Guest guest Posted April 9, 2011 Report Share Posted April 9, 2011 I'm wondering if maybe the teacher is trying to convey that he doesn't respond to jokes, which sometimes might be hard to get for kids on the spectrum, especially if they are subtle or involve body language. My son is high-functioning w/ Aspergers and he's always had a really good sense of humor, but what's funny to him vs. what's funny to others isn't always quite right and more subtle jokes he can miss sometimes. Given all of that, though, I'd say my son truly does have a good sense of humor. I'd just ask specifically what that means. From: osmom1147 <osmom1147@...> Sent: Sat, April 9, 2011 6:24:03 PMSubject: ( ) "lack of humor" what? My 5 year old son is in the middle of being officially diagnosed with aspergers. Some forms were given out to his teachers at school by the dev. pediatrician. Even though they were hard to read there were no big surprises except one thing the teacher put down was "lack of humor" For some reason this is so upsetting to me. My son really has an excellent, fun, absurd, maybe a bit quirky sense of humor...but to say lack of humor just makes me so sad since I consider it one of his strong points. Is this something in aspergers that is often misunderstood? Do you ever get used to people making these assumptions and saying things about your kids that you know are not true? It's really bumming me out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 2011 Report Share Posted April 10, 2011 I think she is misunderstanding him. He probably does have a good sense of humor but in his own way. He doesn't understand or get the jokes that happen in class. She doesn't know how to read him. I would not worry about one comment by one teacher. You see his humor. Did any of the other teachers mention this? Please don't let the comment of one person bum you out. Your son has a sense of humor because you have seen it...she hasn't. j "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: MacAllister <smacalli@...> Sent: Sat, April 9, 2011 11:23:16 PMSubject: Re: ( ) "lack of humor" what? I'm wondering if maybe the teacher is trying to convey that he doesn't respond to jokes, which sometimes might be hard to get for kids on the spectrum, especially if they are subtle or involve body language. My son is high-functioning w/ Aspergers and he's always had a really good sense of humor, but what's funny to him vs. what's funny to others isn't always quite right and more subtle jokes he can miss sometimes. Given all of that, though, I'd say my son truly does have a good sense of humor. I'd just ask specifically what that means. From: osmom1147 <osmom1147@...> Sent: Sat, April 9, 2011 6:24:03 PMSubject: ( ) "lack of humor" what? My 5 year old son is in the middle of being officially diagnosed with aspergers. Some forms were given out to his teachers at school by the dev. pediatrician. Even though they were hard to read there were no big surprises except one thing the teacher put down was "lack of humor" For some reason this is so upsetting to me. My son really has an excellent, fun, absurd, maybe a bit quirky sense of humor...but to say lack of humor just makes me so sad since I consider it one of his strong points. Is this something in aspergers that is often misunderstood? Do you ever get used to people making these assumptions and saying things about your kids that you know are not true? It's really bumming me out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 2011 Report Share Posted April 10, 2011 I can't help but wonder if she's just ticked he doesn't think the teacher is funny. Humor is so personal. Some aspies like more highbrow humor. Who knows. Who says she even has a sense of humor to judge this in the first place? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 2011 Report Share Posted April 10, 2011 You guys are probably right, she is just misunderstanding him. I will probably nicely ask her to clarify a little bit. I'm sure sometimes he may take some of their jokes literally, especially when he's already a little bit uncomfortable in school. At the same time, I think the word " lack " is what bothers me. It is also something that is often listed in aspergers traits, which kind of annoys me since humor is so subjective anyways and differs so much with everybody, aspergers or not. Thanks for your replies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 2011 Report Share Posted April 10, 2011 > > I can't help but wonder if she's just ticked he doesn't think the teacher is > funny. Humor is so personal. Some aspies like more highbrow humor. Who > knows. Who says she even has a sense of humor to judge this in the first > place? > I agree...who is one person to judge another person's humor! thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 2011 Report Share Posted April 10, 2011 They do have a sense of humor it is just a lot more subtle and most people don't see it. I think that would upset me too...Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless ( ) "lack of humor" what? My 5 year old son is in the middle of being officially diagnosed with aspergers. Some forms were given out to his teachers at school by the dev. pediatrician. Even though they were hard to read there were no big surprises except one thing the teacher put down was " lack of humor " For some reason this is so upsetting to me. My son really has an excellent, fun, absurd, maybe a bit quirky sense of humor...but to say lack of humor just makes me so sad since I consider it one of his strong points. Is this something in aspergers that is often misunderstood? Do you ever get used to people making these assumptions and saying things about your kids that you know are not true? It's really bumming me out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 2011 Report Share Posted April 10, 2011 Hi! Keep in mind that those questionnaires/forms can be a pain to complete sometimes, because it can be difficult to categorize a child as never/sometimes/always, etc. The teacher might simply be completing it in the context of how often she personally sees the sense of humor come through within the classroom when she happens to be listening and watching. Maybe your dear one reveals that sense of humor when the teacher isn't really paying much attention. I've realized now that most doctors, or whoever is conducting the evaluation, is aware of the fact that these discrepancies can occur depending who is completing the eval. When you receive the final report, you can always mention your concerns and offer some examples of your dear one's sense of humor if you feel concerned. I often jot down a note here and there when I complete the forms because it is not always a simple yes/no type of answer. The evaluator will get a general idea of where to begin in helping him get started in assisting your child, and then you and all concerned can develop the plan/s further as you go along. It will be all right! Take care! --Kari > > My 5 year old son is in the middle of being officially diagnosed with aspergers. Some forms were given out to his teachers at school by the dev. pediatrician. Even though they were hard to read there were no big surprises except one thing the teacher put down was " lack of humor " For some reason this is so upsetting to me. My son really has an excellent, fun, absurd, maybe a bit quirky sense of humor...but to say lack of humor just makes me so sad since I consider it one of his strong points. Is this something in aspergers that is often misunderstood? Do you ever get used to people making these assumptions and saying things about your kids that you know are not true? It's really bumming me out. