the word reward

[Guest guest]

My son is almost 6, for years I have been giving him small rewards for good behavior. stickers, a treat, time on the computer etc. I have used the word REWARD often. I have stated " mommy doesn't reward bad behavior" etc. Then last night he says, " mom have I been doing better?" I said yes.. He said "so I get a reward if I am doing well for 2 more days". We had been praising him and promised a trip to mcdonalds for ice cream if he kept it up for 7 days. I agreed with him. Then he said "mommy I dont understand the word reward" "what does reward mean?" So again I explained it. I assumed he connected the dots years ago on what reward means. So I explained and his answer was "oh then I dont want mcdonalds I want a game cube"

I'm glad he is trying to understand. The whole thing made me wonder what he understands and doesn't that I have taken for granted as thinking he knew. Should I have let him chose his rewards long ago ?

Part of me thought the conversation was funny, another part sad, all these years I thought he understood words I used daily.

[Guest guest]

I do not know your child but mine started to use the reward thing and to manipulate us into more and more exoensive things, so eventually we agreeed all rewards had to be non monetary - earned time to play video game, legos, time with mom, choice of game on game night, etc. Otherwise we would be even more broke than we already are now.

From: "boogermeanie@..." <boogermeanie@...>Aspergers Treatment Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 10:21:21 AMSubject: ( ) the word "reward"

My son is almost 6, for years I have been giving him small rewards for good behavior. stickers, a treat, time on the computer etc. I have used the word REWARD often. I have stated " mommy doesn't reward bad behavior" etc. Then last night he says, " mom have I been doing better?" I said yes.. He said "so I get a reward if I am doing well for 2 more days". We had been praising him and promised a trip to mcdonalds for ice cream if he kept it up for 7 days. I agreed with him. Then he said "mommy I dont understand the word reward" "what does reward mean?" So again I explained it. I assumed he connected the dots years ago on what reward means. So I explained and his answer was "oh then I dont want mcdonalds I want a game cube"

I'm glad he is trying to understand. The whole thing made me wonder what he understands and doesn't that I have taken for granted as thinking he knew. Should I have let him chose his rewards long ago ?

Part of me thought the conversation was funny, another part sad, all these years I thought he understood words I used daily.

[Guest guest]

I think that this is something which is common with all kids and parents - we

use words and assume they know what they mean unless they tell us otherwise. I

remember reading an article about teaching children to be tolerant of

racial/cultural differences, and the author said she had been telling her

daughter that all people are equal for like 6 months when one day the girl

finally asked her what " equal " meant!

>

> My son is almost 6, for years I have been giving him small rewards for good

> behavior. stickers, a treat, time on the computer etc. I have used the

> word REWARD often. I have stated " mommy doesn't reward bad behavior " etc.

> Then last night he says, " mom have I been doing better? " I said yes..

> He said " so I get a reward if I am doing well for 2 more days " . We had been

> praising him and promised a trip to mcdonalds for ice cream if he kept it

> up for 7 days. I agreed with him. Then he said " mommy I dont understand

> the word reward " " what does reward mean? " So again I explained it. I

> assumed he connected the dots years ago on what reward means. So I explained

> and his answer was " oh then I dont want mcdonalds I want a game cube "

>

>

> I'm glad he is trying to understand. The whole thing made me wonder what

> he understands and doesn't that I have taken for granted as thinking he

> knew. Should I have let him chose his rewards long ago ?

> Part of me thought the conversation was funny, another part sad, all these

> years I thought he understood words I used daily.

>

[Guest guest]

LOL yeah its amazing when you try to look at it through their eyes and what we expect from them. eye opening. I used to say I had to hit the post office ( i sell books on amazon and its a common trip) I quit saying it like that when my son told the doctor "mommy hits mailboxes when she drives"

LOL

In a message dated 2/16/2011 7:10:50 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, beanniferj@... writes:

I think that this is something which is common with all kids and parents - we use words and assume they know what they mean unless they tell us otherwise. I remember reading an article about teaching children to be tolerant of racial/cultural differences, and the author said she had been telling her daughter that all people are equal for like 6 months when one day the girl finally asked her what "equal" meant!>> My son is almost 6, for years I have been giving him small rewards for good > behavior. stickers, a treat, time on the computer etc. I have used the > word REWARD often. I have stated " mommy doesn't reward bad behavior" etc. > Then last night he says, " mom have I been doing better?" I said yes.. > He said "so I get a reward if I am doing well for 2 more days". We had been > praising him and promised a trip to mcdonalds for ice cream if he kept it > up for 7 days. I agreed with him. Then he said "mommy I dont understand > the word reward" "what does reward mean?" So again I explained it. I > assumed he connected the dots years ago on what reward means. So I explained > and his answer was "oh then I dont want mcdonalds I want a game cube"> > > I'm glad he is trying to understand. The whole thing made me wonder what > he understands and doesn't that I have taken for granted as thinking he > knew. Should I have let him chose his rewards long ago ?> Part of me thought the conversation was funny, another part sad, all these > years I thought he understood words I used daily.>