HELP! Rages have us in constant crisis

[Guest guest]

Question for the group. I

apologize if this has been asked and answered before, if so direct me? I need

to know (besides move to a quiet area, get safe, therapeutic hold etc which I

know) what the heck do we do when our child rages while in public? My son

who is almost 6, is very quirky and clearly Aspergers but due to his age, no

one will formerly diagnose him, just “say he most likely has it” it

to me.

His formal diagnoses on paper from

his medical team following him from birth (yes its scattered and allot—please

I don’t need disagreements to this, I’m only putting it for

background to show you how messy everything is) is Mood Disorder, Childhood

Bipolar, ADHD-was ruled out, fits criteria for ODD, Sensory Processing

Disorder, possible NVLD, PDD-nos and his therapist stands on her DX of

Aspergers (which I agree). We entered the last hospital asking for

diagnostic clarity.

I have had (2) 51a’s

(complaint for abuse and neglect) filed by the school alleging –I--- have

the mental illness and nothing is wrong with my child (this is unsupported of

course) and then one filed by mobile crisis team for refusing a bed at a

hospital I did not want, and waiting 2 days for a planned admission to the

hospital of my choice.

Zachary just spent almost 3 weeks

in CBAT (Community Based Acute Treatment) this was his second placement since

September! I signed off for diagnostic testing/observation but they did

none). They saw a couple rages but then 2 very violent children came onto

the unit and sucked all the energy out of the staff, so Zachary’s issues

flew under the radar (no one to observe him) They found him to be stable

and released him. Funny that he went into a rage in the parking lot as we

were leaving over cookies he didn’t get in the house (I didn’t know

about) and his clinician was going to call to have him restrained. BUT he

was fine and didn’t need CBAT. They put him back in my hands like I

was to blame and needed lessons. *sighs

Some background about me.

I am a single mom, stuck living on

the state system due to the volume of supports it offers children. I am a

childcare professional with child psychology background, I am licensed to run a

family day care for the past 10 years and have done all the schooling to keep

that license, I am a certified paralegal and a foster parent. I run a

huge support group for Parents of Bipolar Children ( & comorbid

disgnoses). I am more than qualified to tend to children, especially with

special needs. But somehow the tables were turned on me and I was blamed.

I find myselt in that nowheres land of troubled child not getting help.

Zachary’s supports:

He

is currently in a Therapeutic school for a 45 days assessment. He has an

in home therapy team visit once per week, he has an independent therapist once

per week, we have a Family Therapist, he has an Intensive Care

Coodinator. We are signed in for placement for transition assistance for

them to come in the am and do morning routine and get to school with us.

Note: He is so unsafe he is not a candidate for transportation. His DRs

all agree, he should not be on a bus.

Since his discharge STABLE 3 days

ago in follow ups to the Dr's office 2 days in a row, when it was non

threatening environment – we had to leave both times. He attacked me and

the Drs and trashed their offices. Today on the way to the car for school

because he realized he didn't get the toaster strudel he never asked for he

went into full rage attacking me. Now after getting him safely in the house, he

will not go to school or I forsee another rage will ensue. In Mass the

law is he must attend school by Sept of the year he turns 6 – so legally

I can keep him home until they resolve these issues.

I know this is HUGE stuff I am

pilling on you and hope that you can wade through it and give me some direction

and help. I added all my info and his supports so that your energy in

replying wouldn’t be towards suggestions for that stuff. I’m

at my wits end, we have all the supports in place, no one will diagnose him

properly (and Im in the best city Boston!).

I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Denel

Exhasperated mom