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 They're just not getting HIS jokes! LOL. Maybe they lack humor. doesn't always get jokes and will say, " You're joking, right? " or " Are you being sarcastic? " But he also makes his own jokes. Many of them are asperger jokes. He looked at the clock at 3:45 one day and laughed about it. He said, " 3:45 is a funny time. " It's because they numbers are in sequence. Lately he's been creatively editing other people's videos on youtube to his own liking. They do make me laugh. He started doing this when he saw other people do it. Some of them are AWFUL but they're also very very funny. Sometimes he says things that are funny without meaning to be funny but now he's also starting to say things to TRY to be funny. I think a kid with an asperger sense of humor might just be hard for a neurotypical teacher to get. They want to deal with people in the bell curve so what do they know?! The fact that you appreciate his sense of humor is important. Humor is a way to deal with the tough times and I doubt I'd have survived without being able to laugh. It probably is harder to laugh at school where there's a lot of anxiety anyway. Miriam > > > You guys are probably right, she is just misunderstanding him. I will probably nicely ask her to clarify a little bit. I'm sure sometimes he may take some of their jokes literally, especially when he's already a little bit uncomfortable in school. At the same time, I think the word " lack " is what bothers me. It is also something that is often listed in aspergers traits, which kind of annoys me since humor is so subjective anyways and differs so much with everybody, aspergers or not. Thanks for your replies! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 My daughter is that way, she can tell jokes and kid around but when other people do it, she just stares at them. From: MacAllister <smacalli@...>Subject: Re: ( ) "lack of humor" what? Date: Saturday, April 9, 2011, 11:23 PM I'm wondering if maybe the teacher is trying to convey that he doesn't respond to jokes, which sometimes might be hard to get for kids on the spectrum, especially if they are subtle or involve body language. My son is high-functioning w/ Aspergers and he's always had a really good sense of humor, but what's funny to him vs. what's funny to others isn't always quite right and more subtle jokes he can miss sometimes. Given all of that, though, I'd say my son truly does have a good sense of humor. I'd just ask specifically what that means. From: osmom1147 <osmom1147@...> Sent: Sat, April 9, 2011 6:24:03 PMSubject: ( ) "lack of humor" what? My 5 year old son is in the middle of being officially diagnosed with aspergers. Some forms were given out to his teachers at school by the dev. pediatrician. Even though they were hard to read there were no big surprises except one thing the teacher put down was "lack of humor" For some reason this is so upsetting to me. My son really has an excellent, fun, absurd, maybe a bit quirky sense of humor...but to say lack of humor just makes me so sad since I consider it one of his strong points. Is this something in aspergers that is often misunderstood? Do you ever get used to people making these assumptions and saying things about your kids that you know are not true? It's really bumming me out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 It also may be that your son, even at his age, is reacting to what the humor is about. Kids at that age (and even adults) sometimes think it's funny to joke about someone. Teachers can use sarcasm and what they think is being funny when talking about rules or breaking rules, etc. My daughter has a really good sense of humor, but at school she was frequently confused when a serious subject (like a rule) was joked about -- it was like the importance of following the rule diluted the humor and she couldn't understand the humor. My daughter has also never seen humor in the sort of joking that makes someone else the target of a joke -- even if it is well-intended and even if the other person is not bothered -- so that sort of thing never seemed funny to her and was a big source of distress for her. So it could be that what the teacher sees as appropriate humor (from her or from the other kids) involves content that your child treats seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 One more thing to say about this -- it might help for you to explain to your child's teacher how HARD your child is working, every minute when he is at school. His Aspie brain works differently and receives a whole lot more information at the same time than the neurotypical brain does. So from the minute he sets foot on the school grounds, he's working hard to cope with loud sounds, noises, lots of kids and adults, smells, lights, visual stimulation -- bulletin boards, posters, etc. He has a lot of information to absorb and it's constant. For him to focus in school and work on what's at hand takes a lot of concentration. So if she understands that, it may help her realize that it's not a lack of humor, it's that he using an intense amount of internal energy to cope with the whole environment and what SHE thinks is funny may just not seem that way in the moment. My daughter is 15 now, and she can talk very clearly about how being at school affected her. But she couldn't when she was 5, and i look back and realize how hard she was working to just cope with the environmental stuff, plus do what was asked of her. It didn't leave much room for her to be relaxed and silly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 dphock-- So well said....thank you!! > > One more thing to say about this -- it might help for you to explain to your child's teacher how HARD your child is working, every minute when he is at school. His Aspie brain works differently and receives a whole lot more information at the same time than the neurotypical brain does. So from the minute he sets foot on the school grounds, he's working hard to cope with loud sounds, noises, lots of kids and adults, smells, lights, visual stimulation -- bulletin boards, posters, etc. He has a lot of information to absorb and it's constant. For him to focus in school and work on what's at hand takes a lot of concentration. So if she understands that, it may help her realize that it's not a lack of humor, it's that he using an intense amount of internal energy to cope with the whole environment and what SHE thinks is funny may just not seem that way in the moment. > > My daughter is 15 now, and she can talk very clearly about how being at school affected her. But she couldn't when she was 5, and i look back and realize how hard she was working to just cope with the environmental stuff, plus do what was asked of her. It didn't leave much room for her to be relaxed and silly. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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