showing me he had

checked all the blood test results.

Many specialist eg Teaching Hospitals like to do there own blood tests as

this varies from centre to centre.

Why not write to the consultant endocrinologist now and say how long you

have been waiting to fine a good endocrinologist and wish to work with

him/her so as to not delay diagnosis and treatment. Ask if there are any

blood tests you could have done prior to May so that at your first

appointment you can discuss actual blood test results.

Worth a try: Nothing ventured nothing gained, as they say!

Good luck

_________________________________________

Randle

_________________________________________

Frustrated

>

> This is great. So, I found a good doctor, but I can't get in to see

> him until May 5.

>

> This is going to mess with my head, all I know is I have low T, lots

> left to look at before I can start some sort of treatment. The way I

> see this, it's two months before I can see the doctor, then more time

> to run tests, then time to settle on the treatment that works for

> me. It's going to be mid-summer before I feel better.

>

> Just venting, but I figured a bunch of you have been through this

> same BS.

>

March 8, 2005

Hi -

That's good advice, in fact, I had done just that about an hour after I posted

that message. I called my gp, she is calling the endo, getting him the results

we have to date, then lining up whatever additional bloodwork he wants, and

possibly an MRI.

I really don't like waiting this long, I want to get moving and start feeling

better, but at least I can be as prepared as possbile when I get there, so we

can get on with things.

Thanks again.

-Todd

Randle <peter_randle@...> wrote:

Hi

Yes - a waiting game.

It might not work, however I have managed with some consultants to make

contact with them prior to a first consultation and ask if any tests of

previous results would be of interest. In fact prior to my seen a new

consultant last October I sent him 4 years of blood tests and at the

consultation he smiled and said " I've done my homework " showing me he had

checked all the blood test results.

Many specialist eg Teaching Hospitals like to do there own blood tests as

this varies from centre to centre.

Why not write to the consultant endocrinologist now and say how long you

have been waiting to fine a good endocrinologist and wish to work with

him/her so as to not delay diagnosis and treatment. Ask if there are any

blood tests you could have done prior to May so that at your first

appointment you can discuss actual blood test results.

Worth a try: Nothing ventured nothing gained, as they say!

Good luck

_________________________________________

Randle

_________________________________________

Frustrated

>

> This is great. So, I found a good doctor, but I can't get in to see

> him until May 5.

>

> This is going to mess with my head, all I know is I have low T, lots

> left to look at before I can start some sort of treatment. The way I

> see this, it's two months before I can see the doctor, then more time

> to run tests, then time to settle on the treatment that works for

> me. It's going to be mid-summer before I feel better.

>

> Just venting, but I figured a bunch of you have been through this

> same BS.

>

March 9, 2005

This seems so common. It took me 3 months for my first

appointment, and I was told it would be 4 months when

I first setup for my initial appointment. It does play

with your head knowing there is something wrong with

yourself and it seems there is nothing you can do for

that length of time. I suggest you learn all you can

in that time and become educated in this medical

problem so you might better understand when you do get

in what is going on. Print out and take a copy of the

AACE on Hypogonadism with you to the endo. I would

also suggest you call the endo and ask if they can put

you on a cancelation list in case someone drops their

appointment so you might get in earlier. Also ask if

there is any blood test you can get done before your

initial appointmentas to save a few extra weeks and an

extra Dr visit.

--- aliveagain67 <aliveagain67@...> wrote:

>

> This is great. So, I found a good doctor, but I

> can't get in to see

> him until May 5.

>

> This is going to mess with my head, all I know is I

> have low T, lots

> left to look at before I can start some sort of

> treatment. The way I

> see this, it's two months before I can see the

> doctor, then more time

> to run tests, then time to settle on the treatment

> that works for

> me. It's going to be mid-summer before I feel

> better.

>

> Just venting, but I figured a bunch of you have been

> through this

> same BS.

>

__________________________________

Celebrate 's 10th Birthday!

Netrospective: 100 Moments of the Web

http://birthday./netrospective/

March 9, 2005

Hi -

Already on the cancellation list.

I'm going to see my gp next week, I want e2 tested, also think I should do

ferritin. To date, I've had one total T test, also tested TSH, LH, Prolactin

and FSH.

What else do you think I should have checked before I get to the endo? I'd like

to walk in there with as much info as possible.

-Todd

<huckfor1@...> wrote:

This seems so common. It took me 3 months for my first

appointment, and I was told it would be 4 months when

I first setup for my initial appointment. It does play

with your head knowing there is something wrong with

yourself and it seems there is nothing you can do for

that length of time. I suggest you learn all you can

in that time and become educated in this medical

problem so you might better understand when you do get

in what is going on. Print out and take a copy of the

AACE on Hypogonadism with you to the endo. I would

also suggest you call the endo and ask if they can put

you on a cancelation list in case someone drops their

appointment so you might get in earlier. Also ask if

there is any blood test you can get done before your

initial appointmentas to save a few extra weeks and an

extra Dr visit.

