Guest guest Posted December 10, 2009 Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 Yes, I completely understand. My son was recently diagnosed and is 4.5yrs. I'm more frustrated with my family who want to believe that " he'll outgrow it. " I have no words of wisdom, just wanted you to know that you aren't alone. Take care, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2009 Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 Hi, I hear you and I think we all may have had those questions and wonder ourselves from time to time,,,,(during the "good" times). I must say, though, that made us move on from thinking it was just him "being a boy" or "just the way he is"....was when we saw his "behaviors" hurting him. When we started seeing that, socially, he didn't "get it".. That others didn't want him around. That WE started to get frustrated AT and FOR him. It's like he went to the point where "him being him" was becoming much more negative than positive. If that makes sense.I think there is definitely something to the "boys being boys", I do. I've got a son who is really the typical "boy being a boy".....he's hyper, etc,,,,,,rough,,,,,whatever. But,,,,there's a difference btwn him and my son with AS. Don't know how else to describe it. Robin From: Lori <have_faith_2008@...>Subject: ( ) "He's Just Being a Boy!" Date: Wednesday, December 9, 2009, 11:38 PM OK, this is my topic about how easy it is to assign many AS behaviors to "he's just being a boy his age." Has anyone had this issue? I feel like there are so many thing I have ignore in the last couple years, just chalking it uop to my son being a boy! Or also, just acting his age... I have an older daughter, but it's so hard to remember how she was at that age and with him being a boy... My son is only 6, but we just recently were told to have him evaluated for AS. Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else had this experience and found so many things being easy to 'blame' or attribute to him just being a boy...?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2009 Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 Yes.... it is "just being a boy" normal behaviors often times. What isn't normal is the frequency and severity of the "normal" behaviors. ( ) "He's Just Being a Boy!" OK, this is my topic about how easy it is to assign many AS behaviors to "he's just being a boy his age." Has anyone had this issue? I feel like there are so many thing I have ignore in the last couple years, just chalking it uop to my son being a boy! Or also, just acting his age... I have an older daughter, but it's so hard to remember how she was at that age and with him being a boy... My son is only 6, but we just recently were told to have him evaluated for AS. Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else had this experience and found so many things being easy to 'blame' or attribute to him just being a boy...?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2009 Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 We've had just the opposite happen actually. We've had family members (his mothers family, we're his paternal grandparents raising our grandson), deny that there's a problem or say that Dillon's behaviors were normal. There's just so much of the behavior that you can define as "normal". We finally had his maternal side of the family come into a psychologists meeting with us for a sit down for them to understand about the numerous disabilities that Dillon has. They were in total denial about everything. There are other times when I have to remind myself that some things that he's doing are "normal" 8 year old boy things and not AS things. Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2009 Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 On Aug 8, 2:29pm, " Lori " wrote: } } OK, this is my topic about how easy it is to assign many AS behaviors to " h= } e's just being a boy his age. " Has anyone had this issue? I feel like the= } re are so many thing I have ignore in the last couple years, just chalking = } it uop to my son being a boy! Or also, just acting his age... I have an o= } lder daughter, but it's so hard to remember how she was at that age and wit= } h him being a boy... My son is only 6, but we just recently were told to h= } ave him evaluated for AS. Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else had = } this experience and found so many things being easy to 'blame' or attribute= } to him just being a boy...?! We've gotten " he's just an only child! " And that was *after* diagnosis. :-\ I guess the real question is, do you trust the person who suggested he be evaluated? Do they seem to have valid reasons? Do *you* feel like something else is going on? Willa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 We had the same kind of thing from my brothers family, his wife thought my son was VERY strange from an early age, although they only seen him once a year, my brother who is a Captain in the army and very opinionated advised me and my mother that Gregor behaved the way he does because we babied him too much and if we were more strict, punished him for unusual behaviour and left him to it with bullies he would learn how to behave correctly and get along with other kids. Since we only see them once a year and on this annual visit my brother would try to "fix" my son we have stopped the annual visits as all they done was upset my son and me, we're better off without this negativity from family, we have enough of a challenge with the rest of the world. From: lakombert@... <lakombert@...