single mother of 3, oldest w/pdd nos and adhd. looking for support to stay calm

[Guest guest]

I work full time and try to be a mom. I have bigger problems on weekends that

they are with me. They seem to hate each other. I'm just at the end. We go to

therapy weekly. Helps when we are there but I need something else. I have no

family where I live, due to ex-husband moving us here prior to divorce. If

anyone can point me in a direction I would be forever grateful.

[Guest guest]

When you say "we" go to therapy weekly, do you get any one-on-one time yourself or is all of your family in the room at the same time? If you don't get any one-on-one, I'd highly recommend it. Maybe you could even just ask to have the last 15-20 minutes for just you. I'm a single mom too and I split my son's time w/ his psychologist (behavioral/play therapy) so i could have part of the time for just me and I really think it saved my sanity, self-respect, family and helped me learn to love myself, in the midst of pure chaos.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: tymcx123 <cstinson13@...> Sent: Sat, November 14, 2009 9:23:25 AMSubject: ( ) single mother of 3, oldest w/pdd nos and adhd. looking for support to stay calm

I work full time and try to be a mom. I have bigger problems on weekends that they are with me. They seem to hate each other. I'm just at the end. We go to therapy weekly. Helps when we are there but I need something else. I have no family where I live, due to ex-husband moving us here prior to divorce. If anyone can point me in a direction I would be forever grateful.

[Guest guest]

Hi! If you don't mind answering: Do you have custody of your children--they're

with you weekdays and alternate weekends? How far away does your ex live from

you? How far away does your family live from you? Do your children go to school

and do they provide any special services there? Sorry for all the questions!

Just trying to think of some ideas for you, but it's helpful to have a bit more

information (if that's okay). I belong to a church that has Sunday School for an

hour Sunday mornings. I briefly explained my dd's diagnosis of Asperger's

Syndrome to her teacher and the director (pastor's wife) there, and now my dd

attends Sunday School which benefits her and also allows me some time for

myself. My dd also goes to public school. I work during the school day.

I'm still stressed out about many things, but it helps to have time for myself

sometimes. Try to get a good night's rest whenever possible. It makes a huge

difference! Take care of yourself and you'll be in better physical/emotional

health to take care of the little ones. It's good advice, although I know it's

not always easy to do! Sometimes it helps to just close your eyes and take some

deep breaths during the stressful situations. Take care. We love our children

and we're doing our best to take care of them and show them we love them. You

are doing your best. -Kari

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> I work full time and try to be a mom. I have bigger problems on weekends that

they are with me. They seem to hate each other. I'm just at the end. We go to

therapy weekly. Helps when we are there but I need something else. I have no

family where I live, due to ex-husband moving us here prior to divorce. If

anyone can point me in a direction I would be forever grateful.

>

[Guest guest]

You can email me if you like? I have been working with

a behaviorist since the summer.

What I would do on the weekends is a have schedule for

each day and small reinforcers to keep behavior on track.

Keep a schedule, get out of the house, if you can manage

to shop without the kids this will be much better and

reduce stress greatly. Reduce transitions and rushing.

If you have to shop for food pick a kid friendly meal

the kids can help prepare as an activity on the weekend.

Or if the kids are old enough have them go one at a time

to search for an item to help you but come right back

(they have to be at least 10 years old for this).

And praise every hour for staying on schedule and cooperating.

Keep the reinforcers small, inexpensive but meaningful to the kids.

8-9am eat breakfast, dress and be kind to each other

earns: 30 minutes game with Mom or TV time etc.

10-12 chores at home and lunch

12-3pm Outside activity (park, library)

3-5pm relax prior to dinner

5-6pm Dinner and help clean up

6-8pm Movie Night or Game Night (if Sunday)

8pm in pjs and reading in bed

Pam

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> I work full time and try to be a mom. I have bigger problems on weekends that

they are with me. They seem to hate each other. I'm just at the end. We go to

therapy weekly. Helps when we are there but I need something else. I have no

family where I live, due to ex-husband moving us here prior to divorce. If

anyone can point me in a direction I would be forever grateful.

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