--- aliveagain67 <aliveagain67@...> wrote:

>

> This is great. So, I found a good doctor, but I

> can't get in to see

> him until May 5.

>

> This is going to mess with my head, all I know is I

> have low T, lots

> left to look at before I can start some sort of

> treatment. The way I

> see this, it's two months before I can see the

> doctor, then more time

> to run tests, then time to settle on the treatment

> that works for

> me. It's going to be mid-summer before I feel

> better.

>

> Just venting, but I figured a bunch of you have been

> through this

> same BS.

>

__________________________________

Celebrate 's 10th Birthday!

Netrospective: 100 Moments of the Web

http://birthday./netrospective/

March 9, 2005

On Tue, 08 Mar 2005 18:35:28 -0000, you wrote:

>

>This is great. So, I found a good doctor, but I can't get in to see

>him until May 5.

>

>This is going to mess with my head, all I know is I have low T, lots

>left to look at before I can start some sort of treatment. The way I

>see this, it's two months before I can see the doctor, then more time

>to run tests, then time to settle on the treatment that works for

>me. It's going to be mid-summer before I feel better.

I think you're right. Use the time to get all the right tests done so

the Doctor has information he needs and you're not waiting more weeks

for tests and results. T, Free T, Fsh, LH, E2, SHBG at a minimum.

Also some thyroid tests.

Others tests would wait to see if T is actually low. If it is they

should do prolactin and feritin. Hang on.

- - - -

Just another albino black sheep

March 9, 2005

On Wed, 9 Mar 2005 04:04:10 -0800 (PST), you wrote:

>This seems so common. It took me 3 months for my first

>appointment, and I was told it would be 4 months when

>I first setup for my initial appointment. It does play

>with your head knowing there is something wrong with

>yourself and it seems there is nothing you can do for

>that length of time.

Just venting, but I'm in an over stressed HMO. It took me about 4

weeks to get them to make an appointment. Not that the appointment was

4 weeks away, but their doctors were booked solid and they we're

TALKING about referring me out. But none of their meetings ever got

far enough to reach me on the agenda, and they kept saying we'll make

a decision at in a couple days or next weeks meeting. Finally I

stormed into their office and said they better make an appointment

right then and there. They sent me to an in house internist instead of

the endo. (I'd already had low T confirmed.) So I killed a couple

months with him before he said I needed to see an endo. He did order

the right tests and get the ball rolling, but waiting a month just to

schedule an appointment weeks out also. Sheesh.

- - - -

Just another albino black sheep

March 9, 2005

Hi Todd,

The HRT doc I now see really impressed me in advance: his

staff mailed me an order for the tests he wanted, so results were

there at my first visit.

How does this sound? Call your GP. Tell him/her it takes a long

time to get appointments with the endo, and you want to help

move things faster (GPs already know it takes a long time to get

an appointment with an endo). Ask him to call the endo to see

what kind of tests results the endo would like to have available at

your first appointment. The GP is going to be drawing blood

before then, and it's a simple matter to add the tests.

Bruce

> >

> > This is great. So, I found a good doctor, but I

> > can't get in to see

> > him until May 5.

> >

> > This is going to mess with my head, all I know is I

> > have low T, lots

> > left to look at before I can start some sort of

> > treatment. The way I

> > see this, it's two months before I can see the

> > doctor, then more time

> > to run tests, then time to settle on the treatment

> > that works for

> > me. It's going to be mid-summer before I feel

> > better.

> >

> > Just venting, but I figured a bunch of you have been

> > through this

> > same BS.

August 20, 2008

You're young I can understand your relectuance to try the biologics; however,

long-term use of prednisone can do so much damage to your body, you might at

least consult with your rheumy and discuss the pros and cons - what she thinks.

I am much older than you but my rheumy put me right on Enbrel and it has worked

wonders for me.

Joanna Hoelscher

January 4, 2010

Perhaps it doesn't matter the diagnosis. Some kids with Bipolar

have issues with socializing just as kids with AS do. Some kids

with Bipolar have similar cognitive/learning issues as some

kids with AS. Some kids with Bipolar though are very social and

do well in school when there moods are under control.

I think looking at the symptoms you want to address is helpful too.

If he is Bipolar he needs his sleep and moods stablized as a first

step I think. If that is not under control your life is just

very difficult. My AS daughter does not have mood swings but she

does have outbursts about 1 or twice a month.

I can control my daughter's behavior by limiting the computer

and TV time she has assess too. I work with a behaviorist.