>Subject: Re: ( ) "He's Just Being a Boy!" Date: Thursday, 10 December, 2009, 22:21 We've had just the opposite happen actually. We've had family members (his mothers family, we're his paternal grandparents raising our grandson), deny that there's a problem or say that Dillon's behaviors were normal. There's just so much of the behavior that you can define as "normal". We finally had his maternal side of the family come into a psychologists meeting with us for a sit down for them to understand about the numerous disabilities that Dillon has. They were in total denial about everything. There are other times when I have to remind myself that some things that he's doing are "normal" 8 year old boy things and not AS things. Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009  I also have a son who is just as boy as they get (he is 8) and my oldest is the aspie (he is 14) do you see any signs that the stress of having a sibling of the same gender who just doesnt sseem to act the same? I am not sure what I am seeing in Austin but to me it seems that he works really hard at being patient and sometimes it is just alot to deal with at his age. I am not sure if it is different with different genders in the house. ( ) "He's Just Being a Boy!" Date: Wednesday, December 9, 2009, 11:38 PM OK, this is my topic about how easy it is to assign many AS behaviors to "he's just being a boy his age." Has anyone had this issue? I feel like there are so many thing I have ignore in the last couple years, just chalking it uop to my son being a boy! Or also, just acting his age... I have an older daughter, but it's so hard to remember how she was at that age and with him being a boy... My son is only 6, but we just recently were told to have him evaluated for AS. Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else had this experience and found so many things being easy to 'blame' or attribute to him just being a boy...?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Yes, I've been through this. It makes me so angry! Before we had 's diagnoses, when he was about 2, we had this friend visit us for TEN days! NEVER, EVER allow anyone to do this. She brought her two year old daughter. Now, to set this up I must say that this woman, though she is married, has a bad attitude about men. She's quite a feminist and also is very sexist when it comes to boys. So every rambunctious (destructive) thing her 2 year old girl did was " cute " and everything " bad " did was " a boy thing. " Her daughter ran at and slammed him onto his back on the floor, he was screaming like any typical 2 year old would do and she said, " Oh isn't that cute, she's trying to dance with him. " She slammed into our TV the same way and damn if she didn't break it. We had to go and buy a new one. We had no proof it was her slam that broke it but I did see her slam it a few times to try to keep from watching. She'd spread her arms and give a coy look to see if he was upset. The mom said was " arrogant " when he wouldn't interact with her oh-so-cute child! Of course it would have helped to know had a good reason for some of his behavior but this person's attitude was the worst I've encountered. When she put 's bike helmet on her daughter and strapped it on went ballistic. We'd told him never to let anyone borrow his bike helmet because lice was a big problem in our town so maybe that's why, but maybe it wasn't. He was only 2 afterall. Anyway, yanked at the helmet to get it away and yanked the girl around and I jumped right in to get to stop but then the other mom was angry because I didn't " validate " her daugher's feelings. Okay, so I was trying to get to STOP and he was big and flailing and upset. Anyway, this mom stormed up the stairs and yelled, " needs to GROW UP! " WTF?! He's TWO! Anyway, this is an extreme example and even without AS I'm sure there would have been problems with this particular person. She hasn't visited us again and we haven't asked her to. LOL. We're still friendly with her husband, however. Miriam > > OK, this is my topic about how easy it is to assign many AS behaviors to " he's just being a boy his age. " Has anyone had this issue? I feel like there are so many thing I have ignore in the last couple years, just chalking it uop to my son being a boy! Or also, just acting his age... I have an older daughter, but it's so hard to remember how she was at that age and with him being a boy... My son is only 6, but we just recently were told to have him evaluated for AS. Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else had this experience and found so many things being easy to 'blame' or attribute to him just being a boy...?! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 We went to a playgroup when Gregor was younger, he would quietly wait until it was his turn in the car, I was always proud that he was so polite, then when he got in the car another boy would grab the back of the car and run full pelt with it until he slammed it into a wall, Gregor of course would be crying I would run and check he was ok, the other mother never told her son off, but would comment that Gregor was awfully sensitive, I'd have been sensitive too if I'd just been slammed into a wall! We went to a different playgroup after a couple of weeks. From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@...