The key to shaping behavior with explosive kids is to have the

consequence be small. In our case she earns TV time all day

long in 15 min increments. If she is yelling etc. She doesn't

earn for that hour segment 15 min of TV after school. According to

Yale University you don't have to use big punishments to change behavior. Hard

to believe right. Sometimes my daughter will

mock me and say who cares about 15 minutes. But is I am real

careful to allocate the blocks of time she does.

What if she won't get off the computer when I ask her too?

I don't get physical. When she is asleep I take the power

cord to the computer and hide it then she only

gets the computer when she has earned it the next day.

I don't escalate the punishment though. I don't say you don't

get it at all for not getting off. This would likely cause

an outrage. And according to Yale not helpful in shaping

calm cooperative behavior.

take care,

Pam

tude@...> wrote:

>

> Hi;

> I guess I just need to vent a little here with my son. We are not exactly

getting much help with him. He was diagnosed with bipolar about four years ago,

however he was never fully stable then back in the summer it was mentioned that

he may have mild to borderline Asp. A neuropsych and two psych have made this

comment one claims expert in the field. Our psychologist who also claims expert

says no he doesn't have it because his eye contact and IQ. Do to issues at

school we pulled him out to homeschool him? Long story short there we were just

told they didn't want him with his problems if we couldn't get them

undercontrol, we were also told that by two other schools as well.

>

> Home school itself has been great no problems there.

>

> However we do have problems that are so frustrating. One is his mouth, he has

such a terrible mouth he says words that we don't even speak. When asked about

it he says Robbie says them so he can. (Robbie is the neighbors 17 year old

grandson that lives with them. Also that lives with them is a daughter-in-law,

granddaughter and grandson from a different son, as well as a daughter and her

new baby. The house is crowded.) Robbie has been in alternative school, I think

juvie and everything else. We don't like my kids being around Robbie, but the

other little boy their age is the only one in the area for them to play with.

So, it is a no win situation. We try to explain but it goes on deaf ears.

>

> The next is that my son is rough. I mean when he tries to love on us he is

rough and hurts. He sees his Dad and he tackles him roughly to the point that he

has made my husbands back nearly go out more than once. We tell him not to be so

rough and he starts in that we hate him, because we tell him to be easy. Then

there are other times that he says he can do what he wants to and we can't do

anything about it.

>

> Last night I got so mad at him. One of the big rules in the house is no dishes

around the computer. I found hide behind the monitor, a dozen glasses, two

bowls, and I don't know how many forks and spoons. Since my oldest is always at

the computer I knew it was him. I told him he had to get them and put them in

the sink. He screamed and yelled he wasn't going to do it. I told him he

couldn't go to his grandmothers, he started screaming that we hated him because

we were making him do something. Huge fight he did finally pick up the biggest

part of the dishes, however I did find one glass almost knocked on the floor

this morning.

>

> Oh, and then there was this weekend. I was in " the classroom " on my computer

for a short bit to pay bills, I came back and it looked like he had took six

soda cans and poured them on the floor and I found ten open on the table. He has

this habit of opening one taking a drink, then open another. I get so frustrated

at that and have told them not to drink anymore if they can't finish. So, this

time I found this mess on the floor, I didn't feel good and was tired as I

hadn't been sleeping well at night. I told him he had to clean it up, he

screamed at me I hated him and I couldn't make him clean it up and he runs out

the door.

>

> We get that so much. We talk to the psychologist about that and this is when

she says take something away from him. Well, what do you take away from him when

nothing seems to be punishment for him. We have tried to take his grandmother

away, but what do you do when you need a babysitter and he is supposed to be

grounded from her. It doesn't seem to help much anyway, after an hour he is fine

with it and still will go against everything.

>

> I just get so tired of going behind him and cleaning up the same messes every

day. I mean he is 12 years old and it is just the same old thing every morning

the same spills the same, screaming and yelling, everything is the same and I

want to break this habit. There are some things that I would love to lock up

from him and give to him sparingly, but we have no place to put things. Our

house is actually way to small for our family, but with the bills we have for

him we can't afford anything else, so locking things up is hard. Then I think

how do we handle this when he gets old, we can't keep things away from him

forever.

>

> thanks,

> Karla

>

January 5, 2010

Thanks for the replies.

I have tried things like that. Don't work. Basically I don't care what he has, I just want to know how to parent him. As he gets older he is harder to manage as he gets bigger, but seems to be trapped in a one to two year old body. It is frustrating in the fact that we don't know how to deal with him. We have been going to the same psych for two years to try and get help and nothing has helped. In all these two years the last appointment I think it finally hit her. I have found that in the diagnosis it does make a difference you to treat this kids because the causes are different. Example: Asperger's I have read do better in group therapy where bipolar does better with one on one psychotherapy. We had him in group and we were seeing great results, the bad was that insurance decided all of a sudden for no reason that they were no longer going to pay that doctor and we had to leave her after we were getting some where. No one else does group within

300 miles. (We were told by this doctor that she had to drop almost half her patients because insurance wouldn't pay and some of them she had for a long time.) Now, we have a new psychatrist, the bad thing with her is that insurance will pay her, but not the meds, where the other they wouldn't pay her but would the meds. This one doesn't speak english and doesn't understand us we can't understand her. So, I'm not sure where that is going to go.

My son's mentality was that he doesn't see his Daddy enough, (yes he works all the time as I'm not able to work with my son's needs). However, he is home most nights during the week. We told this to the doctor, she asked my son how many hours he spend with his Dad, his answer was five hours a night. She asked him how many hours he wanted with his Dad, his responds was two hours. This is typical of his thinking. She asked about this, we told her that is how he is all the time and what we had been trying to tell her all this time. She didn't know what to say.

My son's perception of things are just I guess you would say backwards, which makes it very hard to direct him where he needs to go. He does not realize that his actions result in actions, etc. he is good he gets rewarded, he is bad he does not. He literally does not belief that he does things that he does. I have saw him stand and hit his brother, I get on to him and he is setting there looking me in the eye saying that he never touched him. He literally believes that he didn't do it.

It was determined sometime ago before we got a bipolar diagnosis that his reality and fantasy are confused. That he can not tell the difference, however again no one else has made mention of this and we don't know how to deal with this. We know that he also hears voices that tell him to do things as he has screamed at them and told me that they will not stop. Again we are told that doesn't happen with children. The new psychatrist says that because my son is not hypersexual then he can't have anything wrong with him. The best we could understand of her, she started reading from a book to us and she spoke so fast I only understood one phrase and I said he had that. She said well and that was it.

I'm mainly confused in all this. I just want to know how to parent my son so that we can have a peaceful and happy family. At this time it is total chaos and we struggle with different things that do not work. We have to keep our knives locked up or he will grab them and threaten himself when we say the smallest thing to him, like pick that toy up, don't hit your brother any more and rather than get better it seems to be getting worse as we keep changing psychatrist's only because insurance keeps dropping them. We are told that insurance will not pay for the meds if the doctor is not a provider, however they would not pay the last doctor and paid for the meds. This time it is right opposite and we know it isn't helping at all any of us we go to this psych for four - five months start getting somewhere and then insurance says they will not pay we have to find someone else.

Sorry to unload like this, I'm just frustrated and confused. We have just battled this for so long that I'm starting to loose hope.

Karla

January 11, 2010

What age is your son Karla ?

From: karla smith <llamattude@...>Subject: ( ) RE: Frustrated Date: Tuesday, January 5, 2010, 6:32 AM

Thanks for the replies.

I have tried things like that. Don't work. Basically I don't care what he has, I just want to know how to parent him. As he gets older he is harder to manage as he gets bigger, but seems to be trapped in a one to two year old body. It is frustrating in the fact that we don't know how to deal with him. We have been going to the same psych for two years to try and get help and nothing has helped. In all these two years the last appointment I think it finally hit her. I have found that in the diagnosis it does make a difference you to treat this kids because the causes are different. Example: Asperger's I have read do better in group therapy where bipolar does better with one on one psychotherapy. We had him in group and we were seeing great results, the bad was that insurance decided all of a sudden for no reason that they were no longer going to pay that doctor and we had to leave her after we were getting some where. No one else does group within

300 miles. (We were told by this doctor that she had to drop almost half her patients because insurance wouldn't pay and some of them she had for a long time.) Now, we have a new psychatrist, the bad thing with her is that insurance will pay her, but not the meds, where the other they wouldn't pay her but would the meds. This one doesn't speak english and doesn't understand us we can't understand her. So, I'm not sure where that is going to go.

My son's mentality was that he doesn't see his Daddy enough, (yes he works all the time as I'm not able to work with my son's needs). However, he is home most nights during the week. We told this to the doctor, she asked my son how many hours he spend with his Dad, his answer was five hours a night. She asked him how many hours he wanted with his Dad, his responds was two hours. This is typical of his thinking. She asked about this, we told her that is how he is all the time and what we had been trying to tell her all this time. She didn't know what to say.

My son's perception of things are just I guess you would say backwards, which makes it very hard to direct him where he needs to go. He does not realize that his actions result in actions, etc. he is good he gets rewarded, he is bad he does not. He literally does not belief that he does things that he does. I have saw him stand and hit his brother, I get on to him and he is setting there looking me in the eye saying that he never touched him. He literally believes that he didn't do it.