>Subject: ( ) Re: "He's Just Being a Boy!" Date: Friday, 11 December, 2009, 12:44 Yes, I've been through this. It makes me so angry! Before we had 's diagnoses, when he was about 2, we had this friend visit us for TEN days! NEVER, EVER allow anyone to do this. She brought her two year old daughter. Now, to set this up I must say that this woman, though she is married, has a bad attitude about men. She's quite a feminist and also is very sexist when it comes to boys. So every rambunctious (destructive) thing her 2 year old girl did was "cute" and everything "bad" did was "a boy thing." Her daughter ran at and slammed him onto his back on the floor, he was screaming like any typical 2 year old would do and she said, "Oh isn't that cute, she's trying to dance with him." She slammed into our TV the same way and damn if she didn't break it. We had to go and buy a new one. We had no proof it was her slam that broke it but I did see her slam it a few times to try to keep from watching. She'd spread her arms and give a coy look to see if he was upset. The mom said was "arrogant" when he wouldn't interact with her oh-so-cute child! Of course it would have helped to know had a good reason for some of his behavior but this person's attitude was the worst I've encountered. When she put 's bike helmet on her daughter and strapped it on went ballistic. We'd told him never to let anyone borrow his bike helmet because lice was a big problem in our town so maybe that's why, but maybe it wasn't. He was only 2 afterall. Anyway, yanked at the helmet to get it away and yanked the girl around and I jumped right in to get to stop but then the other mom was angry because I didn't "validate" her daugher's feelings. Okay, so I was trying to get to STOP and he was big and flailing and upset. Anyway, this mom stormed up the stairs and yelled, " needs to GROW UP!" WTF?! He's TWO! Anyway, this is an extreme example and even without AS I'm sure there would have been problems with this particular person. She hasn't visited us again and we haven't asked her to. LOL. We're still friendly with her husband, however.Miriam>> OK, this is my topic about how easy it is to assign many AS behaviors to "he's just being a boy his age." Has anyone had this issue? I feel like there are so many thing I have ignore in the last couple years, just chalking it uop to my son being a boy! Or also, just acting his age... I have an older daughter, but it's so hard to remember how she was at that age and with him being a boy... My son is only 6, but we just recently were told to have him evaluated for AS. Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else had this experience and found so many things being easy to 'blame' or attribute to him just being a boy...?!> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 Totally, a!!!!!!! The connection we all have with our kids and entire family is incredible. Yes,,,,,the chaos and noise....he he. But, man, we genuinely are with eachother and here FOR eachother and KNOW eachother and for that, I'd trade nothing. Robin From: Lori <have_faith_2008>Subject: ( ) "He's Just Being a Boy!" Date: Wednesday, December 9, 2009, 11:38 PM OK, this is my topic about how easy it is to assign many AS behaviors to "he's just being a boy his age." Has anyone had this issue? I feel like there are so many thing I have ignore in the last couple years, just chalking it uop to my son being a boy! Or also, just acting his age... I have an older daughter, but it's so hard to remember how she was at that age and with him being a boy... My son is only 6, but we just recently were told to have him evaluated for AS. Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else had this experience and found so many things being easy to 'blame' or attribute to him just being a boy...?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Lori, I have quite a bit of guilt about that phrase. My close friend has just one child, and since she didn’t grow up with younger siblings or relatives like I did, she would ask me about my nephews and nieces. For example, her son never shared details about his day at school, while her friends with daughters heard all the details. Or her son never got the inferences while reading. Or he wasn’t really good at sharing, came across as rigid when playing with others. I’d talk to my siblings who are all parents, and they would tell me to tell her that he was just being a boy and an only child. When her son was in middle school, the grade I teach, they came and spent a few days and I didn’t really observe anything out of the usual. He wasn’t diagnosed AS until a teenager, and then many little pieces fell into place. I regret I couldn’t have helped her to find the reason earlier and saved these good parents their guilt. I now have a few relatives using that term to describe some unusual behaviors of their own boys and I am concerned that they may lose time helping their boys as my friend did. E.C. Bernard From: Lori <have_faith_2008 > Subject: ( ) " He's Just Being a Boy! " Date: Wednesday, December 9, 2009, 11:38 PM OK, this is my topic about how easy it is to assign many AS behaviors to " he's just being a boy his age. " Has anyone had this issue? I feel like there are so many thing I have ignore in the last couple years, just chalking it uop to my son being a boy! Or also, just acting his age... I have an older daughter, but it's so hard to remember how she was at that age and with him being a boy... My son is only 6, but we just recently were told to have him evaluated for AS. Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else had this experience and found so many things being easy to 'blame' or attribute to him just being a boy...?! __________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus signature database 4677 (20091210) __________ The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus. http://www.eset.com __________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus signature database 4677 (20091210) __________ The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus. http://www.eset.com __________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus signature database 4683 (20091213) __________ The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus. http://www.eset.com __________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus signature database 4683 (20091213) __________ The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus. http://www.eset.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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