It was determined sometime ago before we got a bipolar diagnosis that his reality and fantasy are confused. That he can not tell the difference, however again no one else has made mention of this and we don't know how to deal with this. We know that he also hears voices that tell him to do things as he has screamed at them and told me that they will not stop. Again we are told that doesn't happen with children. The new psychatrist says that because my son is not hypersexual then he can't have anything wrong with him. The best we could understand of her, she started reading from a book to us and she spoke so fast I only understood one phrase and I said he had that. She said well and that was it.

I'm mainly confused in all this. I just want to know how to parent my son so that we can have a peaceful and happy family. At this time it is total chaos and we struggle with different things that do not work. We have to keep our knives locked up or he will grab them and threaten himself when we say the smallest thing to him, like pick that toy up, don't hit your brother any more and rather than get better it seems to be getting worse as we keep changing psychatrist's only because insurance keeps dropping them. We are told that insurance will not pay for the meds if the doctor is not a provider, however they would not pay the last doctor and paid for the meds. This time it is right opposite and we know it isn't helping at all any of us we go to this psych for four - five months start getting somewhere and then insurance says they will not pay we have to find someone else.

Sorry to unload like this, I'm just frustrated and confused. We have just battled this for so long that I'm starting to loose hope.

Karla

January 11, 2010

Karla- it sounds like you are living in my house. my autistic 11 year old has alot of the same issues. email me privately- i'd like to talk to you more. i am also wondering where you live-

From: Kate Stone <katesdishes@...> Sent: Mon, January 11, 2010 1:43:31 PMSubject: Re: ( ) RE: Frustrated

What age is your son Karla ?

From: karla smith <llamattude@bellsout h.net>Subject: ( ) RE: Frustrated Date: Tuesday, January 5, 2010, 6:32 AM

Thanks for the replies.

I have tried things like that. Don't work. Basically I don't care what he has, I just want to know how to parent him. As he gets older he is harder to manage as he gets bigger, but seems to be trapped in a one to two year old body. It is frustrating in the fact that we don't know how to deal with him. We have been going to the same psych for two years to try and get help and nothing has helped. In all these two years the last appointment I think it finally hit her. I have found that in the diagnosis it does make a difference you to treat this kids because the causes are different. Example: Asperger's I have read do better in group therapy where bipolar does better with one on one psychotherapy. We had him in group and we were seeing great results, the bad was that insurance decided all of a sudden for no reason that they were no longer going to pay that doctor and we had to leave her after we were getting some where. No one else does group within

300 miles. (We were told by this doctor that she had to drop almost half her patients because insurance wouldn't pay and some of them she had for a long time.) Now, we have a new psychatrist, the bad thing with her is that insurance will pay her, but not the meds, where the other they wouldn't pay her but would the meds. This one doesn't speak english and doesn't understand us we can't understand her. So, I'm not sure where that is going to go.

My son's mentality was that he doesn't see his Daddy enough, (yes he works all the time as I'm not able to work with my son's needs). However, he is home most nights during the week. We told this to the doctor, she asked my son how many hours he spend with his Dad, his answer was five hours a night. She asked him how many hours he wanted with his Dad, his responds was two hours. This is typical of his thinking. She asked about this, we told her that is how he is all the time and what we had been trying to tell her all this time. She didn't know what to say.

My son's perception of things are just I guess you would say backwards, which makes it very hard to direct him where he needs to go. He does not realize that his actions result in actions, etc. he is good he gets rewarded, he is bad he does not. He literally does not belief that he does things that he does. I have saw him stand and hit his brother, I get on to him and he is setting there looking me in the eye saying that he never touched him. He literally believes that he didn't do it.

It was determined sometime ago before we got a bipolar diagnosis that his reality and fantasy are confused. That he can not tell the difference, however again no one else has made mention of this and we don't know how to deal with this. We know that he also hears voices that tell him to do things as he has screamed at them and told me that they will not stop. Again we are told that doesn't happen with children. The new psychatrist says that because my son is not hypersexual then he can't have anything wrong with him. The best we could understand of her, she started reading from a book to us and she spoke so fast I only understood one phrase and I said he had that. She said well and that was it.

I'm mainly confused in all this. I just want to know how to parent my son so that we can have a peaceful and happy family. At this time it is total chaos and we struggle with different things that do not work. We have to keep our knives locked up or he will grab them and threaten himself when we say the smallest thing to him, like pick that toy up, don't hit your brother any more and rather than get better it seems to be getting worse as we keep changing psychatrist' s only because insurance keeps dropping them. We are told that insurance will not pay for the meds if the doctor is not a provider, however they would not pay the last doctor and paid for the meds. This time it is right opposite and we know it isn't helping at all any of us we go to this psych for four - five months start getting somewhere and then insurance says they will not pay we have to find someone else.

Sorry to unload like this, I'm just frustrated and confused. We have just battled this for so long that I'm starting to loose hope.

Karla

January 11, 2010

Hi Karla,

You've got your hands full. If he can't be responsible drinking sodas... stop buying them for him. If he continues to pour liquids on the floor, there are alternative restricitve-drinking devices.. like sport bottles... you could try those. When he is able to keep liquids off the floor for ~ a week~ you can bring back the soda, but in limited quantities. For instance, keep one in the fridge for him for in the am... pop one in the fridge for him around 11 for lunch time... etc.. If you can limit the access to soda, you also limit the issue of trying to get him to clean it up.

As far as not respecting the 'no food around the computer' rule... limit his computer time. If he is using the computer for educ. classes; allow him access ONLY during that time, and restrict it during any other times by turning it off, disconnecting a tower cord or router cord, or the power from the fuse box.

Let him earn back his time on the computer, by demonstrating that he is following the no- food-by-the-computer rule.

When he uses unaceptable language, tell him it is just that. The truth is, there's not a lot you can do about the language part, except to lead by example and to remind him he needs to 'check his language' and that it's inappropriate. Keep in mind that you are already in control, there's no need to get loud or let things escalate, maintaining your cool is important. I've learned that the language thing is not a battle I care to fight. I just continue to repeat each time... "inappropriate language.. rephrase please".

About his 'rough huggs', talk to him during a quiet time about this, when it's not going on. Tell him how much you love him and you that your so glad he likes hugging you and you realize sometimes he wants to show you he loves you SO MUCH with BIGGER huggs.. and and those BIG hugs are like level 10!! .. the TOP. Meaning they are the BIGGEST/Strongest EVER,.. Tell him some times a 10! is too much, and that Dad has a fragile back and he can only take a level 5 or 6 hug.

And at other times, like when ppl are sick, you have to give them a level 1 or 2 hug, like hugging a baby bunny. And for some ppl who are VERY strong, they may want a level 10 hug. Then tell him you appreciate him talking with you about this and you would like practice different hug levels... show him a 1 and so on... until he gets to the level you prefer... then say "Hey! This is MY LEVEL.. I'm a level X .!!!" Tell him how much you love his level X huggs,... THen each time he seems to be going past an appropriate level.. remind him.. "Yikes, I'm a.... 6.. 6.. 6.. ! "

From: karla smith <llamattude@...>Subject: ( ) Frustrated Date: Monday, January 4, 2010, 6:26 AM

Hi;

I guess I just need to vent a little here with my son. We are not exactly getting much help with him. He was diagnosed with bipolar about four years ago, however he was never fully stable then back in the summer it was mentioned that he may have mild to borderline Asp. A neuropsych and two psych have made this comment one claims expert in the field. Our psychologist who also claims expert says no he doesn't have it because his eye contact and IQ. Do to issues at school we pulled him out to homeschool him? Long story short there we were just told they didn't want him with his problems if we couldn't get them undercontrol, we were also told that by two other schools as well.

Home school itself has been great no problems there.

However we do have problems that are so frustrating. One is his mouth, he has such a terrible mouth he says words that we don't even speak. When asked about it he says Robbie says them so he can. (Robbie is the neighbors 17 year old grandson that lives with them. Also that lives with them is a daughter-in-law, granddaughter and grandson from a different son, as well as a daughter and her new baby. The house is crowded.) Robbie has been in alternative school, I think juvie and everything else. We don't like my kids being around Robbie, but the other little boy their age is the only one in the area for them to play with. So, it is a no win situation. We try to explain but it goes on deaf ears.

The next is that my son is rough. I mean when he tries to love on us he is rough and hurts. He sees his Dad and he tackles him roughly to the point that he has made my husbands back nearly go out more than once. We tell him not to be so rough and he starts in that we hate him, because we tell him to be easy. Then there are other times that he says he can do what he wants to and we can't do anything about it.

Last night I got so mad at him. One of the big rules in the house is no dishes around the computer. I found hide behind the monitor, a dozen glasses, two bowls, and I don't know how many forks and spoons. Since my oldest is always at the computer I knew it was him. I told him he had to get them and put them in the sink. He screamed and yelled he wasn't going to do it. I told him he couldn't go to his grandmothers, he started screaming that we hated him because we were making him do something. Huge fight he did finally pick up the biggest part of the dishes, however I did find one glass almost knocked on the floor this morning.

Oh, and then there was this weekend. I was in "the classroom" on my computer for a short bit to pay bills, I came back and it looked like he had took six soda cans and poured them on the floor and I found ten open on the table. He has this habit of opening one taking a drink, then open another. I get so frustrated at that and have told them not to drink anymore if they can't finish. So, this time I found this mess on the floor, I didn't feel good and was tired as I hadn't been sleeping well at night. I told him he had to clean it up, he screamed at me I hated him and I couldn't make him clean it up and he runs out the door.

We get that so much. We talk to the psychologist about that and this is when she says take something away from him. Well, what do you take away from him when nothing seems to be punishment for him. We have tried to take his grandmother away, but what do you do when you need a babysitter and he is supposed to be grounded from her. It doesn't seem to help much anyway, after an hour he is fine with it and still will go against everything.

I just get so tired of going behind him and cleaning up the same messes every day. I mean he is 12 years old and it is just the same old thing every morning the same spills the same, screaming and yelling, everything is the same and I want to break this habit. There are some things that I would love to lock up from him and give to him sparingly, but we have no place to put things. Our house is actually way to small for our family, but with the bills we have for him we can't afford anything else, so locking things up is hard. Then I think how do we handle this when he gets old, we can't keep things away from him forever.

thanks,

Karla

January 14, 2010

For the nasty mouth, I would explain to him the way the world works in

respect to how one acts. I mean, if this other young man is a

delinquent, then it should be obvious that he is not successful with

his life. You can point out that we get farther when we use

appropriate language. Sure, we can all say nasty words. But we don't.

There is a lot of logic in there that I would " harness " towards

changing his opinion. I would also leave the room or otherwise not

respond to him when he is using bad language. If punishment works,

then try it. But you need to think of short term punishments and not

long term things that you can't follow through with. Don't threaten

with, " You won't see grandma if you don't stop... " instead, make

immediate and short term punishments like " Finish your paper before

tv. " Or, " You just hit your sister. Hitting is not allowed. Time out

for 15 minutes. " Or whatever kind of situation you can manage and that

means something and that you can enforce. Another thing to remember is

that praise and reward works best.. When he's talking nicely, notice

and praise him for it. Give him more attention for doing it right than

from doing it wrong. You can also set up a positive reward plan where

you give him stickers or points for being appropriate and once it adds

up to a certain amount, he gets a prize. There are a lot of ways to

approach it. You have to figure out which one works for your

situation/your child.

For the rough play/hug, I would see an OT and get him into a program

that helps him learn how to better manage his touch. And I would also

work on one area of improvement at a time - pace yourself. Sounds like

his saying you can't stop him is a way that he is noticing that he has

no limits. But you can really take charge back from him. And you can

use a reward system on his jumping and hugging too hard as well.

As for the dishes, I would change tactics . I don't disagree that you

can set up rules like this, that's fine. But I don't think you should

get so upset or angry when he does this. If he leaves cans all over or

spills it on the floor, the easier way is to not buy any cans of pop.

No pop. No spills. Make him earn his pop. But don't keep buying it

for a kid who doesn't know how to drink it appropriately. set the

rules, then enforce it smartly and not by yelling and getting into a

fight with him.

Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

( ) Frustrated

Hi;

I guess I just need to vent a little here with my son. We are not

exactly getting much help with him. He was diagnosed with bipolar about

four years ago, however he was never fully stable then back in the

summer it was mentioned that he may have mild to borderline Asp. A

neuropsych and two psych have made this comment one claims expert in

the field. Our psychologist who also claims expert says no he doesn't

have it because his eye contact and IQ. Do to issues at school we

pulled him out to homeschool him? Long story short there we were just

told they didn't want him with his problems if we couldn't get them

undercontrol, we were also told that by two other schools as well.

Â

Home school itself has been great no problems there.

Â

However we do have problems that are so frustrating. One is his mouth,

he has such a terrible mouth he says words that we don't even speak.

When asked about it he says Robbie says them so he can. (Robbie is the

neighbors 17 year old grandson that lives with them. Also that lives

with them is a daughter-in-law, granddaughterÂ and grandson from a

different son, as well as a daughter and her new baby. The house is

crowded.) Robbie has been in alternative school, I think juvie and

everything else. We don't like my kids being around Robbie, but the

other little boy their age is the only one in the area for them to play

with. So, it is a no win situation. We try to explain but it goes on

deaf ears.

Â

The next is that my son is rough. I mean when he tries to love on us he

is rough and hurts. He sees his Dad and he tackles him roughly to the

point that he has made my husbands back nearly go out more than once.

We tell him not to be so rough and he starts in that we hate him,

because we tell him to be easy. Then there are other times that he says

he can do what he wants to and we can't do anything about it.

Â

Last night I got so mad at him. One of the big rules in the house is no

dishes around the computer. I found hide behind the monitor, a dozen

glasses, two bowls, and I don't know how many forks and spoons. Since

my oldest is always at the computer I knew it was him. I told him he

had to get them and put them in the sink. He screamed and yelled he

wasn't going to do it. I told him he couldn't go to his grandmothers,

he started screaming that we hated him because we were making him do

something. Huge fight he did finally pick up the biggest part of the

dishes, however I did find one glass almost knocked on the floor this

morning.

Â

Oh, and then there was this weekend. I was in " the classroom " on my

computer for a short bit to pay bills, I came back and it looked like

he had took six soda cans and poured them on the floor and I found ten

open on the table. He has this habit of opening one taking a drink,

then open another. I get so frustrated at that and have told them not

to drink anymore if they can't finish. So, this time I found this mess

on the floor, I didn't feel good and was tired as I hadn't been

sleeping well at night. I told him he had to clean it up, he screamed

at me I hated him and I couldn't make him clean it up and he runs out

the door.

Â

We get that so much. We talk to the psychologist about that and this is

when she says take something away from him. Well, what do you take away

from him when nothing seems to be punishment for him. We have tried to

take his grandmother away, but what do you do when you need a

babysitter and he is supposed to be grounded from her. It doesn't seem

to help much anyway, after an hour he is fine with it and still will go

against everything.

Â

I just get so tired of going behind him and cleaning up the same messes

every day. I mean he is 12 years old and it is just the same old thing

every morning the same spills the same, screaming and yelling,

everything is the same and I want to break this habit. There are some

things that I would love to lock up from him and give to him sparingly,

but we have no place to put things. Our house is actually way to small

for our family, but with the bills we have for him we can't afford

anything else, so locking things up is hard. Then I think how do we

handle this when he gets old, we can't keep things away from him

forever.

Â

thanks,

Karla

August 11, 2010

I have been on testosterone for a year or so. It perked up my sex life a

little, but not over the top by any means. But I like the effect. I have

noticeable more body hair, and my workouts at the gym have really made a

difference. Before I worked out with little gain. I have always had energy,

but lagged a little before the testosterone and I mentioned this to my fitness

doctor. He put me on thyroid, testosterone and arimidex. I think the arimidex

is the key for me. I take very small amounts, 1/2 tablet twice a week. But

sometimes a day after I take it I find I am horny and ready for sex.

I think I had plenty of testosterone all my life, but its my guess that it

breaks down into other components. I developed early, had a big cock by 12

years old, and was constantly horny or hard. I think it would have been helpful

if I had arimedex back in my teen age years. I might have developed more

muscle. I'm slender type build.

If I were you I would seek out a fitness doctor. I get very good care from

mine. He checks my levels every 3 months, and gives prostate exam, weight,

blood pressure, etc. Some doctors are conservative with everything. I'll take

some chances except when it comes to addictive meds.

I think the meds might have speeded up my hair loss, not sure because my father

lost his hair about the same age.

I am in So californian, Palm Springs area.

From: tckrtuck@...

Date: Wed, 11 Aug 2010 14:46:29 +0000

Subject: Frustrated

I have all the classic symptoms of low testosterone including, lethargy,

irritability, little to no libido, some ed, and weight gain. I am 36 years old

and eat healthy and exercise daily but nothin is helping. I went to the doc to

get testosterone checked and levels came back 189ng/dl. I was happy with the

results because and was ready to make the jump to treatment because I felt that

it could be a life changer since I no longer feel like myself. Doc wanted to

retest and levels came back at 264 for total test and 52 for free test which he

considers to be normal. I wanted to test again immediatly but he wants me to

wait 3 weeks because I also have low vitamin d which I began taking 2000mg of

after my initial blood work. His concern is the mood by my concern is my total

health and quality of life. My question to you is does testosterone treatment

help as much as I think or should I just suck it up and deal with my low

" normal " testosterone levels. Any input would be appreciated. Thank you

August 11, 2010

There are much more knowledgeable folks on this forum than I, but this number

sounds extremely low for a guy your age! I am 55, and my levels came back at

382. My doctor told me this was normal, but I was having similar issues as you.

You feel like crap because of your low T! You might be having higher than normal

estradiol issues as well with the weight gain. But something is going on, and

you need to get blood work done to see what it is. I think you will feel

immensely better if you get your T levels up.

Here is a post from another forum from a guy who boosted his test naturally:

I'm 52 and have had the same issues with low T, high E2 and corisol. Common

problems with guys our age. Two options: HRT or go the natural route of test

boosters, natural AI's, and something to control SHBG.

I'll be going on HRT soon but have had great results with the natural route

using Stinging Nettle Root Extract, L Dopa Mucuna, & Fadogia Agrestis. Combined

they boosted my test from under 300 to 800 which made a huge difference on how I

felt, increased libido...etc.

http://anabolicminds.com/store/1392.html

>

> I have all the classic symptoms of low testosterone including, lethargy,